#fabglance

[naturalinnashville]

Vibes + Cornrows www.fabglance.com www.instagram.com/fabglance

[fabglance1]

When your twistout is popping! www.instagram.com/fabglance

[fabglance1]

#XD30 - DAY 11 - HONEST

“If you could just give me the names and the emails of the guests you want to come to the wedding, I can do everything else.” Jordan stood over Jack while he was sitting on the couch playing a video game. The couple was deep into wedding planning, or rather Jordan was deep into wedding planning. Jack was deep into avoiding. He knew this time would come, but he did not want to accept it.

“Babe, I gave you the names of my frat brothers, their dates & wives, Ahlia and her parents AND their spouses, my uncle Rob and his new wife, and my grandparents. We good.” He shrugged his shoulders like Kanye at the MTV music awards and continued to avoid her green-eyed stare. Jack knew Jordan was looking for the names and addresses of his birth parents. This was a topic he avoided with such swift precision that the CIA couldn’t even track him.

“Jackson Daquan. You can’t have JUST twenty people at your wedding, sitting on your side of the church and I have over 100 people on my side.”

“Then it seems like someone needs to cut her list. Wedding getting too damn expensive anyway.” He knew that last part was gonna get him into a lot of trouble. Truthfully, between the two of them, they had more than enough money to throw a lavish wedding with 300 people. Jack just hated when someone wanted to know more about his past. He’d been with Jordan for almost a year and still hadn’t introduced his fiancé to his mother. She talked to his father briefly when she mistakenly answered Jack’s cell while he was sleeping. But their conversation was nothing to write home about. She didn’t even think Jack told his parents he was getting married.

One time, in an attempt to get to know more about her future husband’s past, Jordan invited Ahlia out for lunch. She figured, since Ahlia was the one to get Jack to move to the city, she knew the secrets. Ahlia was just as tight-lipped as her best friend. Pretty much giving Jordan the word-for-word description of Jack’s life: His parents were teenagers when he was born. His dad had money. His mom was smart. The dad was asked to stay away from Jack. His mom was sent to boarding school. Jacked was shuffled from house to house so he wouldn’t go into foster care. He ended up living with his Uncle until he went to college. The end. But Jordan wasn’t happy with that. How was she expected to marry a man who was ashamed of his past? How was she supposed to trust someone who couldn’t trust her with his pain?

“FINE! FINE! You wanna be this person today, be that! I’m just trying to love you Jack. Don’t push me away like this.” She sat down next to him. He acted like she wasn’t there, signaling that he no longer wanted to have this conversation. He told her plenty of times that he didn’t talk to his parents and that was that. Jack stared at the start screen to his video game. Jordan sat for a couple seconds more. Jack said nothing. She started to collect her things hoping he’d ask her to stay. He didn’t, so she left without saying goodbye.

Jack felt awful being like this to his fiancé, but he could not bear the pain of bringing his parents back into his life. One day she’d understand that his parents were toxic, not fit to love someone that only wanted their love in return. Often, he thought about telling her the things he knew about his parents. But, Jordan was so pure and so innocent. She didn’t need the knowledge of that type of turmoil in her brain. He dealt with his demons on his own. Sometimes calling on Ahlia to lead him through the darkness.

As he was sitting on the couch, regretting his negative attitude, the phone rang. He looked at the screen, speak of the devil. It was his father, Dequan. Of course, it was time for his monthly phone call. He called Jack, once a month since Jack was in grad school. When Jack moved to Atlanta to attend Morehouse, he lived in the dorms for the first two years. But the lure of the Atlanta nightlife made him want to move off campus. He was tired of the university’s archaic rules and regulations, especially when it came to overnight guests.

At the time, Jack and his father were pretty cool. Jack would visit his father on the weekends if his father wasn’t flying out of town for work. The first six months in ATL were everything Jack wanted. He saw his dad all the time, his father gave him an allowance, he was killing his grades, and even doing a bit of party promoting. That’s why his late-night shindigs didn’t sit well with the campus administrators.  Jack played it cool not wanting to make too many waves with the university officials. After all, his father donated big bucks (no whammies) to the school. Eventually, Jack asked to live with his father. His father was more than happy to oblige.

