#ffh:tta

[ffhseries]

Tossing out old notebooks and I found the very first written notes for FFH2 that I'd apparently forgotten about. This would have been a "barebones plot" notebook with hints to add and all that before I got into the actual writing process. Don't know how I forgot about it, not that it matters now all is said and done.

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Epilogue

dA link

Epilogue: Life Goes On

“So when do ye think we should ‘nounce our engagement?” “The more you keep asking, the further back I set the date.” “Oh, Annie! Yer just set on bein’ mean now.” “It can wait until I’m properly moved in, at least.” “…Speakin’ a’ which, arne there certain…things ye wanna maybe…keep safe?” “The Fun Box?” “The Fun Box.” “Trust me, all that stuff is safe. And coming with me. Just in case.” “Good tuh know.” “…Jesus Christ, that was too much information and you barely implied anything.” “Oh come on, Runt. It isne all that bad! Most of it is just…pictures.” “Tastefully taken.” “Very well made.” “Perfectly modeled as well.” “Oh aye, they certainly were.” “If you two are going to be like this all the time now, I definitely will move out.” “…What?” “Um, no, I don’t mean leave the house…castle. I just mean like…you know what? Forget I said anything.” “No, it’s okay. Say what you need to, Bridget.” “I wasn’t sure if…or when…I should ask this but…how uh, how out there would it be if um…if I did want to move out? Like…have my own room?” “…Huh.” “I’m not asking for, like, my own damn master bedroom or anything! I’d be cool with a refurbished broom closet! Hell, just…I don’t know, making a soundproof room in that cabinet underneath the window seat would be good too!” “Why soundproof?” “Um…well…if you guys are going to be living together…in the same room…” “Right.” “You know.” “Know what?” “You don’t need someone…you know.” “I don’t get it.” “Hearing things.” “What things?” “…You know what things.” “Private conversations?” “Jokes?” “Tuh-do lists?” “Memories?” “How our days went?” “Grocery lists?” “Gossip?” “Casserole recipes?” “SEX SEX YOU GUYS HAVING SEX GODDAMNIT!” “Ha! I win.” “This time. I’ll get ye next.” “…I changed my mind, I’m moving out completely.” “Heh. It’s alright. It’s a good idea fer a good reason. But I doona think ye’ll do with a broom closet. What if we wanna come in fer a visit? It’d be squished with more’an one Tergaian-sized person there.” “Hmm. I suppose I can get a folding chair in there for you. Maybe.” “Oh, all that an’ more. Yer prob’ly gonna need ‘nuff room fer the proper office furniture.” “Office…what?” “Office furniture. Desk, chairs, pencil holders. Maybe one of those clanking ball things.” “And a plant! Every office needs a plant. It’ll help bring the room together.” “W-why…why would I-?” “Well, besides a proper bedroom, I’m sure the King’s Royal Advisor on Human Affairs needs a proper office tuh.” “The…the Royal…what…?” “I wanted tuh tell ye sooner but after the coronation an’ the massive press storm well…it kinda got ‘way from me.” “Bridget? Are you alright?” “I…I can’t…I don’t…” “Doona what?” “I DON’T KNOW POLITICS! Let alone this place’s politics!” “All the better! Ye woona be tainted by ‘pinions ‘sides yer own.” “I have exactly dick experience in public affairs.” “So did I, once.” “Or in running an office.” “Nor I, once.” “What if I fuck up royally?” “Heh. I’ve that fear now tuh, ye know.” “Oh goddamn the pun. What makes you think I want to do this?” “‘Cuz I like tuh think I know ye well ‘nuff by now.” “What makes you think I CAN do this?” “‘Cuz there’s no one I trust more tuh give me the truth ‘bout the Human condition or what needs tuh be done. Yer…yer experiencin’ alla it first-hand. I doubt anyone else would give it tuh me straight when I needed it.” “…” “…” “Sigh. I have to warn you, my résumé is pretty anemic and you probably won’t be able to contact any of my references.” “Good thing ye made a great first impression on this interview then.” “Right. Okay. So…um…when do I start?” “Unofficially, ye already have as far as I’m concerned. Officially, though? Not any time soon, I’m ‘fraid.” “Why the Hells not?” “‘There’s still a lot I need tuh set up an’ get under way, Annie. Infrastructure, economy, integratin’ currency, Hells just getting’ basic rights ‘proved…there’s no viable way tuh put Bridget on payroll without it bein’ seen as some sorta vanity stunt or ‘tempt at embezzlin’.” “…I’d get paid?” “Aye, a’ course! Job’s a job, right?” “Well, it sounds a step up from Court Jester at least.”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 21

