Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: pre-Keith/Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Characters: Shiro (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron)
Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Tropetember 2022, Shiro (Voltron) Whump, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture (not graphic), Aftermath of Torture, First Aid, Caretaking, Sharing a Bed, sharing a very narrow bed, Non-Sexual Intimacy, clone!Shiro, Post-Season/Series 03
Summary:
This was supposed to be a peaceful visit to solidify an alliance. Call him paranoid, but being suddenly surrounded by guards doesn’t seem particularly peaceful.
“Black Paladin, please come with us.”
It’s an outdated title. Shiro doesn’t move. “May I ask where we’re going?”
“King’s orders,” says the one who’s already spoken. “His Excellency requires your presence.” The rest of the guards remain silent, watching, and a chill goes down Shiro’s back.
Shiro gets captured. Keith and Lance have some feelings about that.
(I am sorry this is so late, this is exam week for me and I am exceptionally tired.)
So, about a year ago (more or less), I started a prompt meme on AO3, called "Gen and Aro Prompts", to encourage people to write more gen stories, and/or stories involving aro-spec characters.
It's still open, anyone can still contribute, and if you want to write something, that would be really, really awesome. (Especially for those people who want someone to help write out their aro headcanons, but no one who knows the fandom has stumbled over it yet.)
If you want to submit a prompt, and maybe hope someone interested stumbles over it, please do!
So far, there's 31 prompts, and 26 works.
Not all of those works include explicitely aro characters, but 23 out of 26 (if I counted correctly) means that fics featuring aro characters are by far in the majority.
There's fics exploring aromanticism in worlds with soulmates, fics exploring certain characters as aromantic, people-coming-out-fics…
Some of my favourites (because there's too many of them, I can't list them all):
Of Arrows and Soulmates - the oldest fic in the collection, predating the prompt meme, featuring the Hawkeyes as platonic soulmates. Kind of light-hearted and nice and you can feel the relief when both realize they're platonic soulmates?
Immortality - I adore how comfy Pidge gets to be with being aro… , and also that this was written in response to one of my prompts; features a Pidge without a soulmate where people start ageing when they meet theirs.
Flingerlings - featuring aro Luna and Harry, and one of my favourite rejections of amatonormativity. Also starring Snape's corpse, and the rejection of amatonormativity includes Snape's actions, and just - go read it.
Pangur Bán and Me - Hermione and Millicent Bulstrode both get to be aro immortal friends. It's awesome. Also, Millicent has an immortal cat. I am probably not very good at descriptions.
The Only One They Ever Reared - Sirius and Remus have to watch tiny!Harry while his parents are away.
Mattie vs Amatonormativity - Mattie (from the Art of Escaping) discovers the concept of being aro. And aro-allo. I really just... like this kind of fic, even if I have no idea about the fandom?
We Won't Ever Say Goodbye - another world where people don't start ageing until meeting their soulmates, and even more non-soulmated aros - this time, it's Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton and Pepper Potts from the MCU. This is one of several fics I start reading when being surrounded by romance gets to be too much.
Getting Lost With You (600800 Seconds From Valentine's Day) - where Lavender is an aro robot, and her inner monologue is awesome. Also has a ranty author's note I'm really fond of. (I should probably comment on it, finally…)
(I also wrote a fic with an aro Luna Lovegood "Romantic Love and Crumple-Horned Snorkacks (Through the Years)", that is… at least 70% me projecting my experiences growing up onto her and mixing in some bits I heard from other people about them growing up? At least some people didn't find that unenjoyable.)
I... haven't really kept up with the newer fics, because uni, and I left out a lot of good ones because this post was starting to get too long, but - yeah.
There's quite something there already, and I really would like for a lot of those fics to get more comments and kudos, and to just see more fics in general.
(Also, question to the mods of this blog: Can I just go and submit aro fic that gets submitted to the prompt meme to you throughout the year?)
---------------
Mod Caro: Of course! They won't be added to our AO3 Collection or tagged as part of our Fanwork event, but we'll gladly share it with the rest of the community if you send them to us.
"Alright team, get ready. Form Voltron!" Shiro called with an air of authority in an effort to keep himself and his team under control. The team had managed to find shelter from the armada of Galra ships behind a few large asteroids; merging into Voltron would mean revealing their positions and being in open space with virtually no defense. It would be risky, but it was the only way to make it out of this.
