The Wine Wankers

Smile :) you've tripped in the vines of the Wine Wankers, enjoy our journey as we untangle the jargon in search of good wine. Australia's #1 wine blog.

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A great collection of wine infographics

A great collection of #wine infographics

Here’s a collection of wine infographics that have come our way recently. Enjoy and be edumacated in wine!

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We drank a $50 bottle of wine that was open for 9 months, and this $3 gadget made it drinkable

We drank a $50 bottle of wine that was open for 9 months, and this $3 gadget made it drinkable

Yesterday I drank a bottle of red wine that I opened 9 months ago – and it was still fresh as a daisy! How can this be?

You know that thing called left over wine – yeah, we don’t either. But just say you did. If you leave it for more than a day, it’s gonna start to deteriorate as oxygen starts to change the wine’s flavour profile. After a week, it’s probably going to become undrinkable. And if…

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Bloody hell – how on earth did we get this far! Today marks the fifth birthday for the Wine Wankers, and from both Conrad and I (Drew), a big thank you for hanging out with us and talking shit about wine on twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google +, LinkedIn, and here!  We truly believe we have the best job in the world.

If you’re intrigued about how on earth we got here, you can reminisce with last year’s blog post where Conrad explains all.  Over the past year we’ve travelled to some amazing wine regions and made friends with some of the coolest winemakers on the planet who also share our no bullshit passion for wine. Running The Wine Wankers is a big beast, and considering both Conrad and I have full time jobs as well as managing five social media accounts and a blog, please excuse us when go missing for a coupe of days – we’re earning a living!

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But rather than boring you with more of our story and all the expensive booze we drink on a daily basis, let’s celebrate! It’s freaking hot in Sweden (where I live at the moment) and I need something really cold and lots of fun to drink – and is cheap to make!

Frosé, Friesling and Pinot Freezio

Last year’s hot trend was the Frosé, however every single one I tried was lacking a punch. They were too sweet and two dimensional. The Wine Wankers believe supercharging your Wine Slushies with a fortified wine is exactly the best way to survive summer.

Tips for making the perfect wine slushie 

freeze your wine into ice cubes the night before if you don’t want to dilute your slushie with ice!

Experiment! Use your wine as a basis and then super charge it with a hefty swig of an appropriate fortified wine. Examples of fortified wines include any kind of vermouth, Port, White Port, Campari, Aperol, Lillet etc. You can even throw vodka in if you want – it’s a birthday party after all, and mum won’t smell it on your breath later!

Frozen fruit is your friend! Not only will it not dilute your drink like ice, it will add another layer of flavour

Use a high speed blender so the slushie mixes nice and fine

Make sure you balance the sweetness of your wine slushie with lemon or lime juice

Have sugar syrup on hand in case your slushie is too tart

Add herbs such as mint or even sweet basil if you want to give your slushie and exotic touch

Don’t spend too much on the wine. The other ingredients and the icy cold nature of the slushie will negate any of the flavours you pay a premium for!

Try these simple recipes

Negroni Frosé – half a bottle of rosé, 60 mls of Campari, 60mls sweet vermouth, a handful of frozen strawberries, 45mls lime juice, 60 mls of sugar syrup.

Midsommar Friesling –  half bottle of Riesling, elderflower syrup/cordial mixed with water and made in to ice cubes (2 handfuls), 100 mls of white vermouth, 10 mint leaves, 60 mls of sugar syrup

Je suis Pinot Freezio – half bottle of Pinot Grigio, 100 mls of Lillet, lime juice, 60 mls of sugar syrup

      Happy 5th birthday to us! Let’s celebrate with Wine Slushies – Frosé, Friesling and Pinot Freezio Bloody hell - how on earth did we get this far! Today marks the fifth birthday for the Wine Wankers, and from both Conrad and I (Drew), a big thank you for hanging out with us and talking shit about wine on…

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As a former wine waiter (Sommelier/Somm) I know a thing or two about ordering wines in restaurants. First and foremost – don’t be scared of us, we only bite when you forget to tip  (only kidding, well, kinda).

Tip 1 – use your Somm

One of the biggest mistakes people make when going to fancy restaurants is not fully utilising their somm. There are many b

enefits in getting assistance from your somm. First and foremost, they know the intricacies of the food on the menu and how well they team with the wines on their list.

After all, they have taken quite a lot of time constructing that list, and they assembled it with the type of food they serve.  They’ll also be able to tell you about the wine’s history and personality.  And if you’re into trying an unusual wine, they can steer you in the direction of unique gems that will make your dining experience all the more exciting.

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Tip 2 – Think about food and wine matching and be accommodating

Whether you get help from the somm or not, when perusing the wine list, try and accommodate everyone’s food in the wine selection. If this is impossible because of clashing food styles, try ordering by the glass or buy a couple of bottles to drink over the course of the night.  If you land yourself in a restaurant where the staff are barely old enough to drink, let alone recommend a wine to go with your meal, try these pointers.

