ever got that tight, sincere, crazy kind of feeling hug? ever seen someone look at you like you're the most beautiful thing in this world? YES. and am i happy? NO. did i like it? NO. you see, most of the time, we ignore those who love us, those who care so much for us, in ways that we can't explain. sometimes, i just have to say this out loud.. I'M NOT REALLY INTO HIM BC I'M WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN'T THERE AT ALL, MY IDEAL PRINCE WHO'S LOST IN THE WOODS PERHAPS AND MY HAPPY EVER AFTER IN ANOTHER DIMENSION OF THIS PLANET. unfortunately, i'm not in love with this friend of mine. i can't force myself to like him in return bc i don't feel something. i like his companion but there's no spark in it. i miss him when he's not around but not enough to break my heart into pieces. am i just selfish enough to keep him that way since we're friends and i can't seem to lose him? but i can't tell him these things bc i don't wanna hurt him. it's so unfair for him & i know that. he looks at me with emotions, i speak to him in silence. he aches for me, i don't yearn for him. and i'm terribly SORRY. SORRY- that's all that i can say.
