Autolatry
Autolatry - The worship of one’s self.
It would be easier for Morgan to hate himself after everything that had happened. It would have made things simpler to accept the narrative that he had been broken, he had been damaged, and he had been tainted by a cruel touch he had been too young to understand. Less easy to accept it, to deal with it and keep going while acknowledging that the scars physical and invisible were something that would always be with him. Nearly impossible at first to actively like the man that had formed on the other side of that experience, to love himself as victim, or survivor. He’d thought that surely hating himself for it would have been a better motivator for moving on, for not letting him hold back, but denial was not sustainable and eventually it was a choice between loving himself as a man who had been a victim, and had survived, or die to maintain the lie that something awful hadn’t shaped everything he was.
