#fat identity

[macbxth-pdf]

Being a plus sized woman in the dating scene is a strange thing. One hand you have to accept that desirability politics makes it so that because you aren’t seen as the beauty standard, you will constantly have to battle fatphobia and you will have a harder time meeting people and making meaningful connections….On the other you also have to accept that when you are desired, you are fetishized and it should be seen as a “compliment”

[scientificphilosopher]

I’m disappointed you reblogged that post about diets. OP is right about FAD DIETS making you lose weight only to gain it back, but long term weight-loss is a lifestyle change and 100% achievable. I know this is what the post means, but not how people interpret it. The post isn’t very clear. Hence, it is spreading a bad message and keeping people sick.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re disappointed in me–but you’re about to be even more disappointed. First off, I’ve written about fat shaming and diet culture pretty extensively. Check it out here and here and here. I’ve also posted lots of articles and research and such and such. But the post you’re referring to is absolutely not just about ‘fad diets,’ it’s about any diet where the focus is on weight loss. And this very much includes so-called ‘lifestyle changes.’ The research indicates that long-term maintenance of weight loss does not work. The post is very clear about that.

The reason that this is discouraging to so many people is precisely because as a culture we have come to conflate weight with both healthiness and attractiveness. We have, in other words, come to see the number on the scale as a relevant indicator of how beautiful and how healthy someone is. And reading the comments on that previous post, and the messages I receive every time I post something about fat acceptance, really drives this conflation home. Reading those comments hurts my heart, much more than being fat ever has.

Here’s the thing: being fat does not necessitate that someone is unhealthy. Fat people can be healthy. And once we accept this, once we truly come to terms with the fact that we can be both fat and healthy, then the research isn’t nearly as discouraging. Yes, the research says that fat people will generally remain fat. What it very much does not say is that fat people must generally be unhealthy. The research isn’t saying that we can’t make more mindful nutrition choices or increase the amount of physical activity we get. What it indicates is that insofar as those choices are made with the explicit goal of losing weight and keeping it off, then statistically speaking we are bound to fail. This shouldn’t matter though. The reason people are so invested in toxic diet culture is because we have tied our self-worth to our physical appearance. We are force-fed messages on the daily that if we are fat then we are ugly, we are failures, we are not living up to our full potential.

I’ve grappled with this my whole life. I don’t know how many fucking times I’ve had someone tell me that I need to unlock my inner skinny self, that when I look in the mirror I should imagine the person I want to be, that I’m a work in progress. This means that fat people are too often prevented from ever being content with who they are, for no other reason outside of our superficial appearance (even though it’s often cloaked in paternalistic drivel like ‘we just want you to be healthy,’ as if an eating disorder is healthier than belly rolls). John Steinbeck is sometimes quoted as saying ‘Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.’ Fat people are, similarly, told to think of ourselves as ‘temporarily embarrassed skinny people.’ Hey, I’m all for self-improvement. I think we should all strive to cultivate virtues and fight to be better in a variety of ways. But this is tricky territory, as improvement is not easy or direct. The humanist psychologist Carl Rogers captures this perfectly when he wrote that ‘The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.’ But acceptance and growth does not come through shame and humiliation and self-disgust and culturally-ordained patronizing, gaslighting paternalism.

I don’t want to make it sound like this is a simplistic issue with easy answers. Nutrition science is notoriously shaky and immature. There’s a lot of complexity here. As Roxane Gay points out in this fantastic podcast, reflexive body positivity isn’t helpful for everyone in every situation, specifically for people weighing in on most extreme ends of the bell curve. These issues can’t be elucidated through sound bites, and they especially can’t be elucidated through motivated thinking and prejudices. But the science is pretty darn clear right now regarding diet culture. It doesn’t work. It harms people. So what do we do with this? Do we just stubbornly plow forward? Do we let our dissonance get the better of us and defensively cling to our prejudices, insist that our individual intuitions are more relevant and reliable than decades of research?

The onus falls on us as a culture to reevaluate our conceptions of health and beauty. Fat identity is a marginalized issue even within social justice circles. The fact remains, however, that fat people are stereotyped, stigmatized, shamed, condescended, and generally mistreated for all the wrong reasons. Covering our ears and eyes to the research and our humanity won’t do anyone any favors.

[beckywtghmai]

Patience/Wearing/Thinner

Lately I’ve been breaking in my new skin and Watching the old one shrink, I wonder What the point of losing weight is If you have fat experience burned deep into your brain I wonder what will happen when they compliment My new physique I wonder what will happen When my patience finally breaks, as thin as I get My patience wears thinner and yet The first one to notice Will be in imminent…

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[beckywtghmai]

We’re All Being Brainwashed With Fatphobic Clickbait

We’re All Being Brainwashed With Fatphobic Clickbait

I think they only way you wouldn’t see it Is if you just believed all of it, and saw it as Simple. Never questioning “Why are all the stories on my phone Telling me to lose belly fat with one simple trick?” Or asking “Why do I see so many videos of Weight loss transformations that take months— Edited to take place in mere seconds? Does that set, I dunno— An unhealthy and unrealistic…

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[beckywtghmai]

Fat Acceptance Cannot and Will Never Happen, But Fat Exile Happens Daily

Fat Acceptance Cannot and Will Never Happen, But Fat Exile Happens Daily

Not sure what articles like these are doing besides Shouting from the rooftops that You hate fat people and you are Right to do so— https://btugman.pressbooks.com/chapter/the-line-between-body-positivity-and-glorifying-obesity/?fbclid=IwAR2h-7BTYstg4ZdRbuC5ErxUZhqAgH1sdFcgMO7n71Zp6YVGKAAkafC8ifk The “fat acceptance movement” Does not, will not, cannot exist. It’s impossible. Human…

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[beckywtghmai]

Too Fat/Not Fat Enough

Too Fat/Not Fat Enough

My whole life– Too fat, Not fat enough! Too fat to be respected Not fat enough to complain about it. Too fat for healthcare, too fat for medicine Not fat enough for my discrimination to matter. I guess You aren’t really fat Until you’re in a wheelchair at walmart Like Nikocado Avocado makes fun of. At what point will you all recognize The anxiety you project onto fat bodies It is not…

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[beckywtghmai]

Broken Record/Good Deeds

Every gay person knows how many Minutes there are in a year– As a fat person I know How many calories are in a pound of fat. I’ve known since I was in middle school. I know how many calories Are in a tbsp of olive oil I know the difference between A tbsp and a tsp, and I can Eye ball it, honestly. I know the difference between Good carbs and bad carbs and I know about The healthy fats…

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[beckywtghmai]

The -phobia's

The -phobia’s

I don’t, personally feel That transphobia, and homophobia Are worse in 2021, or soon to be 2022, than fatphobia. Xenophobia is worse for sure. Racism seems to be peaking, but I’m youngish, so idk– I think it’s pretty odd That there are so many Internet queers screaming about Transphobia and homophobia Because of Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr ect. I think it’s even weirder That I…

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