Leaving tomorrow...the fear and the relief.
It is weird being at this point where I am completely panicking about what I will have to eat and do at Renfrew BUT simultaneously feeling a sense a relief that someone is stepping in to save me from myself. I have been mentally preparing myself for the past 2 weeks to surrender it all to the team. To trust more than I have trusted before. To be more honest than I have ever been before. To feel more than I have felt before. To dig deeper than I have ever dug before.
Not gonna lie...the panic is there. I have googled every possible combination of terms to know as much as I can about what meals I will be eating, what the other patients will be like, even the level I will be at. The uncertainty for a control freak is a killer. But I will do this. I must do this.