dA link

Chapter 21: The First King

The morning was a rush. I’d barely gotten out of the shower when I was ambushed by a pair of tailors and a hairdresser. Last minute fittings were needed, mostly at Cassidy’s behest. A new kilt and sporra were provided. The new jacket needed a few alterations though. I stood in front of their mirrors while the tailors measured and sewed. The hairdresser attempted to fix the mess that was my hair. He tried to slick back my bangs, but I wasn’t having it. The braid and new hair ribbon would be fine enough for me. The only relief was knowing I wasn’t alone. “Good morn-OH!” Annie began, trying to sneak in. Another team rushed her into the room and got to work. “I didn’t think I’d need all the fuss, Colm.” “Nor I, Annie. It’s good tuh see ye.” I replied with a quick kiss. I tried to ignore the photographer pacing the room. “How was last night?” “Let’s just say the potion and tea helped. A lot. Ended up barely sleeping thanks to Audrey.” “E’erythin’ alright? What happened?” “I…think it’s best we talk about it later. In private. I’m alright otherwise, really, it just gave me a lot to think about.” “Oh aye, ‘cuz that doesne make it sound worse’an-!” “Good mor-HOLY CRAP!” I turned towards Bridget, who’d just stepped out of her bathroom. As did everyone else. “Uh, sorry, just…didn’t expect a full room.” she stated, heading for the window seat to wait. With so many people around, it didn’t surprise me if she didn’t want to be underfoot. Literally and figuratively. She’d barely reached the stairs before someone approached her. “Miss Bridget?” the woman asked on bended knee. Annie and I exchanged glances and waited to see what would happen. I think we both were expecting the worst. “Uh…yes?” Bridget asked, glancing my way as well. Without a doubt she was on edge. “I’ve your outfit here, Miss.” “Um, I already have-!” “Miss Gabon insisted. Her exact words were: ‘there’s no way anyone is wearing anything off the rack for a coronation’.” “Oh. Huh…um, well, can’t disappoint Cassidy I suppose. Thanks.” “You’re welcome, Miss. I’ll be right back to do your hair as well.” “My what?” “Erm, I don’t suppose anyone knows where I can find a ‘Kirby Dawes’ or ‘Furgus’?” the woman asked once she got up. “Take a left out me door, ye’ll find Kirby at the end a’ the hall with me sister Molly. Take a right an’ ye’ll find Furgus with me brother Liam.” I informed her. “Unless Furgus is runnin’ ‘round like he usually is!” As if on cue, the door nudged itself open. Furgus had grown quickly in just a few months. As expected from a Fathish Wolfhound. Thankfully, his temperament stayed the same. He slowly paced the room and sniffed people before sitting down in the sunlight. Furgus had gotten into the habit of greeting as many people as he could as a morning routine. Usually ending with Bridget…right outside her bathroom. “I hope no one’s ‘lergic.” I said. “We can kick’im out if ye are.” When no one spoke up and kept working, the woman pat the happy pup. She changed his collar and added a special cloak to his back. The Arcadi coat of arms was embroidered on both sides. “Heh. Guess e’eryone has tuh look their best tuhday, huh?” “Of course they do!” Cassidy added as she entered the room. Her own dress was simple, but colorful. It suited her better than she probably knew. “It’s a big day for everyone, big or small!” “Were these last minute ideas or…?” “Let’s just say some people weren’t taken into consideration in the original plans.” “Speak a’ the Dæmon!” I said once I noticed Bridget push past her curtains. The new dress was an exquisite shade of gold. “Lookin’ good there, Runt!” “Feeling good, Scruffy! This dress is lighter than it looks. It even does the Swoosh!” “The ‘Swoosh’?” Bridget twirled in place, making