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Vagineer: Evitcepsrep ym morf siht ees ot tsael ta syug uoy dluoc?! (Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?!)
Ass Pancakes: [Crouches down]
CBS: [Kneels down]
Painis Cupcake: [Sits on the floor]
Vagineer:
Vagineer: Uoy fo lla etah i (I hate all of you)
what are the freaks' hobbies when they're not... killing ppl lmfao
Remember that not all the Freaks in this blog kill people.
HMM can we see each freak merc's parents? Like who is CBS parents and clever Heavy's etc. I understand if you can not anwser ^w^
But ofc!
I’m actually happy to get some asks of this silly AU of mine. Even if it’s just one, I’d love to talk about it. It might help me to develop it! So, thanks for the ask! Cuz this is something I wanted to talk about my AU since I created it lol
So let’s start with the biggest to the smaller:
CBS “Parents”
Oh, well, mostly like the ones in charge of him (In my AU) are CPS and Gentlespy.
These two right here^^^
Why? Because the friendship that CBS actually has with them in the canon (if I can call it like that???). So I thought these two would be perfect for taking care of him. CPS is the responsible one and GS is the one that gives the kid ALL what he wants. And this makes CPS mad, but GS doesn’t seem to care at all lol
Vagineer “Parents”
Since the Vagineer race is mostly a dangerous, aggressive (and probably a loner) race, the little Vagineer (In this case I decided to be The Bugler) is mostly alone all the time. His only company was Snyphurr, but the biggest creature cannot take care of him, just make him company by little times, and maybe playing a little. So he tried to learn to defend himself at really short age. Until Polite Spy found him and tried to take care of him. He give him food, water, clean clothes… And tried to introduce the little freak to his new… Uhh… Sibling?? (You’ll have guess who is he lol)
Intelligent Heavy “Parents”
Well, this one’s easy. The one in charge of him is his friend of life, Spyper.
These two are very united. Spyper likes to play with IH when he has time, and he prepares all his sandwiches. I also was thinking into make Sny one in charge of IH too, so Spyper doesn’t have to take care of the kid all alone.
And well, here’s the last one
Painis “Parents”
As how we all know, RbbrFrt is his “biological father” (Although Painis calls him by “Mama” or “Mom” akdnkslamd) , but this crazy freak doesn’t take care of his little monster all alone, he has the help of Polite Spy
who is actually the one who’s in charge almost all the time of the baby, and now also of the small Vagineer. Yes, you guessed right. These two are siblings in this AU, but not biologically, of course.
And you also may ask “Why Polite Spy?”, Cause Polite Spy practically befriended Painis first in the ‘canon’ video where he meets CBS, Vagineer and IH. And he’s a “perfect father model”… Or at least for a freak ofc(???
And… I think that’s all. And well, you don’t have to see none of these “”“pairings”“” as a “"romantic couple”“, but mostly as a "help me I cannot take care of this all alone” partnership… But, y'know? Idc how you’ll see it, so I’ll just leave it to your imagination xD
And also, here’s an extra: Polite Spy is the main babysitter of all the little Freaks. But sometimes when his help is required somewhere else, and no one of the “”“parents”“” can take care of the kids, all the adults has to get someone else to take care of them (How it happened with Ass Pancakes in one little comic I made days ago lol). So, you might see another Freak taking care of the small ones in the future lol
A question for the Vagineer (or any Vagineer). Is it possible to learn Vaginese?
How do you think Painis knows what he’s saying???
Vagineer: Gnieb ym hcni yreve htiw uoy etah I! (I hate you with every inch of my being!)
Painis Cupcake: That's not a lot of inches, then.
Painis Cupcake: If you disrespect me again I’ll eat your shower curtains!
Vagineer [The Bugler]: Srood ssalg... Evah I? (I have... glass doors?)
Painis Cupcake: Well crunchity munchity then, you think that will stop me?!
[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]
Gentlespy: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Polite Spy: ...I did. I broke it.
Gentlespy: No. No you didn't. Painis?
Painis: Don't look at me. Look at Pancakes.
Ass Pancakes: What?! I didn't break it!
Painis: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Ass Pancakes: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
Painis: Suspicious.
Ass Pancakes: No it's not!
CBS: If it matters, probably not, but Pure was the last one to use it.
CPS: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
CBS: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
CPS: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Christian!
Polite Spy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Gentle.
Gentlespy: No! Who broke it?!
Ass Pancakes: Gentle... Vagineer's been awfully quiet.
Vagineer: YLLAER?! (REALLY?!)
–––
Gentlespy: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Gentlespy: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
The Freaks looking at this pic:
"School Supplies": Gentlespy, Doppelganger, Handsome Rogue, Christian Pure Spy, Soldine, Nightmare Medic, Demo Samedi, Karma Soldier, Piss Cakehole, Polite Spy, Vagineer (Bugler)
"Schosple Colupis": Stu Pidface, RbbrFrt, Painis Cupcake, Christian Brutal Sniper, Spyper, Infierno, Lord DeGroot, Dic Soupcan, Cakehole Piss, Ass Pancakes, Magic Mann, Sewer Medic
