#fascinating human

[dandelions-could-never]

What is this man planning…

[dimples-of-discontent]

I always thought that Misha was more comfortable than Jensen with the SPNFamily. What do you mean when you so he's more private than Jensen??

Hi friend! That probably wasn’t very clearly expressed. Let me try to explain my thoughts (which are just mine, obviously, and I’m open to other viewpoints). Fundamentally, I meant to distinguish between “Misha Collins” the dear, wonderful actor we see at cons and on social media and hear talking passionately about causes that are dear to him and “Dmitri Krushnic” who I don’t think we see often, if at all. There’s that clip of Misha talking about how much of an introvert he actually is--how he’d rather stare at a wall than do almost anything--and to me that person is Dmitri, who we don’t know. That’s kind of the character Misha wrote for himself in the mockumentary (which, honestly, I think is the most revealing thing J2M have ever done) and I think that’s more like who he is offstage, off-camera, off social media. 

So although Jensen has a persona (a very hyper-masculine, Dean-like persona) for cons and PR too I don’t see it as quite as much of a departure or sustained performance as Misha’s. As I think I have said before, Jensen is actually quite naturally vulnerable and that can come out pretty easily, including with fans, if he’s feeling secure and not put on the defensive. But you do get the sense that sometimes you are really hearing or seeing Jensen talk and express his feelings, which is less true with Misha. Misha is very compassionate and sensitive and articulate and passionate. But he will tend to undercut or undermine most of the serious things he says about himself. Jensen’s type of defensiveness is more easily identifiable and also more easily dismantled. Misha’s is deeply ingrained and not something he would give up easily. Often Jensen is the one who threatens the hold Misha has on that mask--the one who is perhaps most likely to prompt Misha to act vulnerable or reveal more than he meant to--rather than the other way around, which is why you get Misha being anxious during Cockles or J2M panels.

So, that’s not really about how they feel about fans/fan culture but about how they feel showing themselves in public. In terms of fan interactions, I do think Misha is much more comfortable with fandom life/culture. I actually think Jensen tries actively to know as little about fandom life and culture as he reasonably can (while still attending conventions, signing fanart, etc.) while Misha is fascinated by it from an intellectual perspective. Questions like “what is celebrity?” or “what makes one piece of art more valid than another?” are ones that I feel he’s constantly engaging in a very playful way. 

I have said before that I sometimes think “Misha Collins” is just an elaborate piece of performance art and...I kind of mean it? But it’s not a horrible thing! It’s smart as fuck! Like when Misha gives out a phone number for GISHWHES and has people call it just to see who will do it and what they will say it’s both a social experiment and a performance (and arguably a demonstration of his own power; he does call himself the “overlord”). Or when he sends out DM invitations at random to people involved in GISH just to see what they say when a “celebrity” talks to them...as though there is such a line between the category of “person” and of “celebrity” that they are conceptually distinct species. Anyway, this is going on too long and I haven’t fully organized my thoughts, but my point was that Misha is absolutely immersed in fan culture in a way Jensen definitely isn’t but the idea that he’s “comfortable” with it doesn’t sound exactly right, even though I do believe he likes and respects us and our opinions. I think he’s playing with it and fascinated by it and, likely, thinking some very smart things about it that I hope he will share someday. 

But I think the actual answer to your question is just in the first paragraph so apologies to you and anyone else who read all the way through this. 😉