"On my way!" Pidge called over the coms, dodging lasers a she pushed Green to get into position.
She listened to hear the rest of her team confirm their positions as well. She could barely hear anything over the sound of the fight happening outside. Pidge positioned her hand over the lever that allowed Green to connect with the rest of the Lions and form voltron. She watched as the canon fired again, she could miss it. Faster. Pidge pushed Green to go faster.
Close, so close.
There was a blinding light and a sound like a bomb going off. Then there was nothing.
The Green Lion was free floating on it's back, a crater blown in it's torso. Shiro, Lance, Keith, and Hunk all stopped and stared for a moment. Shiro was the first to react.
"Pidge? Pidge!" Shiro yelled into the coms, trying to get a visual into Green. He thought the canon must have taken out the coms, there was only static for a terrifying moment until he heard the rest of the team echo his call. "Dammit!" Shiro yelled, punching the steering column of Black. the blast had also managed to take out the visual display in the Green Lion.
"Shiro, what-"
"Oh my God, Shiro, is she-"
"We've got to help Pidge!"
"Alright, stay calm!" Shiro yelled, equally to himself and his other teammates. "I'm not getting audio or visual feedback from the Green Lion. We need to retreat." Shiro grunted, blasting a fighter jet. They were still taking fire, but with Pidge maybe hurt or-no. Shiro couldn't afford to think like that. "Hunk, push the Green Lion behind an asteroid and take cover. Lance and Keith, we'll provide cover. Allura?"
"I'm here, Shiro." Allura's voice, calm as ever, came over the coms.
"We're gonna need a pickup." Shiro took a shaky breath.
"Coming up on your location now."
The wait for the ship could have been minutes or hours, Shiro couldn't be sure. By the time the ship got there, they weren't taking fire anymore. Maybe the Galra had gotten bored, or maybe they'd run out of ammo. Shiro didn't care. All he could think about was Pidge being hurt and not being able to help her. He kept trying to reach her with coms or get a visual, but it seemed that the canon blast had blown out all communications.
Back on the ship, Hunk towed the Green Lion into the hangar and watched as Coran and Allura rushed out with something that looked like a gurney. Shiro pulled himself up onto Green's head and opened the emergency airlock. Pidge was unconscious, a cut on her head still dripping dark red blood.
"Pidge?" Shiro asked softly. Nothing. "Pidge, can you hear me?" Nothing. Lightly, he lifted her wrist and placed two fingers just above her hand to find a weak pulse. Shiro worked to swallow down the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him. He'd be no good to anyone if he had an attack right here.
"I need something to immobilize her neck. Until we can figure out what damage was done." Shiro called back to Coran and Allura.
Coran thought for a moment and then seemed to recall something. He ran back into the belly of the ship and returned with a cervical collar from earth. "I'm told this is an ornament humans wear to show wealth, but I believe it may also work for this purpose!" He called, tossing it up to Shiro.
"That is oddly perfect, Coran." Keith crossed his arms. He thought the comment about the ornament might be funny under different circumstances.
Shiro fastened the collar around Pidge's neck, unbuckled her seatbelt and gingerly pulled her from the seat and placed her on the gurney, where she only looked smaller and weaker. Pidge looked like a kid. Shiro shuddered.
"We'll need to get her into a pod immediately." Allura announced after a moment.
Coran pulled the gurney in the direction of the healing pods and everyone followed. When they arrived, Allura made all of the guys leave so she could remove Pidge's armor.
When they were given the go ahead, everyone rushed back into the room to see Pidge already in a pod, the cut on her head now healed, and Allura standing at the control panel with a worry line between her brows.
"Allura, what is it?" Hunk asked, his voice pinched.
"Something doesn't seem quite right, but I'm not familiar enough with human anatomy to know for sure." She chewed her lip uncertainly.
"What do the scans say?" Lance stepped forward, looking like he wanted to comfort Allura, but thought better of it at the last second.
"From what I understand, the pod has healed any bodily injury that it found, but the scans show that there is something called 'severe swelling' in Pidge's brain. Do any of you know what this means?"