Find a link: Between the weight, flavour, texture or intensity of the wine, with that of the food. Poached fish for example is a very light and delicate dish, hence it deserves a light and delicate wine like Riesling. Similarly, a hearty winter stew will sit perfectly with a rich, tannic, full-flavoured red, such as a Shiraz.

Chilli can be hell to team with wine, but remember this. A fruity wine, with a touch a sweetness will tame the chilli heat.

Heavily oaked and tannic wines are terrible when matched with chilli or overly spicy foods. The tannins dry the inside of your mouth and expose you to a greater chilli onslaught, ouch!

If your dish is cream based, find a wine with a higher acid. The acid in the wine cuts through the oiliness of the dish to create a balance.

Tip 3  – taste the wine when offered

I know a few of you will cringe at the thought of having to taste the wine when it’s offered to you in the restaurant. Many of you probably think it’s a big wank, and to actually go through with the ritual makes you look like a big snob. Remember this – you are not being offered the wine to see if you like it.  So don’t say something like, “oh no, I’m sure it tastes lovely,” because at least five per cent of all wines sold with a cork in a restaurant are ‘off’.  This is your chance to weed out the bad ones.

You would hate to have your whole restaurant experience ruined because you decided to forego your right to test the wine.  These ‘off’ bottles of wine are known as being ‘corked’. As cork is a naturally occurring product, it can sometimes be tainted with a mould that can make the wine smell like wet cardboard (in the most severe cases). A slightly corked wine will merely lessen the wine’s fruit aromas. Either way, you should not be paying good money for this wine.

If you still feel a bit unsure about detecting a faulty wine, it’s perfectly acceptable to have the wine waiter smell the wine for you. Don’t feel embarrassed – it’s their job to look after your wine experience. If the wine is faulty, refuse it and order another one or chose a new wine altogether.

Tip 4 – Taste wines even under screwcaps

Many quality restaurants wines are now being served in screw cap bottles.  This is a godsend, trust me. This mere practice is almost eliminating faulty wines, delivering a perfect wine experience every time. So what do you do if you’re offered to taste a wine that has been bottled under a screwcap?  You still taste it because while the ‘corked’ element has now been eliminated, there could always be a chance the wine has other faults.

Screwcap are not 100 per cent perfect (the cork manufacturers are probably very happy to hear this).  They are a whole lot more reliable then cork however.  If the top of the screwcap is damaged in transport it will usually get a ding in it.  This can break the seal at the top of the bottle and let air in, oxidising your wine.  As a result, the wine will taste flat and dull.  This rarely happens however and can usually be detected just by looking at the capsule to see if it is in mint condition. You can also taste if the wine has been heat effected. This is when the wine has been ‘cooked’ in high heat during the transport or storing of the inwe. It can happen to both screwcap and wines under cork. Smooth and supple reds can become tangy – where tannins and acids become more pronounced. Fruit flavours can also suffer.

Tip 5 – it’s OK to pour your own wine

The simple answer is yes! There is no reason why you should miss out on drinking your wine merely because your waiter is not doing their job properly. Many restaurants are under staffed nowadays to cut mounting costs. It’s now acceptable in many establishments that they will open the wine for you and pour the first round. Then if they get the chance to further top the wine up during the meal, consider yourself lucky.  These restaurants will usually leave the wine on the table.

If you are at a swanky restaurant and the waiter has taken the wine off the table and either placed it in a bucket or on a side table, you have my permission to embarrass them if they forget to top up your glass.  If you cannot get anyone’s attention to pour your wine, wait for the manager to be in eyeshot, excuse yourself from your dinner guests, stand up, retrieve the wine and pour it yourself.  The manager will feel like they have the worse restaurant in the world and will offer you free desert and coffees.

If you don’t feel like being that dramatic (which is probably 95 per cent of you) walk up to the Manager and ask them to pour your wine because you feel like you are being neglected. If you do this, the manager will feel it is his or her responsibility for the rest of the night to ensure you have perfect service. Either way – you win.

Tip 6 – start with an aperitif

A pre-dinner drink has a purpose, believe it or not. It should be relatively ‘drying’, so that it sweeps away the flavours of the day and prepares your palate for the fantastic meal that awaits. That means ordering a dry vodka or gin Martini (it’s not wine, but I’ll allow it), glass of Champagne, dry white wine or dry Fino Sherry (don’t worry, drinking Sherry is cool again). So if you want to play by the rules, do not order that sweet cocktail I know you’re secretly craving! Save that for later at the bar.

The top 6 tips for ordering wine in a restaurant As a former wine waiter (Sommelier/Somm) I know a thing or two about ordering wines in restaurants.

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Is this the world’s best wine drinking chair? We say YES! If pouring a glass of wine seems like hard work - then you need to buy one of these amazing wine chairs.

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[GADGET REVIEW] We blew up a balloon inside a bottle of wine and guess what happened....

[GADGET REVIEW] We blew up a balloon inside a bottle of wine and guess what happened….

