#fake wine

[dravencrow127]

Joe Biden Inauguration: January 20, 2021

[winewankers]

Last month we placed the fake wines coming out of China under the microscope, asking our followers if they could spot the two fakes from the real deal. Alarmingly, very few people could tell the difference. Fake wines are a big concern for all wineries, and not just Australia’s most iconic brand Penfolds, according to fraud experts, 20% of all wine currently circulating the globe is fake.

With that in mind, I reached out to Australia’s Scott Evers of www.wineauthentication.com.au help us understand the world of counterfeit wine. Scott is one of only eight people globally  to be mentored by the world’s leading wine fraud expert, Maureen Downey. When fully qualified, Scott will become a TCM Master and Licensed Wine Authenticator. With Maureen’s unparalleled training backing him up, Scott offers this invaluable advice every winelover in the world should heed.

Drew (Wine Wankers): How prevalent are fake wines these days?

Scott Evers: 20% of all wine currently circulating the globe is fake (which is in line with all luxury goods). This is actually a conservative figure and the number is growing each year. It’s not just rare wines that are counterfeited, many more ‘commercial’ wines are now also being counterfeited.

Drew: What’s the easiest way to tell if a wine is fake?

Scott: A bad fake is obvious on first look…. Poor print, wrong paper, misspellings, missing info etc. ‘better’ fakes require experienced authenticators to examine bottles more closely.

Drew: Which wine is the most forged in the world?

Scott: For older wine, the most counterfeited producer is between DRC & Petrus, but Lafite and d’Yquem are up there as well. For a particular bottling of wine, 1945 Mouton is probably most counterfeited. In Asia, Penfolds Grange and Bin 707 are the most highly counterfeited, along with Lafite. The counterfeit trend today is for more current vintages and recent releases of very high-end Burgundy and Bordeaux.

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Drew: Is it easier to forge wines these days with the advent of digital printing?

Scott: Yes of course

Drew: What are the top tips for buying genuine wine?

Scott: I have a number of tips but most of it is common sense

Purchase direct from the producer;

Only purchase from merchants who have zero history of selling counterfeits;

Only buy from vendors (auction houses, retailers etc) who can prove the stories of provenance they are telling or have trained authenticators either directly employed or who are a third party consulting to them. (Remember a piece of paper claiming provenance can easily be counterfeited too and this generally is NOT enough proof!);

Only buy wines that have been formally authenticated and registered in the Chai Wine Vault block chain as this guarantees the provenance for the lifetime of that bottle.  Also, look at who merchants are associated with and the company they keep. People who stand alongside merchants/people that knowingly sell counterfeits is a cause for alarm.

Drew: Why is Maureen Downey the world’s best wine fraud expert?

Scott: Many reasons, but this will give you the best info on her https://www.winefraud.com/about-us/team/maureen-downey/. [You cannot cut and paste this exert unfortunately]

Drew: What’s one secret that she’s taught you that you were blown away by?

Scott: That most infamous wine counterfeiters (Rudy Kurniawan etc) unknowingly leave a mark/footprint on their work that is evident across all of their counterfeits. So, experienced authenticators often ascertain as to where/who that fake has come from once they stumble across that common mark.

Drew: What kind of wine are counterfeiters putting in the bottles?

Scott: It varies. Some use other, lesser vintages of the same wine. Some use a combination of cheap wines and flavour additives. Some use a blend of other valuable, but certainly lesser than the bottle they are purporting to represent as authentic. Here are a couple of specific examples that Maureen Downey has come across – I.e. – Marcassin Pinot Noir + other wine, for 1945 DRC Romanee-Conti. Or Duckhorn merlot + Liberty Bay Cellars merlot, + something old for 1940’s/50’s Pomerol. One important point to note is that an unsuspecting buyer does not know what is in a counterfeited wine. This is scary when you consider there are cases where people have died from drinking counterfeited wine! I’ve had very wealthy businessman say to me “oh well, even if it’s a fake wine our VIP guests at the table will see this DRC bottle as being authentic, its more about image and impressing our clients so we will enjoy drinking the wine regardless” – You could imagine the look on their faces when I tell them the story of people dying from drinking fake wine!

Drew: Do you ever use a Coravin to test a wine to see if it’s the real deal – and if so, does it decrease the value of the wine or increase because tasting reveals the quality if good [note: Coravin is a wine preserving system that inserts a needle into the top of allowing wine to be extracted from a bottle without uncorking – it replaces the wine with an inert gas]

Scott: No never, and this is a very important point – Taste is not a measure of authenticity. No one can taste for authenticity. If they could, convicted counterfeiters like Rudy Kurniawan, Hardy Rodenstock, Kahled Rouabab, and Alexandre Lubov etc would not have been able to be so prolific! And yes – piercing with a Coravin destroys the value. Sadly, it is also now a counterfeiting technique by which people drain and refill bottles! Also, again reiterating my point above, you do not know what has been put in a counterfeit bottle of wine, so I for one would certainly not want to taste it if there were red flags to its authenticity.