Jack’s father, Dequan, was as polished as a new penny, never a hair out of place or a shoe un-shined. Tall and muscular, the two looked more like siblings than father and son. Dequan worked in finance too, starting with an internship as a bank teller and eventually moving through the ranks. He was the division coordinator for Colonial Bank Southeast with a fat salary that proved his knowledge and reputation in the banking world.

Jack thought about answering the phone. He thought about letting the incident go and inviting his father to the wedding. No. His heart couldn’t take it. Jack let the phone go to voicemail. He’d tell Jordan all about his parents soon, but not today. Jack continued to sit on the couch, the techno music of the video game played on a loop as it waited for Jack to push the start button. Jack let his mind wander back to that crazy night in Atlanta.

Jack had been dating a lovely little light-skinned girl from Clark-Atlanta. He had been living with his father for some time now. The couple went to Jack’s room to smoke a quick joint and have some fun before heading out for the night. Jack’s father never got married, but entertained plenty of women around the city. Jack was surprised his father didn’t have reputation, but handsome men tend to get away with a lot more than one might think. After a quick session ‘rub it down and smack it hard’ Jack’s girlfriend asked to get something to drink. Jack told her to hit up the kitchen and bring him something back too.

It took an abnormally long time for the young co-ed to return to Jack’s room. He threw on a pair of sweatpants to see what was keeping her. Jack was surprised to see his father standing over the petite young lady. He was looking at her sternly and almost spitting the words into her face. Jack stood off to the side trying to figure out the scene. He saw his father grab the girl’s arm tightly as she pulled away.

“I’m sorry Mr. D, I didn’t know. I really didn’t know he was your son.” Jack looked at the scene with confusion. He would get to the bottom of this. He went back to his room

The young lady returned with two large cups of apple juice. She acted like nothing had happened. Jack just stared at her, “Took you long enough.”

“Oh, your dad was out in the living room. He scared me. Y’all look just alike.” She took a big gulp of her juice hoping that Jack would stop the questions.

“He scared you, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I overheard your conversation. For real. How do you know my father?”

“I don’t know him. I just met him in the kitchen.”

“Don’t lie.” He wanted to knock the juice out of her hand, but didn’t want to have a cascade of stickiness all over his sheets. He turned his body to face her again, “How do you know him? Don’t lie!”

She could see the anger in Jack’s face and she already knew what Jack’s father was capable of. She sighed heavily. “He’s my manager.”

Jack looked confused, “You work at the bank?”

“Not exactly. But I work for your dad. He’s kinda like . . .” Her voice got so quiet Jack had to lean in to hear her speak, “. . . kinda like a pimp.”

At this point a parade of pandas could have done a two-step through Jack’s bedroom and he wouldn’t have been more surprised. This information was more than a little bit, “A pimp. Wait are you a fucking prostitute? I been boning a prostitute?!”

“NO. Not like that. I’m like an escort. I only go on two, maybe three dates a month and I don’t have to have sex with anyone. I just needed money to pay for school. My girl gave me your dad’s number. I met him at the bank, he told me I was pretty. Told me to meet him at this restaurant in Little 5 points and sent me on my first date. I made like $700 that night.”

“But my dad is one of the best in the business of finance. I just . . .” Jack was dumbfounded. He knew his father had money and connections in Atlanta but now he figured out why.

After the conversation with Lil Miss Clark-Atlanta, Jack never saw her again but went on to find out his dad wasn’t a good guy after all. He used his position of power to bring gullible girls into the sex work business. There were all types of powerful people using Mr. D’s ‘services’ and he leveraged that information, with his knowledge of finance and currency, to keep one foot in banking and one foot in the streets.

There was no way that Jack wanted that element at his wedding. He knew he would tell Jordan eventually, but she couldn’t know right now. He decided to call Ahlia to get her opinion. He felt himself slipping into darkness, and needed her bright light to pull him through.

