this is not a sad post but an honest one. please be careful for what type of Christian content you consume online. there are people who do mean well in their approach in wanting to help others on their walk, but, they can get real legalistic/works based, real fast. it causes people to take their eyes off of Jesus and put a whole lot of pressure on themselves with a fear of messing up and trying to be perfect and micro manage ourselves all the time. there is so much pride in that and it's so sneaky that we don't even realize that's what we're operating under because we're trying to do our best but in our own strength not His. that has actually happened to me recently and i find that so crazy considering God brought me such a long way from doing all of that at the beginning on my walk with Him. it feels like i have gone completely backwards and it's discouraging, although i know He will deliver me from this again. it's also even harder because i feel like my trust in Him has severely declined already since last summer (it was extremely bad and i have still not really recovered from knowing how to trust Him like i did before) and now that a lot of change has taken place in my life since before the new year-now and not knowing what is going on in my life and fear i'm going to mess everything up..... it's like He keeps tearing down wobbly foundations i keep building my faith upon. i'm starting to learn if it's something i really need to know from Him and Him guiding me somewhere and not just relying on "confirmations" and self perceived "discernment" then i will know in time. not me trying to figure anything out but just "being". i've been exhausted and weary and overwhelmed. i told Him we need to start over with this whole situation. surrender is a beautiful, humbling thing. so thankful to have Him as my source of emotional comfort and safety, especially as someone who craves intimacy and vulnerability and personal connection but never truly had that or was ever able to express that or even feel like or know how to be a real person. He is the only one who can truly save us but it is also 100% okay to crave connection with others as long as we don't get that confused (this is why it's important to heal from trauma and unhealthy attachment styles!!) anywaysies: intimacy with Him is always more important than anything we can do. of course we have to do our part and be obedient but that's when it's through Him and by obedience, not taking it into our own hands or taking anyone else's word for it... especially those who aren't exactly "qualified" to do so. leadership and mentorship is very important in the body of Christ!!! it should never add burdens. put on Christ for His yoke is easy and His burden is light 😁❤️🩹