Why on earth would we do this? No, this is not another crazy party game we do after the third bottle of wine! We did this in the name of wine preservation. As you may know, a wine starts to oxidise and go bad the second you open it. It will still taste fresh after a day or so, but any longer than that it will start to taste dull, and after that – it’s Vinegar City, population: you! There are many…

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It’s The Wine Wankers annual Christmas gift buying guide for the person in your life who drinks wayyyy too much wine. Conrad and I (Drew) hate traditional Christmas gift guides, which is why you’ll find the unconventional, must haves, and freakin expensive #winegiftporn items up for grabs – how can you possibly go wrong?!

And if nothing here grabs your attention, you can check out last year’s here, and 2015’s list here!

Let us know which present you will be pestering your relatives for, in the comment section below.

Giant Prosecco Glass: ever wonder why they didn’t call this the ‘Giant Champagne Glass’? That’s because Champagne drinkers are classy and wouldn’t down 750mls of bubbles in 15 minutes – or would they? Buy it here. (£14.99)

Prosecco Pong – because playing Beer Pong is what you did in College.  You’re all grown up and classy now – but not ‘Champagne classy’!  Buy it here (£14.99).

ProntoBev:  will genius contraption that looks like a watering can will chill a whole bottle of wine in 30 freakin seconds!  Includes a built-in thermometer that lets you pour out your drink at the desired temperature. The only downside – this is a crowdfunded gadget and is not expected to ship until June 2018. Buy it here (US$99).

Dacor WineStation – if ever there was a ‘shut up and take my money’ wine present for Christmas – this has to be IT!!! This holds four bottles of wine and will keep them fresh for up to 60 days after opening. Furthermore, the wine gets dispensed at exactly the recommended temperature for the wine variety you are serving, AND, you can nominate how big you want the serving size – taste, half or full glass of wine. Yes this costs over $5,000 – but it’s Christmas! So it’s basically a bargain! If Dacor is reading this – can we pretty please have one!!  😉 Buy it here (US $5,649).

Winelover’s T Shirt: Unleash your inner pole dancing unicorn – buy it here (US24.95).

Unicorn Wine Holder – OK – did I miss a trend alert or something about mixing unicorns with wine?! It’s called the Wine Of Sacred Purity Unicorn Wine Holder. Whatever, I love it and this wins my Bargain Christmas Present of 2017 Award! Buy it here (US$19.95).

  Wine Beanie Bottle Stoppers: NO! These are not ribbed condoms sitting atop your bottle of wine. These are bottle stoppers in the shape of beanies, and they’re a perfect stuffing stocker for your aunt! Buy it here. (£7.50)

Mulled wine bikini wax: Here’s one for the hard to please ladies who love silky smooth, hairless legs! Why not buy her an appointment to have her legs taken care of with a mulled wine bikini wax. Infused with the festive scent of red wine, orange, cloves and cinnamon, the professionals say it has been developed specifically for wax virgins. Alongside the booze-themed ingredients, the wax also contains chamomile and aloe vera to calm and soothe sensitive skin. Buy it here. (from £19)

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The world’s biggest wine glass? If your New Year’s Resolution involves reluctantly cutting back your wine intake to one glass a day – you probably shouldn’t be buying this! Costco is selling what is arguably the world’s largest wine glass.  It holds 25 x 750ml bottles of the good stuff. Buy it here (£59.98).

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Wine fuelled Advent Calendars: These two boozy Christmas countdowns from ALDI and Iceland supermarkets contain 24 x mini bottles of red, white, rose and fizz, with everything from Merlot to Chablis. Both advent calendars total the equivalent of six full bottles. Buy it here (£ 49.99) and buy it here (£ 39.99).

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Champagne cork stool: Nothing expresses your love for the good stuff more than a solid brass, hand made stool (or side table) in the shape of a Champagne cork. I first discovered these in the guest house of revered Champagne producer Jacques Selosse -and have wanted a pair ever since. After much online research, i finally found where you can buy them. Also available in shiny black. Buy it here (£450).

We fell in love with the gold Champagne cork seat at Domaine Jacques Selosse, the region's most iconic Grower Champenoise. Do you like?! #Drew #wine #wwontour #selosse #wwchampagnetrip #champagne @champagnebureauaustralia @champagne #winelover

A post shared by The Wine Wankers (@winewankers) on Sep 28, 2015 at 10:19pm PDT

  Australian Gin Advent Calendar – last year we got excited because Aldi released a beer advent calendar for Christmas. This year, Australian craft gin is being put front and centre and we couldn’t be happier. You’ll get 24 x 50ml bottles of deluxe gin from Down Under’s best producers, who are renowned for using crazy native botanicals and everything in between. On top of this, there are tasting notes from the producers, a guide to making that perfect gin cocktail by The Martini Whisperer and a valuable surprise Christmas present. Buy it here (A$295).

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Wine bottle sweaters: If your family loves wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, then you’re gonna love these wine bottle sweaters.  Buy it here ($9.99)

Champagne Emergency Delivery Service: We love anything that combines the word ‘Champagne’ and ‘Emergency’ in the same sentence. Champagne suppliers The Finest Bubble have teamed up with London’s bicycle and motorcyle courier companies to offer consumers a two hour champagne emergency service this Christmas. With a choice of over 300 champagnes, this is the ideal service when you forget to buy someone a present and you need one delivered PRONTO! Buy it here.