[fabglance1]

#xd30 - Day 4 - RAIN

Jack and Ahlia were sitting in the car. They were in the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart facing the entrance of the busy store. Jack thought it would be fun for them to play their favorite game, “What About That Guy?” A game that can easily be described as ‘people watching’. By the second or third person, Jack and Ahlia would have tears in their eyes from the hilarity of their own stories. They were both good story tellers.

Tonight, Ahlia wasn’t laughing. She was barely looking at the people walking by. She was barely looking at Jack, although she could feel him peering at her from the driver’s side. She was sipping on her strawberry milk shake from Friendly’s, twirling the red straw in her hands. The fake crystals on her airbrushed acrylic nails cast tiny star-like reflections on the dashboard. She could hear Jack talking, attempting to make her laugh, but she was too deep in her head to respond. She let out an audible sigh.

Jack stopped talking. Playing with the zipper on his oversized Mecca jacket, he gazed out the window looking at the lights from a passing plane in the sky. Soon enough he’d be on a plane too, heading to Atlanta to attend Morehouse university on a full ride scholarship. Jack managed to get a 3.8 grade point average, scored very high on the SAT, and played basketball well enough to have recruiters coming to his games. He had his selection of schools, but thought attending his father’s alma mater would somehow bridge the gap in their relationship. Jack’s father lived in Atlanta and was ready to be in his son’s life. Jack was petrified. The least his father could do was write that sparkling recommendation letter and donate $10,000 to the HBCU. His ‘father’ had been absent since Jack was two years old.

Ahlia tried to sip the sweet milkshake, barely able to swallow the cold creamy confection. Strawberry Milkshakes used to be her favorite. Little cramps rippled through her abdomen, every so often, making her feel nauseated. The effects of the hydrocodone pill were making their arrival and she could feel a sleepy heaviness start to take over her body. She needed to go home to lay down, but she wasn’t ready to leave Jack. The too-friendly doctor at the clinic said she’d feel almost flu-like, for a couple of days, while her hormones straightened themselves out.

She hoped that she’d feel better sooner, rather than later, because she had to be ready for her graduation party. Her entire family would arrive to celebrate their pride & joy. Ahlia was the first person to go to college and on a full ride too. She decided to attend Fordham University, in New York City, to study Psychology. She wanted to be a therapist. Today’s episode would surely be something she’d use to treat her future patients. Her stomach cramped again and she let out a breath.

Jack didn’t know what to do so he pushed the button on the six-CD changer finding their favorite CD, Emotional by Carl Thomas. He skipped through to 'Summer Rain’ and let the lyrics play through:

I don’t mind if it rains forever Let it rain, rain, let it rain I said I don’t mind if it rains forever Let it rain, rain, let it rain …

This was the cd that got them in trouble in the first place. Ahlia remembered that Jack was so excited that Carl Thomas’ album had dropped. He was addicted to all things Bad Boy, as evidenced by his Puff Daddy inspired s-curl. He raved that “Puff finally produced some quality R&B and this dude was gonna be better than R. Kelly!” He was so excited. So Ahlia knew they’d spend the afternoon listening to Carl Thomas and attempting to study, while they let episodes of COPS play on mute.

However, this afternoon was different. When Ahlia arrived to Jack’s house he’d just gotten in a big argument with his uncle. Uncle Rob had been mad about Jack’s father coming back into the picture. He called Jack a fool for trusting some “rich nigga in a Mercedes, giving you music video promises.” Uncle Rob was hurt, feeling like Jack didn’t appreciate everything his uncle sacrificed to take care of the young boy. But Jack wanted to be around, at least, one of his parents. He accepted his father’s offer with no hesitation, still very appreciative of everything his uncle had done for him. But how much emotion could a 17-year-old boy present?

Storming outside, rain She keeps me home Quiet conversation makes me warm …

Ahlia sat at the desk in Jack’s room while Jack lay on the bed. His, already 6'2" frame, made the twin mattress look like kindergarten cot. She felt happy and sad for her friend. She knew how much Jack loved his uncle and how much he wanted to love his parents. Jack often asked Ahlia how it felt to have both parents at home, how did it feel to know they “really love you?” She’d often shrug. She didn’t know how to describe a feeling that seemed so normal to her. She could tell her friend was in pain because his usually very tidy room was littered with old candy wrappers, sneakers out of their boxes, and his clothes weren’t even hung up. She decided to start cleaning his room for him, hoping that would make him feel better.