sure the skirt flittered just right in the sunlight. A few gasps could be heard when she was done. “The Swoosh”. Bridget said simply. “A good Swoosh is hard to come by. You did a great job Cassidy!” Annie said before she did her own swirl. Gasps all around once more. “I take that back. An amazing job.” “…I’m half tempted tuh see if me kilt does the Swoosh now tuh.” Cassidy giggled nervously as the compliments piled on from all around. She almost dropped her clipboard trying to hide behind it. “I-if everyone is ready, we can start heading out.” she said once she got her composure again. It couldn’t have been better timed. As soon as we stepped out of my room, so did my family. Molly, Hogan, and Kirby from one end, Liam, Glori, and the kids from the other. Furgus plodded over to Elias, Elma, and Ellie once he squeezed past us. “It isne tuh late. ‘King Liam’ or ‘Queen Molly’ have nice rings tuh’em, ye know.” I quipped when we were all close enough. We all laughed, but I swore I could see it in their eyes: they still had faith in me. It felt foolish. The foyer should have been nearly empty. Instead, it was almost full to bursting with the house staff and their families. There were cheers as we made our way down. I could have sworn there were tears in Tim and Mr. Livingston’s eyes when they greeted us at the bottom. “Ye ready fer tuhday, Tim?” I asked, shaking his hand. “Wouldn’t be a good Court Magician if I wasn’t.” he replied with a smile. “I wanna thank each an’ e’ery one a’ ye.” I said to the waiting staff. “I ‘preciate yer hard work an’ long service more’an I can e’er say. E’en more so fer those who have tuh work tuhnight. Gods Love, there arne ‘nuff words.” “Save’em fer the crowd, M’lord!” someone shouted. It got a laugh from everyone. We all needed it, I think. Some more than others. We were split up by carriage. Molly, Hogan, and Kirby would be the first ones out. Liam and his family would be next. Annie, Bridget, and I would bring up the rear. The carriages were open so the crowds could see us, and we the crowds. The Arcadian Guard would be escorting us on horseback and on foot. I watched as Dorian mounted his saddled lion to lead the procession. All the horses and lions were dressed up for the day as well. Vaughan and Angus were no different. The decorative harnesses and plumes suited their golden manes. The pair huffed and puffed theirs purrs as I gave them loving pats. Angus was excited to be part of something so grand, while Vaughan managed to keep his usual composure. I took the time to feel the scars on Vaughan’s face. Healed over and safe to touch, they were still noticeable even months later. Cassidy almost replaced the old lion because of them. But I’d insisted he stay. Vaughan helped save Bridget’s life that night. And mine. He took on a Greater Wyvern without hesitation. He earned this spot. The ride through the city was an experience I’d never forget. There were dissenters to be seen and heard, without a doubt, but they were eclipsed by cheers and well wishes. Whether those were genuine or not, I couldn’t tell. For all I knew, they were just being swept up in the excitement. It took everything I had not to cry in joy anyway. We arrived at the temple steps before I knew it. The Arcadian Temple wasn’t the first choice to hold the ceremony. Dún Meath had been heavily suggested at first. More space, far more grand in comparison. Again, I’d insisted. The Arcadian Temple was the first building Maureen herself decreed be built. It inspired her to build a city, a nation, in its spot. Magistrates from all over Fathach lined the stairs. Hand in hand with Annie, Bridget on her shoulder, we ascended the steps. Liam and Molly were waiting at the top. I turned, bowing and waving to all who stood below. They returned the gesture before following us inside. Seats and benches now filled the temple space. Family, foreign dignitaries, and the like filled the building. There would be hours of small talk and polite discussions to be had with them. Annie and I parted ways just before we reached the altar. She was seated with my family, just a few meters away. It felt like I was waiting to perform on stage