AND I'M CACKLING OVER BLANK 3 tell us what it is???
Also A God 2??? Inchresting titles...
Omg so Farmer Joel is 😍 this particular fic is actually a request from when I hit 800 followers (several months ago 😓) and the request was anything farmer Joel. The idea I had was Joel fucks up and reader makes him beg. She is I would say a lil dommy mommy (lmfao but actually) and I wrote down he forgets her bday and then he was gonna be on his knees, just pathetic and begging. But idk how I feel about the bday forget part bc he would not do that. But I can’t think of something he could do that would piss her off enough to get her to have him like that (I hope this makes sense lol)
Blank 3, whew buddy lmfaooooo I need to organize better and rename these files 😂💀 buuuttttttt it’s part two to The Princess Treatment aka Dave & Frankie fuck the nanny 🥰
Also A God 2 is a sequel to A God Among Us (wrote that back when the first official Gladiator 2 trailer came out I believe 😬 and Marcus Acacias had my panties in a twist.) also side note I have got to redo my masterlist bc it is not on there
Written for Danktober 2022 Day 12: Humiliation, Forget, National Farmers Day.
A/N & Warnings: This is set almost immediately after the events of farmer joel snippet 01., and thus deals with that aftermath. There's a lot of context and conversation missing from this, and if you're gearing up to throw something, don't jump no guns now, family. As for warnings, it gets a little bit steamy toward the end, remember that this fic is (and really, all my fics are) 21+ only.
P.S. Don't come for me hehe
[full danktober list here]
[farmer joel series masterlist here]
"Shh, shh babygirl, c'mere…"
"I don't, I don't know how I forgot, I forgot, I didn't, I'm so sorry—"
"Babygirl, it's okay, you're safe now and I got you. I told you I'd look out for you, keep an eye on you. This is on me, I-I should have been more clear with what you needed to—"
"Hush, babygirl." Joel took your face in his hands and held you still from your impassioned head-shaking enough to snap you from your fit. "You're safe. I know why you forgot. And it's not your fault." His thumbs stroked away the fear-shed tears cascading down your face. "It really ain't."
You sighed, grabbing onto his wrists and leaning into his touch. "But it feels like it," you moaned miserably. "I can't believe I forgot what was out there, what wanted me, what wants me dead."
"I forget about it too, sometimes. Been living in the glade a long time. Enough of a long time that I forget without meaning to. First few months up here, figured it was all just some wolves out there. Scared the bejeesus outta me first time I saw it. Didn't leave the house after dark for months. It was like the damn quarantine had started again…" His hands stroked over your hair, thumbs brushing away more tears as they formed and fell down your cheeks. His voice was calm, but you could see the fear in his eyes that lingered from this near-disaster. He hadn't been scared of the thing in the woods for years, he'd said, but seeing it come for you was a different story.
"I'm sorry," you croaked again, looking down as guilt poured from your body. One of your hands covered his watch, the multitextured, fractured surfaces only serving as a reminder to the most personal losses he still felt. Had your carelessness—or Joel's timing—been one second off and you would have become another damn notch in the watch. You could have been another splinter of glass in his heart that he carried with him every braeth.
He shook his head again, shushing you when he couldn't quiet your blubbering any longer. He kept his hand on the back of your head when he pulled you in for an embrace, hiding you in the solid bulk of his shoulder. "I've got you, babygirl. I've got you."
You didn't see the cold set in his eyes when he glared past the window at the treeline, meeting the glinting eyes of the hulking shadow hidden just beyond the shade.
"Ain't nothin' gonna happen to you," he whispered, too low for you to hear, but nonetheless a vow.
Dinner and evening chores were a quiet and efficient affair. As soon as the sky began to darken, he shuttered the windows and closed the curtains. One by one, he checked the locks until they were all clicked shut. At the end of this task, he found his mind drifting aimlessly, unsure of exactly what to do with the problem in the woods. He didn't realize he was looking at the coat closet door until he pulled a sneer, turning his back and walking upstairs.
That damn rifle had sat in that closet for two years. He wasn't about to unearth it for just any threat.
No use getting frantic, now, he thought to himself. How much do you even know about that thing besides it can't come any closer than the treeline?
The thought disquieted him, making it a little harder to swallow around the taste of fear that sprung up on his tongue. He knew that sour taste, hell, he'd nearly caught the scent of it from the tears you'd shed that afternoon.
How much do you even know?
With the Infected and the effort it took to stay surviving from them for over a decade, Joel had come to be pretty well-versed about the ins and outs of those former humans. He knew the signs of a spore infestation, knew the statistics for how long one could survive exposure, how long before even holding one's breath. He could tell when a Runner was mutating into a Clicker. He knew what communication versus pain versus hunger meant in the wordless language of those horrific chitters, how they didn't always mean they were looking for oneself. He knew the tells of when bitten humans were trying to hide it, and he knew just what it took to make the damn thing that cured them—
No use getting melancholy, either.
He finished his walk up to the bedroom door, where he found you standing at the window, just behind where the curtains fell open to the dusk light. There was a dull clicking noise, but this was the newer knowledge of what he found was the sound of you biting down your nails. He sighed. He'd put you up here to get you to sleep after what happened at the glade's edge, but it looked like it'd been silly to ask you to relax so soon.
