#ferocious flora

[leafydemise]

@simiansmoke​

He's still kicking dirt back at the plant because it's making him feel BETTER - and hey, plants liked dirt, right? It was a win-win. But maybe not since before he can get his last little stamp and scrape in, the ground erupts under him and before he can determine what it is, he's lifted up by chest and belly and hog tied in place again. Great.

Kicking at air and swatting ahead of him, he looked like he was having a hard time swimming (well- drowning) in the air and strained to look back over his shoulder to flash a fang at that twerp of a plant. "Uhhh - I'm still going with they definitely shouldn't!"

It's the thorns digging in that has him flexing harder than the day after a bean-bowl supreme when all that fiber made him pudgier than Bowser on Bowser's better days. Sucking in at least helps them not break the skin once his fur protection was penetrated. "MY place? You mean - ON THE GROUND?! Sure! I'd love to go!"

Parting his mouth to start gnawing on a vine, he gets a blast of purple dust in it instead and sputters, coughing and shaking his head furiously to try and clear any of the violet spores still hanging around him. When he hacked all the air out of him in defense of the plant poison, he just breathed in another wave when it failed to clear fast enough, and he chokes and paws the air blindly as if he were reaching for a familiar sink-side towel to roll his face around on.

At the end of the fit, his limbs go limp and his body's forced to relax in the thorny grip. "Ugghh-ooough..." A low groan escapes him, followed by a little, "Gross."

-------

Seeming plenty satisfied with her work, the plant unravels all its vines in a near-instant, letting the kong fall to the earth with a heavy thud. “I’d take this as a lesson if I were you, banana-brains.” The plant slinks down close to the ape’s snout, sneering with a malice so potent it could be bottled.

“You ain’t the king of shit. Don’t go messing with things bigger than yourself, buddy.” Vines return to the pot, as a few dust off the dirt kicked onto the terra cotta. It pouts, attempting to clean a scuff to no avail, before returning fully to its planter and protruding some roots through the drainage holes and making its way off to some unknown.

[leafydemise]

@simiansmoke​​

He's not sure if he's relieved that the plant let him loose, or annoyed by the plant's reason why. Maybe a little of both - but his temper was a bit stronger willed than his sense of safety. "I was just enjoying our conversation - about ME. How's that stupid?" Heaving a grumpy huff at the plant's rejection, DK would have padded away with a 'suit yourself' over his shoulder had the thing not went for the throat...metaphorically this time. "Hey! My 'stupid' might just be 'stupid' to you, but to someone with BETTER TASTE, it could be - 'a fucking delight'!"

Pausing as the petulant petunia questions his involvement in any sort of escapades that didn't involve scratching his ass at home, DK flashed a canine over at the toothy lips lining the pale bulb. "I'm a damn hero in this country! That's why they call it DONKEY KONG COUNTRY. Now who's the idiot?" Padding over to the pot, he lets his temper get the better of him and kicks it over. "SHUT UP. This is why plants shouldn't talk!" Turning himself somewhat as well, he gave a few petty kicks at the ground to send some dust at the mouthy thing like a cat might scratch around a litter box.

----------

Vines erupt from the earth and ensnare the ape, as the toppled plant ejects its pot and roots itself in the ground beneath it, practically swimming through the jungle floor to pop up face-to-face with the yet again captured kong. “Buddy, I say this is why plants should talk”

“Nobody else could keep meatheads like you humble. You could certainly use a lesson in learning your place.” Thorny vines grip too tight for any comfort, as the bulb rears back with an awful ‘HHHHUAAAAHHHHCKK’ noise, followed by a spitting of poisonous gas in the great kong’s face. “How do you like that, hmm? Not so fun, is it?” The bulb twists into an awful sneer. “And if that’s not enough, I have plenty of other ways to show you your place in the food chain.”

[leafydemise]

@simiansmoke​

"Yeah, right? That feeling when you eat the last bite and realize there's no more is the worst. Makes me wanna go kick someone's ass. Hey, I guess that explains it." They've come full circle. The revelation seems to have woken him up to the fact that there sure were a lot of vines looped around him. Was that how plants hugged? He wouldn't give a piranha plant a hug usually, but it's not like they were of the talking variety over the try to tear your face off the moment you got too close variety. When the bulb bumped noses with him, he figures the plant really was telling on itself as far as if it could see.