for the largest audience ever. I tried to keep my stage fright at bay. Caledonia was dressed in her robes of ceremony, including the ostentatious hat. She stood at attention in front of the statue of Caduceus. His carven smile looked as enigmatic as ever. Was He smiling in approval? Or was He waiting to strike me down? I stood in reverence hoping for the best. The crowded hall settled down at the crack of Caledonia’s bata siúil. “Attend me, you, in this hallowed hall!” she began, her voice strong and booming. “Attend and bear witness! This day, an oath is taken! This day, a promise is made! This day, a leader is appointed! Step forward, they who would accept this honor!” I forced myself to move. The enormity of it all was beginning to overwhelm me. Having so many eyes watching my steps wasn’t making it any easier. “Who stands before us today?” Caledonia asked once we made eye contact. “Lord Colm Matthew Alexander Brian Arcadi, yer grace.” I answered loudly and steadily. If I’d squeaked, I would never have lived it down. “Are you willing to take the oath, M’lord?” No. I thought. “I am, yer grace.” I couldn’t afford the hesitation. Fathach couldn’t afford it. “Do you swear to be faithful to all of Fathach, as all of Fathach shall be unto you?” “I will, yer grace.” “Let this ring be worn as proof of your faithfulness and love.” Caledonia stated as a pillow was brought forth. The ring was set with precious gems and crafted into the Arcadi coat of arms: the Claddaugh. Hands offered in friendship, a heart full of love, and a crown of loyalty. These were the principles that helped establish Fathach. “Do you swear to fight for all of Fathach, to bring justice swift and true, as all of Fathach would fight for you?” “I will, yer grace.” “Let this sword be worn as proof you are ready to defend and fight at all costs.” The belt was leather, its hilt and sheath bejeweled. The sword itself made of the strongest steel and finest gold. “Do you swear to guide Fathach, in all its glory and strife, as Fathach would guide you?” “I will, yer grace.” “Let this scepter be your proof. Proof of authority, and aid to guide those who would follow.” The golden staff was about a head shorter than me. It was biting cold at first but warmed the longer I held it. An intricate Claddaugh at the top made me wonder if it would work as a weapon as well. “Do you swear to follow the word of the Gods, to show compassion and wisdom, as They expect of all Their followers?” “I will, yer grace.” “Let this mantle be worn as proof. May the Gods’ compassion and wisdom cover you and shelter you at all times.” I knelt as the blood red cloak was draped upon my back. The clasp was gold and the trim white fur. It was soft and warm, and thicker than expected. I stayed kneeling as the big moment came. “Do you swear with faith and love, with justice, with guidance, with compassion and wisdom, with all these and more, to rule with clear mind and heart, for the rest of your days?” There was time enough for one last deep breath. There’s still time enough to say no. “I will, yer grace.” Coward. “Let this crown be worn as proof. Proof of your status, proof of your authority, and most of all, as proof of the responsibility you hold most dear.” I closed my eyes as it was set upon my head. There had been a fear it would be too small. Or too big. Or lightning would strike when it touched my brow. There was a relief to feel that weight. “Rise now, Lord Colm Matthew Alexander Brian Arcadi. First of his name, first of his title, King of all Fathach!” The applause was instantaneous. The cheers deafening. “ALL HAIL KING COLM! LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE KING!" I made my bows. To my family, to the magistrates, to the diplomats. And, surprisingly, to the few monarchs that attended. King Gerwulf and his family were present. Beside them sat the Empress Sameeksha, Samrãjñi of Visdia, and her husband. It was an esteemed honor to have them there: she was expecting her third child any day now. The true surprise was seeing Queen Letitia. The Queen of Boudan came after all. Along with her husband and their only child, Princess Marjorie. There was a