The Lord is my Shepherd

mid-twenties. Finally learning who i am and how to be a real person. I love to collect precious moments, american girl dolls, and calico critters <3 obsessed with spongebob!!!! i love music, writing and animals and so much more!!!! Jesus Christ died, was buried, and rose again for our sins, for our justification and reconciliation to the Father (John 14:6, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 & Ephesians 1:13.)

[feastingonchrist]

Crazy that all i pretty much do is share all the good things God has done for me. Anytime i feel led to write something for someone specific or just get the urge to write, 99% of the time it’s a testimony. He has such an anointing on my writing. It’s such a unique ministry He has placed *literally* in my hands. I absolutely love it. Sometimes i may think i’m doing too much (sharing w certain ppl a lot) and i’ll never be perfect, but there’s a lot of freedom and joy in doing so. I’m thankful for it! Even if it does feel like a burden sometimes and i don’t feel like writing or i think maybe someone will think i’m weird or excessive, i do it anyways. I want to bless them and encourage them and thank them and also i get blessed in return which is pretty cool too!!!! :) my entire account is a testimony of God's love for me and it's so precious to me i will N E V E R GET OVER IT LET ALONE FULLY PROCESS THAT

(this is why my posts are always LONGGGGGG)

[feastingonchrist]

i keep thinking back on the times of my worship pastor still being at my church and when we were in choir practice or hanging out in her office together and just wishing she was still there like ohhhh i tell God about that daily and i’m just like “not cool” “not cool”. it makes me so sad i still haven’t gotten over that and it was 7 months ago. I miss her SO BAD every day. So many good memories that are still so close to me but presently untouchable sometimes as if it never happened. The way i’ll never get that time of my life back is actually insane to me it was PERFECT. Everything was :( life transitions and change is something i struggle with…. A lot.

I don’t think the people around me understand that it’s not just me being upset that she’s gone and somebody came to replace her (i have tried talking to two people at the church i’m closest two who are on staff and it never went anywhere and still feels like something i’m “not allowed” to talk about based off tone and no one really addressing the change but being told we need to basically move forward so i don’t like to talk about it with them.) It’s the fact that she’s gone and then everything changed. Service is not the same anymore because the music has gone backwards. I lost my routine of going to choir practice on Sunday morning before church and Wed nights so i lost connection with my choir buddies and feeling so special and loved and connected to them in that group like it was so special to be apart of i never had that. I miss being excited about going to church and having a church to go to. Just stuck in limbo in this part of my life not knowing what’s next or what to do. What previously worked doesn’t anymore and it seemed like a “right place right time” situation. I grieve it ALL THE TIME. So many things i miss, especially january-september 2025. Peak church times and so much joy and fun. Something was in the air idk….

I genuinely don’t know how to process any of it (starting with her leaving) and it feels like a loss but obviously not death but still a grievable loss close enough to it because i lost community and routine pretty much all at once. But i also really feel a lot of shame about that too because it makes me feel weird for missing a person that much even though we are literally friends... Change/transitions burn me out so bad and i’m unable to function as i previously did. It’s over anything and actually getting worse because idk how to cope with change and emotions. My need for sameness and security and life stability has been screaming because it’s been interrupted for too long and i am so tired. I think my brain is looking for a way to figure it all out whether logically or emotionally i don’t even know. Then all of it is making my other ASD traits worse!!! I get so CONFUSED with changes too (if we had a monday off i’d go to work the next day thinking it’s monday and expecting those kids even if i KNEW it was tuesday it threw me off so bad i thought every tuesday was monday. If my coworker wasn’t there and i had to be the teacher and a sub was the aide i’d get thrown off all day.) i have been confused for months now due to everything and it’s very traumatic and i’m so overwhelmed i’m losing the ability to speak every morning until i put on noise canceling headphones and eat something. Like genuinely how do i explain this whole phenomenon because you can’t share certain things w certain people….? I feel like a broken record lowkey that grief class at my church ain’t sounding too bad 😭

[feastingonchrist]

me when i was at the store yesterday and totally didn’t see this small shelf with baked goods on it and i ran into it so hard and almost tripped and hit my shin and now i have a bruise there….

[feastingonchrist]

last night i ordered my headphones and they shipped earlier today and they may be here by monday and i am so excited!!!!

[tarisilmarwen]

In your mercy pray for my sister. She has been admitted to inpatient at the hospital for a bad flare-up of her schitzoaffective disorder. She has had four such breaks with reality previously and had recently celebrated five years of being psychosis symptom free this February. Pray also for me as I coordinate with her doctors and others for care and treatment and to ensure she gets FMLA leave at her work.

[chlebconsumer]

My father’s open heart surgery got rescheduled to his birthday, which naturally we have mixed feelings about. Prayers would be appreciated for it all to go well and for work the next day to not be too rough for me.

[genekellyluv]

Please pray for my grandma. She's in the hospital and dealing with complications from surgery.

Thank you.

[ahopefulbromantic]

Gonna be taking my first vows of chastity for one year today, please pray for me everyone!

[feastingonchrist]

i js went to best buy and tried on the bose quiet comfort ultra 2’s and oh my gosh they are sooo comfy and the sound quality is superior. I’m gonna get the first gen ones bc they’re half the price and way more comfortable!

edit: i ended up buying them and they should be here by monday i am excited 😋

[feastingonchrist]

I have been losing my ability to speak again lately. Like an invisible heaviness in my chest and it takes too much energy to say anything but a few words at a time randomly. I’m ngl it is something that sort of makes me embarrassed but it’s okay i’m saving energy. I think that’s kinda cool! And usually i’ll put my headphones on and then eat and i’m able to speak again. I will say it’s easier to whisper when this happens (tried that out today)

[riverbaptism]

i hate how music is constantly on everywhere

[religiousextremist]

there used to be toy stores! there used to be huge stores, standalone and in malls, not in target or walmart! they used to have toys on display, out of boxes! we used to be able to play with the toys before we bought them. kids used to run around toy stores just browsing things and taking turns and trying out different toys!

i’m not even 30 yet but it’s sounding like i have alzheimers

[cheerfullycatholic]

The issues are angering again, please pray for me

[boymiffy]

never underestimate the healing power of a patch of sunlight

[anamericangirl]

Please pray for me and my family if God puts it on your heart. My brother unexpectedly passed away today and I am devastated.

I may not be around much the next couple of days 💔

[lloveazraa-deactivated20211103]

there is so much love in patience. so much love in listening.

[targetedknowledge]