#fellow webheads

[ask-aurachnid]

[@ask-spider-therapist]

[ID in alt]

Frankie only hesitates for a moment as they set their watch to open a portal to Dr. Sims' dimension. They can't help being a little nervous. Other than their high school counselor, they haven't been to therapy since before they became a vigilante. Frankie's used to meeting new spiders, but this is... different.

But they're determined to do this. So, they take a deep breath and step into the swirling vortex that holds the infinitely sprawling webs of the multiverse. They've never gotten used to the feeling of their body stretching like taffy, and they trip over their own feet as they land on the roof of Rest Assured Therapy.

It takes a moment to orient themself with the new world and the physics of the universe before they feel steady enough to start scaling down the side of the building. Finding the right window doesn't take long, and they knock politely on the glass to catch Dr. Sims' attention.

"Hey, Doc. Is this a good time?" they ask with a wave.

[ask-aurachnid]

wondered this for a while. what color do you glow naturally? is the green and blue theming to throw people off

-toxin

(also, hello)

Hello, Toxin!

I glow green! Here, lemme get a picture or two (they're really tall so I'll put them below the cut)

I think that the lab where I was bit modified the spiders using a fungus called mycena chlorophos. The place was overgrown with them, and they glow the same shade of green.

I thought it was kinda useless at first until Spidey and I nearly got drowned in a water tank. After that, I installed some specialty panels in my suit that let me light up without stripping lmao.

It kinda clashes with my hair, but what can you do?

[ask-aurachnid]

Do y'all think it would fuck up his timeline too much if I warned Tommy about the clone thing?

[ask-aurachnid]

It's November here, now. That means it's time to start the nigh endless struggle to fend off hypothermia and diapause for the next four or so months.

So now I'm curious. Regardless of whether or not you can thermoregulate, how do my fellow "spandex" clad web-slingers keep warm in the winter?

Personally, I had to make a second suit. It's wool lined (used to be fleece until I took my first polar bear plunge against my will) and I butchered a heated blanket to keep my core and extremities warm. Peter is the one who gave me the idea and schematics after I nearly died from hypothermia my first winter.

So how do the rest of y'all keep warm?

[ask-aurachnid]

Pemmican Update

Alright, @ask-spidermom you jackass (affectionate)

I made the thing! I halved the recipe because dried fruit is expensive and I wasn't sure I was going to like it, but I finally got the time to make it.

it took a long-ass time to dry my ground beef bc I kept having to leave my apartment to do stuff, so I kept having to bake it over and over. It was in the oven for a total of ten hours.

BUT I MADE IT, and it has been sitting in my freezer to set the lard because that stuff has a super low melting point

I cut it into little squares, and reluctantly took a bite.

and you know what?

You know what?

It wasn't fucking bad! Lean meat with no fucking water content doesn't taste like anything, and neither does lard! So the only real flavor is the ground fruit! (I chose apricots, prunes, cranberries, and blueberries.)

The terrible meat powder was crunchier than maybe it was supposed to be, because I didn't grind it very fine, and if I make it again, I'll definitely decrease the amount of lard because pooled in some spots on the baking sheet making it look a unsettlingly moldy :0(

It just tasted like creamy mixed dried fruit with a little bit of crunch and it was good! None of those things together should taste good!

I hate that it tastes good! Fuck you, Ez! /lh

[ooc: these are my genuine thoughts on the recipe. :0( it is no longer cursed]

[ask-aurachnid]

would you rank wade wilson above or below frank castle in terms of being an appropriate father figure - @ask-spiderspike

Below. 100%

As murderous and half insane as Castle is, at least he's had experience in a fatherly role.

Deadpool? He's more of the irresponsible uncle or older cousin who might get you sent to the hospital because he dared you to do something stupid.

[ask-aurachnid]

If it helps, whenever Ez has uh, relations with a morally bankrupt woman they say “well, it’s a win for feminism” but I don’t think that applies to Castle… Yet. That’s right, with my transgendinator we can make all crimes a win for feminism!

- Harry 34769

Yeah, I doubt the "relations" between Ez and the vague morally bankrupt woman are in any way similar to the one-sided parent-child thing I got going on with Castle sdlkjfsdkljf

Anyway, magic beam of trans ur gender ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[ask-aurachnid]

HOLY SHIT I CAN SEE YOUR BLOG NOW

I was fucking with my computer for hours to see if I could get it to show, it used to just glitch my computer out whenever I clicked the link.

Normally I'd approach with more caution, but fuck it, I gotta know.

did i discover the multiverse before Reed Richards

Haha! It seems you did!

Welcome to the club! I'd say message me if you ever need anything, but there's a lot of spiders around here with way more experience than me.