Booze filled Christmas ornaments: FFS – what will they think of next. It’s a good thing they didn’t have these back in the 80’s, because I would’ve had a very different childhood (OK, maybe not that different, but more merry on December 25). But I digress. If the idea of having gin, whiskey and vodka filled Christmas decorations sets your tree on fire, you need this gift. Buy them here (£35.00).

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Chocolate wine: Yes, you heard me correctly. In 2017, Santa Claus will be bringing a delicious blend of fortified tempranillo wine influenced by chocolate essence. I haven’t tried it, but you know your Nan will love the flavours of velvety, smooth dark chocolate, which are complemented by rich, puckering fruit and hints of dried fig.  Buy it here (£9.99).

The 16 best Christmas gifts for wine lovers in 2017 It's The Wine Wankers annual Christmas gift buying guide for the person in your life who drinks wayyyy too much wine.

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The business behind Economy Class Wines

The business behind Economy Class Wines

Following on from our recent tips on which wine to choose while flying economy, we now pull back the curtain dividers to see how an airline chooses its Economy Class wines. Not all economy class wines are the same Many airlines take their wine selection process seriously, and for many others, it’s an afterthought. Generally speaking, budget airlines where you have to pay for your wine tend to…

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The three golden rules to drinking wine while flying economy!

The three golden rules to drinking wine while flying economy!

Just because you’re flying economy doesn’t mean your wine drinking has to be cattle class – if you follow these rules – you’re gonna be flying high! I fly a lot for work, and like most Australians, we are bullet proof when it comes to flying 24 hours to get anywhere decent in the world. For me, drinking wine on board serves two purposes – it tranquillises me so I can get a decent sleep, and…

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This wine glass holds 25 bottles - you won't believe how much it sells for

This wine glass holds 25 bottles – you won’t believe how much it sells for

If you’re trying to cut back on your wine intake to one glass of wine a day – look away!  Costco in the UK is selling what is arguably the world’s largest wine glass.  It’s costs £59.98 and it holds 25 x 750ml bottles of the good stuff. ‘I’ll just have half a glass tonight!’ At 118 cm tall (46 inches) this wine glass will tower over your children! As Babe Zaman, manager of Costco told The…

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I’ve always thought one of the toughest parts about cellaring is having shitlloads of wine at your fingertips and not being able to drink them until they’re absolutely perfect.  But what is perfect and when will you know?! What happens if you drink the wine too soon – it’s like murdering a child! Or what happens if you drink the wine after it’s passed it’s prime – it’s like trying to make-out with a senior, it’s lost all its vitality and it just tastes wrong! [sorry to all the seniors out there!]

What if I told you there was a miracle invention that allowed you to withdrawal wine from a bottle without taking its cork out. This means you can have a sneaky taste as the wine progresses through its ageing process. Furthermore – the wine that’s left inside the bottle won’t be exposed to the air and oxidise. Crazy, huh!

I’m not crazy because this invention already exists. [insert WOW sound effect]

For many wine geeks across the world who are already in on this mystical gadget, Coravin is something they’ve probably coveted from afar due to the high cost.

For these geeks, boy have I got news for you – CORAVIN NOW ALLOWS YOU TO REMOVE WINE FROM BOTTLES SEALED WITH A SCREWCAP (sorry for shouting – I got a bit excited then). This innovation is only available in Australia and new Zealand for the moment. It will launch elsewhere later in the year.

So how does it work?

A high strength needle pierces the cork (or the new Coravin screwcap – see picture) to draw out the wine. Inert argon gas is injected through this needle, which displaces the wine once you stop pressing the gas lever. Because there is a buildup of pressure inside the bottle, the wine flows through the needle and into your wine glass [see video].

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How Coravin Works for Screwcaps 

Grab your favourite bottle of expensive wine that’s sealed with a screwcap

Remove and discard existing screwcap

Immediately replace with Coravin Screw Cap

Push the hollow needle of the Coravin System through Coravin Screw Cap

Continue to use Coravin as if it was bottled with a cork.

After pouring, remove the needle, and the cork (or Coravin Screw Cap) will re-seal to protect the wine from oxidation.

The verdict – it’s expensive – but so is wine spoilage

Coravin costs around US$300 or (AU$565) and the argon gas cylinder refills are US$26 for three cylinders (one cylinder is enough to displace about 15 glasses of wine). The Coravin Screw Caps can be bought in Australia in packs of six for circa $50AUD. The caps come in ‘standard’ and ‘large’ to cope with the two main screw cap sizes. If you love cellaring wine and want a sneaky peak of your wines as they age – it’s definitely a must have. Im still yet to be convinced the Coravin screwcaps are worth the money. If you have a sneaky taste of 12 bottles in your collection, that’s an outlay of $100 – and you can’t reuse those screwcaps until you finish the bottle of wine.

