#potc

[kakastravakaianapoda]

shout out to potc character Bootstrap Bill Turner because if he did not have the galaxy brain idea to hide a cursed piece of gold from a bloodthirsty, vicious, immortal pirate crew by sending it to his defenseless child, non of the movies would have taken place the way they did.

Literally father of all time no further notes no further comments

[aetherixs]

i have never seen a single 'pirates of the caribbean' film so my friend insisted that i watch the first one with her and i'm obsessed.

the villain’s origin story is that he can’t eat apples anymore. every fight scene plays like a slapstick comedy. two key combat sequences end with our sexy leading men getting boinked on the head. the climax is initiated by one ship firing forks at another ship. everyone is unreasonably hot. plot armor made only of the word “parlay”. the Redcoats are more useless than you could possibly imagine. Elizabeth almost drowns, gets held hostage, and then her entire village is destroyed but the worst part of her day is that a man proposed to her. a crew of skeleton pirates do drag to trojan horse their way into the final battle. truly insane stuff can't wait for more.

[veryfastnighuncatchable]

Nobody is doing it like pirates of the caribbean was doing it. The first movie spends 20 minutes introducing us to every main character, their thoughts on piracy, and how nuanced and fraught the subject is in port royal, and then proceeds to introduce the most pirate pirate to ever pirate

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[iwhumpyou]

rewatched the entire PoTC trilogy on an international flight and I can't believe I forgot how funny it is.

Barbossa is the most exasperated character in any scene he's in, unless he's winning. then he's the smuggest son of a bitch on screen (he literally returns from the dead smugly eating an apple). but majority of the time, he's 'why am I the only adult here'. man rolls his eyes so much I half-expected him to turn straight to the camera.

when Will asks Elizabeth to marry him while they are fighting Davy Jones' crew, stuck in a maelstrom, and trapped in the final battle, the first word out of her mouth is "Barbossa!". she then continues by asking Barbossa to marry them, but for a split second Will's face goes like 'Barbossa? Barbossa?? I didn't even know he was on the map of this convoluted love quadrangle!'

when they're in Singapore and Sao Feng threatens the spy he found and Will, Elizabeth, and Barbossa all look at each other to confirm that none of them have snuck in a spy they forgot to tell the others about, before shrugging and telling Sao Feng to go ahead and kill him.

Barbossa's eyes just getting wide and wider the more weapons Elizabeth pulls out of her clothes. c'mon man, let a woman have her toys!

rewatching really gives you the full picture of how many people are scheming at any given time and how each person's schemes intersect with the others, even if they're nominally on the same side. everyone also gets So Upset when their scheme is foiled, accidentally or intentionally, by someone else's scheme, as though they themselves aren't scheming at that very moment.

Barbossa's iron balls. I'm sorry, this is the funniest dick joke in the trilogy that defines how many dick jokes Disney can stick in a movie before it stops being PG-13. Jack's reaction really says it all.

rereading this list I see it's quite heavily tilted in favor of Barbossa which I now realize is because I empathize with Barbossa way more than I did as a kid. I too am frustrated to be surrounded by idiots while I'm the only adult around. man just wants to eat his apple in peace goddammit. so he did a little mutiny and maybe some more murder and mayhem and also maybe unleashed a pagan god upon the world. the guy really likes his apples, is that a crime?!?

[owenhcrper]

this has probably been pointed out before but I was rewatching dmc and I noticed davy jones uses his tentacles to keep his hat on when the ship goes underwater

and that's such a neat detail idk

[beemovieerotica]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them