FANTASTIC 4:REVIEW
A Previously failed marvel film franchise is back for one more crack of the whip.Inter dimensional travel is discovered by a young Reed Richards and is made reality. Later in his life,with a team of crack scientists and good friends he ventures into another strange world.A planet containing energy with the potential to save our ever dyeing planet. After a field test tragedy the team are left with strange powers,which the government snap up quickly to use in conflicts. The team has to come back together after this misfortune to take on a bigger threat to the world than global warming...Doom.
Ill keep this one as focused as i can but bare with me baby raptors. This film fucking sucks.It fails on almost every level and had me face palming 20 times a minute. I left the cinema with dazed dead eyes, and a skull fracture from face palm blunt force trauma.
The start up isn’t bad.Pretty good introductions for characters, gets the story on the road to getting stuck into what we came for. POWERS!However this film gets the biggest of boners having men in suits walking through hallways, giving the typical CIA, evil government bullshit speech. Over and over and over.
I sat there thinking ,’Ok its been 50 minutes when the fuck is this film going to start?’ Well apparently never. The entire film is a set up for a sequel i will never watch. Its hard not to include any spoilers in a blind film rant rage. So ill try and keep it short and sweet with no details etc.
Doom looks like a kid wearing a homemade plastic mannequin helmet from Pound land. Ridiculous aesthetic with even more ridiculous beady green led eyes.In no way is he imposing, scary or intimidating. What a waste of a truly cool villain in the Marvel universe.His emotion and motive is barely sold to us and just feels like a blank evil dude.Not to mention he is like a pantomime villain on wires in his battle scenes. Floats like a piece of paper!
That brings me to the CG in F4. What the fuck happened! This CG is so dated you can practically see the steam powered cogs turning in the background. Awful textures,laughable backdrops and location shots. The effects team is living in the 90′s if they thought they'd get away with how shoddy the feature looked.(Or high as hell)
Finally add a sprinkle of cringe worthy dialogue and character motives that make zero sense. Year long grudges are forgotten almost instantly or never brought up what so ever. The Fantastic 4 come across as flat,boring and weak.
I wont go on or ill never stop ranting guys so thats all my time ill give this trash.
Fantastic 4 NEEDS to die now. Sorry all you fans out there but F4 needs to go the way of Ol’ Yella. Take this movie out the back and finish it both barrels.
Fantastic 4 ........F