A mini revolution for restaurants and wine bars

Coravin is fast becoming the go to tool for sommeliers in the world’s top restaurants and wine bars. Really expensive bottle of wine are now being offered by the glass (I’ve seen wines being offered for $100-200/glass – ouch). Some restaurants are now offering every single bottle of wine of their lists by the glass. Furthermore, Coravin allows the restaurant patron to have a taste of the wine before they buy a full glass, to prove the wine is still sound. Now that’s what I call service!

Are wine counterfeiters using Coravin?

While Coravin is a boon for people wanting a sneaky peak at their wine, I’ve also been told by wine fraud experts that counterfeiters have been able to use Coravin for their own evil deeds. Although how they are doing this is news to me and Coravin, as they say it is impossible to use the system to pump wine back into a bottle.

For more details: www.coravin.com

  Does the new Coravin wine preserving screwcap work? I've always thought one of the toughest parts about cellaring is having shitlloads of wine at your fingertips and not being able to drink them until they're absolutely perfect.  

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Who would buy a Nazi wine for £2000?!

Who would buy a Nazi wine for £2000?!

This wine makes me feel very uneasy, especially with what is happening in America right now. My friend who works in the Swedish wine industry was visiting a wine storage facility in Denmark today and came across this very rare wine. It was given by Hitler to his Generals as a gift to commemorate his 54th birthday. These 1.5L magnums are so rare, they almost never come up for sale and are valued…

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If ever there was a dream job, Andrew Roper from Wines to the Stars has got it.  If your idea of #wine nirvana is hanging out backstage with the world’s biggest musical artists while drinking the rarest and most expensive wines ever produced… Fuck it – you’re gonna hate this guy! 🙂

Drew, Wine Wanker: What does your job entail?  

Andrew Roper, Wines to the Stars: Taking care of touring artists and celebrities with their wines, spirits and special beverage requirements whilst on tour in Australia, NZ & through Asia, USA and Europe. My business looks after them with the design of their backstage ‘Green Rooms’ at venues they perform, as well as on their show-free days with private winery visitations and other wine and spirit related meals and events. We also take care of them with making sure they meet the wine people of Australia/NZ backstage to share their respective passions of wine and music/arts. We organise everything, from security, transport, private tastings and ongoing personal supply and wine cellar management to their home cellars. I like to call our services more a ‘Liquor Concierge’ rather than a Sommelier.

Drew: Who are some of the celebrities you’ve worked with

Andrew: Where do I start! Madonna & band, AC/DC, One Direction, The Eagles, The Rolling Stones, Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake, Billy Joel, Paul Stanley (KISS), Matthew Bellamy (Muse), Axl Rose and Frank Ferrer (GnR), The Beach Boys, Vivian Campbell & Rick Allen (Def Leppard), Jack White, Michael Schumacher, Marat Safin, Bryan Ferry, Robert Plant, Carlos Santana, Madness, Ben Harper, Disturbed, Culture Club, Florence and the Machine, Nana Mouskouri, Drake,…shall I keep going?

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Drew: Who has the most educated/enviable palate when it comes to wine – what kind of wines

Andrew: In my 20+ years of looking after artists, Paul Stanley has by far the best palate I’ve encountered and loves the big Aussie Shiraz as well as the finer Cabernets from Mount Mary and Yarra Yering. Birks Wendouree of Clare Cabernet Malbec from 1998 was also something he loved. When I sent some Giaconda Chardonnay in an order to try out, his comment was “simply the best Chardonnay I’ve had”. He also wanted the Parawa Ingalalla which he fell in love with.

The man with a fantastic wine nose also is Courtney Taylor-Taylor of the Dandy Warhol’,s who is super particular about what wines are backstage after show. The more Burgundian French in style the better for him. Although I blew him away with some 1990/94 & 2000  , which he had never tasted anything like before. There are long term wine friends like Michael Schumacher (who sadly had) an amazing understanding of wines and loved the Germanic named Henschke Wines I introduced him to every time he was in Australia. Matthew Bellamy of band MUSE knows his stuff and loved the wines from Samuel’s Gorge, Torbreck, the DeBortoli Noble One. Josh Homme, Troy Van Leeuwen and Dean Fertita of Queens of the Stone Age absolutely love coming down-under to drink with me, they loved this tour the wines from Villa Maria (Reserve Range) I organised for them backstage in Auckland, then we had a great expose of the Pewter and UNO range of Semillons, Shiraz and Shiraz Pinots from Tempus Two (Hunter Valley).

My fave however is a great mate and wine lover named Burton C Bell of industrial metal band Fear Factory, who I always take time between shows to tour the wine regions with and show our best to; he loves the wines from Yarra Yering mostly. The guys from rock band Disturbed are also right on the ball with wines they know and love, in fact David, Dan, John & Mike all really know and love their wines and loved the Australian showcase I provided on their last tour. They voted Rusden Sandscrub Shiraz as the wine of tour. Eric Burdon surprised me with his class and knowledge of wine selections, and also fell in love with some of the wines from Soumah (Yarra Valley) and Elderton Wines (Barossa Valley) we provided backstage on his last tour.

