Ughhh woke up this morning with a knot in my throat hot tears on my face. FYI Long post alert....2019 was a year of great loss & painful disappointments. Pictured is my mom, my son & I. For the past 4 months my Brandon has been home awaiting his next assignment with Carnival Cruise line where he's a singer and has been for the past few years. It's been years since he's been home for the holidays & home this long. Its been awesome having him home. He has been a source of great strength for me these past 4 months. Today he leaves for 6 to 7 months to go back to doing what he loves. Back singing on Carnival. Today..... the day 1 year ago my sweet mommy transitioned to heaven. I have been an emotional mess for days. Yes I am happy for my son. However I will miss his quiet strength that he has brought to all of us but especially me. Thank you son! I love you so much and I am very proud of you!! Go continue to be great @actorbmf It's been a year now mom. So much has happened since you left good & bad. These past few months I have so badly needed to hear your voice. There was always something about you saying "I know that I know God is gonna work everything out" you would say that with such unshakable faith I knew it was going to be ok. God has had to remind me though you did tell me that, on that day in October 2018. I have tried hard to hold on to that sound of faith in your voice as you told me that day not to worry Tony will be fine, not to let depression be my friend, write the book, preach the gospel, prophecy, worship Him! Do not quit! I miss our talks more importantly I miss you so very very much. We are doing well though better than I thought. Rachelle has done amazing job leading us. Not a day has gone by when we have not thought about or talked about you mommy. Your strength has shown up in each of us & we are moving forward in victory. We just want to make you and daddy proud. ❤ Going forward I choose not to look at this day with profound sadness but as a day you were planted as a seed & we your children both natural & spiritual are now the fruit of. I LOVE you more than words can convey. ❤❤❤ #myloves #familyfirst #faithis #blessed #missyoueveryday https://www.instagram.com/p/B654AbeB67b/?igshid=1qf8xpzza18x4