Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Friendship (mostly)
Fandoms: Legacies, Charmed, Asphyxia
Characters: William Halliwell ( @ofindcmitability ), Landon Kirby ( @frcmashes ).
Additional Tags: #ugly formatting #emotional #hurt/comfort #friendship #genuine softness #handon #lizwil #mentions of hizzie #mentions of landwill
Language: English
it was a lot. it was LOT. lizzie was in love with-- wait no, god his mind was so garbled. hope was in love with lizzie. his girlfriend's best friend, his best friend's girlfriend, in love with his fiance. and then... and then he told her, practically bludgeoned in, that hope would be a better choice then him. and he had meant it. and lizzie looked at him with soft words and loving eyes and he let it fade away because that had been EASY in that moment. but... not in this one. not when he thought of how much safer she could be, how much better off she would be. and yet, he was selfish. he couldn't explain it, in all technicality he wasn't selfish at all and yet- his eyes locked with landon, and for the briefest of moments will wished he wasn't hope's boyfriend. that he could rant about things to him, that he could complain to him, that landon was a singularity in his life disconnected from the others. an outside source and opinion rather than an important piece of the jenga board that was now crumbling down. ranting, complaining he'd be hard pressed to find what to do either about. he didn't know the first thing about hope beyond what he was told. she was a stranger who he couldn't even bring himself to be mad at. no, he was mat himself. a deep breath in, shakier then intended. "hey." he greeted with a slight weak wave.
he's never felt awkward in will's presence before. this is new. uncertain, maybe, not sure where they stood, but never awkward. it's secondhand awkwardness too, not derived from any decisions or choices that either of them made. they're collateral damage of the hurricane that swept through their paths, left to assess the fractures in the wake of tragedy. ( it's a maudlin way to look at things, really, but he's trying to be objective. ) he's fine, or at least as fine as he can be knowing that his girlfriend loves someone else. he's handling it — better than expected, if he's being honest. ( he's surprised even himself. ) the " hey. " he replies with comes naturally, hand raising in a half wave. he feels awkward but he still smiles, albeit weakly, when he spots his best friend. he can feel the tension, knows it can infect like a poison if he lets it fester, so he doesn't. " i'm guessing, by looking at your face right now, you know. " he doesn't elaborate on the what, chokes back a grim expression. " i don't know if it's weirder to talk about it, or to not talk about it. " usually will's the one person he can talk to about anything. even after ... the double date that had never changed. ( though, in retrospect, somehow they'd never talked about that ) " so, uh, we can ... or we can play mario kart, order a pizza. whatever. " in truth, he's not sure which answer he's looking for. nothing has been going as expected these days.February 14, 2020
the first thought when lizzie had spoken to him of hope's feelings had been LANDON. he wanted to know how the other boy was doing, know that he was alright. and now here he was, faced with him. and will only felt a dry throat and little to no idea of what to say. hey landon said the words and will wondered once again what his best friend must be feeling. how weird it was, to know someone so well and yet be unable to know a single thought of how they may react to such world shattering news. landon was someone who strived. and will thought he was someone confident enough. than his confidence had been shattered. could landon possibly be shattered in that sort? broken? or was he something else entirely. someone else. how did he feel about will now. would that be something to change? ( the ways he felt about hope and lizzie certainly must have ). "yeah." he responded, slow in tone. "we should talk about it." it was a decision that was just decided. not talking was simply not one of an option. the only exception had been that night of a double date. it had never been something they spoke, no need. it was settled and finished. at least, until now. given hope and lizzie's circumstance, it felt unfinished. "we could do that." he nodded. "as well." because no, landon wasn't getting out of it.February 15, 2020