Canadian band The Tea Party are always up for a wine party after show and really love the reds from Devils Lair, as well as the Rusden Grenache on their last Australian tour with the MSO. They fell in love with the wines from Tellurian Estate (Heathcote) and Moore’s Hill Pinot Noir from Tasmania.

Alicia Moore (Pink) loves a wine we import just for her called La Crema Chardonnay from Russian River, CA, but we managed to get her into some Mollydooker wines thanks to their artistic labels. She still orders La Crema though when touring here.

Drew: When in Australia, do international celebrities want to experience the local wines and do they know what to ask for or do they rely on your recommendation

Andrew: When in Australia & NZ, most of the artists rely on my wine judgement and I always conduct a bit of wine & spirit investigations on each artist I have not looked after beforehand. I try my very best to ensure that all on tour get to taste the wines from the regions they are performing close to, for example; when in Perth we will bring them our discoveries from boutique producers from Western Australia, mainly those from Margaret River, Swan Valley, Pemberton or Mount Barker regions.

[For Andrew’s top Australian wine recommendations click here]

Drew: What are the most expensive requests you’ve fielded and who was requesting these wines

Andrew: I get the obvious request for the Iconic’s of Australia as Penfolds Grange, Henschke Hill of Grace and maybe a bit for the Torbreck Laird, but I also have had some amazing almost mystical wines to chase up like the Parawa Estate “Ingalalla” which is, I may add Australia’s top ranked wine by many of the top critics (who have been lucky and tasted it). It cant be brought just anywhere either, you have to know where to strike it! and at A$1300.00 plus for .750mls, it sure is a wine to be reckoned with!

I introduced the singer of metal band Tool to Penfolds as well as Henschke on a tour, and I wish I didn’t to be honest. I lost him as a client due to him going direct and them giving him free Grange & Hill of Grace instead of the other option of buying it through me, and with the now the Chief Winemaker becoming his ‘bestie’ makes life hard to compete with.. ha-ha.

I do however also get the particular wine superstar drinker who only wants their fave wine of the moment and this can be anything from Ch.Petrus, even d’Yquem from early 1900’s, Le Pin, Barolo from Gaja, Giuseppe Quintarelli (RIP), Giacomo Conterno or the great Napa Cabernets Stags Leap, Caymus, Harlan Estate, Hundred Acre, Bryant Family and JJ Cohn’s Scarecrow is something I treasure as special orders to date. I always order more so I can add the odd extra bottle to my cellar! As for Champagnes, well the normal bling bottles such as Cristal, Krug, and the Vintage Doms still shine as the most requested bubbles I am requested for. I love putting up a great Aussie Sparkling like Arras Grand Vintage or Rose as a comparison for them though, which gets a few interesting remarks, especially when they often taste better!

  Drew: How much of the wine is actually drunk – or is it left behind for the crew to drink after the band has left?

Andrew: Most of the wines I bring are drunk, I have learned over the years to always bring a boot full of back up’s and most times I do need to go to the car again. Their guests drink more though, as they feel like it’s a ‘free for all’, so why not. I get really involved with the feel of the aftershow and enjoy explaining the wines as I pour. Making wine fun is really what it is all about, long gone are the days where wine was treated as an old man’s drink. People are genuinely respectful just to learn something from what I pour them.

Drew: Any other unusual requests with wine service – special glasses, a sommelier to pour, wine fridges etc?

Andrew: Over the years of backstage service of wines, I learned early on that Riedels or Plumm and some other popular brands were just not right for the backstage party environment – too many breakages! I landed with Luigi Bormioli crystal and they seriously are the best you can get as far as shape, crystal quality and durability. Don’t think about getting anything else seriously.

I have many famous clients that will still demand “No Screw’d Wine please” (screw’d meaning screw capped). Paul Stanley has a point when he says, if i want a soda pop wine, I will go to my 7/11 mate, so don’t send me any please!

Drew: What’s the Champagne of choice for some of the world’s top celebrities when on tour?  What’s your favourite?

Andrew: Dom Perignon, Cristal and Moet are what I see on most rider lists

My fave Champagne has always been from the House of Krug, particular vintage of 1998 or 1980 which I still have a case or two of each. Their Clos du Mesnil from 1995 is absolutely superb. I’ve also a secret bottle of the Clos du Mesnil from 1982 I am saving for a great day! Also a Jeroboam of 1995 Dom sits proudly in my office in a temperature controlled display case that one day I may open if the right occasion arrives.

I do have a real passion however for our Sparkling Shiraz and always give the after party a special tasting of our most hidden wine. They all love it so much and as the British bands say, “Sparkling Alcoholic Ribena” WOW!!!

It is such a unique wine, that I have several projects on the go with producing Sparkling Shiraz for bands.. crazy but true!

Drew: What’s your fave go to shop/auction house to buy the best wines

Andrew: I buy only through my long term trusted sources, or wineries directly. I have had far too many wines from the popular auction sites turn awful on me and with no way to erase the disappointment of the great occasion turning sour.