"Hey, babygirl."
You turned to look at him, eyes big and round and lips pulled into a frown. If Joel hadn't seen what he'd seen, hadn't known what he knew, he would have thought you were pouting in an attempt to endear yourself to him. But he knew different.
He took a seat on the bed, toeing off his boots. He didn't waste breath asking if you were alright, when he so clearly knew the answer. He didn't want to make you lie to him. He was slow and methodical in his movements, like he was with damn near everything he did around the farm. When both boots were off, he held them both by the pull straps and set them down near the end of the bed, beneath the frame lifting the mattress from the ground.
You were watching him, angry pink fingertips still and uncurled by your hips once more. He wasn't sure you even knew he'd captured your attention like this, and he tested that theory by running his large palms up and down the smooth expanse of his jeans. You shuddered, redness flushing your features as he drew attention to his lower half.
No time for paranoia, no time for sadness. Perhaps it's time for distraction.
"Come on over here, baby," he said in a low tone. You shivered and blinked a few times from your trance, so lost in the image of him that you'd forgotten he was really there. It made his chest hurt to think that you were still affected by the subspace he'd put you in that morning, how the incident at the treeline had sharply rescinded any peace you'd gotten from waking with him inside you.
You moved closer, and he held his hands out to you, encouraging you up on the thighs you were ogling just a second before. The warm weight of you settled in his lap, sharply warmer still at the apex of your thighs. But he'd get there soon, no doubt. With how your nipples were pebbling up through the bodice of your dress, and the way the flush on your cheeks had flooded your ears, neck, and chest, Joel couldn't help his mind wandering every which way.
There were no questions to answer here besides what are we doing tonight?
And Joel had a good idea what you wanted—no, needed.
"Legs are so tense, baby," he said, looking down (catching an eyeful of your chest) and squeezing your thighs with his hands, the way he'd done to himself just a moment before. Up and down the length of them, soft and warm and plush. That sharp heat touched him now, dripping from your pussy down to his blue jeans. "You need something from me?" he asked, teasingly.
"N-no…" you simpered, eyes fluttering as his fingertips pressed up, up, under the hem of the skirt. It made your heart skip a few beats, the promise of more but not enough all at once.
"No?" he said with a teasing quirk to his lips. "So if I flip up this pretty dress right now, I won't find you dripping and needy for me right here in my lap?"
You flushed scarlet, lips pouting outward as he teased. "It could. Um."
"It could what, babygirl? Tell daddy what it could be."
Your eyes fluttered shut in a spray of lashes against your delicate cheeks. "Could be your cum. From this morning."
That pulled a pleased growl right out of Joel's chest, his eyes darkening in the low lamplight of the bedroom. You shivered beneath his attention and his touch. "Much too late in the day for you to still have any'a me inside you, ain't it?"
The very thought of having—keeping!—any of himself inside you almost made Joel's mind white out into a lusty haze, but he wanted to watch you squirm on his lap. What was it he'd told you? I like to see 'em flinch.
That feeling was multiplied a thousand-fold with you. Just a hitch of your breath, hell, even getting your damn attention on him was enough to get him hard and horny like he was thirty years younger.
"Answer me," he said quickly, pinching your thigh to get you back down on earth from your daydreams. Another time, he'd let you fly high, but he needed you here with him, where he could control this outcome for you. No monsters, no shadows, no darkness but his own. Forget the shit outside your door and just live by the laws of your own space.
Joel had been thinking of the ecstasy he felt, the god-like power his mama would have smacked him silly for even indulging in. When he could pull orgasm after orgasm from his partners, when he could blind them and guide them through their dark with only his eyes open, when he could kiss away those hurts and tears as if they never existed, that was what Joel missed most.
You were offering him an opportunity to codify this house in a way he never thought he would again. You were staunchly chewing on your lip, refusing to answer him. It wasn't out of shame or humiliation, though he knew you liked when he would prod and poke at your affected state when you were horny enough.
Ain't time for shame, either.
"Do you trust me?" he whispered, cupping your jaw in one hand and forcing you to look up at him. He squeezed a little, puckering and separating your lips just enough to make his point. "Need a yes or no. Think carefully, doll." If this was something you weren't sure you wanted to try, if you couldn't handle this side of him—
"Yes."
Your answer was instantaneous. So you could talk, he noted to himself.
"I'll give you one more chance, babygirl. If I flip your skirt up right now and touch you, are you gonna be a dripping little mess like I think you are?"
"Mmnh…" you fought the word back into your mouth, near-shaking with control, even as you handed it over to him.
Written for Danktober 2022 Day 02: Daddy, Scurry, National Farm Animals Appreciation Day
A/N: This is a snippet from my upcoming Farmer Joel Miller series, which is set in an extremely canon-divergent setting after (most of) the events of TLOU1. I know there's a lot of hard feelings regarding Joel Miller fic and daddy kink, age gaps, damsels in distress, and/or reader-inserts being generally seen as naive/incapable. Cool. I don't care about those feelings! There's a lot of context I'm deliberately keeping from this story because it's not finished and I don't want to give away any plot. If you want to judge my fic out of context go right ahead with your wrong opinions. <3
Anyway. Enjoy.
