Summery: Just a dumb episode-like story of James, Lars, Kirk, and Jason are invited to a Easter themed party that sort of sucks...One of them leave the party early.
Warning: Swearing, alcohol, and SEX. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Here's a pic. I hope you like what I wrote. I worked so hard on this.
Steven Adler throws a Easter themed party. EVERYONE who is ANYONE showed up, even the late 1986-2001 lineup of Metallica showed up all wearing bunny ears.
❀ James is wearing a black tank top with the words "Fuck off" printed on it, dark blue jeans with a bullet belt around the waist, his ugly white sneakers, and a silver necklace. He's got black bunny ears on his head.
❀ Lars is wearing a white tank top, black pants, white socks and some sneakers. He's got white and mint green bunny ears.
❀ Kirk is wearing a short sleeve buttoned black shirt, black jeans, black boots, and black/light purple bunny ears.
❀ Jason is wearing a white tank top with a yellow skull on it, camouflaged pants, white sneakers, and white/blue bunny ears on his head.
Lars: Um, so who threw this party again?
Kirk: I think one of the members from Guns N' Roses.
Lars: Nice.
Jason: So are we just going to stand here with beers in our hands, or are we gonna have fun?
James: Jason's right!
Lars: (Points to Fem!Kirk, Fem!Lars and Fem!James) I spot 3 ladies! Lets go slide into their conversations.
The scene switches to Fem! Kirk (Kim), Fem!Lars (Lara), anbd Fem!James (Jamie) all standing together with beer in their hands.
❀ Fem! Kirk (Kim) is wearing a white fur bikini, white heels, and white/pastel purple bunny ears.
❀ Fem! Lars (Lara) is wearing a sheer leopard print body suit over black panties and bra, black open toe heels, and bunny ears with a veil.
❀ Fem! James (Jamie) is wearing a lavender one piece with white fur trim and a white bunny tail, white heels with fur balls on them and white and lavender bunny ears.
Lara: There are no hot guys here. Why did we even come???
Kim: I don't know (points to Dave Mustaine) He's cute. I mean look at those arms and his fiery red hair. (Licks her lips)
Lara: I'll pass.
Jamie: (Takes a sip of her beer) Your standards are too high my friend.
Lara: Um, and I think your standards are too low, my friend.
James, Lars, Kirk, and Jason slide into their convo.
Lars: I know there are no hot guys here. Oh wait...there are. They're standing right here.
Jason: Hello ladies. Great party, huh?
The 3 girls stare at the 4 guys looking all of them up and down.
Jamie: Who the fuck are you guys?
James: I'm James Hetfield, the lead singer of Metallica.
Lars: I'm Lars Ulrich and I play drums. You may have heard of me.
The 3 women just have blank faces.
Lara: Um, nope.
Kirk: I'm Kirk Hammett! I play guitar.
Jason: I'm Jason Newsted, the bassist.
All 3 of their female clones all stare at Jason.
Lara: (Whispers to Kim and Jamie) Why he kinda...
Jamie: (Whispers back) Shit, he's cute!
Kim: (Whispers back) I'm thinking the same.
Before anyone could say anything Dave Mustaine pushes James off-screen.
Dave: And I'm Dave. I WAS party of this band and WAS their guitarist, but I got fired!
Kim: That sucks.
Jamie: Bummer.
Dave: It's okay! I created Megadeth! It's all good. Anyways don't waste your time with any of these guys.
Dave walks away. James comes back on screen rubbing his head growling.
Lars:....Anyways, we're Metallica. What are your names?
Jamie: I'm Jamie Alana Hetfield.
Lara: I'm Lara Ulrich.
Kim: I'm Kim Lee Hammet.
All the guys have blank expressions on their face.
Jason: Huh....
James: Well, nice to meet you pretty girls.
Jamie rolls her eyes. She's 23. She isn't a "girl" but a woman.,
Kirk: (Eying Lara up and down) Nice outfits ladies.
Kim: Thank you.
Lars: (Looking at Jamie's legs) Yeah, I must say. You girls have great tastes in outfits.
