My conservative mother-in-law and her new love of hemp!
Do you get side-eye from your: spouse, coworker, friends, neighbors, parents or (insert any other judgmental person or people you know here) when the subject of marijuana comes up?
If you share your love of all-things-pot in mixed company, are you made to feel like a loser, a criminal, or some lazy “pothead” who is capable only of making poor life choices?
If you are still reading this, my guess is yes. I’m here today to tell you that I’ve been there too. I’m also here to tell you that there is hope! How do I know this? Because I have witnessed a miracle. My conservative, Persian mother-in-law LOVES cannabis!
In today’s society, the winds of change are a blowin’ when it comes to the subject of ”weed”. With the legalization not only of medical marijuana, but recreational marijuana as well, more people are speaking freely about the benefits of using cannabis both medicinally and casually. Until recently, my mother-in-law was NOT one of those people.
Let me give you some background information to set the scene. I will change the names here to protect the innocent. My amazing, loving Middle Eastern mother-in-law, let’s call her Mary Jane, or Mary for short, and I have a wonderful relationship that has spanned more than two decades. That said, we have a little bit of a language barrier. She understands some English, but is shy to speak it. My Farsi (Persian language) is fantastic as long as I keep it to ”Hi, how are you? I’m fine, thank you. It’s warm/cold.” After that, somebody could yell fire and I would reply “It’s cold.” You get the picture. Our communication is either translated by my sweet husband, or my fabulously glamourous sister-in-law (more on her later), or through a series of award-winning charades.
More often than not, Mary and I lose some of our conversational impact through these translations. I suspect my husband, referred to from here on out as “The Hubs”, and my sister-in-law whom we will call Sophia (because everybody she meets tells her she looks like Sophia Loren) cheat and don’t always tell Mary everything I’m saying. This is not due to lack of understanding, or laziness. This is for my own protection. If Mary knew everything I’m saying, she would be very concerned for her only son because he is married to a crazy person.
Mary eats only very healthy food that she prepares herself. She does not drink alcohol, use tobacco, or use prescription medication. I‘ve never even seen her take an ibuprofen. Mary exercises every day, and takes all of her vitamins. I’m not going to share with you Mary’s age, because even though we have changed her name here, she will murder me. I will say she has not reached the age of eighty yet, but you could torture me with shredded coconut and Keeping Up With the Kardashians reruns and I still wouldn’t give up the goods.
In addition to adhering to this strict regimen to care for her aging body, Mary also adheres to an unwavering loyalty to conservative thoughts and behaviors. Loosely translated, she is a bit of a worrywart. And I mean that in the best way possible. If there is a loose screw on the floor, hours will be spent wondering and searching for its origin, in the event the house might fall down if not replaced. If a missed phone call is not returned immediately, subsequent phone calls to all people and possible locales are placed until the recipient is tracked down to:
1. Make sure all parties are safe, and not lying in a ditch somewhere.
2. Ensure that said parties have been fed properly.
3. Offer lunch at the house - even if we’ve already eaten. Twenty minutes ago. Really, we’re not hungry. What? Oh yes, we’ll drive to the house immediately to pick up homemade Persian food for later, thank you!
Mary is of the mindset that all rules must be strictly adhered to, particularly when it comes to the government. There is no black and white when it comes to obeying the law. We have established that Mary is a worrywart, so you can imagine the stress it caused her to learn that her favorite (only) daughter-in-law had started a cannabis-based business. Yep, we told Mary that I’m into pot.
Who explained to Mary details about the new CBD-infused bath product line I created with my friend and business partner? The Hubs and Sophia of course! Prior to the unveiling of this information, I was quite nervous. The Hubs, Sophia and I discussed at length our plan of action and just how to break the news without breaking Mary’s heart. The first step was to explain exactly what the products are, and what makes them so great. After explaining the benefits of absorbing CBD through the skin, we had to attack the legality of the situation. CBD is legal folks! More on that subject here.
Lastly, moral implications had to be addressed. After convincing Mary that customers would not be going to jail for buying our products, and that I would not be going to jail for making them, and that The Hubs would not be going to jail for be married to a drug lord, it was challenging to reassure her that I was not taking the first steps on a path leading directly to drug addiction and homelessness. You see, CBD does not get you high. THC, the other stuff found in marijuana gives users the psychotropic effect of being “high.” And there is NO THC in any of our products.
What was the final tactic used to convince Mary that we are on to something good? We asked her to try some of the merch. As well as Mary takes care of herself, she does suffer from ailments that you would expect a not-yet-eighty-year-old person to experience. Muscle pain, joint pain, insomnia, digestive issues, anxiety...just to name a few. You know what CBD is good for? Alleviating muscle pain, joint pain, insomnia, digestive issues, anxiety...just to name a few.
So we started with Bath Crack CBD Bath Salts. Sophia oversaw the project by drawing the bath, adding the Bath Crack and keeping Mary in the tub long enough so as to experience the benefits of the CBD. The result? Epic fail. Poor Mary who is not a bath-taker just could not relax and enjoy. Getting in and out of the tub is no fun, and once she was in, it was uncomfortable for her. Ok, back to the drawing board. How could we share with Mary the amazing experience of CBD?
Vaping was completely out of the question (Have you lost your mind?) and with a very sensitive tummy, we did not think that oral consumption was the right decision either. Think, think, think…and bingo. We have to make a lotion that Mary can use. So came the birth of CBD Whipped Body Butter.
It took us some time to finally come up with the right formulation. Not too greasy, not too runny, scent had to be just right (Amber Oil and Orange Blossom, yummy) and of course, we had to get the right amount of CBD into the jar. Once we got the consistency, the aromatherapy and the potency right, it was time to roll out the ultimate test: the Mary test.
We gave Mary a jar and asked her to rub some on any part of her body that hurt. She started with a little around her neck and shoulder area. She loved the scent! A few minutes later she rubbed a little more. Wow, starting to feel good and pain feels like it is lessening. Let’s rub some more…in more places. This is great for the back too! And hands, and feet, and arms, and legs and so on and so forth. Thirty minutes later, Sophia is gently reminding Mary that a little bit goes a long way. An hour later, Sophia is wrestling the jar away telling Mary that she should probably save some for later.
That incident was three weeks ago. Since then, we have not seen Mary without her jar of CBD Whipped Body Butter in her hand. She is either using it on herself, or any unsuspecting victim within reach. She loves the relaxing qualities of CBD and aromatherapy in addition to alleviating her pain. Mary has several siblings residing all over the world. She calls them daily to rave about how much she loves the product and how proud she is of her favorite (only) daughter-in-law. She has spread the word to all of her friends, and may have tried to strike up a conversation in a grocery store line about it.
So there you have it dear reader, the story of how this girl and her family introduced pot to Mary Jane.
When faced with cannabis skepticism, honest and clear communication is most effective. Understand that age, cultural background and upbringing all affect a person’s outlook on certain subjects. Love and patience are the keys to bringing awareness to all facets of hot-button topics such as cannabis, or politics, or the ongoing dispute of over/under for the TP roll. Actually, no discussion needed for TP – over, ALWAYS over. Under should be a punishable offense.
Do you have more questions about CBD? Check this blog for frequent posts, or check out the Home and FAQ pages of our website for more information. Wanna get your hands on some Bath Crack Bath Salts or CBD Whipped Body Butter? Buy direct here.
