How will you know if he's the right guy for you? How can you be so sure that he really is from God? I dont know if I should give this guy a chance because im really afraid that giving him a chance might not what God really wants me to do.
Hello dear,
My heart aches to think of your situation because I too have been there, numerous times. If anyone is prone to over-analyzing and making overly-calculated decisions to avoid risk or pain - it would be me. But you know what I’ve come to learn through that? Too often I am allowing fear to operate my actions and decisions. I focus solely on the situation and/or guy to pick them apart flaw by flaw afraid that they aren’t the person God has for me rather than actually drawing near to God and making Him my sole focus and adoration.
Have you ever heard the phrase “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her” ? I believe Maya Angelou said that; she was a very wise woman. I think about these words often and wonder what exactly it means to be “lost” in God. Well more and more I think it points to surrendering all of those wants, desires, and worries to His will and allowing God to flood your mind instead of fear or self-seeking control.
Fixating and worrying about a tough situation never made it magically resolve, at least not in my experience. It’s when I can learn to let it go and make a conscious effort to leave it to God and be led by Him that situations have miraculously resolved, and not always in the way I think it will.
If it were me, and I were the slightest bit interested back but unsure of what God would want me to do - I would start by letting this gentleman know, if he inquires about whether you’ll date him or give him a chance or whichever, that dating relationships are intentional and purposeful for you and not something you take lightly. Tell him you want to pray about it. Or if you don’t know him well enough yet, ask if you could spend time working on your friendship first before pursuing anything romantic.
In my experience a Godly man will respect and even be drawn to your confidence and relationship with the Lord.. he will be willing to wait. If he responds disrespectfully or impatiently, that’s a sure sign of a struggle you will encounter again and again if you do enter into a relationship with him (i.e. a red flag). No one is forcing you to make up your mind right away, and if you do feel forced - that is certainly not a healthy relationship to be in.
Take your time, get to know him as a friend; “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Songs 8:4), and as my absolute favorite verse suggests, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
If there is a woman in your life that you admire greatly for her Godly relationship, I would highly recommend speaking with her as well and asking for her prayerful advise in your situation. Often that has helped me profoundly when I found myself stuck.
I am praying for you my dear, I hope that you encounter peace and guidance in your situation!
God Bless,
Josie