Lara: We can't say the same about you guys (Snickers).
Kirk: Huh?
Jamie: (Snickers) Nice bunny ears. All 4 of you look like dorks. If you think those ears are going to help you pick up women, it's not working.
Kim and Lara start giggling.
James: (Turns to Lars) I fucking told you wearing these were a bad idea.
Lars: Well, we can't just show up without wearing something!
Kim: I don't know. I think they all look adorable with them on.
Lars: (Turns to James) HA! told you!
James: (Suddenly happy) Thank you Kim.
Lara: Okay, I don't want to waste my night talking to you guys. Nice meeting you all.
Jamie: We'll be by the pizza and candy.
Kim: See you cuties later.
The girls all wink at Jason and leave to go by the pizza and candy.
James: I call dibs on Kirks female look-a like!
Lars: Cool! I call dibs on Jamie. She's tall and I LOVE TALL WOMEN!
Kirk: Cool. I pick Lara.
Jason: Who do I get?
James: Nobody, there are not enough women and I ain't sharing.
Lars: Anyways why don't we talk about our future wives. Did you see how tall Jamie is?
James: She's like an inch short than me, dweeb. Anyways, isn't Kim so pretty? She reminds me of Kristen.
Kirk: Oh, I know! Lara has gorgeous hair.
Jason: (Heavily sighs)
While James, Lars, and Kirk are distracted, Jason decides to get some pizza and candy. He approaches the table. He grabs some cheese pizza and some recees eggs. He finds himself surrounded by Jamie, Lara, and Kim all smiling at him.
Jason: Hey, ladies. Have you tried the pizza? I want to know if it's good.
Lara: Yeah, um, I'm not hungry for pizza.
Kim: Me neither.
Jamie: It's actually pretty good, but I'm saving room for dessert.
Jason: Oh, cool, what's for dessert? I hear there's a bunny cake here, but I don't see any.
Jason isn't obvious to them all flirting with him.
Jamie: Yeah, I'm not in the mood for cake.
Lara: Me neither.
Kim: I want to have a piece of you.
Jason couldn't believe this. 3 cute girls want him. He didn't know how to respond. Yeah, he knows he's cute, but didn't think he was as good as his bandmates.
Jason: (Blushes hard) R-really? Have you seen my friends? You probably would prefer them anyways.
Lara: We've seen them and aren't interested at the moment.
Jason: A-are you sure? They'd be really mad if I stole their girls.
Kim: We do not belong to any of them so it shouldn't be a problem.
Jamie: Say, handsome, after you eat your pizza, how about my girls, you, and I ditch this party and head over to your place.
Jason feels hot all of the sudden. He reader than the red solo cups that they're all holding.
Jason: I would love that as lot.
Jason quickly eats his pizza and his drinks his beer. Then him, Kim, Lara, and Jamie all leave the party. Kirk, James, and Lars don't really notice.
Lars: Hey, um, where's Jason?
James: (Scratches his head) How the hell would I know? I don't have a bell on him!
Kirk: (Shrugs) Maybe he went to the food table.
The scene switches to Jason, Kim, Lara, and Jamie back at Jason's (Kirks, Lars's, and James's) home. They're all in Jason's bedroom. Jason is HAVING THE TIM,E OF HIS LIFE as are Jamie, Kim, and Lara.
Jamie and Kim are watching currently. Jason has his pants down to his ankles. He's blushing hard. Lara is in front of him with his cock in her hands.
Lara: Don't feel ashamed. I'm going to make you feel good. I'm pretty great at this.
Lara starts licking his cock. To start off, she slowly swirls her tongue around his very hard cock while looking up at Jason who is somewhat red.
Lara: Does Mr. Newsted like feeling my tongue on his cock?
Jason: F...fuck yes I do...
Lara: Well, it's about to get better...
Lara then proceeds to start sucking his cock up and down. Jason starts moaning. Lara starts sucking faster and more deeper.
Jason: (moans under his breath) S...shit! You're really good....
Lara: Mmmmmmm.
