8- are they naturally compatible or do they make an effort to try and understand the other
12- would you consider them to be functional or dysfunctional
19- where do their morals and ideals align and where do they diverge? are they attuned or in conflict ethically
8- are they naturally compatible or do they make an effort to try and understand the other
If Mahalla were a spirit, she'd be Curiosity to Solas' Wisdom. They are so compatible, and they have been from the very start. It's like Solas says: he met her and felt the whole world change.
That's not to say they don't have to work to understand each other. After all, they come from two very different worlds, even if Mahalla doesn't realize exactly how different until Trespasser. They spend all of Inquisition trying to figure each other out, and they couldn't be more delighted to do so. It's practically foreplay for them.
12- would you consider them to be functional or dysfunctional
It takes time, of course, but they're surprisingly functional considering the everything about their relationship trajectory. They understand each other so well and respect each other so highly that they can overcome the ten years of cat-and-mouse fighting.
19- where do their morals and ideals align and where do they diverge? are they attuned or in conflict ethically
Veilguard is kind of a significant divergence lol
For the most part, though, they're very aligned. They both value truth, learning, justice, and the importance of preserving history. They're both dedicated to the welfare of the elven people and recognizing the personhood of all kinds of people, especially the ones (like spirits) who usually aren't treated as people. They both feel strongly that they're right in their opinions, but they're both still open to change. They both believe in Wisdom and Curiosity and Compassion and Pride. They both believe in setting an example for the people who follow them.
Where they differ is in their methods and interpretations. Mahalla doesn't believe in the ends justifying the means; she believes in practicing what you preach. When Solas falls too deep into Pride and fully embodies the Dread Wolf, he believes he knows what's good for other people better than they do; Mahalla vehemently rejects that idea. When Mahalla falls too deep into pride and embodies Varric's "Spitfire" nickname for her, she becomes impulsive and jumps to (negative) conclusions about other people; Solas is frustrated by this. (His comment about his younger self being "hot-blooded and cocky, always ready to fight" speaks volumes here.)
With how proud (positive) Mahalla is of her Dalish heritage, you'd think their biggest point of contention in Inquisition would be Solas' dismissal of the Dalish. Sure, it's an early source of friction in their relationship, with both their individual expressions of pride (negative) butting heads, but they actually resolve it fairly quickly. When Mahalla takes a second to calm herself down and ask her favorite question ("Why?"), and they're able to explain their perspectives, it helps them understand each other, and it's hard for Mahalla to hold a grudge against something she understands. Plus, her appeal to Wisdom goes a long way to soothing Solas' hurt Pride and making him more receptive to appreciating what the Dalish did manage to accomplish.
Their two biggest Solas Disapproves moments pre-breakup are actually over forgiving the Wardens and helping Cole become more human. In both cases the problem is that Mahalla doesn't have all the information, and Solas isn't able/willing to share it with her. (There's also Mahalla's decision to drink from the Well, but that one is a foregone conclusion bc there's no way she's letting anyone but a Dalish elf do that, no matter the consequences.)
Mahalla wants to give the Wardens a second chance, ironically because they were operating on incomplete information and took steps to correct themselves when they learned the truth. She knows Solas objects to them binding demons, and so does she, but she also knows there's more to his disdain for the Wardens, and not having the full picture bugs her.
With Cole, Mahalla understands where Solas is coming from... or she thinks she does. She doesn't have the Solas/Mythal (romantic or platonic or secret third thing, it's all the same) context to know how deeply personal a spirit becoming human (or elven) is to Solas, and how terrified he is that Cole/Mahalla (platonic) will repeat all their mistakes. All she knows is that Cole wants the catharsis of revenge, and she wants to give it to him. He wants to take that step, just like he wanted to help og!Cole by becoming him, whereas (Mahalla doesn't know) Solas didn't want to take on a body.
In this case, she proves Solas' fears unfounded without even trying. Mahalla listens to Cole. She loves and accepts him as he is, both before and after he becomes more human, and she would have done the same if he'd become more spirit instead. She takes the time to understand him and help him with any problems he encounters.
(I love both human! and spirit!Cole, so I'm not trying to say human!Cole is the "correct" or "better" choice or anything; I just roleplayed Mahalla's decision based on how she felt in the moment, and in the moment she wanted to throw a fireball in that templar's face. It actually kind of surprised me when I got to that point and realized Mahalla "#2 Spirit Fan" Lavellan (not #1 only bc Solas takes that prize) wasn't going to go the spirit!Cole route.)