[full danktober list here]
[farmer joel masterlist here]
"Don't go out too far! Almost lunchtime," Joel called.
"Got it, daddy!" you said, waving as you ran off to visit the animals. You stopped first at the barn, waving to the pigs and the cow and the horse within. They mostly ignored you, but that didn't stop your excitement at all. You didn't see Joel on the porch when you came back, most likely making lunch in the kitchen.
You lost track of time, and where you were, and why.
The goats were making you laugh. It was a strange sensation, laughing again. It had ramped up in its frequency as of late, this new sense of levity. You knew Joel was still getting used to it, both your newfound open affection and his reception to it. He was still remembering the steps to kindness and care, but you were still remembering how to accept it without suspicion or wariness.
You indulged in your happy giggles at the gate to the goatyard, watching them hop and trip about in the dirt. The sun was bright and warm today, glinting into your eyes from the tin roof of the chicken coop. The light pulled your focus, your feet moving on their own as the chickens became more and more interesting.
"Hello!" you called with a giggle, smiling at the bewildered clucking you received in reply. You watched the path of a mouse scurry out of sight of the chickens, only getting their attention when it had already escaped to safety.
Curiosity pulled you to follow the mouse into the tall grass surrounding the glade. You kept your eye on it as you ran, barefoot, through the field after it. It made little squeaking noises you were delighted by, which had you smiling as you ran full-tilt into danger.
The grass stopped underfoot suddenly, giving way to dead twigs and leaves and the loam of the forest floor. The mouse got too far away from you when you froze in terror, looking up to see the dark, hulking shape of something lurking just a short distance away.
It hunched over, looking as though it was wearing some ugly, rotted cape on its back. Wild and thorned bones protruded from its forehead, looking like a halo with how it faced you. Even in the day, its eyes glinted with furious red catlight, predatory and hungry.
It took a step toward you, shaking the earth beneath your feet, just like the last time.
You couldn't move, frozen in fear as it stalked toward you faster than you could track it.
A hand wrapped around your arm and yanked.
Safety was found just a few yards from the treeline, out of the shade of the thicket and back in the sun, which felt much cooler now than it was a moment ago. Joel held you to his chest, both arms wrapped around you as you watched a wretched, terrible claw stretch past the nearest tree in a swipe.
The second the claw was cast in sunlight, the thing shrieked, whether in pain or fury you didn't know, but it spurred Joel to get you on your feet and running to the house. It didn't follow, but you would not forget again how eagerly it waited for you.
Written for Danktober 2022 Day 15: Edgeplay, Armadillo, & National Grouch Day.
Woo! this will be the last farmer Joel Miller snippet I post before the real story goes up. There ARE two more farmer Joel ONESHOTS coming soon (as soon as tomorrow!) but they exist outside of the timeline of the story, though within the same universe. I'm trying to keep them all fairly spoiler-free right now.
warnings for knives, no blood is drawn. implications of suicidal thoughts.
If not, oh well.
Enjoy!
[full danktober list here]
[farmer joel series masterlist here]
"I can't do this."
"Yes, you can."
"You're so much bigger than me, it's not f—"
Joel fixed you with a look and crossed his arms in a truly unfair way that made him look even more broad than normal. You mirrored him, the end of the training knife poking uncomfortably into your armpit. The handle was wrapped in goatskin, the way all the other knives and tools he had were. This one was whittled from a piece of dark stained hardwood, just for you and just your size.
Just your size, that meaning: impossible to imagine using to defend yourself with.
"How in the hell did you survive this long without knowing how to use a knife?"
"I used a gun," you deadpanned. He rolled his eyes. "I've been out of the game a long time, okay? Since the world started to—"
"Enough."
"I said I was sorry about what happened, alright? I don't know how to tell you I won't leave the glade again." Your eyes met your feet, surrounded by soft green grass and the safety of whatever blessing kept this patch of land holy.
Joel's feet joined yours, stepping up close and taking your chin in his hand, tilting your gaze up to his. The expression he held was frighteningly deep, like those pictures of people diving over top of great holes in the earth, just one lapse in luck between them and hell itself. His eyes were dark on a good day, by emotion or by tricks of the light, but now, they held something like fear in the abyss of his irises.
"If you're hurt out here on my watch, I'm never going to forgive myself, sweet thing."
It made your chest ache to hear the confession. Just a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have told you his damn birthday if you'd carved it out of him, and now, you were his sweet thing. His hand opened a little flatter and slid around to the back of your head, pulling you into his chest. The second you were secure against him, he took a deep breath, like he'd been missing a lung in the form of you until he held you close.
"I won't get hurt if I stay in the glade."
"The boundaries of the glade only protect you from that thing, sweetheart. It don't protect you from any of the other monsters out there wantin' to come in."
You remembered cruel, cruel laughter. You remembered a pinch in your neck. You remembered hands tying you to a tree, and the hot wet scrape of skin and blood as you fought for your escape. You wondered if you were still somehow tied to that bloody tree, the slack on the rope just moments away from reeling you back to the teeth.