moment, the longest moment, where we locked eyes. Both afraid to move. No, not afraid. Too proud. Fathach and Boudan had a long, uneasy history. Fathach was born from a need to escape Boudish rule. We fought, we warred, and Fathach won its independence, its right to stand as a nation. Boudan had been nothing if not bitter ever since. But that pride needed to be set aside. For Fathach. Always for Fathach. I bowed. And hid my grin when the trio bowed in return. Last but not least, Caledonia received her bow. The cheers and confetti, the firecrackers and flowers, were almost too much to bear during the return procession. Our carriage led the way this time. Annie, Bridget, and I were waiting as everyone arrived. The press took their pictures and made their reports as the rest of the guests arrived. I caught sight of a familiar black braid and purple vest among their numbers. The house staff were lined up and waiting alongside the mansion. When everyone was finally gathered, I raised my hand. The Master Magicians and Architects made themselves ready. With a drop of my hand, the world changed. The entirety of the Arcadi Mansion transformed as we watched. The piles of supplies changed before our eyes. Stone replaced wood. Windows stretched or shrank or disappeared altogether. A balcony emerged above the new front doors. The structure grew taller and wider before the end. The effect couldn’t have lasted longer than a minute but the result drew thunderous applause. I turned to the crowd once the excitement died down. “I welcome ye, one an’ all, tuh Castle Arcadi!” I stated, loud and booming. Applause once again. “I’d be honored if ye’d please join me in Crown Hall.” Annie and I led the way. The staff and their families were quick to find their way in, sliding off to the side and back to their duties. The foyer was larger but somehow still felt the same. The staircases had moved, each on the side of grand doors waiting for us. I waved off the guards who attempted to open them for me. There was a certain exhilaration just touching the ornate handles. Even more so when I pushed the doors open. Crown Hall was more than I’d expected. Larger, brighter, and more…well, more everything compared to its sister in Castle Scáth. With the amount of space it took up, it would host not only Grievance Day, but any party or social function we’d have in the future. The sight of it all took my breath away. “Holy Shit!” Bridget said as we walked in. “Coodne’ve said it better meself.” I chuckled. I chose to welcome everyone as they passed, offering nods and handshakes before they took their seats. The ushers did their best to discourage this, leading people away when they could. Especially when a line started forming just to shake my hand. “You needn’t be here, M’lord.” Mr. Livingston whispered as he sidled up beside us. He was right, of course. It wasn’t necessary. In truth, I wasn’t ready to take my seat. I wasn’t ready to becomfortable sitting on a grand throne, overlooking the hall as everyone had their attention on me. Least of all, I wasn’t ready to make my first speech as King. I think Mr. Livingston knew it too. “Maybe not but it only seems proper, Mr. Livingston.” I replied. “An’ what did I tell ye ‘bout the ‘M’lord’ a decade ‘go?” “With all due respect, you’re a king now.” “An’ with all due respect, I’m still Colm, arne I?” “…” “…” “…As you wish, sir.” “Thank ye, James.” Cassidy was speaking with the technicians when I looked up. They had finished setting up the podium and equipment. The testing was finished. With their approval met, it was time. I was ready to run. Until I felt her hand slip into mine. “You’re going to be great.” Annie whispered as we made our way to the -Gods help me- throne. Once there, she gave my hand another squeeze and my cheek a quick kiss. “Good luck, Colm.” “You got this, dude!” Bridget said, before both headed towards the front row. Bridget, Kirby, and the Arcadian Human Guard had a special table reserved for them, with seats their own size. She gave an enthusiastic thumbs up before turning to the others around her. Annie stayed close to the table after setting her down. Liam, Molly, and their families