"That means her brain is putting too much pressure on her skull, right?" Keith asked, looking to Shiro to confirm.
"Yes. That's what that means." Shiro's blood ran cold.
"Isn't that, like, deadly, though?" Hunk choked out nervously.
"It-uh-it can be." Shiro huffed.
"What do we do?" The other three paladins begged, looking between Shiro and Allura.
"The pod is detecting no other injury besides the swelling and Altean technology is incapable of healing injuries of the brain matter." Allura admitted sadly.
"We'll have to take her out of the pod and monitor her out here." Shiro's stomach rolled at the thought.
"And what if the pressure get to be too much?" Lance asked, not really sure he wanted an answer.
"We-I'll have to put a small hole in Pidge's skull to relieve the pressure. If that doesn't work, she could end up brain dead or at least severely mentally and physically handicapped." Shiro swallowed back bile.
"So you're saying that we just have to wait and see? All of this stupid alien tech, and we can't do a single thing for Pidge besides wait and see?! I-I'm just-ahhh!" Keith yelled as he stormed out of the med bay.
"I'm just, uh-" Lance trailed off, pointing a thumb in Keith's direction. Casting one last look at Pidge, Lance jogged off after Keith, the doors to the med bay making a 'wooshing' sound as he went through.
"My dear Hunk, why don't we go see what can be found in the kitchen. I'm certain Pidge would love some of my grand pappy's glarsensnorf when she wakes up." Coran suggested.
Hunk stared at Coran blankly.
"I believe the people of earth would refer to it as soup." Allura offered.
"Oh, um, yeah." Hunk let himself be led out of the med bay.
For a moment, Shiro and Allura could only stand and stare at Pidge in the pod, she looked so small-so much like a kid. She was just a kid.
"We should get her out of the pod." Allura
Shiro nodded, retrieving the gurney from where it'd been left across the room. Allura pressed a button on the control panel to open Pidge's pod and Shiro caught Pidge in his arms, he wondered if she'd always been so light, and gently placed her on the gurney.
"We need to be able to monitor her vitals." Shiro said.
"When not in the pod," Allura explained, absently smoothing Pidge's wild hair. "The suits act as an extension, monitoring the wearers vital signs."
"Huh"
"The Lion's know each paladin's normal parameters and they share that information telepathically with the castle. We will get an alert if anything is amiss."
"Thank you, Allura."
Allura just smiled softly before wandering out.
Then, Shiro was on his own, with only the quiet beeping of Pidge's heart monitor and his own thoughts to fill the silence.
What if she doesn't wake up, what if she has a severe handicap, what if she isn't the same, what if... Shiro couldn't have stopped the onslaught of thoughts if he wanted too, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Maybe he deserved this.
The rest of the team slowly filtered in and out, sometimes all together, sometimes one at a time.
Lance was the first to wander in, trying to get Shiro to lighten up a little, but Shiro could only think about his list of what ifs.
Hunk came next, pointedly not making eye contact with Pidge's sleeping form and mostly to try to bully Shiro into eating. Shiro's stomach clenched at the thought. He waved Hunk away.
Coran and Allura faded in and out, somehow always there and always gone, hovering around Shiro to make sure he was okay and hovering around Pidge to make sure she didn't get any worse.
Keith was the last to make an entrance. Shiro figured it was getting close to whatever qualified as midnight in space, Keith was always the last to go to bed. Shiro half-expected Keith to tell him it wasn't his fault or that he should get some rest too, but he and Shiro just sat in silence for a while before Keith got up again, squeezed Shiro's good shoulder and walked out again. Somehow, this made his feel better.
Shiro thought he must have fallen asleep. He was startled awake as someone draped a blanket over his shoulders. Shiro looked up blearily. Allura.
"I was trying so hard not to wake you, my apologies."
"No, no. I didn't mean to fall asleep. How's Pidge?" Shiro stood up to stretch, the blanket falling to the floor.
"You really should sleep Shiro. My research showed that this state Pidge is in, I believe it was called a coma, can last for days- or longer."
"I'm not worried about me right now, and that's not what I asked." Shiro said with more venom that he'd meant, walking over to Pidge's bed.
"No change yet. I'm sorry." Allura answered softly, almost sounding like she was crying.
