you didn't hear it here but lila does this thing where she judges elena for something she's still mad at herself about because she can't stand the idea of elena being in any proximity to her own fate, but there's a tiny part of her that finds pleasure in bringing elena to what she sees as her inadequate level and yes, this can be seen in immacolata as well. i feel like the pleasure lila derives from elena being reduced to her neapolitan roots is the same pleasure elena derives from her marks of superiority in comparison to lila, significantly higher level of formal education most of all. of course, both of them are quick to view those arguments as weak and petty because they will always see the other friend as the brilliant one, sometimes with jealousy, but more often with fondness that exists both at the expense of their own credibility and as their one untarnished positive quality. being your friend is the sole good thing about me etc.