Lara then starts to deep throat his cock, which gave Jason an extreme shock of pleasure throughout his body.
Jason: FUCK! You're really taking it.
Lara: What can I say, your dick tastes so good....
Lara continues to deep throat Jason's dick.
Jason: Yes, keep sucking me off!
Lara: Mmmmmm, you got it, babe.
Kim: I wish i could film this shit right now.
Jason lets out a loud pleasured moan as he grabs onto the sheets of the bed.
Lara: Mmmmm...talk dirty to me Mr. Newsted.
Jason: You're such a good girl, aren't you? This dick is throbbing so much! Yeah, suck me off! Keep it up, and don't let it down.
Lara continued deep throating faster. Jason is about read to blow his load all over her face.
Jason: Get ready...I'm about to cum!
Lara: I'm ready!
Jason: H-here it comes...
Jason blew his load all over Lara's face.
Jamie: Holy shit! Where did you learn to talk dirty?
Jason: (Heavily breathing) Oh, I shared a room with James Hetfield, so I learned from the best!
Jamie: Sweet.
Kim: My turn! My turn!
It is Kim's turn. Lara goes to wipe her face off. Kim gets onto the bed. Jason is on top of her kissing her.
Jason: I've always wanted to kiss Kirk. This will be the closest thing.
Jason and Kim start kissing. He then starts kissing her neck.
Jason: Do I have permission to rip that bikini off of you?
Kim: Yes you do.
Off goes Kim's fur bikini.
Kim: Do you want to see what I taste like?
Jason: Oh, yeah.
Jason starts kissing her up until he gets to her soaking pussy. Jason licks his pointer and middle finger. His fingers grazed her pussy lips so gently, causing her to moan and shudder from the feeling.
Kim: (Gasps) Oh, f-fuck yes.
Jason: It only gets better from here, baby.
Jason then sticks his fingers deeper inside Kim's pussy and feels around her cervix.
Kim: Oh, s-shit....
Jason licks his fingers once more and proceeds to twirl her clit around with his fingers.
Kim: Ahhh, fuck...
Jason: Now it's time to have some dessert.
Jason sticks his tongue inside of her pussy, thus eating her out.
Kim: Oh my goodness! This is so much better!
Jason flicks his tongue and licks and sucks all around. Kim has her hand on Jason's head. She's moaning loudly.
Kim: Jason...I'm gonna c-cum...
That's when Kim came. She squirted all over the place. Kim is satisfied.
Jason: Tastes like vanilla...
Lara: Where did you learn to eat like that?
Jason: Kirk told me some techniques.
Jamie: Ladies, I think it's about time we get this party started.
Lara: Yeah! I've been looking forward to this all night!
Jamie takes off her one-piece bunny outfit. Lara gets rid of her outfit. Jason lays down in bed. Jamie gets on top of Jason's cock. He sticks his cock inside of her. He starts thrusting. At the same time Jamie is bouncing like a bunny. Meanwhile, Lara sits on his face, and Kim starts licking Jason's cock. Jason uses the same technique on Lara.
Lara is moaning loudly. She feels pleasure throughout her body. This guy knows what he's doing.
Lara: F-fuck!
Jamie: Oh fuck yes, Jason...this feels so good...
Kim: Mmmmm, yes!
Jamie: Right there, baby....mmmmm...your cock feels amazing.
This is the best night of Jason's life.,...second best., The first is when he got into Metallica. Now he wonders what his bandmates are doing.
The scene switches to Kirk, Lars, and James walking home with Easter baskets.
James: That party sucked! Jason is smart to just leave there. Too bad we didn't follow him.
Lars: I don't know James, I liked Easter theme going on and the pizza was pretty good.
Kirk: Too bad we didn't bring a date home. I really wanted to show Lara my guitar skills.
The scene then switches back to Jason, Lara, Jamie, and Kim.
Lara: I'm about r-ready to cum..
Jamie: Me too! Lets cum together.
Lara: O-one, two, three.
