entry two.
So it’s been a while since I first posted anything. I have to admit I haven’t needed to ‘talk’ about how I feel since then. However, I can feel myself slipping back into the same pit I was in last time. Not that I’m surprised, to be honest. I haven’t had as many ‘down’ days but lately, I’ve been having a day here and there where I don’t feel anything.
Maybe I’m just tired, or homesick, or am I imagining it all this time. It doesn’t feel as intense as it was last time so it’s a possibility that the later is an end of term expectancy that I should definitely feel immensely angry, immeasurably sad and fragile, and just numb to the point that I don’t have the will to move.
I feel like this isn’t bad enough to even try to talk to someone this time round. That’s why I’m writing on here again. I’m starting to feel that “Scary Black Nothingness” creep back into my mind again and I don’t think I can run from it.
There’s that nagging feeling hint at my feeling pathetic again… at least I can go home soon. And be where I feel safe. But how long until this envelopes me like it did last time?
