I wanna be famous..but I also want to be dead so…

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I wanna be famous..but I also want to be dead so…
I don’t wanna be here, I don’t wanna be “home”, I don’t wanna be at anywhere. I don’t wanna die or live, I just want to disappear
Bring Her Home || Fawns
"What'f th'don't like m'cause'f m'voice'r somethin' though?"
Through the dusty, field-lined roads of District Ten, the blonde walked, looking up at her older brother, her brown eyes filled with nerves. The war had ended. And, as he'd promised her so very long ago, they'd gone home. Throughout the walk across the District, Natalie had been flashing between excitement and nerves, curiously looking around at all of the new sights before her that were so familiar to her companion as her mind raced through all the possible scenarios.
She was going to meet her family for the first time. The first real time. Elliot had reached out, telling them he was coming home. They'd never acted even remotely concerned. They hadn't seen the Games, hadn't seen that she even existed or how at risk any of them had been. They didn't have to see their children preparing for--and, eventually, escaping--death.
"I mean, I wouldn't blame'm, even Clarky says th'Capitol bit'n m'voice gets t'people sometimes. I hate't, reminds m'of them, but s'how I talk. What'f...What'f I just didn't talk?" She rushed through her words as they turned a corner, letting out a frustrated sigh as they approached a solitary red house, not too big, not too small...family sized.
Stepping up the front walk and onto the porch, the blonde stopped in her tracks, quickly going to hug her brother tightly. Her heart raced in her chest, not knowing what the rest of their family's reaction would be. At the very least, she had Elliot. And for the least, he was very, very grand to Natalie. She was very happy to have him.
"Thank y'Elliot," She said softly, pulling back from him and giving a grin, though her nerves shone through her eyes. "...But I don't wanna b'th'one t'knock'n th'door."
Eyes Like Sky by Frank Ocean Leftover Channel Orange track that did not make it on the final album.