"Sides," Joel said, kissing your head. "I believe in an after, now. There's gonna be a time where we won't even need the glade to keep you safe, and we won't need a single bullet or blade to feel safe again."
He shuddered out this last confession, whispered it to your hair. What kind of man would whisper hope like a secret, but love like it was any different?
"Okay," you whispered into his chest, and he pulled you to the ground with him.
He faced the house, back to the forest. No use making you more afraid than you were.
"You know what this part's called?" he said, pulling your attention back to where he was holding up his own knife. It was shiny, sharpened to deadliness. There was no point in anything duller, or at least there didn't used to be.
"What part?" you mumbled, distracted by the tiny scars and never-healed bruises on his hands. His hands fascinated you to no end, strong as they were and intensely capable in all areas you'd seen them work.
One of those hands reached up and flicked your nose, making you flinch and huff.
"Horny little thing, pay attention."
You grumbled but nodded, shifting your attention to the weapon he held so confidently in his fingers. How could the point stay outside of his skin and not—oh, his fingers are just that callused up. He pointed to the flat edge of the knife, opposite the bladed edge. "What's that called, sugar?"
"Useless?" you said with a scoff.
"Cheeky," he scoffed right back, nipping you on your ear and pinching the tip of the blade in his fingers so he could take your hand and run it along the flat edge you'd just insulted. "This is called the spine."
"Books got spines. Don't mean they're useful on a knife."
"Will you always be difficult, or do I gotta take you over my knee?"
"We could find out…" you grinned, but turned back to his lesson after getting a goodnatured eyeroll.
"The spine and the handle are the only places you should ever try and touch with your bare hands."
"But you're touching them with your bare hands," you pointed out.
"You know daddy's got rules for you that he don't have to follow."
Your face flushed a deep color and nodded your understanding. "Only the spine and the handle."
"Good girl." He kissed the shell of your ear and moved your touch to where the knife started to swoop down into the slightly-hooked end of the blade. He had you touch the flatter side of the blade, and not where it had been ground into a second edge. "This is the swedge. It's there to help the point pierce easier into whatever you're stabbing."
"Less surface area," you murmured, getting another kiss to your ear as a reward.
"That's right. Now here's the grind line… don't wanna get it too far up or you'll lose the integrity of the blade. And I don't make myself out to be a forgemaster, so you gotta take care when you're whettin' it."
"Are you gonna show me how to do that?"
"Eventually. When I know you won't kill yourself tryna save yourself."
You huffed. He had such an opinion about your abilities, as if you weren't right there in his arms, having survived much of the same apocalypse as him, just on the other side of the country for the most part. "Just because I don't know how to use this weapon don't mean—"
"Did you know seventy percent of knife wounds, even before the outbreak, were fatal?"
He presents that fact to you calmly, like you were supposed to just absorb that.
"No, I didn't," you said, waiting for his point.
"Guns and bows and Molotovs and bombs, I've seen some lucky fuckers survive gettin' hit with. I've never met anyone get stabbed and come out of it the same way. Half the time it was their own damn fault, no fight about it. Shit, I was near-killed after gettin' impaled by rebar couple years back and that's close enough to a stab wound I still feel it sometimes."
Couple years back.
Joel didn't talk much about what he was doing right at the end of the end as some came to call it. It was a sensitive subject to him, anything from five years ago to now. Everything about him made you curious, but you knew there was nothing about you that could coax him into answering your questions about his past.
"I understand, Joel," you said softly. "I'll be careful."
"I know you will," Joel said in your ear.
The afternoon passed in calm instruction, words like choil and ricasso and tang passing from his lips to your ears as the breeze whistled through the trees. He quizzed you lightly, before moving on.
"I'm gonna show you two holds."
"Can—?" you cut yourself off, pulling your hands back toward your chest. His descriptions of the knife, stationary and deadly, had filled you with a healthy distrust of not only the knife but in your own coordination. You'd gotten soft, you knew that, and there was nothing you wanted less than to see that wild look of fear he'd fixed you with when he admitted he couldn't lose you.
"What is it?" he murmured, holding still.
"Can we use the training one? With the armadillo?"
He'd been halfway through the affirmative before your second sentence made him halt. "The what?"
"You carved it in here—arma… Oh that's not armadillo."
You felt him laughing before you heard him. "Amarillo." He threw his head back and laughed, squeezing his arms around your middle and pulling you closer, though you squirmed at being laughed at. You enjoyed the sound of his laughter much more than you valued your pride, anyway.
"You gotta work on your penmansh—knifemanship, Joel."
"Armadillo," he muttered to himself, shaking his head and starting up his laughter all over again. "You're somethin' else, sugar." He kissed the back of your head, and you were half-tempted to throw your head back and break his nose. You told him as such. "Oh, don't be a grouch," he chuckled.
"That's rich, coming from the biggest grouch I've ever met."
You tried holding onto your annoyance. But then he was smiling against your ear and breathing softly as his laughs died down.
"What'd you put Amarillo on the knife handle for?" you said, leaning back to look up at him. Though the trace of his smile still remained on his lips, his eyes started carrying sad, heavy clouds in them.