"Great hero, huh? You must mean DK. AKA, yours truly." So popular even the plants were coming out to see him; sounded about right. Twisting his wrists a little, he starts to slide one out from the vines and tug gently on a few areas of his bindings to loosen them some.

"But you might have heard wrong with the food. I'm a fighter, not a chef. They made it a national crime for me to enter a kitchen actually." After he'd nearly burned the island down of course. When the plant opened its maw, DK realized he probably was not in such a great position here. "Uh-wait! I just remembered where there was some food around here. Way less hairy, too!" One of his feet found a thorn's side and tapped it as if the plant would let him 'tap out'.

"Really, I might be meaty but you don't want this meat. If a giant eel threw me up, you know I'm not as appetizing as I look!"

-----

“Like I’d really eat you, dipshit.” The plant lets out a resigned groan as it unspools its vine, returning back to its own pot. “Far too stupid and hairy- do you realize that’s the longest it’s ever taken somebody to realize they’re about to be eaten?” She turns up her bulb, as if rejecting a bland meal. “You certainly have muscles in place of brains, banana boy.” It sticks its tongue out, wincing. “I bet I’d catch your stupid if I ate you. That, and an awful hairball.”

She tilts her bulb to the side, sneering. “Are you a beloved hero because you’re busy showboating and hiding in your pathetic little yurt? Is that the only reason you haven’t been killed yet? I bet that eel spat you up because it’d have gotten poisoned by your idiocy!” Producing a series of small roots from the underside of its pot, the plant turns to face away from the great ape.

[leafydemise]

“Pronouns?”

“Yeah, I’m pro nouns myself. They tend to be pretty tasty!”

[leafydemise]

@simiansmoke​

Always eager to display his muscles for an audience, DK hardly notices the plant start to loop around him. Though he’s not sure why he’s so dedicated to showing a plant anything when plants obviously had no visual capabilities.

“Yeah, because you can smell if someone’s scrawny or not.” He deadpans, but figures the tightening vines are helping the plant determine his size. Well…as long as they stayed above the belt, he was fine with it. “C'mon, you can’t expect me to believe you have eyes…even tiny little spider eyes. You wouldn’t have to try this hard to tell what you’re working with here otherwise.” Though to be fair, the plant with no eyes could probably see better than he could up close- damn his far-sightedness.

Wincing with one eye closed closest to the tongue boop, he returns it with a hot huff of air from his nostrils as if to send the plant a message. “There’s nobody stronger than me in the Jungle Kingdom. My one job is eating bananas and kicking ass, and I’m usually out of bananas!”

-----

“Out of bananas, hmm? What a shame...” One final tightening of her vines around the ape, and it snakes out further until its bulb is nose-to-nose with the kong. “See, I heard that a great hero lived in these parts, and I made my way out all the way just to meet this hero...” The bulb backs up a bit, grinning wide, as a tongue emerges and gives its teeth a cursory lick. “I haven’t eaten in ages! I’d hoped that they would have a snack for me...”

The bulb opens wide to reveal the full extent of the plant’s jagged teeth and barbed tongue, and an array of bead-like spots in the deepest recesses of the plant’s gaping maw. “I suppose, however, if you’re as meaty as you say, you’d make a fine substitute meal!”

[leafydemise]

There is a sign taped to the plant’s pot.

FREE ROASTS - WORDS OR FIRE

[leafydemise]

@ghostbustingreen​ time to die, Luigi

“WELL YA HAVEN’T BEEN WATERING SOME OF US ENOUGH! I’M ALL DRIED OUT AND I’M STARVIN’!”

Oh dear the Plant learned how to talk. Hopping up and down a few times on the shelf, they caused their pot to thump, before stopping and letting out a low growl. Firmly planting the ends of their leaves against the rim of their pot, they leaned forwards, nearly knocking over some of the other plants nearby. “I’M TIRED’A EATIN BUGS AN’ WORMS!” Dramatically flopping over onto the shelf, their draped a vine over the top of their head.

“I need that good stuff.... You gotta hook me up, Plumber boy..... I need that good red meat from the butchers...!”