There is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your destruction.
This is your birth.
Chapter: Prelude
“You can’t just let it go unchecked Mark, it’s dangerous, you could end up hurting someone accidentally! Think of your daughters!”
This argument again, Sophie curled up tighter as she sat outside the bedroom door, Sadie seated next to her
“What is she talking about?”
“I dunno, maybe if you stayed quiet and listened…” Sophie didn’t make a habit of offering Sadie to spy with her, she was horrible at it.
“It’s not in my head anymore, you know that, you’ve known that for years. And even when it was I could control it fine. It’s fine Karen, I swear.” He sounded mad, Sophie was concerned. Whatever they were talking out was something that seemed important, even if her dad dismissed it. She was worried, she knew he would never try to hurt her but her mom made it seem like it was going to happen any day now.
“What is he talking about?”
“Shhh!”
“And I also had a better way of observing you then. Mark, this isn’t a matter to be taken lightly. You should be somewhere where you can be watched over.”
“Yeah? And where exactly is that.”
“Mark, it’s for the better.”
“So they can use me? You’re insane.”
“They’ll find us eventually! They’ll probably be kinder if you just give in. Then they won’t find the girls either. It’s better for everyone.”
“I will put a bullet in my head before they lay hands on me, don’t doubt me on that. They have no reasons to touch the girls, you’re over thinking. At worse if they show up here you can take them and run. There’s havens, they’ll take you in.”
“The girls shouldn’t have to go through that.”
“It’s a worse case scenario, it’s likely it won’t happen. Just please stop worrying. Okay?”
“Okay…”
“Good.”
Sophie knew the conversation was over, that she had to get up in run. It didn’t seem Sadie picked up on that. By the time their dad exited the room Sophie had hid, but her sister was still in plain view.
The worst spy.
“Sadie? Did you hear that?”
“Sophie was… she was just here. I’m sorry daddy, it was her idea. She just wants to blame it on me clearly.”
“Sophie?”
She knew better than to hide, she came out with her head hung.
“I’m sorry… it’s just…”
“She does this all the time! It was my first time listening.”
He just sighed and shook his head, pulling both the girls in for a hug.
“Hey, it’s okay, we’ll be okay. I promise. Your mom’s just... she’s nervous. Not used to not being in control of everything. She’ll lighten up, I promise.”
Sophie nodded, she could tell her sister did too. It didn’t change her worry. From what it sounded like her mom wanted to send him off, she didn’t want to lose her dad again. It was the worst time of her life and she’d give anything not to see him go. Though she was still scared, why would he try to hurt them? He wouldn’t, not ever, that couldn’t be true.
“How about I make you two hot chocolate? Huh?”
They both excitedly ran off after that. It didn’t take much for Sophie to forget.
He didn’t want it to have to come this, he really didn’t, but for his own safety he knew it needed to be done. Running around with no shelter wasn’t the best idea, but it seemed it was something that needed to be done. Karen was becoming too insistent, if she found a way to contact advent it would be over for him. He didn’t want to put his daughters at risk without someone protecting them, but it seemed that was the way she wanted it. He had knowledge he couldn’t let fall into advent’s hands, and she damn well knew that, but it didn’t seem as if she cared.
He was trying to get a few things together, he didn’t plan on taking much more than a small pack. Karen was busy downstairs with the girls, probably trying to force Sophie to learn how to read again. He had time to go through their room and pick out things that were important. A few sweaters, heavy coat, heavy blanket.
And then he turned around and was greeted by Sophie watching him. She looked ready to cry. He hadn’t really came up with an explanation for all of this yet, it looked like the time for that was right now. He opened his arms, letting her walk over and wrap hers around him.
“You said you weren’t leaving again.” Quiet, he didn’t realize she knew how to be this quiet.
“Things, things change Sophie. It’s not safe for me here.” He hugged her tightly, trying his best to be able to make up for things.
“I came here to hide, because mom’s hitting me again. And now you’re leaving?” He leaves the girls with her for less than an hour and Sophie is already complaining about her getting mean, he couldn’t leave her to this, it wasn’t fair. Taking her wouldn’t be safe either. There’d probably be no medical care, and Sophie got sick if there was even a drop of water on her and it got super cold. He should just stay, but she made that impossible, it seemed there was no way out.
“Mom hit you, why?”
“Because I don’t want to read, and I’m stupid and…” It felt like she stopped breathing.
“Sophie?”