It really has affected the way I buy wine, especially super premium wines. I was the winner of a so called great vintage Grange the last time I purchased unseen at an online auction and it was the worst $4,000 I ever spent in my life!

My favourite shop in Melbourne to wander around and lose myself in their selection of great wines and imported Rum is Nick’s Wine at Doncaster. Great guys, great wines and always back their sale with a quality return policy if needed. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but the big wine super market chains to me are more interested in the turning over cases rather than the quality of service and knowledge base.

If we all purchased on the basis of cheaper pricing we are doomed!

If you’re a celebrity and you need Andrew’s services, you can contact him at winestothestars.com

What wines do the world’s biggest celebrities drink? You’re about to get very very jealous! If ever there was a dream job, Andrew Roper from Wines to the Stars has got it.  

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Happy 4th birthday to us - our story!

Happy 4th birthday to us - our story! #winewankers #wine

Wow, what a journey. When we started this caper we had no idea that it would actually go anywhere at all. To be honest, this whole thing was never planned; it just came to be, we jumped aboard, and we’ve been riding the wave ever since. Even to this day we just let it take us wherever it is going. It’s the essence of The Wine Wankers. (more…)

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Last month we placed the fake wines coming out of China under the microscope, asking our followers if they could spot the two fakes from the real deal. Alarmingly, very few people could tell the difference. Fake wines are a big concern for all wineries, and not just Australia’s most iconic brand Penfolds, according to fraud experts, 20% of all wine currently circulating the globe is fake.

With that in mind, I reached out to Australia’s Scott Evers of www.wineauthentication.com.au help us understand the world of counterfeit wine. Scott is one of only eight people globally  to be mentored by the world’s leading wine fraud expert, Maureen Downey. When fully qualified, Scott will become a TCM Master and Licensed Wine Authenticator. With Maureen’s unparalleled training backing him up, Scott offers this invaluable advice every winelover in the world should heed.

Drew (Wine Wankers): How prevalent are fake wines these days?

Scott Evers: 20% of all wine currently circulating the globe is fake (which is in line with all luxury goods). This is actually a conservative figure and the number is growing each year. It’s not just rare wines that are counterfeited, many more ‘commercial’ wines are now also being counterfeited.

Drew: What’s the easiest way to tell if a wine is fake?

Scott: A bad fake is obvious on first look…. Poor print, wrong paper, misspellings, missing info etc. ‘better’ fakes require experienced authenticators to examine bottles more closely.

Drew: Which wine is the most forged in the world?

Scott: For older wine, the most counterfeited producer is between DRC & Petrus, but Lafite and d’Yquem are up there as well. For a particular bottling of wine, 1945 Mouton is probably most counterfeited. In Asia, Penfolds Grange and Bin 707 are the most highly counterfeited, along with Lafite. The counterfeit trend today is for more current vintages and recent releases of very high-end Burgundy and Bordeaux.

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Drew: Is it easier to forge wines these days with the advent of digital printing?

Scott: Yes of course

Drew: What are the top tips for buying genuine wine?

Scott: I have a number of tips but most of it is common sense

Purchase direct from the producer;

Only purchase from merchants who have zero history of selling counterfeits;

Only buy from vendors (auction houses, retailers etc) who can prove the stories of provenance they are telling or have trained authenticators either directly employed or who are a third party consulting to them. (Remember a piece of paper claiming provenance can easily be counterfeited too and this generally is NOT enough proof!);

Only buy wines that have been formally authenticated and registered in the Chai Wine Vault block chain as this guarantees the provenance for the lifetime of that bottle.  Also, look at who merchants are associated with and the company they keep. People who stand alongside merchants/people that knowingly sell counterfeits is a cause for alarm.

Drew: Why is Maureen Downey the world’s best wine fraud expert?

Scott: Many reasons, but this will give you the best info on her https://www.winefraud.com/about-us/team/maureen-downey/. [You cannot cut and paste this exert unfortunately]

Drew: What’s one secret that she’s taught you that you were blown away by?

Scott: That most infamous wine counterfeiters (Rudy Kurniawan etc) unknowingly leave a mark/footprint on their work that is evident across all of their counterfeits. So, experienced authenticators often ascertain as to where/who that fake has come from once they stumble across that common mark.

Drew: What kind of wine are counterfeiters putting in the bottles?

Scott: It varies. Some use other, lesser vintages of the same wine. Some use a combination of cheap wines and flavour additives. Some use a blend of other valuable, but certainly lesser than the bottle they are purporting to represent as authentic. Here are a couple of specific examples that Maureen Downey has come across – I.e. – Marcassin Pinot Noir + other wine, for 1945 DRC Romanee-Conti. Or Duckhorn merlot + Liberty Bay Cellars merlot, + something old for 1940’s/50’s Pomerol. One important point to note is that an unsuspecting buyer does not know what is in a counterfeited wine. This is scary when you consider there are cases where people have died from drinking counterfeited wine! I’ve had very wealthy businessman say to me “oh well, even if it’s a fake wine our VIP guests at the table will see this DRC bottle as being authentic, its more about image and impressing our clients so we will enjoy drinking the wine regardless” – You could imagine the look on their faces when I tell them the story of people dying from drinking fake wine!

