Alright, @ask-spidermom you jackass (affectionate)
I made the thing! I halved the recipe because dried fruit is expensive and I wasn't sure I was going to like it, but I finally got the time to make it.
it took a long-ass time to dry my ground beef bc I kept having to leave my apartment to do stuff, so I kept having to bake it over and over. It was in the oven for a total of ten hours.
BUT I MADE IT, and it has been sitting in my freezer to set the lard because that stuff has a super low melting point
I cut it into little squares, and reluctantly took a bite.
It wasn't fucking bad! Lean meat with no fucking water content doesn't taste like anything, and neither does lard! So the only real flavor is the ground fruit! (I chose apricots, prunes, cranberries, and blueberries.)
The terrible meat powder was crunchier than maybe it was supposed to be, because I didn't grind it very fine, and if I make it again, I'll definitely decrease the amount of lard because pooled in some spots on the baking sheet making it look a unsettlingly moldy :0(
It just tasted like creamy mixed dried fruit with a little bit of crunch and it was good! None of those things together should taste good!
I hate that it tastes good! Fuck you, Ez! /lh
[ooc: these are my genuine thoughts on the recipe. :0( it is no longer cursed]