(n.) living in the moment detached from the bothers of life
word count; 978
notes; ateez 9th member au, cw (food)
genre; fluff, they're in love. that's it
request; there is girl member in Ateez and she is extremely close to San. Both of them secretly like each other and yearn for each other but do not express it because of them being in the same group. But one day, something happens and the girl member can’t help but kiss San, perhaps to shut him up or perhaps outta nowhere
it was clear as day. clearer than the glass windows seonghwa deep cleaned on the weekends. sadly, clarity wasn’t enough. being the 9th member of ateez came with having another family to see you through your mountains and valleys. speaking of mountains.
new message:
[pretty boy choi <3] i know it’s 1 a.m and we have practice tomorrow at 7, but i can’t sleep and i really want ramen :)
you rolled your eyes unlocking your phone.
[me]: and what makes you think i’m going to go with you?
[pretty boy choi <3]: wait you’re not going to? :(
if you really don’t want to it’s okay. i’ll just go by myself then…
[me]: you’re such a baby. give me 5 minutes
[pretty boy choi <3]: hehe love youuu
you couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you rolled out of bed and grabbed your sneakers and a hoodie when you heard your phone ping again.
[pretty boi choi <3]: say it back meanie >:(
[me]: or what?
[pretty boy choi <3]: ...no hugs? for a week! >:(
[me]: that would hurt you more than me and you know that
[pretty boy choi <3]: ...fine
but are you cominggggg. it’s cold
[me]: i’m coming i’m coming
and indeed, upon entering the 7/11, your mountain man was wearing shorts and a sweater while standing in front of the freezer trying to get a drink.
no wonder you’re cold san
he turns around at the sound of your voice.
YAYY YOU CAME FOR ME
i came for the food, relax
he pouts and it’s so irresistible. you want to lean in and kiss the pout off of his face but then again - you’re in a 7/11 with cameras in every corner. not the best place to let your emotions flow.
it was always like this. secret hangouts, fleeting touches, warm smiles, eyes lingering on lips for a bit too long. it pained both of you but it was what was best for the group. it wasn’t like either of you were oblivious to each other’s feelings. like you said, clearer than seonghwa’s glass, but you had to think of 7 other people. it wasn’t fair for you two to be selfish just because you harbored not-so-secret feelings for each other. you were still able to hang around each other this way without drawing too much suspicion even though sometimes all you wanted to do was kiss each other senseless in the practice room or after a stage or after a win.
you followed san to the cashier and headed back upstairs to the lounge so you could both eat in peace. it was silent but not a heavy, awkward silence. more like the kind of silence that brings comfort. san scarfs his food down as the soup gets all over his face and some dry vegetables end up on his lip. you laugh and set your cup to the side, grabbing a napkin.
you eat like a child
he looks up with bright eyes as he watches your hand near his face.
maybe i do it on purpose so you can baby me
you don’t have to do anything on purpose for me to baby you
and there’s the silence again. a warm silence that embraces the two of you as you wipe his face gently. you can tell he’s staring, but you don’t mind.
hey
you feel him grab your wrist as you begin to pull away. he takes the napkin from out of your hand, crumpling it up and placing it on the side.
hey?
you look at him with big eyes startled at the sudden action. gosh he loved your eyes so much. you feel him move his hand from your wrist into your hand interlocking your fingers together.
you know i have feelings for you right? that’s never changed
i know. and you know i have feelings for you right? that’s never changed either
i know...it’s just...i don’t know, i feel bad that we can’t really act on it because of the company
he looks down at the table. the silence feels sad now.
yeah...it sucks for sure...you chuckle bitterly and try not to get too emotional in front of him. you don’t want him to feel worse than he probably already does, maybe in another place, or time, or universe even, we’d be free to fall in love
it takes a minute, but san looks up smiling.
that’s okay
it is?
yup, he looks over at the microwave clock. 1:49 a.m.
you hear his chair scrape against the floor before you feel him pulling you. let’s go. you scramble all the trash together throwing it away as he starts walking towards your dorm again, and it’s not long before you find yourself in your dark room, the only light source being the moon from those really clean windows, wow.
okay...um...goodnight then?
no no listen, you said that maybe in another place and time maybe we could fall in love right?
yeah, but i don’t get what that has to do wi-
so how about here and now?
what?
another place. another time. your room. 1...he takes a peek at his phone...57 a.m.
and you finally realize that he’s been holding you in his arms this entire time with his arms around your waist and your hands on his chest, foreheads as close as ever. and maybe you’ve fallen in love with a genius. you smile at him with that smile he would die for.
this works
you lean in a little more closing the gap and press your lips against his own letting your arms hook around the back of his neck. you can tell he’s smiling as he hums into the kiss. and for a few minutes, neither of you care about companies, or images, or even how your breaths smell like msg and spicy noodles. all that matters right now, is how freeing kissing each other feels.