Drew: Do you ever use a Coravin to test a wine to see if it’s the real deal – and if so, does it decrease the value of the wine or increase because tasting reveals the quality if good [note: Coravin is a wine preserving system that inserts a needle into the top of allowing wine to be extracted from a bottle without uncorking – it replaces the wine with an inert gas]

Scott: No never, and this is a very important point – Taste is not a measure of authenticity. No one can taste for authenticity. If they could, convicted counterfeiters like Rudy Kurniawan, Hardy Rodenstock, Kahled Rouabab, and Alexandre Lubov etc would not have been able to be so prolific! And yes – piercing with a Coravin destroys the value. Sadly, it is also now a counterfeiting technique by which people drain and refill bottles! Also, again reiterating my point above, you do not know what has been put in a counterfeit bottle of wine, so I for one would certainly not want to taste it if there were red flags to its authenticity.

Drew: Which wine brand has the best security measures in place to stop counterfeiters?

Scott: Ha, the ones counterfeiters do not know about! Maureen and all trainees are abundantly protective of the information we know, and as mentioned Maureen is teaching the very small group of TCM Certified Authenticator trainees (myself included), about the measures producers are using to counter fraud. If we make that public, it is a huge disservice to the producers we are trying to assist! In general, what I can say is that many producers layer anti-fraud technologies, and do not rely on one thing to protect them.

Drew: What’s an average day for a wine fraud investigator look like?

Scott: Not as glamourous as some people may think! Long hours, hard, exhausting and repetitious work, often dirty… but also intriguing, fascinating and you get to meet many fellow wine lovers and incredible cellars around the world! There is a lot of paperwork and repetition required for formal authentication of wines (and sadly not enough drinking), so it’s not all glamour and romance!

Drew: What are some of the tools of your trade?

Scott: Lighting, magnification, measuring, cutting, cleaning, photography…..and a deep knowledge of wine, producers, packaging, technologies/changes, classification systems, food and beverage laws in respective countries, forensic techniques etc

Drew: How expensive are you to hire?

Scott: I am not yet fully trained, so am not yet taking clients for authentication and charging yet…. It is currently being worked out in our business model, but it will be in line with what Maureen and her company charges. I will be offering many different services at different price points. My company called Wine Authentication is registered and we have a website www.wineauthentication.com.au, however I will not start taking clients until I am TCM Master Authenticator qualified and licensed.

Drew: Have you ever been wrong?

Scott: I haven’t started ‘formally’ authenticating yet. That said, I am learning from the best in Maureen Downey who to date has not been proven wrong! The TCM Formal Reporting Methods we use are thorough and exhaustive. We use a 90+ point system to authenticate each bottle, along with other inspection methods required in a laboratory.

Drew: Do you offer a money back guarantee – if so, how does that work?

Scott: Authentication is an art, not a science. I will offer my professional opinion of authenticity. Each client will be presented and agree to a personalized/tailor-made job contract. What I will do is assure clients that I will render findings that I have formally prepared to defend in a court of law, for insurance purposes etc if required. It is our expertise and the rarity of the skill set that our clients are getting.

‘20% of all wine in the world is fake’ – this expert’s guide will save you a fortune Last month we placed the fake wines coming out of China under the microscope, asking our followers if they could…

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The Teabag Method: the new way to chill wine in 3 minutes

The Teabag Method: the new way to chill wine in 3 minutes

Being able to chill a glass of wine quickly is the wine-equivalent to building a better mousetrap. My partner doesn’t understand why this is important – thinking, ‘what kind of person is so desperate for a glass of wine they can’t wait 60 minutes!’ Answer – EVERYONE! My usual go-to method has been whacking a bottle of wine in the freezer. Yes this can be relatively quick, but it’s not as quick as…

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Are you a vegan? Would you buy a vegan only wine? Or do you think wine that is vegan is bulls%&# [no judgement from me! 😎]

Strict vegans will love Champagne Legret , which proudly flaunts its vegan credentials – I tasted this yesterday in Stockholm, however I was in two minds. In a room full of great Champagnes, this didn’t win me over. Was it because they used vegan winemaking methods, or was it simply not as good as some of the other great wines in the room?

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Traditionally, to make a base wine clear, you need to use a fining agent that most vegans spit out their quinoa salad – things like casein (a milk protein), albumin (egg whites), gelatin (animal protein) and isinglass (fish bladder protein). They are not added to the wine, as they fall out out of the wine with the molecules that make the wine cloudy. They simply rest at the bottom of the tank/barrel, and the clear wine is racked off from the top.

An alternative fining product is a clay like substance called bentonite, or even more natural is leaving them to self-clarify and self-stabilize.

Have you got some favourite vegan wines we should be tasting.  Let us know in the comments.

Is vegan wine bulls% ? Are you a vegan? Would you buy a vegan only wine? Or do you think wine that is vegan is bulls%&#