Not to sound hippy but
Love really is the key
I mean, during all my childhood I’ve been raised in hate; my father was racist, islamophobic and homophobic. And so was I. I mean, it was not my fault, I was raised this way.
I was miserable.
First of all, I’m bi, and even if, obviously, at this time, i was really really deep in the closet, i knew it, in my heart, and I was disgusted of myself. I was even more hateful. I was such a terrible person, i was ugly inside and it made me ugly on the outside. People bullied me, during all mid-school, and i never, never defended myself. I hated people. To give you exemples, I would not read a book with a black protagonist, could you fucking believe that? I supported the FN, wich is the french equivalent of the american republican party. I wanted to kill myself. How many times did I thought of that...
And then I turned 14, and joined tumblr. And ok, well: tumblr is really stupid sometimes, but it changed my life. Suddenly, I learnt. I changed so much over the last 2 years, I’m not the same person. I realized where I was: I don’t know if it was depression, but it was close to it. Suddenly, i fought racism and white supremacy; suddenly i was out and proud (not to family tho, that would be suicide). Then I smiled, then I tried to love.
And today. Today I’m sixteen, and sometimes I feel like I’m gonna fall back in, so I fight, But it’s so hard, it’s so hard to completely change yourself, it’s hard to be happy, it’s hard to be someone good, but I will fucking fight. I’ve fought for 2 years, and I’ll keep on until it’s not a battle anymore and being happy and love is a natural thing for me. Because right now, the number one goal in my life is to be a good person. And right now, I need to remember that.
