#fake services

[yugirinomiko]

Ark 330.2: Left. Up. And Blackout.

“… and one final thing about ARK: Survival Evolved. It’s weird but i owe it to this messy little bug fest of a game that i finally got my mouse tuned up and working the way i wanted it to. For ages. And it’s all because of the disturbing fact that there’s this patch out now, for that game. And they named that thing 330.2. And you must believe me when i say that ARK 330.2, is truly unique in its bugginess. It’s kinkily, ridiculously, authentically unbelievable.

“I have no idea how it does this, and i have no doubt in my mind that anyone will find it hard to believe… i couldn’t believe it myself in the beginning but it's true: ARK 330.2 for Mac, blesses you with a spasmodic, irresistible urge to look up, and turn left. Looking down or turning right is a thing of the distant past now, no longer anchored in the realm of motoric reality. If you try resist the left-up-istic urge of 330.2, ARK is hell-bent to show you that the time has come for you to change your ways. That verily, left and up is the true and only, way. And if you give in to the spasm and give yourself up to the urge, you will find yourself staring right into the hypnotic emptiness of the sky which, since ARK 329.9, has gone utterly, irrevocably, eternally black. 

“I don’t even want to imagine what kind of unspeakable act someone has to commit, to work such an outlandish, obsessive-compulsive, mouse-molesting combination of bugs and glitches into a code.”

— The Notorious S.L.K., Project Team Chat June 19, 2021, 1:42 AM

[earlybullbarsus]

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