#feymina

[yujinfey]

hide the fear/seek the shadows

—MINA⋆ˊˎ

“thank you. i have a lot of practice.” she pauses briefly, smile turning into something a little more knowing. “you have a lot of anxiety for someone that acts so carefree,” she teases him lightly, then turns more serious, a more characteristic state for her. “that’s often true.” many carefree people truly aren’t at all; they compensate for something. underneath there is a great deal of grief, or fear. maybe in time, she’ll grow to understand yujin’s feelings as well.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ —

it's parties like these that truly utilize all of yujin's patience. it is the constant feeling of being watched, of his parents’ eyes on him and his every move, it is the way that they encourage others to put eyes on him too. these are the moments he truly feels like a puppet on strings, his mother's hands behind her back as he holds his posture straight, he smiles carefully-— tries to make the expression reach his eyes.

it does— but anyone who really knew yujin knew that it was empty.

amid yujin being constantly pulled away to be introduced to someone, to greet someone he's met before, to have those who know of the business slyly pat him on the back like they both know of a grand secret, he finds solace in mina. returning to her side throughout the night, he finally finds a moment to breathe.

his smile must be too tight, when she asks him to come with her. he doesn't even protest, and hopes quietly that they'll be able to go outside, get some fresh air. he’s getting to the point where his lungs feel too tight, keeps clenching his fists way too much.

he takes as deep of a breath he can manage of the evening air, looking to mina as she takes his arm and letting his eyes fall shut. they had done this so often, and yujin doesn't know how to finds the words to thank her for it.

at first, he had been so adamant that she not take any of his emotions away— it made him feel worse to even consider that she might feel just a slight amount of what he's feeling in the process, couldn't bare to let her feel, to let her see. as time progressed, as more helpless hours slipped through their fingers as they entertained people at the party and tried to find small moment of reprieve together, yujin had allowed it.

he still thinks, wonders, if it's something he shouldn't allow, but the small moment where she takes it all away, it makes him settle and sink. his posture immediately crumples into something less structured, and he holds onto her for a moment longer until he lets go, leaving her with a gentle squeeze.

when he offers her a smile, it’s genuine. the night seems a lot more peaceful and quiet when he looks out onto it, crossing to lean his arms against the balcony railing.

“i know that you do. shows in the magic that you have, when you do things like that. it's brilliant. almost feels like.. warmth under the sun, when you sit out after being cold for a little while. warms you from within, i want to just—,” he sighs, closes his eyes again.

“just sit in the warmth and relax,” he finishes, gives himself a moment and opens his eyes. there's half a laugh falling past his lips at her comment.

“i honestly see it as a feat that it doesn't come across at all. my parents are upset with me enough for— how i am with these events, my magic. not being ready enough, even though i do everything they ask me,”

a chuckle, then, low and breathless. “you want to bet how long we’ll be out here before they call me back inside?” he asks, and turns, then, to lean back against the balcony and look at her.

“thank you, mina. you know i don't really know how to thank you when you do that for me,” yujin murmurs, and he's thankful that out here, he can speak softly. it doesn't seem to disturb the night as badly.

shrugging his shoulders, he offers her a grin, upturning the corner of his mouth. he had to take out quite a few of his piercings for this, tattoos covered, no makeup— he feels like an echo of himself that had long lost the origin.

“i could try to steal a bottle of champagne for us again. get drunk and hope the adults don't find us, a silly game of hide and seek,” he’s still smiling, his eyes having a bit of their glitter back, having been away from the party even for just a little while.

“would you want to? maybe we've entertained them all for long enough,” he offers, though his hands are really just itching to loosen his tie, take off his suit jacket, ruffle up his hair.

he could pretend, but he always had this fear, deep inside, that one day he would pretend for so long he’d be unable to get himself back to what he knows, to the small piece of himself that still feels like yujin.

it's precious enough, he wants to hold it tightly with both hands, carry it close to his chest for safe keeping.

@feymina

[yujinfey]

“Please do not drop things into my cauldron.”

SENTENCE STARTER MEME — ACCEPTING !!