"It's a silly reason."
"Well, I like silly." You kissed his jaw, right over where the grays collected thickest.
"That you do." He stroked a hand down the back of your head. "I had a lot of dreams way back. Wanted to take a great big road trip along Route 66, just me and… Well. I wanted to take a roadtrip. See America, maybe go down to Mexico or up through Canada if I could. Sorta did, trekkin' from Boston to Seattle and back through the Cascades, damn."
"Did you go through Amarillo?"
"I did not."
"Oh," you looked down at the training knife, running your thumb over the deep gouges of letters he'd carved into the handle.
"Wanted to, though. Lotta museums out there, state park called Palo Duro. They had this… this crazy thing, called it Cadillac Ranch."
"Like the car?" you said, recognizing the name.
"One and the same. Someone, god knows who, they stuck about a dozen cars into the ground, looked like them carrots over there. Just like they sprouted up outta the ground, wheels and all."
"Why would they do that?!" you giggled.
"Artists, sweet thing. Sometimes that's the only answer you can give. Artists did that because artists did that."
"Like that stupid bean thing," you huffed.
"You've been to Chicago?" Joel said, his melancholy passing on.
"Few times, the QZ was pretty difficult to stay in but I had friends there. Then one day I didn't, and… suppose I took my own road trip after that."
He didn't offer any apologies, any condolences. You would've hit him for real if he had. But he knew the manners of the world, he knew the way things were.
"So I… after I… not too long ago, I started thinking of all the things I hadn't done. Places I never went, places that weren't really worth going to no more. Just dreams that I couldn't let go of without feeling…"
"Empty?" you supplied, knowing the feeling.
"Yeah…" he sighed, his hands twitching a little around you. "But one day, I was tryna fix up those shutters on the second floor. Kept fucking em up left and right,. I was too distracted by memories, by those dreams. I started letting myself focus on them instead of pushing them away, thought about the plans I had to go walk through Redwood National Forest in California. Go see where those little alien bears were, go see where… just to be there at the space between the mountains and the sea. I knew the dream was gone when I heard the news of Big Sur turnin' to ash. When I looked up again, the shutters were all fixed, better'n I think I coulda done it if I tried. At the end of it, I carved a little RNF in the corners, hung em up, they ain't failed me since."
"You put your dreams into em?" you said, looking up at him with a look you hoped he didn't misinterpret as pity or sympathy. It wasn't often he spoke this much.
He looked surprised, when you spoke. Like he had somehow forgotten he was speaking to someone. "I suppose so."
"And you were thinking about all those cars in the desert when you carved this?"
"I admit I was." He smiled at you, some sadness still darkening the lines about his eyes.
You thought quietly about what he said, and he seemed to think just as quietly on something else just as heavy and dark. You knew there was… something that had happened, right at the end of the outbreak. Some harrowing, bring-you-to-your-knees type event in his life that almost marked the very end of it. To hear of his dreams being carved into a million little headstones of the life he once had sparked a kind of alarm in your mind, something that told you with no proof, when the dreams run out, so will Joel.
"Can you promise me something, Joel?"
"Sweetheart, you know I can't—"
"It's not… it's nothing bad."
"I don't wanna promise what I can't keep."
"That's just it. Can you promise to keep… keep whatever dream you have of me, in you and not the things you fix and make? Please just keep holding onto it, whatever it is?" You didn't often express your nerves and dread and hopelessness over your fate being tied to that of the monster watching in the woods, but if Joel had to put his lost dreams to rest in things that could burn or rot, you wanted to rot with him, you wanted your memory to stay with him in his heart, not his hands.
You knew in that same innate way of the seriousness of his confessions that if he let your dreams and memory get drained into some carving, the next thing to get carved would be his neck. There was a very thin and fine line tethering him to this earth, fraying with every pass of a chisel or a knife.
Joel seemed to know that you knew his plan. His eyes shone with a mist he didn't dare let collect, blinking a few times and looking all over your face. He knew what you were asking. He was the only one who could know.
"Okay."
"Do you swear?"
Another time, another place, another girl asking him the same thing, Joel Miller would have lied.
Warnings: Dead Dove/dark fic, horror! death, reader & Joel are both killers, animal death (it’s not explicit but more so just implied), p in v (protect your genitalia!!), face slaps,m/m kissing I think that’s it, let me know if I missed something, all mistakes are mine! Not edited or beta’d!
Summary: Its the fall of 1969, it’s been five years since Chesterfield had a string of murders linked to the Scarecrow Killer. New to town, you moved into a little trailer out in the woods near the infamous Farmer Joel and his famous corn maze. . .