“Is this Carl Thomas too? This song about the rain?” She asked, as she picked up a pair of Jordan’s and put the sneakers on a shelf.

“Yeah, its SMOOTH right? This is some grown-up music. This song is bangin!”

“Yeah, this is real nice. Ugh! You are making me a bad boy fan!” She faked a whine, knowing this was his favorite thing to talk about. She saw him sit up in the bed. She knew he was coming out of his funk.

“Man, listen! You KNOW you love Bad Boy! Without Puff where would music be right now? Bad Boy been holding it down since '92! Come on!”

“Jackie, we were 10 years old in 1992! Stop acting like you Funkmaster Flex or something!” She bent over laughing at her own joke

“Whatever!” Jack huffed as he reached for a bag of Cheetos sitting next his tiny bed.

In a sing-song voice Ahlia said, “Man! Give me some of them Cheetos!”

“Come get them! I ain’t yo slave! Shoot, you came in here with a strawberry milkshake and ain’t offer a nigga a sip! Why should I offer some of my Cheetos!” Jack chuckled, slamming a handful of cheesy snack in his mouth, yellow dust coating his fingers

Ahlia rolled her eyes, and cocked her head to the left. She knew this was Jack’s attempt to get her to come over to the bed. She walked over willingly, stopping to stand in front of him. She put her hand out, close to the family sized bag but not reaching in. This was the only time she could be taller than her friend as he sat on the bed looking up at her. She couldn’t help but to giggle, she loved him so much. She continued to stand as he put a Cheeto dusted finger in the loop of her jeans. He pulled her closer to him. She acted like she didn’t want to come.

So go ahead and make it rain You bring the sunshine back again So go ahead and make it rain Your tender touches wash away my rain …

She bent down and kissed his full lips. She could taste the salt from the snack as she went in for another. The hair from her ponytail tickled his cheek and he laughed. She laughed too. Her friend was happy again, for a while. Ahlia sat on the bed next to Jack. She took off her hoodie, to reveal a spaghetti-strapped tank top. Her perky breasts sitting high as she didn’t have to wear a bra in those days. She lay back and Jack lay on her chest.

“Man, am I wrong for this. Is my dad trying to play me? I shouldn’t move to Atlanta?”

“Dude! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Even if your dad is a dick, you still get to go to Morehouse. MOREHOUSE, my nigga! And it’s already payed for. Uncle Rob will get over it. You know he loves you.”

Jack knew Ahlia was right, but he still didn’t want his uncle to feel betrayed. He could smell the scent of Ahlia’s Victoria’s Secret body spray, she smelled like pears. It was his favorite. He began to kiss her neck. She caressed his strong back as he put his hand under her shirt, playing with her breasts. Ahlia knew where this was going. Just two months ago the friends had begun having sex almost regularly when Uncle Ron would go visit his lady friend. Ahlia’s parents never questioned her because Jack was like a second son to them and their daughter’s best friend.

“You got a condom this time?” Ahlia asked.

Jack paused, “No. I’ll just pull-out like I always do.” He continued to kiss her neck as he tugged on the zipper of her jeans. They hadn’t had an accident yet, even though Ahlia kept warning Jack to get condoms. He slipped his hand in-between her thick thighs. At that point it was a wrap, Ahlia was already caught up. She loved him so much. 

Sometimes I swear I hear her call my name To wash away the pain My summer rain …

Ahlia finally stopped baby-sipping the milkshake. She looked at Jack in the driver’s seat. She wanted to cry. He looked like he wanted to cry too. They both knew they had done the best thing for their lives. Two very smart kids on the way to college shouldn’t have a baby. Two very smart kids who made a bad decision. Two very smart kids who had full scholarships shouldn’t have a baby. Two very smart kids took the money from their after-school jobs and made a very smart decision. He squeezed her hand. They both stared out the window blankly. They wouldn’t have sex again, for a very long time. Carl continued to sing …

So go ahead and make it rain

You bring the sunshine back again …

[fabglance1]

#XD30 - day 2 - SUNDAY MORNING

CHAPTER 2

Ahlia rolled over slightly as the sun came into the room. She felt a familiar body next to her. It was Corey, her boyfriend. Corey raised his arm, ever so slightly, and Ahlia nuzzled herself into his nook. She loved that Corey always had a hint of motor oil smell mixed with his musky manly fragrance. She pushed her nose into his rib cage while mumbling, “Good morning sweets.” He grunted, “morning.” And squeezed the softness of her hip ever so slightly. Ahlia nuzzled some more.