Shiro mentally cringed and turned to see tears in Allura's eyes.
"Aw, crap. I'm sorry- I didn't mean- I'm just-" Shiro tried to backtrack.
"No, no. It's not you. It's this. Pidge. I just forget that she, all of you, are just so human. So breakable." Allura cried softly.
Shiro walked back to Allura and enveloped her in a hug.
"Me too." He said simply.
"You know," Allura began after a while, they had just been sitting together and watching Pidge for who knew how long now, "I do maintain that humans are incredibly fragile, but you all continue to prove that humans are also incredibly resilient."
"It takes a lot to knock us down for good, I'll give you that." Shiro sighed.
"I didn't know you drooled when you sleep." Pidge's voice pulled Shiro out of the dream he'd been having.
"I don't drool." He argued sleepily, wiping the drool off of the corners of his mouth.
He felt Allura stir beside him.
"Pidge!" Allura yelled, jumping up from her spot beside Shiro.
Shiro's eyes flew open, fully awake, as he realized what this meant.
"Took you both long enough. I have a crazy headache and I'm starving!" Pidge snarked, crossing her arms with a smirk.
"Oh my God! You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice!" Shiro beamed.
The door to the med bay wooshed open and Shiro heard footsteps of his friends.
"We heard yelling." Keith said, skidding to a stop in front of Shiro, Coran trailing closely behind and smiling at the sight before him.
"Everything's fine. Pidge-" Shiro began.
"Pidge!" Lance and Hunk yelled in unison.
"Guys! I'm glad you're so happy to see me, but my head is killing me. Can we bring it down by like, three decibels?" Pidge winced with an apologetic smile.
"Sorry. Pidge!" Hunk whisper-yelled.
Pidge gave him a thumbs up.
"I'll see if I can find something for your headache." Shiro offered.
"I'll help." Allura said.
Shiro and Allura pushed their way out of the tangle of arms and legs that were now trying to climb up to sit on the bed with Pidge.
"What happened? Did Keith try to cook again?" Pidge asked.
"Hey! That was one time!" Keith argued.
"Yeah, one time too many." Lance laughed.
"Pidge, you were so cool. You were like 'woosh' and the canon was like 'boom' and we were all like 'aahhh'" Hunk recounted.
"Will they be alright?" Allura asked, turning around to take in the sight of the four friends.
"Yeah. They'll be just fine." Shiro looked over his shoulder at his friends, and then to Allura as the doors closed behind them.
"So will you, Shiro." Allura took Shiro's hand and squeezed. "After all, humans are incredibly resilient."
This is the square I chose for myself: ‘Lost their voice from screaming’
A continuation of these two pieces from my Birthday Whump Bingo challenge:
Part I (breathing, slow and controlled)
Part II (’help me get him up’)
They’d come.
Shiro had promised, after all. Lance’d had faith, and they all followed through. He’d known they would come, had no reason to think they wouldn’t. It had been hard to remember that though, when the Druid was-
No. Lance wasn’t going to think about that right now. Pidge was here, Hunk was on his way, and everything was going to be fine. They were getting him out.
Pidge had her arm over his shoulders, holding him close, and it hurt, all of him hurt, but he also didn’t want her to let go. He willfully ignored the tears he could feel falling, and she didn’t mention it, for which he was ridiculously thankful.
Lance tensed as there was a clattering out in the corridor, but then Hunk skidded into the cell, out of breath.
“You...you got him! Oh thank quiznack, buddy, hey, are you ok, you look awful.”
Pidge snorted a laugh as Hunk winced, and Lance huffed what would have been a laugh if he could talk. He raised a hand in a so-so gesture and shrugged, which made Hunk frown.
“What- why aren’t you talking? Pidge, why isn’t he talking?”
“Dunno, but we should go. Help me get him up.”
Hunk immediately came over and squatted down next to Lance, switching his bayard over to his right hand so he could get his left arm around Lance, under his arms. Hunk then stood up, taking Lance with him. Lance knew Hunk was strong, but he was always kind of in awe when he did the whole ‘casual display of buffness’ thing. His next thought was wow, being upright hurt.
All the bruises and claw marks across his skin pulled, some of them reopening, and Lance grimaced, hands tightening into fists.