A/n: yea yea I know I said farmer Joel was a one shot. Well he wanted y’all to have more of him so enjoy
Nothing but shades of red, orange and yellow as far as you can see stretch on for miles and miles on either side of the road your currently driving down. Time of the Season by the Zombies is flowing out of your car speakers as you hum along, thrumming your thumbs on the steering wheel. It’s 8:25 am and your on your way to the town library where you work. You recently moved to Chesterfield a few months ago after a nasty breakup. Needing to do some soul searching, you went on a drive that lasted hours and just so happened to come across this cute little town. Low on gas and a hungry tummy, you decided to stop at the local diner for some pancakes and couldn’t help but fall in love. Now here you are just a few months later, living in a nice little trailer out in the woods a few miles out of town, working at the library. You got to spend all your time surrounded by books and then went home to peace and quiet. Well mostly quiet. You’ve always had these rather loud thoughts in your head, these urges to hurt. To inflict pain. You never acted on these urges, burying it deep within yourself. But living out in the woods, you were finally able to let these urges win. Nobody is gonna care if a wild squirrel goes missing.
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
Eyes popping open as a shiver runs through his body, Joel wakes up freezing. He goes to pull the blanket tighter around himself to fight off the cold. The heat must’ve stopped working at some point in the night judging by the way he can see his breath when he opens his mouth and let’s out a puff of air. Letting out an exhausted sigh, Joel reluctantly gets out of bed and starts to get ready for the day. He’s not very well versed in the mechanics of how to fix a heater so he’s decided to go to the library and see what info he can find about it.
The rumble of his truck engine roars as he pulls into the Chesterfield Library parking lot. Coming to a halt in a spot, he cuts the engine and gets out, slamming the truck door. Standing by his truck, Joel looks around, taking in his environment. He’s not a fan of having to come into town. Ever since he last killed in 1965 he’s been very leery of the townsfolk. Some might call it paranoia even though Joel knows there’s no way for anyone to trace the murders back to him. He is very thorough in his work, yet he can’t help but be suspicious of other people.
Walking through the doors, a burst of heat slapping him in the face. His eyes landing on a pretty little thing sitting behind the front desk, just off to the side. Your beauty stopped him in his tracks, just standing there, unable to take his eyes off of you. Someone clears their throat behind him, causing Joel to blink a few times to break the spell you unknowingly cast on him. He turned his head to see someone trying to get past him, Joel nods at the person as he moves out of the way. Scuffling his feet, he makes his way to the desk your sitting at when he clears his throat. You look up at him with these beautiful wide eyes and the prettiest smile on your lips, Joel almost forgets what he came here for.
“Hi - i um Hello. I am looking for books on how to work on heaters please.” He manages to sputter out, eyes darting every which way refusing to look you in the eye.
Your smile widens, “Hi! Ohmygosh! You’re Farmer Joel right? You have the famous corn maze I’ve been hearing about? Actually I’m pretty sure we’re neighbors! Haha! What a small world!” You ramble, noticing his eyes stop on your face with a look on his face that says he’s either got bad constipation or he absolutely hates people interactions and you won’t shut up, “oh heaters! Yes! Yea we have a whole section in the back on home repairs and such. You should be able to find something. It’s straight back and to your left, I can take you there if you’d like?”
Grunting, he shakes his head no, “uh n- no. I got it. Thanks.” He says in a gruff voice before walking off to the back.
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Sliding the key into your front door, you can’t wait to get inside and drown yourself in some wine after the day you had. Joel Miller. The Joel Miller came into your library and you spoke to him. Like actual words came out of your mouth and his ears heard them. Why are you like this?? He’s just a man! But he’s so stupidly handsome and hot and oh those salt and pepper curls of his and that patchy beard you wish you felt between your thighs all too often. You knew exactly who he was when he walked in this afternoon. Shortly after moving in, you decided to go exploring around in the woods and came across a barn. You saw the barn before you saw the nice little two story farmhouse off to the side a little ways away. Walking up to the back of the barn, you heard grunting and decided to take a peak into a crack in the wood. That’s when you first saw him. His back was to you as he chopped wood. He had a red flannel on with the sleeves pushed up so his forearms were on display. Sweat dripping down his neck as he pulled the axe back and swung down cutting a thick piece of wood in two. He dropped the axe and turned to the side as he wiped his brow. That’s the very first time you saw him. Lost in a daze you accidentally stepped on a twig, trying to get on your tippy toes to get a better look and he quickly snapped his head in your direction. Holding your breath, the both of you seemed to stop moving entirely. You staring at him and him staring back, even though you knew he couldn’t have actually seen you, you were still terrified he did. That night you couldn’t stop bringing yourself to ecstasy. Orgasm after orgasm, your fingers were all pruned from your juices after you were done.
Snapping back to reality, you fling yourself onto your bed. Looking up at your ceiling, you let out a long, exhausted sigh,
“What the hell is wrong with you? He is a fucking farmer for Christ’s sake. Not fucking John Lennon. Ughhh”
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It’s already a quarter past 4 and Joel still hasn’t managed to fix his heater. He borrowed several books that are now all strewn across his kitchen floor as he tries for the umpteenth time to fix this damn thing. On his knees, bent over, Joel’s cranking a wrench, using all his strength to get this damn bolt off. The wrench slips causing Joel to fall forward. Grabbing the wrench, he throws it across the room, “Fuck!” He yelled before getting up and stomping outside. He is furious! It shouldn’t be this hard to fix a stupid fucking heater! And of course he doesn’t have any more time to waste on it because he has to open up his corn maze. People are gonna start pulling in soon.
