#eyelesssnowman

[kaicentious]

"H-Hey, kid, I can get you with all the ice cubes you want. I'm a snowman, kid. I can get a lot of ice cubes." /read about btw i.d.k. if you got the message?

“What the fuck...?????”

[denofsnakcs]

"Hey, hey kid. Hey. I gotta magic trick. Y'wanna see it?" Little did Shey know that this creepy snowman was, in fact, possibly the biggest conman other than her.

Shey kept walking, seeming as if she paid the snowman no mind. Though it was hard to ignore a snowman in the middle of July.

“I’m good fam. I caught the ‘don’t let creepy strangers lead ya into alleyways’ pretty quick.  And considering the angle yer workin’ I’m prolly a little old fer yer target demo.”

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Examine! A battered top hat! With a gray band, wide brim and a slightly moist interior. A few bullet holes, burns and slashes.

Snowman’s Top Hat:

Hat/Headgear: Poor/Unique Equip: D-Rank

Stats: +1 Inventory +2 Res +2 Def -30 Charisma

This thing isn’t ‘magical’ so much as downright irritating just by association with its owner. Otherwise it might have been a truly splendid example of a hat. Oddly enough there are a few signs that a spider managed to live there at least recently, odd given the rather frosty nature of the entity known to wear it.

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

"Whoa, chill. I'm not trying to run for Santa Claus or anything, man."

“...not saying you were.”

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

"Hey, Hriob," said a burlap bag-toting snowman, "I decided to not be a douche for one day and I bought you a holiday gift. I don't know if you celebrate Christmas, but I got you a set of car keys."

“...just the keys? For how many cars?”

[team-brnt-blog]

@eyelesssnowman liked for a starter!

“I’ve never seen a sentient snowman before... hm... I like your hat.”

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

"That's too bad, squirt. Get ready. What do you get when you cross an apple with a fashion company?"

Apparently, you get Hriob walking away and vanishing into thin air before the punchline can be delivered.