there's something about ordering food in times of crisis that sparks familiar. the last time will told him all about his past, about the things he'd done, had been over chinese and video games. so that he's ordering pizza now, while they talk about what is arguably one the more heavier weights on his shoulders, feels kind of poetic. " alright, yeah. sounds good. " he offers up a smile, orders their starred order ( because this definitely isn't the first and won't be the last time ) and pays with his paypal account. they've got 45 minutes, which is more than enough time to unpack some heavy truths. ( he's not being dismissive, it's just easier to stomach when he makes it light. ) " it's weird, right ? this whole — everything, it's weird. " there's no better way to describe it. there's no wikihow on ' how to react when your girlfriend tells you she loves you but also loves her best friend ' — he knows, he checked. " i thought i'd be ... mad, i guess. definitely angry, maybe hurt. " he pauses, considers his words. " i am a little. " he has to admit. " hurt. i guess i just, i don't know — i never saw it coming. " maybe he should have. maybe there had been clues, signs, and he hadn't been willing to see them. whatever the reason, he hadn't. ( he has to come to terms with that; thinks he has. ) " how are you, uh, taking all of this ? " he knows that the feelings aren't mutual, that lizzie doesn't feel the same way, but it has to be strange all the same.(edited)
it was weird how fast things went along with landon. it went from 'hey you!' to landon being landon. his friend, his very best friend. technically, his only friend, if he looked at it. there were other people of course, but they were different. there was no one else like landon who he could just hang out with, who he could just have fun with. the closest that came was lizzie, and she was the love of his life. it was different, in a lot of ways. different but close. briefly, he wondered if that was how hope felt. that her feelings for lizzie and landon were so similar she couldn't contain. and then there was will. their feelings were close, yes. but... no. he knew where he stood with lizzie and landon. it was a close line, but a line firmly intact. lizzie was his love. landon was his only maybe. "weird." a snort. "weird doesn't cover it." and maybe that was harsh, but will was awfully a harsh person and landon knew it. his chest swelled with the fact landon was HURT. he wished there was something he could do. he wished that he couldn't fucking relate. "i don't think anyone saw it coming." including hope, if he had to guess. there weren't any correct words, and fuck will wished he knew how to comfort someone correctly. but was it even his place? and if not him, who else? "me?" it took a moment to realize landon legit wanted to know, cared. he gave a grimace. "i uh, lizzie told me. and i was an idiot about it. i told her that maybe hope would be better for her." maybe admitting this to landon wasn't his finest idea. "it was dumb. i just, your girlfriend is a hero landon. and i'm... me. kind of a mass murderer." there's wasn't even a type of 'kind of'. he was. "i was being dumb about it. you-" a pause as he breathed i once again, scratching beside his eyes ( unable to even look lanodn in the eye ). "you're handling it better than i had." he almost wanted to laugh. he didn't.
he'd be lying if he said he couldn't relate. if he hadn't thought, even in passing, that maybe hope would be better off with someone like lizzie. someone who was strong, brave, and could hold her own in a fight; not someone who would constantly hold her back, or put her in danger. ( after all, the malivore monsters were after him. that was on him. ) maybe if things had been different, if she wasn't so clear that they were in this together, that she loved him, maybe he wouldn't have been able to move past such thoughts. he had though, had swallowed the realization that yes, she chose to be with him, even if he might not understand that choice. he respected her enough to know what she wanted; who she wanted. ( choice, he knows, is half the battle; you can choose to run, or you can choose to fight, they both pick the latter. every time. )
* the harshness catches him by surprise. or maybe it's the words that come next, that leave his brow creasing and his gaze confused. " it's not — dumb. it's not. " will's feelings are never dumb, or without allowance. " i get it. " better than anyone, maybe. it's hard to think about someone else being in love with the person you love. worrying if maybe, if the situation changes, you might end up alone. " not about you. you're — well, you're you. " he flails his hands, unsure how to really frame his words. he knows what he wants to say, but the words seem to get jumbled up all wrong. " hope's incredible. i mean, she's undoubtedly one of the most terrifyingly badass people i've ever met. " he chuckles, cracking a smile. " — but she's not perfect. none of us are. you're different people, i don't think ... i think you're selling yourself short. " will never gives himself enough credit, thinks the red in his ledger outweighs all the good. " the things you did ... they don't define you. " he'd been a child then, a weapon forged against his will. he hadn't known any different, so why would he have been ? he's seen firsthand what can happen to someone left without choices. he's seen it in the alternate version of himself, seen just how catastrophic undue influence can be. ( he never held it against will, not once, but he thinks he can better understand now. ) " they don't make you less loveable. because you are, man. " he cracks a smile, warm as he swallows hard. " you're one of the best people i know. it's kind of hard not to love you. "
