Oh, hey all, while we're here, can we get a moodboard or some positivity for a HeroVolsty (pokétuber) fucktive who just needs to accept himself already, it's not like he chose to be here you know? Some pale blue and grey colors might look nice for the moodboard, I dunno.
I would super love to interact with my "source" but I know how awkward that would be, so I'm usually quite silent in this system, but I'd love to interact more in general! I think we've changed our hair since I was last out, it looks great haha.
I hope you're having a fantastic day this fine morning, may your inbox be just enough to entertain you all.
- Voltsy (Labrador Anon)
Hello, Voltsy! I hope you and the rest of Labrador Anon have a fantastic day as well. And it's awesome to hear about your new hair! I bet it looks absolutely magnificent!
Now for the positivity:
I know it is hard to accept oneself in a system, especially with all the taboos and discrimination around/for fact-folks just for existing.
But it is okay to exist. Your existence is wanted by the system, as implied in the ask. And as your systemmates said, you do not control your existence. Existing is not a fault you have to repent for - You do not deserve to beat yourself up for it. What you deserve is compassion, not just from others, but also from yourself.
And you may not be able to control your existence, but you can control how you exist - and I think you deserve to give yourself a comfortable existence. Which includes accepting yourself as you are in the present, not trying to be someone you're not, including a post-factive (because I know some factives are pressured and rushed to let go of their factual identity... you do not have to do that.)
You are not a bad person for existing. You are not a bad person for being a factive, or a factive of HeroVoltsy specifically. You deserve to be proud of your existence and/or identity if you want to be. You deserve to feel good while being yourself.
Your existence is not disrespectful to the youtuber, nor to his fans. Your existence is a wonderful thing, not just for what you can contribute to the system and the world, but also in and of itself. You are worthy of respect and acceptance. Remember that.
Being interested in interacting with your "source" is valid!
(Advice start, ignore if unwanted)
Interacting with one's source may be awkward, but maybe you can try dipping bit by bit into it? For example, looking for images before videos, or only watching one video a week before intensifying the quantity in the subsequent weeks. Moreover, you have the support of your system - using it might help with the awkwardness! Maybe you could also set some ground rules, like no intrusive questions, no fangirling, no comparisons, etc. before consuming the source.
(Advice end)
I wish you all the best, Voltsy! And thank you so much for your kind words!
Mod Vintage (🗝️)