Drew: Which wine brand has the best security measures in place to stop counterfeiters?

Scott: Ha, the ones counterfeiters do not know about! Maureen and all trainees are abundantly protective of the information we know, and as mentioned Maureen is teaching the very small group of TCM Certified Authenticator trainees (myself included), about the measures producers are using to counter fraud. If we make that public, it is a huge disservice to the producers we are trying to assist! In general, what I can say is that many producers layer anti-fraud technologies, and do not rely on one thing to protect them.

Drew: What’s an average day for a wine fraud investigator look like?

Scott: Not as glamourous as some people may think! Long hours, hard, exhausting and repetitious work, often dirty… but also intriguing, fascinating and you get to meet many fellow wine lovers and incredible cellars around the world! There is a lot of paperwork and repetition required for formal authentication of wines (and sadly not enough drinking), so it’s not all glamour and romance!

Drew: What are some of the tools of your trade?

Scott: Lighting, magnification, measuring, cutting, cleaning, photography…..and a deep knowledge of wine, producers, packaging, technologies/changes, classification systems, food and beverage laws in respective countries, forensic techniques etc

Drew: How expensive are you to hire?

Scott: I am not yet fully trained, so am not yet taking clients for authentication and charging yet…. It is currently being worked out in our business model, but it will be in line with what Maureen and her company charges. I will be offering many different services at different price points. My company called Wine Authentication is registered and we have a website www.wineauthentication.com.au, however I will not start taking clients until I am TCM Master Authenticator qualified and licensed.

Drew: Have you ever been wrong?

Scott: I haven’t started ‘formally’ authenticating yet. That said, I am learning from the best in Maureen Downey who to date has not been proven wrong! The TCM Formal Reporting Methods we use are thorough and exhaustive. We use a 90+ point system to authenticate each bottle, along with other inspection methods required in a laboratory.

Drew: Do you offer a money back guarantee – if so, how does that work?

Scott: Authentication is an art, not a science. I will offer my professional opinion of authenticity. Each client will be presented and agree to a personalized/tailor-made job contract. What I will do is assure clients that I will render findings that I have formally prepared to defend in a court of law, for insurance purposes etc if required. It is our expertise and the rarity of the skill set that our clients are getting.

‘20% of all wine in the world is fake’ – this expert’s guide will save you a fortune Last month we placed the fake wines coming out of China under the microscope, asking our followers if they could…

[unclelanwinetrip]

谁打翻了波尔多的“醋”

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[dogwoof]

Official trailer for Sour Grapes

[ultimategaydisaster]

does anyone else ever put apple juice in a wineglass and pretend it’s wine just to feel fancy

[iamlamour]

Armed with blue lights and razor blades in her toolkit, Maureen Downey has become a top wine fraud investigator, helping to rid the wine industry of counterfeit and stolen wine. Yes, wine crime is a thing. Apparently, up to 20 percent of wine sold in the world is either stolen or fake. 

[journeymcguire]

Your friendly neighborhood NON-ALCOHOLIC WINE REVIEW

Recently I made the decision to take a hiatus from wine drinking because I'd heard stories of others losing all kinds of weight by cutting out alcohol. Because I really, really like wine, I decided to give some of the non-alcoholic varieties a shot so I wouldn't have to completely suffer.

So far I've tried five different kinds and, because I'm awesome and I love you, I'm saving you the time and money by providing a thorough review of my fake wine experience.

ARIEL CHARDONNAY

The first wine I tried was the Ariel brand Chardonnay. My husband found this at the local Twin Liquors and I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. With only 45 calories per 8 ounce serving, I was pretty sure this was going to be a winner. Plus Ariel described it as having a "distinctive combination of buttery apple and butterscotch combined with a toasty French oak bouquet". YUMMY!

Upon my initial swallow of this wine, however, none of these descriptions came to mind. Instead, it tasted more like the bitter tears of starving babies with the nutty finish of death and despair.

To be more specific, and literally speaking, if I had poured a glass of chardonnay one month ago, left it out on the patio table in the rain, then allowed the sun to beat down on it to finish it off, the Ariel Chardonnay would be the result of that.

Ariel says to try it with spaghetti carbonara, mango mahi-mahi, sautéed scallops, or crispy duck. If I were to pair it with anything, it would be a life ending handful of Xanax.

Moving on.

ARIEL CABERNET SAUVIGNON

After the Chardonnay experience, I was very hesitant to try the next wine my husband picked out. I wept silently as he enthusiastically urged me on to taste the Ariel brand Cabernet Sauvignon.

After wiping the tears from my eyes, I was able to make out that this was an "oak-aged Cabernet Sauvignon (with) aromas of black currants, cherry, blueberries and chocolate, with soft tannins and a dry finish". At 52 calories per 8 ounce serving, you're still looking at far fewer calories than regular wine, and if you throw up afterward it's zero! It's always important to look on the bright side of all things.