“Aww, buddy, I’m sorry, but we’ve gotta move. You good to go, or do you need me to carry you?”
Lance opened his mouth and hissed quietly in frustration when he couldn’t easily respond. He wanted to be able to walk out of here on his own, or at least with Hunk’s help, but he knew they needed to be fast; he didn’t want to take any chances of them being caught. So he sighed, and moved his hands in a lifting gesture.
“Gotcha. Think you can handle a fireman’s carry? I wanna be able to still hold my bayard.”
Lance didn’t think any of the wounds on his front were really more than cosmetic. They’d hurt, but they wouldn’t make anything much worse than they already were. He nodded at Hunk, and Hunk knelt down to get a grip around Lance’s knees before hefting him up. Lance wheezed out a noise, but then tapped on Hunk’s shoulder, ‘ready to go’.
The trip back to the Yellow lion felt quick, but Lance wasn’t sure if that was because it was, or because he kept fading in and out of awareness on the way. Hunk set him down gently on the floor of the cockpit, frowning apologetically when Lance winced at the hard floor; he was glad to be out of the cell, but the floor of the Yellow lion wasn’t much more comfortable a surface to lie on.
“Sorry, we’ll be back at the Castle soon. Coran and the others will meet us in the hangar. We’ll get you fixed up in no time.”
Lance nodded, and closed his eyes. Now that the adrenaline of escape was starting to fade, he was really starting to notice how awful he felt. The last few days, or what he thought were days, had been rough. He’d managed to hold out against the Druid, but he thought that had more to do with the fact the Druid was called away early than any superhuman effort on his part. He knew if the Druid’d had an extra day or so, he wouldn’t have lasted. In the absence of the Druid, the remaining guards had done what they could to make him talk; they’d beaten him, went at him with claws, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been fed. He didn’t know what they would have come up with next, but he’s very glad he didn’t get the chance to find out.
The next thing he knew, they were landing, and just the thought of trying to get back up again exhausted him. He’s saved from the effort by Hunk, who scoops him up in his arms now that he doesn’t need to worry about his bayard. It’s a much more comfortable carry, and again, Lance was thankful for it.
Hunk carefully made his way down the ramp and out of his lion, careful not to knock Lance into anything. Coran was waiting with a floating bed from the infirmary, the others just beside him, and Coran sucked in a breath between his teeth.
“Oh, dear boy, look at you. Bring him here, Hunk. Gently, now.”
Hunk sets Lance down on the bed, and Lance sighs. This is the most comfortable he’s been since...well, a while, anyway.
“Alright, back up everyone, give us some room. I’ll take him down to get checked out, and you can see him in a bit. Go get cleaned up, and I’ll let you know when he’s ready for some company.”
When they hit the hallway, the other paladins split off to head to the showers while Coran carefully pushed the bed towards the infirmary. Lance noticed that Shiro had split off with them and was quietly following, though he was staying a few steps behind.
They reached the infirmary, and Coran guided the bed over towards a free docking station, locking it into place so it wouldn’t move. Shiro took a seat off to the side, still not saying anything, but Lance was thankful he was there.
“I’m going to run some scans before I do anything else. Is that alright?”
Lance nodded, trying to straighten out on the bed from the huddled curl he’d been in on the way here. They’d all been scanned before, since Coran wanted to have a baseline for all of them, and he knew he had to be laying out flat and still for the scanner to pick him up correctly. It took him a moment, and he was trembling after, but he managed.
The scans were quick, painless. Coran read the results, and hummed thoughtfully.
“There’s nothing critical, no permanent damage, though you might scar from some of the lacerations. It’s up to you whether you go in a pod or not, my boy. It would help you heal faster, the scarring would be minimal. All of this will resolve on its own if given the chance, though. It would take a movement or so for you to be back fighting fit. Which would you prefer?”
He knew he should pick the pod, to be ready to fight again sooner rather than later, to be ready to help as soon as he was able, but a deeper piece of him rebelled at that. He didn’t want to go into the pod. He wanted to be out here, safe, warm, around his friends who could reassure him he wasn’t back with the Galra, that everything was going to be ok. A curl of guilt rooted in his stomach. How could he be so selfish, though? What if they needed him and he wasn’t ready? What if there was an attack and he couldn’t fly yet?