*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ —

yujin carefully retracts a hand and has a moment of looking a bit rueful, carefully placing the small bundle of prepared ingredients back on the worn, wooden table. he ruffles the hair at the nape of his neck and takes a moment to lean back, watching as mina works. he wasn’t really going to drop them in, but he liked to make a bit of a joke out of it, if he could.

“well— you were going to put that in later, right? so i was just.. being helpful,” he murmurs, a bit of a gleam in his eyes as he looks anywhere else, at the other things inhabiting the room, the ingredients lined on the shelves on the walls, the worn covers of books scattered about.

being this close to magic has his fingertips feeling like they are on fire, anything he touches, he worries it will go up in flame— and so he stays away from the paper, from anything that would possibly get him into trouble if he happened to spark something off. he’s more relaxed since he isn’t the one doing it, though he probably would have rushed through most of these things, not even aware of all of the steps that mina goes through as he watches her.

usually he memorizes it enough to get the spell done and tries to complete it just as quickly, anything to be perfect and efficient to get the job done— before his anxiety sets in, before he starts to feel it creeping up the back of his neck, goosebumps rising on his arms. sparks in his hands, a cool chill over his body. a convergence of feelings that yujin doesn’t really know what to do with, so he goes through it as quickly as possible, probably skipping over the parts he should be paying attention to in order to get it done.

what all does it matter to his parents, in the end, as long as things are completed? nothing concerning yujin, and so he works that way, too, when it comes to spells. his own cauldron is probably gathering dust back in the designated room he has for his magic back at home, waiting until another request from his parents comes in for him to get it out.

he regards this one, the flames licking the outer edges, feels the heat like he does in his hands. brings them together and plays with his fingers to occupy his mind, pulling at the strings in his jeans when he loses interest in that.

knee bouncing, hair already back in his eyes as he leans against the table and tries to occupy his mind, too.

“are you almost finished? maybe we could go walk around while we wait for it to be done? i kinda want some coffee,”

[feyxsiwoo]

“Is this a cure, or a poison?”

if there was one thing about siwoo that those closest to him knew, it was that he enjoyed experimenting with potions. whether they turned out great or ended with some sort of explosion of sorts, it was fun for him either way. there had been a few times in which he had gotten himself injured a bit but it had never been anything too serious.

most of the time when he was experimenting with different ingredients, he would find little 'test subjects' to try them out and see what the ending results were, some would be perfectly fine afterwards while others....well not so much. this time he had come up with something a little different and even though the coloring of the new potion he made wasn't the most appetizing to look at ( and even smelled horrible ) he was confident that it wouldn't harm someone...at least not majorly anyway.

he gives a small shrug to the question being asked, giving that small charming grin he usually does when he's a little too confident in himself. "don't worry, even if it is poisonous, i have something that can help cure you....hopefully." he says this as he holds the small bottle up in front of him, dangling it between his fingers as he eyes the contents of his own little experiment. "if something does happen to you, then you can just come back and haunt me for the rest of my life, make my life a living hell if you want." he raises a brow as he says this, his gaze averting from the small vile to mina.

if his mother knew of him using other living beings as his test subjects for these little concoctions she would definitely teach him a lesson and would probably beat him senseless, though what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. as long as she didn't find out, and he managed to keep them alive, then all was good.

"to answer your question though, it should be a cure...should be at least. you're the first to try it out so i guess we'll see what happens once you've consumed it." he finally holds the vile out towards her, motioning for her to take it from him.

most of the things he did, siwoo never really intentionally harmed someone despite having a few thoughts about certain people here and there. he may be cold and uncaring towards most, however, he would never intentionally put someone in harms way no matter how much he despised them. he wasn't a murderer after all, just someone who enjoyed making his own potions when he was bored and needed something to keep him busy, especially using such things as an excuse when he would receive a call or text from his father or his 'play toy' inviting siwoo over for dinner.

"how about this, you drink half and i'll drink the other half. this way, even if it turns out to be poisonous, we'll both suffer. deal?" he says this, internally hoping that the other potion that he's made up will actually help cure them if this one ends up nearly killing the both of them.