Jan 3, 2019
Hamlet: *triumphantly watching Claudius leave the play in a panic*
Narrator: To say that Hamlet was on top of the world right now would have been a gross understatement. Hamlet had just made the world his bitch.
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Hamlet: *triumphantly watching Claudius leave the play in a panic*
Narrator: To say that Hamlet was on top of the world right now would have been a gross understatement. Hamlet had just made the world his bitch.
Malvolio: I AM LOST FOR WORDS!!!
Maria: *narrating* Despite being lost for words, Malvolio yelled at us for the next ten minutes.
Shakespeare Characters As Out Of Context Game Grumps Quotes
Hamlet: You gotta make a statement. You gotta look inside yourself and ask, ‘What am I willing to put up with today?’ NOT FUCKING THIS!
Cesario: Merry Christmas! I feel a tremendous sense of dread.
Miranda: Almost lost my virginity. Boy got sucked into a tornado.
Nick Bottom: Every person I meet tells me what a thunderous schlong I have!
Iago: Marriage is about winning.
Romeo: God, I fistpump a lot.
Ritchard II: I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain.
Laertes: Hardy har har. I’m so filled with rage.
Sir Toby: Dost thou desire a grilled cheese?
Prospero: What’s with islands? Get more land! What’s with deserts? Get less sand!
Coralanius: I love suffering and I just want to absorb it.
Malvolio: I was in the process of proceeding before you so rudely stopped my procession.
Titania: I WANNA GET MY DICK SUCKED BY VARIOUS ANIMALS!!
Othello: I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.
Horatio: My favorite sex position is “9”. That’s me, alone, in my bed, curled up, crying.
Lady MacBeth: Kill a man, take his shoes. Kill a man, take his shoes. Kill a man, take his shoes, so I can be more comfortable.
Orsinio: I was the greatest load my dad ever shot.
Ariel: At age six, I was born without a face.
Mercutio: I’m lying on the floor and cumming and dying at the same time.
LAERTES: *stabbing Hamlet* I REALIZE IM TECHNICALLY PENETRATING YOU RIGHT NOW BUT ITS NOT GAY IF ITS REVENGE!!
Hamlet: *bleeding out* REALLY MAN, THIS IS THE HILL YOU WANNA DIE ON?!
Ophelia: *holding Hamlet up in the air and swaying him back and forth* Stinky little bastard man.
Horatio: N-no! Don’t say that to him!!
Gertrude: *not looking up from her sewing* Trash boy. Little rat.
Horatio: No!!
Shakespeare Characters As Out Of Context MBMBAM Quotes
Horatio: This place is like Nasty Disney World, where all the bad kids go!
Andrew Augcheck: Toothpaste isn’t food and I can back that up.
Mercutio: I’ve doubted Fergi in the past and it has not served me well.
Petrucio: I gaslighted her dad, it was great!
Fallstaf: I am a comedy prostitute.
Laertes: I’m a beautiful machine of fury and violence.
Nick Bottom: We all got butthole tattoos!
Othello: Give me a reckless, dangerous amount of mayonnaise.
Friar Laurence: God can see through the roofs of all buildings, don’t even try jerking off.
Malvolio: My favorit classic ice cream flavor- brown.
Ophelia: It’s me, your medulla oblongata. I got you a sword.
Lady MacBeth: Why is it your responsibility that other people are so murderable?
Hamlet: I’m a Limp Bizkit skank boy now!
Benvolio: You just get so fuckin’ horny for baked goods.
Oberon: I can highlight four different places where you fucked up so bad.
Orsinio: Can’t stop thinking about these dog dicks on this Chaise Lounge.
Richard II: There’s a band called Jefferson Airplane and I wish they would hit me right now and kill me with their propellers!
Ariel: I’m a big, nasty worm.
Rosencrantz/Guildenstern: We have ugly, stupid, live journal souls.
Polonius: Oh peepums don’t you give em’ that nasty gum.
Romeo: We’ve all been living in this moment for a while now and I think we can all agree it was a mistake.
Sebastian (TN): I’ve seen Pirates of the Caribbean Black Pearl sixteen times, today.
Lysander: Here’s a benefit- this boner!
Old King Hamlet: I’m just gonna teach my son weird cuss words.
Tybalt: Look at all your blood! It’s on the ground, where the dirt lives!
Titania: I can’t really help you with your situation but I CAN fuck your butt with this broomstick.
Gertrude: That’s what signaled the fall of Rome, is that they went to wearing those skinny fit togas.
Sir Toby: These are my 100% alcoholic hot dogs.
Antonio (MoV): Spoiler alert- I’m gonna fuck you.
Richard III: If you wanna look cool? Peeing on another guy is cool.
Osric: Maybe you’re just tryin’ to use the bathroom at Cracker Barrel and a guy comes up and shows you his nipple through a crack in the door.
William Shakespeare: My member is voluminous.
Helena: Lysander, what kind of girls do you prefer?
Lysander: My girlfriend.
Helena: Aww, that’s sweet. Demetrius, what kind of girls do you prefer~?
Demetrius: *making unblinking eye contact* Lysander’s girlfriend.
Hamlet: Vampyre, with a ‘y’.
Guildenstern: …Yampire?
Rosencrantz: *happy gasp* YAMPIRE!!