* if he's being honest, there's a part of him that acknowledges that he could have loved him. if he'd let himself. if things were different, if he hadn't met hope first, or will hadn't met lizzie, maybe there could have been a world where he fell for him. but he's consciously aware of the line. he might straddle it, dip his toes in the edge dangerously before pulling them back, but he never crosses it. he doesn't because he's lucky. will's the best friend he's ever had, someone he trusts implicitly and came to care for so quickly it makes his head spin. he doesn't let people in but he did let him in. ( he can't ignore that. won't pretend it isn't out of the ordinary. ) it's the kind of friendship that you wait your whole life for, that not everyone gets a chance at. when it counts, when it matters, he knows he won't risk damaging it. it's too important.February 18, 2020
a year ago, william would be shocked to be so throttled with emotions. to be in any situation where he cared so so much, about someone who wasn't simple wyatt. now there was landon, lizzie, claudia, nicole even ( somehow ) hope. he was so used to the idea of her being someone the people he loved, loved, so she became someone important without even having a proper conversation just yet. just them two. and oh, the thought of that kind of conversation made him sick to his stomach, truly, it did. what would you even say to the girl who was your best friend's girlfriend and girlfriend's best friend who, oops, was also in love with your girlfriend? better yet. what did you say to your very best friend who's girl is in love with yours? will, who hadn't had to deal with emotional situations outside of death and abandonment and plagued with a whole new unfamiliar fear type--- what did he do?
landon refuted his claims of his own stupidity, and will felt too tired to argue with him ( because as much as the world pushed landon, he pushed back. and he'd push will if he continued to rag onto himself ). "what does that mean?" he asked the words with genuine confusion, tiredness lapsed into his tone. not physical exhaustion, but the mental kind. the kind that came from saying words you never thought you'd utter, from being weak and crying like he had. fuck, it'd been a long time he'd given such emotion ( such negative emotion ) to something other then the hunt his father was on for him. for the man who'd taken any chance he had at having a normal life. who modeled him so thoroughly he wouldn't be himself without such molding. "so i've heard." he wished he could give a stronger smile than the weak one on his lips as he heard landon talk about the girl he so thoroughly loved with each bit of his heart. a head tilt at the accusation of selling himself short. "pretty sure i'm taller than you." he wasn't sure, but it was a nice cut of humor. or, so he hoped it was. "is this your love confession?" a burst of laughter, strangled by the raw emotional tone of his voice because. well. will knew landon loved him. but to have it affirmed, in a moment like this? it was something needed.(edited)
“thank you.” gentle words, spoken in soft tone. landon hadn’t a clue how much he needed to hear that. lizzie had said it, and it felt wonderful and horrible all at once. and frankly, will didn’t understand it. maybe it was guilt. maybe it was hope ( the feeling, not the girl ). maybe it was despair, glooming in his stomach from the happiness and sorrow that came from lizzie loving him, choosing him. happiness for himself, sorrow for her, guilt for his selfishness. and of course, there was landon. who’s love made him feel less guilty. it was a different sort of love, he knew. it didn’t have to be though. as much as they chose not to talk about it, that night DID happen. and, will knew, perhaps in another world-- another time-- things could have turned out so so different. a world where lizzie hadn’t stolen his heart so easily, maybe he would have given it to landon instead. even now, landon had a strong piece of his heart. alberit in a different way then he could have. it was a wonder, truly.