He was pulled out of his internal debate by Shiro calling his name. When he looked over, Shiro was smiling gently at him. “If you don’t want to go into the pod, it’s ok. Don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to. We’re heading to Olkarion for a few days to do some work on the Castle, so things should be quiet.”
Lance felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. That- that was good. He still felt a little guilty about it, but if Shiro said it was ok…
He looked back up at Coran who was watching him expectantly, and shook his head, mouthing, ‘no pod’.
“Alright then. What we’ll do is get you cleaned up and bandaged, maybe an ice pack for that eye, then you can finish getting cleaned up and changed back at your room, maybe get you something to eat.”
Lance let Coran cut away the rest of the upper half of his flight suit; most of it was beyond repair or missing anyway. Coran kept muttering angrily to himself as he worked, and Lance had to keep reminding himself Coran wasn’t angry at him, but at what had been done to him.
He hadn’t thought he could feel more tired and still be conscious, but that just went to show how much he knew. By the time Coran declared him good to go, Lance wasn’t sure how he was going to make it to his room, let alone anything else. He was lying down, and his arms and legs were still shaking.
He was saved from figuring it out by a warm hand on his shoulder. Shiro had wandered closer for the first time since they got to the infirmary, and was standing next to the bed. “I’ll help him to his room, Coran. Why don’t you go let the others know Lance will see them later.”
Soon it’s just the two of them and the quiet sounds of the machines in the room humming under their breathing.
“Do you need a minute?”
Lance shook his head, and deciding he couldn’t put it off any longer. Coran had cleaned his wounds, but he would possibly kill for a shower and a change of clothes. He tried pushing himself up to sitting and was annoyed when he barely managed. Shiro helped steady him, waiting patiently as Lance caught his breath. Lance nodded decisively, and pushed himself off the bed. Shiro’s reflexes and the strong arm around Lance’s waist were the only things that kept him from faceplanting onto the floor. He huffed in irritation and tried to get his legs to steady under him, willed them to keep him upright, if only barely. He half expected Shiro to just pick him up and carry him, but Shiro did no such thing. Instead, Shiro waited for Lance to decide what he wanted, patient as a stone.
“It’s ok, Lance. Once you’ve had the chance to eat something and rest, that’ll go a long way toward helping you feel better. Most of this is residual.”
And Shiro would know, wouldn’t he? Lance shuddered, realizing, and not for the first time, that Shiro was achingly familiar with what he was going through, had likely gone through it more than once himself, for much longer. As much pain as he’s currently in, thinking about that kind of stuff happening to Shiro hurt more.
“C’mon, if you can, put your arm around me; it’ll help with your balance.”
Lance was dismayed at the effort it took to lift his left arm, but he did manage to get it around Shiro’s waist.
“Alright, nice and slow. Let’s go.”
It felt like the longest walk of his life, getting from the infirmary to his room, and Lance almost gave in and asked Shiro to carry him a couple of times. But every time he needed to take a break, Shiro would ease them to a stop, help Lance lean on the wall, and waited until Lance was ready to move again. By the time they reached Lance’s room he was shaking like a leaf, sweat pouring off of him, and he was never more glad that Altean bandages were waterproof. Shiro helped him ease down to sit on the edge of his bed, and he silently sighed in relief. Beds were awesome. His bed was awesome. The most wonderful bed in the whole universe really. He was about to tip over sideways to fully enjoy the full squish power of his matress when Shiro clucked his tongue and caught carefully at Lance’s shoulders.
“Nope, can’t let you do that yet.”
Lance tried to whine, but nothing came out, so instead he just made the most pitiful pair of puppy eyes he could. Shiro snorted a laugh, but still didn’t let him fall over.
“Nuh-uh. I promise you it will be worth it. Just a little longer, you can take a shower, and put on clean pajamas, and then you can lay down while I get you something to eat. Besides, the warm water will help your strained muscles, I promise.”
Lance heaved a dramatic sigh, but nodded in resignation, letting Shiro help him get back up to wobble into the attached bathroom all the paladin’s bedrooms had. Lance had never been so grateful in his life that the shower stalls had a build-in bench, because while he appreciated everything Shiro was doing to help him, showering was not one of the things he was prepared to accept help with.
