CONTINUED @ccaptain ↤ ragbros reconcile :: THREAD ↩
DILUC you did what you should have done, & pale fingers sink into a cascade of red, unruly hair. they grip tight enough that the rhythmic shake of his head makes it all ache — sweeter, sharper, easier. “no,.” this, the most terrifying thing: that his attempt to protect family feels wrong. that kaeya, his kaeya, simply matters more- more than everything else diluc is.
like sane. like right. like in love with mondt, with life, with the few kind things that are devoid of ulterior motives - but how much of those things are real? how many of those things walked up to him & told him... confessed / doled out their manual & pointed out their name in the dictionary? traitor. liar. you’re nothing but a target to me. you have been nothing but a ragnvindr to me.
maybe that’s why this tenuous link to kaeya is the only thing that breathes in the chest. kaeya at least, however late, was honest - & what did it really serve..? if diluc forgives, then, it makes sense to think of it as a long con / successful. as long as he does not, then perhaps kaeya’s guilt was real too.
isn’t that awful?
if kaeya can’t use him, he’s not a user.
it’s... a slightly new place to be stuck in, but he is stuck nonetheless.
“..........thank you.” for bothering to speak to me at all, of this. for doing without lies... or with the pretence of honesty. in any case, it’s... “...but it’s not right. i don’t want you to think-” even if it w a s right “-that hurting you, is ever...” his voice is thin & warbled by the time it worms past the ache in his throat. curled over knees pressed closely together, his eyes bleed. “please don’t think that.” & he can’t even say the words, can’t even spell it out like he should be able to ( my baby brother my baby brother i ), “please.”