ʜᴏᴀʀᴅᴇʀ
✭ pairing(s): estinien varlineau x gn reader
★inspo: something my friend said that STUCK stuck so HARD
✩ in which: dragons tend to hoard the things most precious to them.
✧ a/n: need to get this out of my system okay. i need to. i promise you there's a luocha fic and like more fics up i PINKY PROMMY. i wanna write so bad but ffxiv also has me by the neck
🗒 cw: gn reader, he's just jelly (but not like yandere... he's silly), ENDWALKER SPOILERS, short n sweet, not proofread
✎ wc: 1.6k
Estinien is a jealous man. It is not something you can genuinely tell, seeing as he plays it off. But inside, he’s pouting and crossing his arms, sometimes even imagining him whisking you off. He is the most calm and collected man you know, blunt in almost all aspects. Unafraid to speak the truth, except when it comes to you.
He himself has noticed the changes with his behavior, as small as they may be, ever since he had ‘absorbed’ Niddhogg. When he fell for you, he had felt so oddly attracted to you, a constant pull that lured him in closer, and closer. One that he did his best to ignore, but clearly couldn’t, given the current day, and that shiny ring on your finger.
Regardless of your known status, Estinien cannot help but be jealous. The gods themselves could dote on you and he would still pout like a little kid. He would give them the dirtiest of looks, but turn his head away and act painfully unaware of what he was doing if you looked his way. But over the better part of a year, you’ve learned to read his tells. His voice deepens ever so slightly, his eyebrows furrow, and he’ll adamantly deny the fact that he was jealous. Which, obviously, does nothing to hide his lie. A man of his standing? The Azure Dragoon? Jealous? No, no. He isn’t, he could never be jealous.
And yet, here he is, doing his best not to show any outward signs of jealousy. While you were seated with your friends at the Last Stand, with Estinien brooding nearby. He wasn’t stalking you, in fact, you had enthusiastically invited him. But he chose to stay away, grumbling about protection or something of the sort. Which would seem right of him, given that he had just returned from saving the world. But you knew full well that that wasn’t the case. You were meeting up with friends, to enjoy a comforting meal after believing you were to witness the end of the life you’ve known.
You can almost hear his grumbling and ranting in his head, as you chat and laugh with your friends. It felt lighter, something that had been devoid in the days that had been past. You had been worried sick about Estinien and the Scions, traveling to the edges of the universe was something that felt unfathomable. And to know that Estinien was willingly going on such a venture, it was horrifying. So, when he came back alive and well, you were more than relieved. And it was clear he had worried about you, too. Though he would never tell the scions that, he wouldn’t even admit that he was worried sick about you. Not only is he a jealous bastard, but a stubborn one, too.
However, that does not mean he didn’t show you how much he missed you. The night he returned, all he did was hold you, head buried in the crook of your neck. Barely any words were shared, and any time you shifted underneath him, to simply reach for a blanket or stretch your legs out, he pulled you impossibly closer with a soft huff. To see him being all moody in the corner of your eye while you catch up with friends after the night before… you couldn’t help but chuckle a little.
You can practically read his inner thoughts. ‘Why do they get so close?’, ‘Why do they get to take up their time?’, and you know you’ll remedy his jealousy so easily in a couple more hours. It’s not like he couldn’t sit down with you, but he wasn’t much for PDA either. So watching (and pouting) from a distance was all he chose to do. And you respected it, no matter how silly you thought it to be.
“I missed you,” Estinien grumbles as his hand finds yours, quick to pull you away and towards the Baldesion Annex, fidgeting with your fingers as he does so. His tone is almost mournful, but you know he’s being dramatic. Only with you. “Let’s take a break. I want time with you, and you alone.”
He speaks as if he was really engaging with you and your friends. You can’t help but smile at his clinginess, something that was, again, only shown towards you. Yet he had grown out of his shell over the past couple of years as well, you knew that. Especially when he joined the Scions on their little… adventure. You had never seen him so energetic, normally he was just dark and moody. But he started to smile more, even try and joke, and it was comforting to see. You had found friends with the scions as well, Y’shtola mainly since she had the most sensible tastes out of everyone. The girl-talk with her was amazing, and you had learned things you never even thought of before. Simply the talk of reflections and calamities was enough to make your head spin. But it did boost your ego to know that you had made sense of certain things without being directly in the fight, while your fiancé could barely make heads or tails of it.
You lose yourself in your thoughts, mind bringing back more and more memories, delightful as they were. Before he had left, he had proposed, something you had never thought he would’ve done in a million years. But his proposal was sappy, sentimental, and you swore you caught tears in his eyes. Thinking back on it, it felt almost outlandish. The former Azure Dragoon, knelt before you, rambling on about how much you’ve changed him, his outlook on life, and all he would do for you (which was nothing short of everything).
Before you can dig too deep into your memories or perhaps even shed a tear, Estinien’s pulled you back so easily, pulling your hand up to his face and placing a kiss to your palm. How quick he was to take up a room, yet so calm, he was practically desperate for more attention. Your attention. And he plans on savoring every second he has with you.
It only strikes you as he leads you to the bed. He’s hoarding you. Every bit of jealousy and possessiveness is a part of the shadow of Niddhogg, or whatever is left of it. Estinien he may be, but there were still remnants of a great wyrm in his body, one that tends to keep the most precious things close. You can’t help but be stunned by this revelation, while you could understand different timelines, for years you had wondered just why he could be so possessive with you. Like a dragon from a children’s tale, and it’s pile of gold, you are his charge. Or more simply put: you are the apple of his eye.
He holds you so very close, as he did the night before, lips ghosting against your neck. His breathing is even, deep and measured, his hands settled on your waist. If you were to ask him if he enjoyed spending his time like this, he'd adamantly deny it, saying he prefers training over… cuddling. Such a childish thing, he would say, wave it off, and shake his head. But, of course, actions speak louder than words. He loves you, after all he had been through and seen, he just had the sudden urge to be by you, to feel your skin against his, feel your hands in his hair (which is his favorite feeling, to be cared for, the tender touch of a lover. But he would never admit that), and whisper sweet nothings to you.
Emboldened by his trust in his comrades, Estinien had faced the end of the world head on. And yet, beforehand, there was an uncommon fear, one he could not shake. Farbeit for him to be afraid. But when faced with the Ragnarok, there was a voice in his head screaming at him to turn back. You were in his every thought as he pushed on, worried that your look of concern would be the last thing he ever saw on his face. He had never been scared of death, far from it. That was how life went, if he were to die in his service, to Ishgard, to the Scions, anywhere, then he had no complaints. But suddenly, he couldn’t stand the thought of dying. And every step he took when they ended up in Ultima Thule was a defiant one. He had promised you that he would come back to see the life you two could build with each other, and he was not one to break promises.
Every act he had done since he returned was part of that promise, his jealous brooding included. There was more to living than just living, and that reason was you. He reminded himself of that, and in turn, tightened his arms around you with a soft huff. You could poke fun at him and his jealousy, that you have him wrapped around your finger, scold him for his spending habits, and he’d still want nothing more than to curl up in your arms at the end of the day.
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