The rest of the night isn’t any nicer to the old man either. Had several teenagers come through being rude as hell. Although it’s been awhile, Joel is still so worked up he’s decided he’s gonna grab the last little group of teens going through and kill them to let off some steam. It’s already after 9pm and everyone else is gone. He starts off doing what he usually does, he turns off the outdoor lights before making his way through the corn stalks to grab his first victim.
It was three teen boys. Football players. With loud, obnoxious mouths on them and attitudes that clearly show they’ve never been told no a day in their lives. The first two were pretty easy kills. They had separated from the third boy, apparently to sneak in some alone time with each other. Joel found them making out under the moonlight. He struck them with a pitchfork, it went in one boys head and through the other boys head, getting both of them at once. As he’s dragging their bodies inside his barn, the third boy stumbles upon him. Joel immediately drops them and goes to lunge towards the boy. Joel isn’t young, he can’t move like he used too. But before Joel even makes it out of his barn, the boy suddenly stops as if he hit a wall and then Joel hears a thwack and the kid falls down with a sickening thud. Joel’s eyes go huge when he sees you standing on the other side of the kid holding a 2 x 4 piece of wood. Frozen, all he can do is watch you as you raise the wood above your head and bring it down, Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! The kids body laying there, his head resembles a pumpkin that just fell off the roof of a house. Blood and brains everywhere, you had blood splatter covering your face, brain matter covered your clothes, hands were a dark red. After the third bash, you drop the wood, stand up straight and look at Joel with those beautiful wide, doe eyes.
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It was late when you decided to go for a walk. You just so happen to find yourself walking up to Joel’s barn when the lights go out. You heard a faint slick squelching sound. You quickly run to the side of the barn and flatten yourself against the wall. You see a 2 x 4 piece of wood laying on the ground that you decide to pick up in case you need to defend yourself. With your back to the barn you quietly side step until your at the corner of the building. Taking some deep breaths , you finally get yourself it somewhat calmed before you take a peek around the corner. There’s a light on in the barn and that’s the only light source other than the moon. That’s when you see Joel dragging two bodies by the ankles towards the barn.
Oh my god. Joel? The man of your dreams dragging bodies? Does this mean what you think it means? Do the two of you share this little activity in common?
Before you think or say or do anything, some teenager comes running out of the corn maze and comes to an abrupt halt just a body’s length away from Joel. He looks absolutely frightened at what he sees. Joel immediately drops the ankles and raises his hands up in surrender, his brows raising before he lunges towards the kid. The kid takes off heading in your direction. Thinking quick on your feet you pop out of your hiding spot, stunning the young man before you thwack him in the head. His body falls to the side, hitting the cold, hard ground with a heavy thud. Unable to stop yourself, you raise the board above your head and bring it down hard on the kids head repeatedly. The thrill of decimating his head is just, ugh! The best fucking high of your life! The way his head just smooshes, the blood and the brains flying out. There’s just something satisfying about it.
Once you’re sure he’s deader than a door nail, you drop the board and straighten back up. A sigh of relief and a small smile lights up your face as you look at your little scene. You remember where you are and you look up and your eyes go right to Joel as he just stands there, staring at you with those big, brown eyes. A look of admiration and shock on his face, that’s when it hits you, he didn’t know you were here. Oops. Well now he knows.
Despite being covered in blood and brains, you take charge and walk right up to Joel, grab his face and plant the biggest kiss on his lips.
Joel’s shocked as hell. You’re the pretty little librarian from earlier. What the hell were you doing at his place? And what the hell just happened? The way you took that kid out was. . Well it was hot. Watching you beat that kids head in with this deranged look on your face made his dick throb. If he thought he wanted you when he first saw you, well then he’s gotta have you now and by the kiss you’re giving him right now, it seems you want him just as bad.
Your tongue pushes in between his luscious lips as you enthusiastically lick the inside of his mouth, tasting him. When you feel him return the kiss just as enthusiastic, you can’t help but let out a muffled moan. You were already horny thinking about the handsome farmer on your walk over here and then getting to act on an urge has you dripping wet. Joel wraps his arms around you as the two of you continue to lick and taste each other. You feel his hands move down and grip the back of your thighs, so you grab onto his shoulders and let him hoist you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Joel carries you inside the barn, pushing you up against the wall just inside the door. Your lips on his never breaking the whole time. You grind your cunt onto the front of Joel, feeling his huge erection through his overalls. Joel breaks away, leaving a kiss on the side of your mouth as he trails kisses down your neck before biting down on the sensitive part of your neck and sucking.
You let out a loud moan as he bites down on your neck, gripping the curls at the base of his head. You can’t hold back any longer, you use your body weight and push against him, making him break the connection of his lips on your neck as he stumbles back. You land on your feet, gripping his flannel as he slowly stumbles back on his ass. Immediately you straddle his thick waist as he lands on his butt. You push the top half of him down on this little pile of hay he landed on, still gripping his flannel, you give him a devious smile
“You like this baby? Huh? You like watching me kill? Does that turn you on?” You say in a seductive voice as you lean forward, putting a hand around his neck, lightly choking him. Joel looks up at you with the horniest look in his eyes, so turned on he can’t form the words he wants to say. He lets out a moan like grunt at your question, licking his lips.