“She called me a failure.” His mind was made then, he couldn’t leave her. It would be hard, but he couldn’t leave her to this.
“And what about Sadie, is she going after her?”
“No, she only praises her. She’s so smart I’m pretty sure mom is happy either way.” Sadie was safe, he figured that. At least he wouldn’t have two kids to worry about.
“Okay, I’ll get stuff together for you, don’t let mom know. I won’t leave you behind this time, not with her.”
She just nodded her head before making way to his bed. “I’m going to hide here, she won’t think to look for me here.”
“Alright kid, I promise you, things will get better. We’ll make it, okay?” He didn’t know if he was convincing her or himself, but either way it felt like it was something that needed to be said.
“Yeah! I know you wouldn’t hurt me. You love me too much. You’ll make sure I’m safe.” It was reassuring to hear, at least. One person believed.
Getting away wasn’t the easiest thing. He thought of hiking when it was just him, but he knew Sophie wasn’t going to be able to keep up with him and they wouldn’t make it far. The car was easily trackable, but it seemed like the best bet.
Their house was out in the woods well hidden. It was always convenient but it ended up working out well for the past five years, he hated to leave. He knew trying to chase Karen out would be impossible, at least Sadie would be safe.
Sophie was passed in the back seat, almost immediately after she said she’d stay up with him. He was glad, her laying down prevented anyone from seeing her if they just glanced in, she was safer.
The gas tank in the car was still pretty full, when Mark went for supplies he always made sure it was somewhere he could reach on foot. (Getting out of the woods was too hard on bike, though he did it a few times for longer occasions.) The car would have to be left eventually, but hopefully it could get them to a point where he could find a safe place to make camp.
The first stop was in the mess of what used to be their nearest town. Mark finally had a use for the drugs he came by when he was making his way back to his family after xcom’s fall. Trading for canned goods seemed like a good idea, he wouldn’t dare take his supply from home. He might’ve been mad at Karen, but threatening her survival wasn’t very fair for her. Finding a way to get food was when it was clear he was safe to leave.
It took him about an hour to get there. His contact waiting for him. He nodded once he was out of the car.
“Look, I know we agreed to trade for food, but if you have any medicines that can be used for pain, I had to take my daughter with me, I can double what I offered.” It was worth being upfront, he had to try.
“Could just give her some of this morphine, I’m sure she’d like that.”
“She’s ten.” If he wasn’t trying to make a deal, he probably would’ve punched the guy.
“Right, ten, never too young for the drug addiction, you really should just let her have the fun, how long do you think she’s going to last? A few more years? Don’t kid yourself, we’ll all be dead soon enough.”
“Doesn’t mean I should offer her less than the best chance possible.” He knew the game, and knew it wasn’t worth getting upset over. The man just laughed.
“I can throw them in, have a gun for her? I can offer that for free, wouldn’t want the girl unprotected.” It wasn’t a bad idea, she did need a way to protect herself. He could teach her how to use psionics instead-
No, the gun was a better idea.
“Please? Would be nice. Know anywhere safe?”
“Maybe a days drive away, up north a little, there’s not much advent control. You’d be safe from them there, they don’t like the heavy woods and cold.” He handed Mark the gun and bag of foods after throwing the medicine on top. He smile brightly when he saw the drugs.
“Washington state area?” Mark took the bag and placed it in the trunk, hoping that it being out of sight would keep them safer.
“Something like that, it’s winter there. Probably have to find a new car, shouldn’t be hard for you. Girl know her dad’s a murder?”
“She doesn’t need to know of my past, I can’t put that on her.”
“Hmm, think this is where we part ways, best of luck my friend.” He bowed, going back to his own vehicle.
Mark sat in the car, Sophie started sitting up. She looked confused for a second, and then scared.
“Dad?” Her voice sounded dry, he could only hope she wasn’t already getting sick.
“Still me Sophie, you’re still safe, go back to sleep.”
“Okay, love you.” She curled back up, her purple rabbit wrapped up in her arms.
“Love you too Sophie.”
He found a place that seemed quiet enough, he needed to at least take a break from driving. There was also the matter of teaching Sophie how to pitch a tent, and make fires.
Oh, and not to mention, the bright idea to teach his ten year old daughter how to shoot a gun.
Sophie was awake and chattery, treating it like an everyday average car ride. Pointing out sights, getting excited when there was something pretty. She was amazed when she saw the first city center, Mark was just happy to pass by it unnoticed. He could explain to her later what they were, let her have her pretty things.