sat on either side. Dorian stood with his wife Lorelei, and their children. Caledonia was making chit chat with the monarchs beside her. I was surrounded. The hall was filled, quiet and waiting with bated breath once I reached the podium. I checked for the nearest exits. Everyone took their seat when I gave a nod. The sound of hundreds of chairs nearly broke my nerves. I’d given speeches over the wireless before, been on countless interviews. It took time and practice to get accustomed to the pressure. This shouldn’t have been any different. But it was. Today was life-changing. Historical. The start and end of an era. “Befer I begin, I’d like tuh thank e’eryone here. I ‘preciate an’ am grateful fer yer presence. The reception will begin properly after me speech. I also wanna thank e’eryone in advance fer yer patience an’ consideration as I speak.” I began, carefully extracting my speech from my jacket. The notes were handwritten and barely legible. I refused to let anyone read them over. If I didn’t say what I needed to in my way, I was sure I’d regret it in the end. “An’ if need be, any a’ the numerous ushers can help ye tuh the nearest lil’ king’s room.” The slight rise in polite laughter was the best I could have hoped for. Cassidy, catching my eye, tapped her wrist. When I nodded, she gave a thumb’s up and a smile. She stood beside the broadcaster and kept an eye on the equipment. My speech was going to be simultaneously recorded as it was being broadcasted. For posterity’s sake, naturally. The light on the podium began to glow. Three red flashes before it held steady. I was live on the air. Gods give me strength. “Hullo an’ good afternoon, me distinguished guests. Yer royal majesties, members a’ the High Council, foreign an’ domestic dignitaries, ladies an’ gentlemen a’ the press, an’ most importantly, tuh alla Fathach herself: I bid ye welcome.” I began, keeping my eyes on the words before me. If I actually looked out into the crowd, I’d freeze up. I knew I would. Pressing on was all I had. “I’d like tuh begin by reiteratin’ a few truths I have always held dear. Truths I have held dear befer an’ durin’ me time as yer High Lord, an’ will continue tuh hold dear as yer King.” It wouldn’t be a lie. Though I’m sure it would be thrown into question anyway. “I have ne’er seen meself as better’an anyone else. Nor have I seen meself as below anyone. I have always considered meself as yer equal.” Not entirely a lie. There were plenty of people I saw as better than me. Saw myself as scum at times. But they didn’t need to know that. “Whate’er power, privilege, or influence I had, I use in the pursuit a’ Fathach’s best interests. All of Fathach has held me accountable fer the last 10 years. I am accountable tuh alla Fathach. It is yer right an’ me responsibility tuh do so. Should ye e’er believe I am unfit fer this office, I will step down an’ another shall take me place. I only ask that ye have faith in what I say, fer I have the utmost faith in alla Fathach an’er peoples.” It was a lot to expect of them. I knew that. I wasn’t even sure I’d be alive by day’s end. “Secondly, I’d like tuh clear up some confusion. Fathach has ‘dopted a monarchy. This is true. The rules a’ succession, howe’er, remain as they have always been. A rulin’ Arcadi may choose their successor from within their immediate family or ‘mong their extended blood relations. No one family line may rule fer longer’an 5 consecutive generations. Titles have changed ‘round, but the policies remain fairly unchanged. High Lord or King, High Lady or Queen, doesne rule from on high. The High Council is still tuh be consulted on certain matters. The King or Queen holds authority, has a status. They doona an’ canna hold absolute power. They are not ‘lone in rulin’.” Gods help me if I ever had to do this alone. “Lastly, I’d like tuh answer a question that has been asked a’ me the last few months. Sev’ral times a’ day, in some cases. ‘How would High Lady Maureen Arcadi react tuh a Fathish monarchy?’ The truth is…the truth is I dunno how she’d feel. We can ne’er truly know. The best we can do is take an educated guess. There would surely be a storm a’ swears an’ insults if she were given the news. Not one fer subtlety, that Maureen.” A few chuckles from the crowd, but nothing more. I half-expected some kind of angry noise from Queen Letitia. “Howe’er, I believe she’d ‘prove. Begrudgin’ly, a’ course. Fathach has come farther’an she prob’ly coulda imagined. She faked her death, destroyed’er beloved ship, all fer the sake uv’er crew. They were guaranteed safety here while a nation was built. They fought tuh protect it. They fought tuh preserve it. An’ their descendants fought for its independence. Fathach has been a recognized, independent nation fer o’er a hundred years now. Fathach is safe. Fathach is whole. Maureen would be proud uv’our progress.” Deep breath, Colm. You’re almost done. “Maureen knew the importance a’ teamwork, a’ sacrifice. The Golden Horizon was burned an’ sunk tuh give’er crew a chance. Fathach ‘dopted a monarchy tuh prove itself tuh the Alliance a’ Nations. Fer the good uv’er crew, fer the good a’ the nation, we made difficult decisions. This, Maureen would empathize with, at the very least.” Time for the big finish. “If there is anythin’ I believe Maureen would dis’prove a’, without hesitation, is how we treat each other. Fathach was founded tuh give the Golden Horizon crew a new life. A second chance. A second chance fer e’eryone. From allwalks a’ life.” Keep going. “Maureen’s crew came from all o’er. From Boudan, Birrimania, Visdia, Jötursk, and Reusia. There were Master Magicians ‘longside Gan-Bhrí. Vigiliants, monotheists, and atheists. Clerics an’ thieves. Sailors turned pirate fer profit. Farmers turned sailor fer adventure. Run’ways an’ merchants. Fathach is diverse tuhday thanks tuh this crew. We do’em a disservice by alienatin’ their descendants or those who…who ‘rive unexpectedly, or those who ‘rive with a purpose. Fathach has been on its own fer tuh long. We need tuh open our minds, an’ our hearts, tuh those we see as different from us. I was recently reminded uv’a passage from the Vigilant Tome: ‘if we canna help the least uv’us, we doona deserve the best the Heavens have tuh offer’. It’s as true now as it’s e’er been.” This was it. You’re nearly there. “E’eryone in Fathach has a right tuh live their lives tuh the fullest. Tuh the best a’ their ‘bility. Tuh feel like a part a’ the community, a part a’ the nation. Whether they are a born citizen, or naturalized, or on their way tuh becomin’ one. They should have the same opportunities tuh succeed…no matter their race. No matter their creed. No matter their magical skill. No matter their station. No matter their religion.” Gods help you, say it. “An’…no matter their size.” The gasps rose in an instant. Like I suspected they would. A small pebble could cause big waves, after all. And after a boulder like that, what else would I have expected? My heart pounded as the crowd grew louder. My stomach twisted in knots. I needed to press on. Above the murmurs and whispers. “May the Gods bless an’ keep us all.” The light died. I was off the air. But I wasn’t out of the spotlight. I tried to focus on breathing, to ignore the sounds around me. Then it happened, from the corner of my eye. A small movement of gold from somewhere nearby. I turned, expecting a ribbon or balloon or some random object. Instead, there she was. Bridget. She was the first to stand, the first to clap. Kirby followed close behind. As did the Human Guards. And Annie. Caledonia. My family, friends, and eventually the rest of the crowded hall. It was mostly polite applause. I knew it. I bowed anyway. And calmly walked out the nearest door. Only to sprint towards the closest toilet. I’d barely made it in time. My stomach was completely empty soon enough. Reflex made me keep trying anyway. I was sweating and tired before the end. I almost didn’t hear the knock on the door. “I…I’m…” I tried to shout, only to start dry heaving again. The door opened and shut quickly behind me. I nearly jumped when a hand started rubbing my back. “Who-?!” “Just me.” Annie said soothingly. “Feeling better?” “How’d ye…?” “Because you did the same thing after your inaugural speech. And your first Yggsmas Day speech. And…and aftertheir