My first taste of this wine was far more pleasant than dying babies. In fact, it was actually very nice and didn't necessarily taste like it was non-alcoholic. When I had my friends try it, they didn't seem to notice that anything was missing either. I liked it. I drank the shit out of that stuff, and I would do it again.

Ariel recommends trying this with manchego, carne asada, Texas chili, or wood-fired pizza. For this wine, I would choose to live another day.

FRE MERLOT

I decided to stop at the grocery store and see if they carried the Ariel brand wine. They didn't, but they did have the Fre brand Merlot. After a decent Cabernet Sauvignon experience, I found myself looking forward to my first non-alcoholic Merlot and another company's take on alcohol removed wine.

This wine weighed in a little heavier at 70 calories per 8 ounce glass, but I wasn't too worried about that. After all, "with its plush, luxurious taste, and gorgeous garnet color, (it) delivers plenty of style and grace. With seductive black plum aromas and soft cherry and spice flavors, (it's) velvety smooth, with a full, rich finish—a classic beauty". After reading that, I just wanted to make out with the damn thing. My husband interrupted the whole affair by tapping my shoulder, demanding that I quit french kissing the bottle and take a swig for God's sake.

When I did just that, I suddenly felt like a creepy pedophile. I hadn't been making out with seductive and luxurious Merlot at all! I'd been making out with children's grape juice! I called my son over to take a sip. With the discriminating palate of an eleven year old, he described the wine as "unsweet grape juice, tastes like dooky". Dooky, indeed. Unsweet dooky.

Fre recommends pairing this wine with herb-crusted lamb chops, hearty stews, juicy hamburgers, pizza and movie night. I paired mine with the dumpster.

I do not recommend this Merlot, for it is yucky.

Next.

FRE RED BLEND

Because stopping at the grocery store is on my way home and the liquor store isn't, I decided to give the Fre brand another shot with its Red Blend. If I could give Ariel another try after that near death experience of mine, I could certainly do the same for Fre. Sometimes second chances are good.

After having been burned with that fucking Merlot, it was hard to just put my heart out there and trust again. Like the Merlot, it too was 70 calories per 8 ounce glass. My husband gave me the pep talk, told me to quit acting like a faggot and drink the damn wine.

Fre claimed that this wine "offers a deep ruby color and ripe, black cherry scented aromas. Smooth and rich, it offers plenty of bright, grape, and cherry fruit with an intriguing smoky flavor. (It) ends with a long, fruity, lingering finish". I must admit, I was slightly fearful of that lingering finish if it were anything like some of the others.

I decided to just rip the band-aid and take a big swallow. To my delight, I didn't die and no one told me to walk toward the light. Instead, in this Red Blend I found yet another reason to live, right behind kittens and payday.

This wine made me want to move to a cabin in the woods, sit by the fire and tell charming stories of that time I found a non-alcoholic wine that didn't make me want to succumb to Tuberculosis.

It's lovely and I recommend it.

FRE BRUT

Last on my list is a little something I picked up from a different liquor store on New Year's Eve. The Fre Brut is non-alcoholic champagne type stuff, and is described as follows:

"From the cascades of tiny bubbles to the effervescent fizz in the glass, our alcohol-removed sparkling wine makes any occasion feel a little more special. A steadily ascending stream of bubbles rises in the glass, releasing a fragrant bouquet. Green apple and ripe pear aromas tickle your nose, while crisp flavors of apple and strawberry delight your palate. Our Brut is beautifully balanced with a pleasantly dry, refreshing finish."

I found this description to be somewhat misleading. In fact, I plan to submit my prose to Fre to replace this bullshit description. What it should say is this:

"The cascades of tiny bubbles are like a motherfucking awesome bomb went off in your mouth. The crisp flavors of badassery and I can't believe it's not wine will easily trick your friends into thinking they're actually boozing it up. This is a no shit winner and is the reason I never actually have to drink alcohol ever again."

I've gone through no fewer than ten bottles of this shit. It's 90 fat-ass calories per 8 ounce glass make it totally no better than wine, but love is blind. Plus you feel all classy and shit, with all those bubbles. People think you're rich. Buy this now.

As usual, feel free to leave a comment and as always, you're welcome.

[motherlyasfuck]

Kicking My Feet Back

I've entered into that stage of pregnancy where I just don't give a fuck anymore. I worked late last night so I didn't go to church this morning. I slept in, snuggled with the cats and let the baby kick at me for as long as she wanted. Sometimes the downtime is just so grand. I also had another Trailer Park Boys-related sex dream last night, only this time I totally got to blow Julian and then persuaded Ricky to let me stay in his trailer in exchange for sexual favours. Because I guess that's just how preggo-dream Rebecca likes to roll. On the roster for tonight: fake wine and a shitty grocery store strudel while having a bath.