The tent part was easy, Sophie picked that up quickly. Fire was… well… one of those moments where it was kinda bullshit he promised himself that he wouldn’t use his psionics around his daughter. She needed to learn how to make a fire normally though, it was for the better.
Sophie was happy sitting by the fire, eating a can of spaghettios. It wouldn’t be daylight much longer, he needed to get the fire out and well, needed to teach her about the gun while he could.
Sophie looked unhappy when he started to put out the fire, but it wasn’t something he could help. She reluctantly helped him after a bit, even if it was more of her clinging to him for warmth.
“Hey Sophie, this is going to seem weird, but this is something you gotta learn.” Her eyes brightened up, at least she seemed excited. “I know it’s hard for you to see, but-” He pulled the pistol of of the car’s glove box, Sophie didn’t look happy now. “You have to learn to protect yourself.”
She at least took it when he handed it to her, even if she look terrified. He showed her proper positioning, where to hold it, what to do.
“You want to try firing it?” He pulled his arms away from her, content that she could hold her position herself.
“Uh, maybe?”
“See that tree? Aim at it, try to hit the hole in it if you want.”
She breathed heavily for a few seconds before firing the pistol, it barely missing the hole, he had to admit it was impressive.
“Keep trying till you hit it.”
It took a few attempts, but eventually she was able to. She seemed proud of it.
“You want this back?” She handed him the pistol.
“No, I have my own, you keep that just incase. Put it in your bag.”
She nodded her head, at least she was seeming more happy about it. Maybe things could be okay. If they ran into a pack of advent at least he’d have help. Trying to stay away from psionics would be hard enough.
Once she was done they curled up in the tent together. Sophie seeming very happy to be able to sleep curled up with her dad. He couldn’t say he was upset either, it helped remind him that they were there, and that they made it. It would be okay. He just had to keep telling himself that.
They managed to find a place to stay, it was far enough away from home, and any city centers, that Mark felt they were safe. Sophie was happy, it seemed that advent really hadn’t got to this area. There were still a lot of animals running around, Sophie was good at being quiet and watching them. They weren’t low on food yet, he didn’t need to kill them. One of the very few things he could spare his daughter from having to see.
When Sophie wasn’t in tree, or trying to catch a rabbit to pet it she was practicing with her gun. Learning how to clean it was exciting for her, putting it together and back again.It was all she would do for a few days, she wanted to have it memorized she said. Mark knew whenever she got an idea in her head that it was normally there for a long time, at least she was distracted.
Speaking of Sophie, she was on blanket, once again, working with her gun. Mark sat down next to her, just watching her for a few seconds. She was focused, he didn’t want to disturb her. Her fingers stumbled over a few parts, but for the most part she had it down perfectly.
“Dad, the purple part, it’s sitting next to you, can you hand it to me?” He knew none of the parts in the gun were purple, but he still looked, curious.
“Sophie, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He was right, there were no purple parts.
She reached over him and sighed, picking up the piece to his left, holding it up. “See? Purple?”
“Sophie, it’s… actually, what are the other colors of the pieces?” He had an idea, but it didn’t seem right.
“Some are blue, some are purple, some are mix, a few are blurry like everything else. Not the important ones, the most important ones are purple.”
“Huh, interesting.” Maybe the damn thing had finally taken a liking to her, it seemed to be helping now. Though she always did like the color purple.
He waited for her to finish, it didn’t take that much longer. She was rubbing her head once she was done. He felt bad, she said the medicine wasn’t helping anymore more and was refusing to take it. Based off the colors thing he could take a good guess of to what it was, there wasn’t much to help that.
“My birthday is next week.” Shit, he hadn’t been keep track of dates, not pass the first few months. It didn’t seem to matter anymore. Sophie didn’t seem to get the memo. Though why would she, of course a kid is going to be excited for her birthday. “It’s really cool here, normally it’s hot. Not a beach around, not that we could go to one.” She sighed. “I know there’s other things to worry about but, I didn’t want you to forget.”
“Sweetie…” He pulled her into his arms, wrapping her close. “We’ll figure out something, okay? Eleven is a big deal, matching numbers!” She let out a small laugh.
“I’m just happy to still be alive.” It hurt when she said it, he didn’t want her to have to worry. It seemed she’d taken that up on her own, however.
“We’ll make it, okay?”
