My thoughts on the birth
With my first pregnancy and birth a couple months behind me I want try and give a few descriptions of what it was like for me.
Overall, I think the labor process was more exhausting and painful than I expected. I knew it was going to be hard, but I wasn’t prepared for the length of time it would take, the lack of sleep and sheer fatigue.
Some thoughts about pain
Everyone talks about how painful it is to give birth. It’s ingrained in our culture. And yes, it was VERY painful. But what doesn’t get enough attention in my opinion, is that it is SO worth it in the end❤️ You do it out of love, and you push yourself beyond your limits if you have to, because the love you feel is overwhelming, almost terrifying.
Most here have seen pictures and videos of the crowning process, and it looks very extreme. Almost defying belief, in my humble opinion 😅 But for me, that was not the most painful part. While extremely physically challenging and exhausting, the pain from that never quite reached the levels that I experienced from the contractions BEFORE I could even start pushing. Maybe it was just subjective, but I find it really interesting 🤔
Pushing
Pushing her out was the most physically demanding thing I have ever done. I have never exerted myself that much before or used my muscles to that extent. Even muscles I didn’t know I had. Feeling the urge, being able to lean into the first big push did feel like a bit of a relief though. It was definitely an improvement over just drowning in the mind numbing pain of the contractions. It was a very odd sensation. I had her inside me for 9 months, and suddenly my body was telling me that this was now totally intolerable and had to change RIGHT NOW. It didn’t matter that the pressure in my pelvis became huge and painful, and my opening stretching way beyond normal capacity. She just had to come out, no matter what. So I pushed.
Crowning
After pushing a couple of times I could feel her head moving and sliding inside me. I started crowing fairly quickly. It was mostly a sensation of tremendous pressure in my butt at first, like it was coming out of both holes at the same time. And I actually didn’t know what exactly was happening until my husband and my midwife said almost simultaneously that they could see the head. The pressure gradually transformed into burning and a very distinct sensation of being extremely open.
It came to a point where it was hard for me to open any further and for what felt like a long time (around 10 minutes according to my husband), I didn’t make any progress. It was kind of distressing, and I started to feel like I wouldn’t be able to get her out. I even said so very loudly a few times 😆
I felt huge, exhausted and helpless.
As some of you may remember, I did experiment a little bit with an inflatable toy to simulate crowning during my pregnancy. I have to admit it made me feel like a badass when I did that, but experiencing the real thing was very humbling 😅
The moment of birth
It felt impossible, but as it turned out, it wasn’t. The stinging pressure reached a new peak and I felt my lips stretch and peel back. I could feel my hips moving in a strange way as the huge mass rushed out of my body. It only took 2-3 seconds, but I felt everything and I can still recall it very vividly like it happened in slow motion. It was both horrible and absolutely amazing. The relief was incredible! The most pure beautiful feeling of physical and mental relief I have ever experienced. And…just a hint of a sad emptiness in my belly🥺
I don’t remember much about birthing the placenta and stuff happening after that, except being an extremely happy proud mom.
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Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading that😊 I will try to check my messages a bit more often going forwards, so please don’t be afraid to ask me questions or share your thoughts. I’m an open book😊