Jun 2
in search of a castle I can runaway to
- #deltarune
#project hail mary- #the amazing digital circus
- #coquette
- #bloodymary
#photography- #heated rivalry
#nature
#writers on tumblr#ao3#writeblr#ao3 fanfic#writing community#archive of our own
#ao3#writeblr#ao3 fanfic#writing community#archive of our own
seen from Iraq
seen from Mexico
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Belgium
seen from Mexico
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
in search of a castle I can runaway to
to be safe, seen and fully loved is truly all I want in this lifetime.
hopefully that also comes with rough sex.
this blog began as my sexual fantasy.
as I’ve grown older, my sexuality has become intertwined with my sensuality.
this space is becoming a reflection of both my inner and outer worlds.
a diary.
my poetry.
a glimpse into my internal monologue.
a glimpse into every aspect of me.
never fully seen,
yet entirely revealed.
A soul knowing drought and flood
Once held too tightly
for anything to grow.
A field gone dry.
Then came the rains.
Mercy at first.
A promise of spring.
The rain did not cease.
Quicksand.
The smell of cut grass.
A garden still learning its weather.
tonight
stuck
all in order
light at the window
room still
a self untaught
in being held
taught only
to endure
careful
capable
sufficient
now even silence
does not suffice
this is no life
for silence
it asks for warmth
a table alive
a small hand tangled in my hair
big hands at my waist
for the sweet release
of no longer
bearing myself alone
yet still
I know not
how to come to it
only this
I am ready
still
I wait
being 25 in a new city, new job, new routine, new mindset is the most isolating yet freeing feeling.
part of me grows everyday into a more beautiful version of myself but then comes overwhelm and uncertainty.
my discipline is being challenged by my desire for comfort. comfort being challenged by my need for control.
confusion from longing for a life I feel so close to having and a life I feel I just lost.
lost because I’ve found a new. a new way of valuing devotion over discipline. a new way of pushing myself towards kindness over punishment.
a body meant to be loved rather than deprived.
a life meant to be lived rather than survived.
everyone admires risk and reward but few admire the landing after the fall, before you stand up again.
how do you know if someone is actually in love with you? I know someone loves me. but loving someone and being in love with someone is different. asking for a friend…