You give him this empathetic pout. “Oh poor baby. Look at you. Pathetic.” You pronounce that last word with venom laced in your voice. You raise your other hand and slap his face. Not too hard but hard enough his face turned to the side and his cheek got red where you hit him. He turns his face back to look at you, shocked.
“Use your words big boy,” you slap his face again, “You like this baby? You wanna fuck my tight cunt? Yea you do baby. I wanna feel that huge dick your hiding fill me up.” You say, a moan escaping as Joel thrusts up under you.
“Fucking hell girl, you keep this up I’ll give you this dick every damn day darlin’” Joel finally manages to say. Moving his hands off your hips, Joel scrambles to undo his overall straps to pull it down. Your quick to lift up off him and help pull them down to reveal his boxers that your quick to pull down, Joel lifting his hips to help you remove them.
You swear your eyes bulge out of your head when you see his cock. At least a good seven inches, decent girth and uncut. Your mouth drops open as you literally drool at the sight of him. Lifting up your dress, you spit in your hand and go to lube up his dick. You weren’t wearing panties since you took them off after work so you could finger your poor pussy relentlessly to thoughts of Joel. Gripping his cock, you sink down on his hard length, the stretch of taking him hurts so good. Your barely past the tip and already your eyes are rolling back. You’re no virgin by any means but you’ve only ever had one partner. And his dick was no where near the size or girth of Joel’s. You almost have to stop mid way down and take a deep breath so you don’t hurt yourself.
Joel’s big, meaty hands are gripping your hips as he bites his bottom lip trying his best to restrain himself from fucking up into your wet heat. He can tell by the look on your face he’s a lot to take. Finally you sink all the way down on his cock.
Letting out a moan, you’ve never felt more full. You clench your pussy a couple of times earning an unabashed moan from this big hunk of a man before he moves his hips up, pushing his cock deeper into you.
“J- Joel ohmygod I can feel you in my stomach! Ooooh nngh oh Joel fuck me!”
Joel puts his hand on your lower stomach and presses down as he moves his hips up, causing you to go up and down on top of him.
“Fuck darlin I can feel me in there too. You’re so tight baby f-fuuucccckkkk ride me darlin’ come on ride. this. old. cowboy.” Joel says, punctuating the last few words with a thrust. You manage to collect yourself, still on your knees straddling him, your hands finding purchase on his chest, you begin to rock back and forth before moving up and down. You find a rhythm going back and forth between the motions that feels so good. His cock kissing your cervix as your tight walls hug him. Joel puts his thumb up to your mouth and you take it, sucking his digit. The both of you groaning at the erotic moment. Joel takes his thumb out and moves down to your clit where he begins to rub small, precise circles around your button. It takes no time for your pleasure to build. Actually you were already rather close just from how good his cock felt penetrating you.
“Oh god Joel yes! Yes! Fuck don’t stop!” You yell as you begin to ride him harder, your pussy gripping his cock even tighter, “f-fill my cunt up! I-I want you deep inside of me baby! Please! Oh fuck please!”
Groaning at hearing you say you want his cum deep inside of you has Joel’s eyes rolling back. Just a few more circles on your clit has you over the edge, coming hard on his dick. You slump forward, laying your chest on his as he wraps his arms around you, holding you to him as he begins to thrust up into your wet cunt. Feeling your pussy spasm around his cock, it takes no time before Joel’s shooting his thick load deep inside of you. You lay your forehead on his as you both close your eyes, breathing heavily, coming down from your high.
“Darlin’ I don’t even know your name but I’d love to marry you.” Joel says with a chuckle. Giggling you tell him your name as you sit up and move to get up off of him. Your legs still jelly so you kinda fall over to the side and lay down on the hay pile next to him.
“When I saw you at the library today you took my breath away. You’re so pretty.”
You’re little post sex smile grew into a huge grin, “I have to be honest, I live not that far away from you. Not long after I moved in, I went explorin and found your barn and saw you chop some wood. I’ve had eyes for you ever since.”
Your little confession made Joel blush.
“Would you like to come inside my house? I can clean you up and I can put a pot of coffee on and we can talk? Unless you wanna leave?” Joel asks sheepishly.
“I would love too!” You say excitedly before placing a soft kiss on his lips.
When the two of you finally got up and went inside, you guys talked until the sun came up. You never did go back home after that. Soon his house became yours too.
A/n: they got married and lived happily ever after the end. Jk you’ll be seeing these lovebirds again thanks to @neverwheremoonchild for planting an idea seed in my head already lol anyways I hope y’all enjoyed! I appreciate all the likes/comments/reblogs! You guys are the best!😘♥️
Farmer Joel enthusiasts: @multiversed-daydreamer @patti7dc @neverwheremoonchild @beefrobeefcal @toxicanonymity @lumoverheaven
Seeing this made me think of your farmer Joel story and how there were people annoyed by the age gap so you made it bigger haha. Anyways I hope that this gives you a little chuckle!
Oh my god you’re absolutely correct fjebfjjwjfhejjgd another thing that’s gonna absolutely stir people up:
