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Hewwo! Currently I have an unnatural obsession with Brian O’Conner atm n I read ALL that u have to post on him. So can u make some 1shots on the newest addition to the family and Carson n Brian navigate life as new parents, maybe even throw a little vacation for the 2 of them while rest r taking care of baby Jessie😘

BABY STEPS

Part 2

WARNINGS: mentions of postpartum depression and angst.

——

“No, no, Jessie don’t touch mama’s hair when you’re trying to — and you’ve done it,” Carson groaned, when some baby food got in her hair. Jessie babbled in her high chair. A silicone bib was wrapped around her little neck and a confused look was written on her chubby face. “Now it’s all in my braids.”

“Digging the new look,” Brian teased as he jogged into the room, having heard his wife’s yell. The 13 month year old, squealed when she saw her dad. “Jessie, have you been causing trouble? You know your mommy’s hair is her pride and joy.”

“Don’t say that Brian," Carson grumbled out, trying to clean out her braids.

His jokes only irritated her, he knew that.

“She won’t know," Brian didn't see the harm in trying to lighten the mood and picked up their daughter after taking off her bib, smiling brightly and broadly when she mirrored his experience with her baby teeth.

“She understands more than you think. She’s got your big beady eyes — I’m kidding baby, you know I think they’re adorable,” she quickly corrected herself upon catching her daughter's frown. “See.”

“Don’t mock her," Brian playfully scolded, “Don’t mock me.” he turned to his princess, tickling her tummy. “Mommy’s being mean ain’t she?”

“She likes you more than me," Carson shrugged, standing up and pinning her hair up.

Brian quietly scoffed as he gently bounced their daughter, “No, she doesn’t.” he never understood why she kept saying that. “She loves us equally. You just gotta be more patient with her.”

“It’s easy for you to say that, you leave the house more than I do.”

Brian sighed, “You know what I mean. Just be more …”

“Patient?” Carson snapped back, trying to clean up the mess their daughter made.

All day, every day she felt exhausted, tired and even more frustrated with everything, especially with her husband, which meant they were rarely intimate.

“Maybe next time you feed her you tie up your hair I don’t know — wait, Sonny," he called out, watching as she folded her arms and glowered at him.

“I don’t need your shit right now Brian," she hissed, trying not to startle their daughter who picked up more words recently. “You aren’t here every day. I have to do so much around the house. We have a dog that does as much damage as our daughter —“

“— she doesn’t cause damage. Ultra’s a dog and she’s a baby what did you expect?” Brian exclaimed.

Jessie stared between them in confusion as she was placed back in her highchair.

“More support. I need more help from you. That’s what I expected. No, in fact, that’s what you promised me.” She had expressed to him that they would share equal responsibilities before they decided to keep their baby. She feared motherhood because she never had a mom growing up. Brian’s parents were flaky so he told her that they would do their best together. At times she would regret agreeing. “Every day I have to tidy up 5 times. I wake up early to her cries and screams, I prepare her food, prepare the dog's food, our food, all while you’re out —“

“Working? Providing for us. And everything you said, that’s what you’re supposed to do. That’s your job.”

Brian's eyes snapped shut when he realised his mistake.

Carson slowly nodded to herself, “Wow. Thanks, Brian.”

“You know what I mean," he tried, staring at her apologetically, "I'm sorry."

“Yeah, I do know what you mean," Carson exhaled. “Just forget I said anything. Jessie needs to be put down for her nap.”

She approached their daughter, missing the confusion on her husband's face.

“She just ate isn’t that a bit too soon?”

Carson carefully picked up Jessie, who quickly started fussing. Stay calm, please stay calm. She would tell herself and Jessie. Sometimes she wouldn't think of anything else.

“I’ve got her on a schedule. She needs to stick with it so I can get some me time because asking you for help is too much apparently," she gritted, not hearing the whimpering from Jessie.

“Don’t get like that, I’m trying to help when I can," Brian threw his hands up in the air.

“Well, it’s not good enough. You’re not here for me. Not as much as you promised. And some days I am losing my fucking —“ Jessie started to cry, “No. No, don't cry.”

“It’s okay baby,” Brian neared them, taking her tiny hand as tears streamed down her face.

Jessie didn't want to be held, no, she didn't want to be in her mom's arms. That was clear.

“I’m sorry Jess," Carson repeated, for what felt like an hour.

But only a minute went by.

She wanted to cry. She wanted nothing more than to cry, but she couldn't she had other things to do. Her throat was drying up, and her eyes blinking rapidly.

Only when Brian took Jessie did she start to calm down.

Carson had to tear her eyes away from the soft and tender sight.

Brian was a good dad. He loved singing and playing with his daughter whenever he could.

And it only made Carson feel worse.

“She’s good, aren't you princess?" Brian bounced her, "I’ll put her down and we can talk.”

Carson sat down in her chair, with tears pooling in her eyes. She hated it, not now, go away, please. Fuck, she felt exhausted, useless, confused.

Brian turned to his wife, panicking at the sadness flashing over her face. She turned so he wouldn’t see, but he could.

“What’s the point?” Carson sighed, rubbing her face, “Nothing's gonna change.”

“I wanna help," Brian knew he needed to do more.

“Until you can’t and it’s me that’s left to do everything. Like I’m supposed to right?” Carson drawled with a sniffle and stood up again.

“Sonny, can you just wait a second. I’m sorry about what I said.”

Carson waved him off, “I’m going to go and get this food out of my hair. You know, my pride and joy, right?"

Brian cursed herself when she left the room. He offered his daughter a small smile when she leaned her head against his shoulder and eyes drooped.

Nap time.

He could do that, he could follow his wife's schedule, even if it was a little. He needed to help.

He put down Jessie in her Princess crib. Princess Jasmine posters were all over the room, she even had a little doll that she clung to.

Brian pressed a kiss to her head as she drifted to sleep, "Daddy loves you. Mommy loves you too. She's tired and Daddy needs to do more."

Shortly after he left the nursery and pulled out his phone, looking around before dialling.

“Hey," he greeted, glad that his wife was locked away in their room.

“Wassup Brian?” Suki's voice tore through the phone.

“I need some help. Carson needs to get out for a few days. The house is driving her crazy.”

“The house or you?”

“Alright, alright, I was thinking of going on a trip just us two. You up babysitting, and looking after Ultra?”

“Sure, you paying me right," he heard her laughing.

Brian groaned, “Suki.”

“Me and Tej can do it. Don’t worry. Just book the trip and pack her bags. I know she needs this.”

Brian frowned, “What’s she said?”

“Mind your business. Now go and talk to your wife.”

——

a/n:

thank you for the suggestion! it was so cute to write. I didn’t expect it to turn so angsty, but I kinda feel like this is where their early stages of parenthood would go to, considering Brian would work and Carson would stay at home. They’re living a normalish life and Carson is having to deal with so much.

I also feel like if Brian planned a trip to go somewhere, he would feel like that would solve everything but Carson might just get worse. She feels like she doesn’t have his support because he simply isn’t there all the time.

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