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AT LONG LAST: Democracy
Pray, Gentle Readers, on this Momentous Day, extend your Benevolence and Assistance in this Pressing Matter.
What shall I do with my Feckless Nephew?
give him a £69 life annuity
ship him off to the colonies
marry him to an heiress
typhoid
PRAY TELL MY NEPHEW THAT he shall find No Success in his Wassailing if he persists in doing it Only at My Door-step.
What a Thing to read from the Pen of a Jaunty Fool, Indeed! I did No Such Deed. The People voted Typhoid!
HOW CURIOUS, that the Festival of Bichelmas (Upon which the Bi-Sexuals may be Seen) is Now Over, and Yet I see Mine Nephew lounging Upon the Settee Still!
MANY HAPPY RETURNS to my Feckless Nephew, who has Once Again dawdled and rollicked and tempted Fate Without it being to his Detriment.
two questions first is ur nephew single and second if he IS single what's his number
Gentle Reader--
I would not wish Such an Arrangement on a Despised Enemy, let Alone a Cherished and Estimable Reader of this Humble Journal. The Last I have spoken to R-- on the Subject, he has described Himself to be "Disinclined to Matrimony, as you Yourself are, though I find the Company of Ladies Especially Agreeable, Especially when they are Already Married, and their Husbands are Also Worth Knowing."
One is Forced to concede that he may have learned from Observation.
Yours &tc., The Editor
READERS—my Feckless Nephew has made Quite an Extraordinary Offer to me of a Narrowly Focused Treatise on the Subject of Apes. He claims these to be Quite Valuable, yet I am Compelled to wonder, can the Words of a Dilettante be worth Any More than the Paper they are Printed Upon?
Your feckless nephew and I have been fecklessing, and may I say: Meh.
Gentle Reader--
While I have No Great Opinion of my Nephew's Ability in Most Matters, I feel I need not have them confirmed in Such a Manner as this. My Avuncular Regard for my Nephew's Privacy Notwithstanding, However, I am Compelled to say, your use of the Present Perfect Progressive appears to imply, Despite your Dissatisfaction, that you find his Company Worthy Enough to continue pursuing it. Yours &tc., The Editor