“Both of us? Not likely. It’s only a matter of time till I-”
“Sophie!” No, He wouldn’t let her think like this. She was going to make it, she had to.
“I’m sorry, It’s just… It’s scary.”
He held her tighter, there wasn’t much more to say. He felt bad, he did, but there was no way he would’ve been able to leave her behind. They’d just have to make due while they could.
It was hard to believe Sophie picked up on it before he did, it also wasn’t hard to believe that she could be afraid of nothing. He didn’t take her warning, that was a huge mistake. He realized it too late. They had to deal with advent now, or rather he did. He could only hope Sophie would actually stay hidden.
Sectoids were bigger, frighteningly so. He had no idea what the capability of the new trooper units were, but he didn’t exactly want to find out. He could only hope that the sectiods were still as useless against him as before, he doubted that their psionics could break his, and Sophie was far enough away that it shouldn’t matter for her.
He was able to take out the trooper with his rifle before it could get to the tree it was going for. The sectoid tried then to mind control him, he was relieved to see their abilities hadn’t been made any better. He took aim for it, and then he heard Sophie yell. One of the troopers had come up behind him,and found her. He could only watch as she feel to the ground, a purple shield covering her as she did.
He should’ve kept her closer, been more careful. Completely forgetting to check on her might’ve just cost her life. The sectoid forgotten about, he fired at the trooper (already weakened. Seemed Sophie had gotten some damage into it), running to Sophie’s body once it was gone. The sectoid was trailing him, but he didn’t notice.
He didn’t remember until the bullet went right past his face, hitting the creature behind him.The shot almost catching him off guard, wondering if it was just an unlucky shot that missed him and took care of the threat. There was only one person he knew that would try something like that, it couldn’t be possible… unless…
“Cass?”
“Long time no see.” She shouted back as she ran towards him. “Still gotta pull your ass outa the fire, it seems.”
If he wasn’t preoccupied with trying to find a pulse on Sophie to make sure she was actually alive, he probably would’ve been more excited. Right now he had to worry about her.
“I didn’t notice her till it was too late, I’m so sorry-“ Cass reached out to touch him, to try and comfort him, he shoved her hand away.
“She’ll be okay, she’ll live. Noncritical location, probably passed out from the pain. She’s fine.” He knew he didn’t sound like he believed it, but it was the truth. Not to mention she had… well, a fail safe that seemed to be working.
“There’s a haven near by, best bet is to take her there.” He didn’t need help healing her, but Cass was right. Sophie needed somewhere safe to recover. The shot was in the leg, she’d be lucky if she was able to walk right away. “I can watch over your stuff, just get her help.”
“This isn’t your fault Cass, I’m damn lucky you’re here.” One thing he didn’t want was her taking the blame for his mistake, he fucked up. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t need the guilt.
The haven was close enough that Cass had spotted out the small pod while hunting further out, and was able to follow them, he was told. Should only be fifteen minutes. He also got yelled at for not staying there, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t allow the risk.
Maybe once he was there someone would take Sophie, he could run off on her own. At least she’d be safe there. Then he looked at the girl he had his arms wrapped around.
She was his, he decided that when he first acted. He couldn’t leave her behind.
He didn’t exactly like leaving Sophie in other people’s care, but he had a promise he had to keep to himself. They needed to get the bullet out, anyways, he didn’t exactly have the supplies to do that.
He wanted nothing more than hold her right now. She was hurting because of his mistakes, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Head in hands, he had nothing left to do but wait.
“The hell are you doing here?” That was about the last voice he was expecting to hear.
“Bradford?” Did he smell of alcohol? Seems bad habits spread, he must be hanging out with Cass.
“Thought you’d be dead, and last place I expected to see you around people.”
“My daughter was shot, she needed help.”
“Shit, she okay?”
“Just had to get a bullet out, she’ll be fine. Oh, ran into Cass, she sent me here, she’s back at my camp.”
“Kinda glad to have a break from her, you want a drink?”
“Nah, but, company is nice, if you want to stay.”
“We got some catching up to do, let’s talk.”
Bradford sat down next to him. He was told it would be awhile, he might as well pass a few stories around.
There was a wolf, it was huge and black. She knew she wasn’t awake, that it wasn’t real.
But it felt impossibly real.
She stared it in the eyes for a long time. It growled, running off.
She’d chase it, but she couldn’t move. She didn’t know why, but she felt at peace where she was.