Ahlia loved mornings like this. She didn’t have to get up to answer emails about The Foundation and Corey didn’t have to run off to the auto shop to deal with crazy customers. It was Sunday and Sunday was perfect.

She let her hand graze his soft yet muscular frame. Corey used to play football in college. He almost made it to the NFL but the crash of a helmet into the side of his knee killed those dreams. The muscles were still there, but a love for triple cheese quesadillas and Mexican beer, gave him a layer of life over his once, rock hard frame. Ahlia’s hand moved south, Corey perked up. The couple spent another hour in bed enjoying each others softness, smells, and moans. Sunday mornings were the best.

“Are we still doing game night, tonight, with Jordan and Jack?” Corey asked as he swung his long legs to the left side of the bed, “I know that’s your homeboy, but his wife is HELLA boring! I hope they invite some more people this time. Fun people! Not those corny lawyers that Jordan works with..” Corey laughed a little as he walked toward the bathroom.

“I guess,” Ahlia answered. But as soon as she heard Jack’s name, a flush came across her body. Her mind returned back to the last night at the networking event when Jack cornered her. She knew Jack wanted answers and knew Jack wanted a plan. But, Ahlia wasn’t ready to face the facts. To hear Jack confess his ‘love’ for her had sent her mind spinning. Was Jack really ready to ‘risk it all’ … this time?

Ahlia started making the bed as she heard Corey turn on the shower. After making the bed she walked across the room to check her phone. On Sunday mornings, Corey and Ahlia agreed to stay off of their phones: no answering texts, no facebook, twitter, or instagram. But she knew that she’d have a message from Jack and sure enough, there was a green bubble with the letter 'J’ in the center. She opened the message knowing that Corey was taking one of his famously long Sunday showers. Usually, she’d join him, but today it didn’t feel quite right.

Jack’s message was time stamped at 2:28am. She hesitated in opening, knowing it wasn’t a funny meme or a message about The Foundation or even a message asking about Game Night. Pressing her finger on the icon her screen brightened, loading the world’s longest text message:

“sorry. Sorry for questioning you yesterday, especially at the event. That was stupid! especially while Jordan was so close. But when I saw u I couldn’t help myself. U looked so good. I still remember how you smell … and how u taste. Sorry again. I shouldn’t text that but I won’t erase it either. Anyway. u were right. We can’t do that again. Ever. We have too much to lose. Jordan would be crushed and I’m sure Corey would kill me in my sleep. That nigga is crazy! Sorry. It was my fault. I pushed u. After all those years of us … anyway I’m sorry. U are happy with Corey and I am happy with Jordan. U are my best friend. Let’s keep it that way . Even tho u are the best I ever had. Sorry.”

Ahlia took a screenshot then deleted the text. Why did she want to cry? She knew that Jack was right, but her heart felt broken. Jack was her best friend. She never wanted to lose her best friend. They’d been through so much. Jack would always be her first and there was something about that nostalgia that she couldn’t shake. But, she loved Corey, there was know doubt.

She heard Corey turn off the shower as she swallowed back the knot in her throat; she would not cry. He opened the door an a poof of steam billowed into their bedroom. Corey looked luscious as the beads of water rolled down his forehead. He popped his head out and smiled, seeing the freshly made bed and his pretty girlfriend.

She smiled back and said, “Naw, we won’t be going to Jordan and Jack’s game night.”