Shiro had grabbed spare clothes and a towel and set them on the shelf near the shower, and gave Lance a critical look.
“I’m going to wait out in your room. Obviously you can’t shout if you need anything, but I’ll be listening. Knock on the wall if you need any kind of help, or if you start to feel faint, ok?”
Lance nodded, and shut the bathroom door. It was the first time he’d been alone somewhere safe since before his capture. He turned on the shower, set it to his preferred temperature, stripped, and stepped under the water. The water pressure on the Castle was always amazing, and this time was no different. The spray hurt a little as it hit some of his bruises, but Shiro was right, the trade-off of delicious liquid warmth sluicing over him was totally worth it. He felt his shoulders lower, tension bleeding out, and next thing he knew he was crying, his tears mixing in with the shower water. Silent heaving sobs wracked through him, and god, what- he was safe, he was fine, he’d be ok in a few days and ready to jump back into the fray in a week, this was stupid. He scrubbed himself as best as he could, and turned off the water, breath still shuddering through him. He got out, sat on the closed toilet seat as he dried himself off and got the pajama bottoms on. He decided the top was too much trouble, and left it with the towel by the sink. Shiro was waiting just like he’d said, leaning back in Lance’s desk chair with his eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest. When he heard the bathroom door open, he cracked his eyes open and smiled at Lance.
“Hey, how’re you feeling?”
Lance opened his mouth, even though he knew full well he couldn’t say anything, but his breath hitched, and god, he’d thought he got all the crying over with in the shower, but it looked like he wasn’t done yet. He stumbled over to his bed and crumpled down onto it, curling in heaving ball, more tears wetting the comforter where he’d buried his face in it.
There was the sound of the desk chair moving, then the bed dipped next to him, and he felt the cool pads of metal fingertips against the skin of his back, gently rubbing up and down.
“Hey, you’re safe, you’re ok. Are you in any pain? Do you need a painkiller?”
Lance shook his head against the bed and managed to move enough that he was part-way in Shiro’s lap. Shiro went with it, carefully helping him settle and hugging Lance firmly.
“It’s a lot to process, huh? That sudden realization that you’re out, that they don’t have you anymore.” Shiro’s voice is quiet, the movement of his hand up and down Lance’s spine feels meditative and soothing. Lance nods against Shiro’s chest, breath still hitching. His throat aches, burns with all the words he can’t say, might not have been able to manage even if he had his voice, and he shakes with it; Shiro just holds on, murmuring soothing nonsense at him until he starts to calm. He wants to feel embarrassed about it, but he’s so far beyond drained and exhausted, he just doesn’t have the energy for it. Maybe he’ll feel it later, that he cried his eyes out while being held by his flight commander, but that was a problem for Later Lance; for now all he wanted was to rest.
“Do you want me to bring you some ice chips for your throat when I get your food?”
Lance glanced up at Shiro, eyebrow raised in question.
“Feel free to let me know if I’m wrong, but- they didn’t take your voice, you lost it, right?”
Lance nodded slowly.
“While you were with the Druid?”
Lance shuddered, curling forward slightly, but nods again. Shiro squeezes him before pushing away slightly so he can see Lance’s face.
“You know we’re proud of you, right?”
Lance looks up at him, incredulous.
“Druids are...a lot to deal with. For anyone, even at the best of times. But you fought. You fought hard and you survived, and held on until we could get to you. So yeah, we’re- no, I’m- proud of you. You did everything right.” Shiro pulls him in for another hug, this one a bit tighter. It hurts, but Lance can’t bring himself to care. Shiro’s eyes are bright and shinier than normal when he finally lets go. “I’m going to get you some of the soup I know Hunk’s been making, and some ice chips for you to suck on; I know they’re what I wanted. They should feel pretty good on your throat. We’ll start easy and if those are ok we can see what else Hunk can come up with. In the meantime, rest. I’ll try to keep the others at bay until at least after dinner. Call us if you need us, though, ok?”
Lance can already feel himself sliding toward sleep as he nods. He’s awake just long enough to feel Shiro give his shoulder a squeeze, before he slides into the blissful depths of sleep.
