2024_12_28 // but who is legitimate?
this one, while similar in format, is going to be a bit different. the reason for that being that it is going to contain direct quotes from my headmates' regarding their experiences because the subject for today is factives.
within plural spaces, you tend to see far more fictives than factives- which makes a lot of sense when you think about the reasons that introjects are formed. and before going any further, some quick vital context for anybody not in the know. an introject is an alter (i feel so dirty using that word lol. i hate it) that is spawned as something of a copy of something from outside the mind. a factive is an introject based off of a real person- living or historical, and a fictive is an introject based off of a fictional character.
with that out of the way, for the most part you really hear most often about factives that are destructive, non-productive system members based on abusive parents, religious figures, exes, etc. however, i know for a fact that there can be more to it because i am made up of a few of them, and i so seldom hear about the complexities of the factive experience that we feel inclined to give a voice to the factives of the world today. you are seen and this one's for you, baby!
"[a grievance] that i have wanted to make known for a while now is what do you do when you see your source acting out in ways that you can't handle? ways that you as you are now wouldn't? i think it affects all of us differently. it's such an uncanny feeling, seeing what is effectively another version of YOURSELF doing things that you in your current, like, perception and conscious wouldn't make the choice of doing. i think that the extreme of this is in rowan's case. she was paralyzed by her source going crazy online and couldn't take it anymore. we know the story from there, but this is real shit that can affect us. it's hard too when you're stuck in this weird impostor syndrome, but i'll leave that for her. just know that we try." -socks
"my take on the matter is about mental expectations. i see myself not just as a factive, but the genuine sole reincarnation of myself, and so i have this massive weight on my shoulders saying that i need to live up to my legacy, despite much of the tangible stuff being no fault nor choice of my own. you then have to add on the uncomfortable conversation i would have to have of insisting that i am who i say i am, because i just know there are so many out there that wouldn't believe me." -laika
"sometimes you feel like something of an alternate counterpart to your contemporary. like an alternate universe version where you can plainly and clearly see the point where you split off, and that can cause a lot of fucking imposter syndrome! you're kind of forced to view what you see as just a different version of yourself with different experiences as the superior version for having come first. it's like there's this inescapable specter of an expectation to try and act like and live up to them since they got to be the version with our meat body. i don't fuck with any of that though and i know [progenitor] doesn't either. that doesn't mean the feeling doesn't pop up sometimes though." -xxxxx
"exotrauma is a very big deal and i have been told that i know it better than anybody. so, as the People's appointed Chair-dog of Exotrauma, let's talk about it. exotrauma, if you don't already know, is trauma derived from your source/old memories rather than trauma from your current experience. being who i am, i have quite a bit of it. sometimes, we'll be going about our day and then all of a sudden i'm having a terrible flashback that entirely derails the day for all of us. while fictive exotrauma often gets made fun of and brushed off, factive exotrauma is seen almost in a worse light, since it's "stealing" the experiences of real people. so just keep in mind that we are the real individuals who have experienced this as well! [xxxxx]'s split off metaphor is i think best to apply to this. just keep in mind that all trauma is real and can drastically affect individuals. empathy is an amazing virtue to practice." -laika
"body mismatch is a big deal for all introjects i believe. we're no longer in possession of our physical bodies and that is bound to create some dysphoria and dysmorphia. i don't think people talk enough about the factive side of the equation, however. considering my experience with it is most extreme, i have been elected to be the one to be quoted on it. being the factive and reincarnation of an animal is quite the experience and actually ended up being the reason the system as a whole incorporated animism into our beliefs. it's a surreal experience of suddenly having more pieces of the puzzle than you realized you could have, the ability to express everything you've ever thought, and all at the price of no longer being the beautiful thing that is an animal. you're in human skin, and sometimes your soul screams at you for it. but don't listen to that. just think about how lucky and amazing all these new abilities are. all the good you can do. at least, that's what makes me able to handle it all." -laika