[fabglance1]

#XD30 - day 1 - 'YOU CAN NOT'

CHAPTER 1

“Everyone will HATE US! We’d have to move! What would we do for work? How could we function? Everything we have built would tumble!” Ahlia whisper-screamed while standing in the crowded room. Her soft brown arms crossed tightly across her chest as her eyes darted from Jack’s face, to Jack’s wife’s gorgeous hair, to her own reflection gazing back at her from the marbled mirror at the bar.

The three were attending one of the those monthly, ‘fancy black people’ networking events.  The ones that fancy, young, up and coming, entrepreneur-type, black people attended. Attendees tended to pass out business cards that no one read, drink terrible white wine, and chat about who was building the biggest house in the newest ‘Lego Land’ looking subdivision in the city. Usually, Jack’s wife never attended these things. But Jack, Jack was ALWAYS in the mix. His job was to find these fancy-types and take their money. Jack was a fanatical financial whiz-kid. Jack was known for making something out of nothing. His charm, education, good looks, and suave stylings were highly sought after by these types.

Jack’s wife, on the other hand, she was the SOMETHING that Jack could never create. Jack’s wife, Jordan, was a beast in the courtroom - somewhat like her namesake was on the those 1990’s NBA courts. Wanting a boy, her dad was dead set on the name ‘Jordan’. So much so he had the crib in her nursery painted Chicago Bull’s red because he KNEW they’d have a boy. But, a little chocolate princess was born with the quietest cry the nurses had ever heard. One would never think that her calm, almost timid, personality would flip on its head once she put on her trendy wide frame glasses and stood in a court room.

When Jack first saw Jordan, his heart skipped. He knew he had to have her. Jack chased Jordan for six months before she agreed to go on a date and after three dates she knew that would be the man she’s marry. Jordan was tall, fit, and breathtakingly beautiful. Her green eyes sparkled even in a dark room and her chocolate skin, smooth from serums and “a gallon of water a day” (she’d quip to friends), was so gorgeous people often asked her if she was a model. But Jordan was never one to care about her looks. She loved three things: her father, her husband, and the law.

Jack on the other hand loved ‘things’ too. He loved his pretty wife, he loved making money, and he was in love with Ahlia. Ahlia and Jack were best friends. They grew up together. They met each other at the local community center when they were 10 years old. Ahlia was a chunky little girl who grew up to be a curvy young woman. As a young girl, Ahlia wore thick glasses, her shorts were always one-size too small, and her mom made sure that Ahlia’s very thick hair stayed in two very tight, very thick ponytail balls that sat precariously upon her head. They boys at the community center would often point and laugh calling her “Fat Mickey Mouse” until one day Jack told them to quit.

On that day Ahlia fell in love with Jack. Jack found a new best friend. They’d leave the community center every night, walking home together, talking about hip-hop, cartoons, and teen gossip. Jack would always make sure that Ahlia got to her house safely before continuing his walk to his own. Jack was Ahlia’s first kiss. Ahlia was Jack’s first confidant.  At the age of 15 the two were known to be a pair; where ever was one, the other wasn’t far behind. People often asked were they a couple. Jack would say that Ahlia was his best friend and nothing more. Ahlia would follow suit, knowing her heart broke every time she repeated the words.

At the networking event, Jack’s 6'5" frame was hovering over Ahlia. The pair had smuggled themselves in a corner. The smell from Jack’s Burberry cologne was dancing in Ahlia’s nose as jack whisper-screamed how much he loved her.

“Ahlia, you can’t tell me you don’t feel this passion,” he said as his eyes darted across the room to check where his wife was standing. Jordan was trapped talking to the Smith brothers, known for their corny jokes and even worse business sense. “Last week was not just a mistake, it was what was supposed to happen for the last 10 years! You can’t tell me that you don’t want me. I won’t accept it”

[fabglance1]

“I've got the stuff that you want I've got the thing that you need I've got more than enough To make you drop to your knees 'Cause I'm the queen of the night!” #WhitneyHouston - - - - Shot by: @fabglance, 2017 Concept: #Fabglance Makeup: @luv.twentytwo (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpmTmFjl7C3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9q8kstd9oyew

[fabglance1]

It’s ok to feel a ‘way’ just don’t stay there too long: http://fabglance.com/2018/05/09/motivation-its-okay/