#feministd1rection

[stereokink]

feministd1rection replied to your post “i know i’m gonna get shit for posting this but like. y’all can...”

yeah, it's been messy

sooo messy. and OBVIOUSLY i’m not saying everyone who is siding with perrie or whatever is racist, but like, i know that some of these people couldn’t wait until they had a chance to drag zayn (bc racism) publicly without being called racist.

like ultimately, we know next to nothing about their relationship, anyway.

[sleepymouses]

so... it's always bugged me that you tag #go away heather when you're talking about your life and stuff? Like, it's your blog and of course you can do whatever you want! but it sounds really self deprecating and like, I hate to think that you're telling yourself to "go away" when you have things to say. I hope you know there's nothing wrong with expressing your thoughts and talking about yourself, especially on your own blog.

hm. 

u know i think someone else mentioned that too like ages ago, actually i believe my friend julia said my old blog title ‘you tolerate me, you really really tolerate me!’ bothered her for p much the same reasons and although the blog title was also a whose line reference and was kinda more unique and i liked it more for that than anything, i think that both that and my personal posts thing probably originally started out being kinda self deprecating bc that is definitely something ive really struggled with for years like quite very badly and while maybe its still something that catches me off guard and gets me now and then, i feel like now ive changed enough even in the last couple years or so that i dont feel like thats the kind of vibe i want to give off, that thats not how i want to feel about myself anymore. 

but yeah, anyways, i did change my blog title bc i hadnt thought about it until someone pointed it out and while my current one isnt quite as unique, i think it reflects my current self a lot better now and its just more positive and also 1daf

and my personal tag, well i dunno what id change it to, ive just been using it for so long that i have a lot of stuff there, like unlike my blog title that just sits there i use this for a lot more things u know? 

i do think that.. i do kind of feel like i might be annoying sometimes tho when i talk about personal things, maybe. like i complain alot about alot of things and i feel it must be kind of whiny and i really dont want to get any and everyone else down when im being really negative a lot, and if i do then i feel bad, and like. saying this rn im like ohh kayyyyy so this is probably not good actually tbh uhhhh

umm so i have this thing that im trying to work on where i do shit or react to shit to do with myself that i would never expect or want my friends to be like, if that makes any sense? like im harsh on myself about things that i wouldnt be harsh to my friends about, or want my friends to be harsh to themselves about morelike, and i know its very not good but its.. hard. what id really really like is to get to a place where i can treat meself like i would a good friend and i mean, i have made so much progress over the years like y’all would hardly recognize me if u met me like in high school or something, i barely recognize myself from a few years ago.. used to be really really not good at all, so like i have improved at least but..

and i guess one of those things is being apologetic for sharing personal things, and i think that’s mainly because i really worry about upsetting ppl by saying something negative or too personal i guess? esp bc if im saying something to someone in real life i can like gauge their response and if they’re ok listening to me be upset about something but it’s harder to do that here. Although.. i still apologize if i share a lot irl and cant tell if the persons upset or not really reacting then im like oh no that was a lot and im sorry, i wanted to tell someone but i really hope i didnt upset u :(((( like that might not always be the case, but its where my head goes i guess..

 also i tend to ramble a Lot and ive never been good with keeping things short ( and this answer’s a fine example of that lmao) bc i have a hard time explaining things with few words bc i have so many thoughts and im not good at putting them out very well and being eloquent, motherfricking eloquency is what ive always wanted to be better at tbh, so like, thats something i am super self conscious about tbh, i have been for awhile, im just not very good at socializing and i worry about it like all the time so i think it probably comes from there.. like not being able to read ppl or express myself very well and not wanting to upset or bother anyone because of those things.. yeah thats probably accurate.

um, but yes back to ur question. i mean yeah? i.. think i know it’s ok to talk about personal things on my blog bc i really do use it for that alots, like i absolutely think everyone should be able to talk about their lives on their blogs like totally for sure! but um, it would seem i might still have some baggage about that kind of thing? 

sigh, my head’s a little bit of a fricked up place sometimes idk, i had a looong day today, i will just put this aside for now and try and give it some more proper thoughts later tho okee (and ur right tbh, i think it would probably be a good idea if i changed itttt, like esp with all of this ^^ that seems to have come up lol, even if im still feeling it a little its probably not good, buuut i just need to think of something which might take a while but yes ok,

anyways! blerghaaurhghs, but actually thank u for sending me this ask! im not so great at catching myself for doing this stuffs erghh and now that u put it into words it’s like oh, yeah that’s true. i should try and work on that tbh, esp if it’s so much it’s getting to other ppl and um, blegh yeah, m sorry this is a messy, and i do hope its not upsetting for u lovie, im sorry it’s been bothering u darling, but yes, seriously thank u for thinking of me, i love youuu v much alots <3

[stereokink]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!! Hope it's a good one :)

it’s actually been really, really great, which is a surprise because my birthdays are usually shit. thank you, beautiful!! i love you!!!

[pinnockled]

feministd1rection replied to your post: i got a promotion so i’m gonna buy som...

Congratumulations!!!!

thanks alecia! :)

[sleepymouses]

But I love her face and her passion and style and opinions and demeanor and life outlook and choice of movies she acts in and how she adores people, especially older women that she looks up to, and how she is always trying and learning and honest

i knoww, she's so wonderful oh y godd ahhhhh

[stereokink]

feministd1rection replied to your post “apparently my neutral face, my “i’m at work, therefore working and...”

My co-worker gets serious shit for this, customers always freak out on her being "rude" when really she just isn't an enthusiastic 24/7 smiler

saaaame. in the last two days, i've had two different customers call me rude, when i wasn't being rude, the store was busy and i was just trying to do my job quickly and well?

luckily my boss is really good about taking complaints with a grain of salt because he knows that most people who call and complain are just trying to get free food or were actually in the wrong and want to punish someone for their own mistakes. i had a guy call and complain about me recently when he was the one who was 100% in the wrong and i explained that to my boss and he understood completely.

but i'm worried because i'm really not being rude and i've already had someone call and complain about me. and even though i'm focused on delivering a quality product (and i do, my sandwiches are better than those of people who have been working there longer) if people keep saying i'm rude i could lose my job over that.

it's ridiculous that serving a good product with a neutral expression isn't valued over a shitty product served with a (fake) smile.

[sleepymouses]

Kristen Stewart

[sleepymouses]

Kristen Stewart