Lara cums on Jason's face, Jamie cums, and Jason shoots his seed right in Jamie. Everyone, but Kim were catching their breath. Jamie is sitting on the side of the bed. Kim is laying next to Jason, and Lara is getting dressed.
Jason: Holy shit, never thought I'd bring 3 beautiful women home, let alone have 3 beautiful women want me and not my bandmates.
Jamie: (Breathing heavily) Well, it happened. You are pretty great.
Kim: You know how to make a woman feel good.
Jamie: Amen to that.
Lara: Agree.
Lara and Jamie leave. It's just Kim and Jason cuddling in bed. The remaining Metallica members arrive home.
James: Why does it smell like sex?
Lars: (Shrugs I don't know)
Lars and Kirk, who are somewhat knock loudly on the WRONG door.
Lars: Why the fuck isn't this door opening?
Kirk: Try kicking it down.
As Lars is about to do that the door opens to a pissed off Kim wearing only a blanket. Jason is on the bed covering himself.
Jason: Hehe, hey guys...
Kim: Do you mind?!
Kirk: Sorry!
Lars: Ah, shit! I'm so sorry.
Kirk: Sorry Jason!
Kirk grabs Lars and head to their room. Later....
Lars:...Um, can you believe Jason stole our girls?
Kirk: Sort of. Probably what we get for earlier anyways. We should start treating him better from now on so that doesn't happen again.
Fem!Kirk (Kimberley “Kim” Lee Hammett) is an adorable cinnamon bun like her male counterpart. She’s got cutesy moments with her band mates Jamie, Lara, Claire, Jaye, and Roberta (Especially Lara). With Lara they have a ship name (Klara). Just like Klars, they kiss, hug, look at each other with that “awe” look, and have no problem undressing in front of each other either. It pisses off Jamie. Kim and Lara don’t care though. She’s a vegetarian too as she considers cows her friends.
Kim: Have you considered going vegetarian?
Lara: Um, no.
Jamie: (Eating a hamburger) No.
Kim: You two should consider it.
She’s a funny gal too
Kim: (Has a cigarette in her belly button) Hey, Lara!
Lara: (Chuckles) Um, Kim, what are you doing?
Kim: I’m pregnant!
Claire: Aye, Jamie, check this shit out! Kim’s got a baby in the oven.
Jamie: Huh, I always thought Lara would be the first to pop out babies.
Lara: >:(
Kim: I’m just fucking around. I make my man wear condoms.
She’d be shipped with either Lara Ulrich 💅 ❤️ or Cliff or James 🔥. Why Cliff or James? Because both dated girls who kinda looked like Kirk.
Fem!tallica featuring Kim Hammett, Jamie Hetfield, Lara Ulrich, and Jaye Newstead
Jaye joins the band. She is a hardcore fan. An all female thrash band featuring 4 beautiful talented ladies? Hell yeah. She never thought she’d be playing with her idols.
Jaye: Hi, I’m Jaye Newstead. I’m your new bassist. I hope you girls will love my playing. I can’t believe I’m going to be playing next to my idol Lara
Lara: Welcome to the band, Jaye. We’re happy to have you in the band.
Jamie: (Mumbles) No we’re not.
Lara: Ignore her. Me and Kim are excited to have you on the band.
Jaye: I’m glad.
Kim: Why don’t you help yourself to some mint ice cream in our kitchen. There’s a bowl sitting on the table, pal.
Jaye: Oh thank you! You girls rock! I love you girls more already.
Lara: Yeah, we can see that. You’re eyes are dilated.
(Jaye goes into their kitchen not knowing they’re playing a trick on her)
Jamie: God I hate her style. She’s dressed like she came from fucking Motley Crue.
Kim: (Shrugs) I like her. She seems sweet.
Lara: Be nice Jamie. In a week she’ll be dressing like us.
Jamie: (Smirks) Whatever. I sure hope she enjoys her sweet hot treat.
(Kim and Lara start giggling. Suddenly screams can be heard from the kitchen. Apparently Jaye had a bowl of wasabi, not mint ice cream. She’s currently chugging a glass bottle of milk. Jamie, Lara, and Kim start laughing louder.)