eulogies…” I nodded. I knew who “they” were. Mum and Dad. They’d all been stressful events. At some point, I’d gotten used to them. But sometimes…sometimes I had to lose it. “Aye. Ne’er could…could handle the big stuff at times…” I eventually said. A seat on the floor was good enough for me. Annie joined me after carefully shifting her skirts. “…I just put a target on me back, dinna I?” Annie didn’t say anything. She simply leaned in closer, her head on my shoulder. I held her hand as I returned the nuzzle. “I just wanna try an’ do the right thing. Make up fer me mistakes. Maybe I’ll be lucky an’ they’ll just vote me outta office…throne…whiche’er. I honestly woodne mind if that was the case. Pretty sure I can find a job somewhere. Heh. Doona s’pose the Inn is hirin’, is it?” I was hoping for a chuckle. From either of us. My timing was more terrible than I thought. “But ‘nuff ‘bout me. Dinna ye have somethin’ ye wanted tuh talk ‘bout?” “Not sure if this is the right time, Colm…” Annie said, snuggling tighter. “It’s private. It’s later. An’ I’m pretty sure we woona be disturbed just yet.” I reassured her. “But we can just sit here if’n ye want.” It really was oddly comforting. The solitude of the bathroom was heavenly compared to the hustle and bustle the day already provided. And was sure to provide afterwards. I could have sat there for hours with Annie. Or at least until one of us needed the toilet again. Or Cassidy came looking for me. Or an assassin looking for an easy-!” “…Audrey wants to take over the Inn.” “What? Why?” “Because she thinks my heart’s not in it anymore.” “I doona…ye’ve been wantin’ tuh run the Inn fer as long as I’ve known ye. Ye were so damn happy the day yer parents signed e’erythin’ o’er. Why does she think ye’d give it up?” One look spoke a thousand words. “…Oh.” “When…when you announced the monarchy shift, and after your coma…I started wondering about…about so manystupid things. Would we see even less of each other? How long between date nights? Weeks? Months? Would I get even more hate mail from jealous strangers? Would I have time to sneak out to a bloody castle? Was there going to be less business now or more? Would this…was this…was this worth it anymore?” “Annie, that isne stupid tuh think ‘bout an’ ye know it.” “Still feels like it. And…and I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. Not until…the explosion. The roof. On the Inn’sroof. I just…I need a break. To get away.” So many thoughts. So many things I wanted to tell her. To plead with her. To argue. To…to… “I…I only e’er wanna see ye happy, Annie.” I said slowly. It broke my heart to say it. But this wasn’t about me. This was for her. “If anyone deserves it, ye do.” “Oh Colm…I am happy. I love working. I love the Inn. Hells, there’s time now to get back to my photography. Maybe.” There was a quiet moment as Annie squeezed me tighter. I did the same. It might be the last time. I wanted to savor it. “Colm, I’ve a favor to ask.” she whispered. “Hmm?” Annie reached up and held my face. Her hands were soft and warm. Gentle. I leaned into them. I’d steal the sun for her if she asked. “Will you marry me?” “…what?” “I still love my job, Colm. Always will. But I love you too.” Annie explained. “And I’m tired of being apart. Tired more of being the third or fourth in line to know when something’s happened to you. Good or bad.” “Er, well, that’s kinda me fault at times…” “Yes. Yes it is. But maybe a wife will make you think twice about that.” Something warm was welling up within me. I wanted to scream my answer, to run through the halls shouting the good news. I was ready to answer. Being with Annie would make me the happiest I’d ever been. Until it hit me all at once. You don’t deserve to be happy. Said it yourself. This isn’t real. It can’t be. Not if she knows the truth. “W-wait. Annie there’s…there’s somethin’ ‘bout me I need tuh tell ye…” There was a part of me that wanted her to run. To leave and never come back so I’d never have to explain. Not to her, not to anyone. Not to me. I didn’t want the problem made real, made permanent by saying it aloud. But Annie deserved to know what she was getting in to. “I doona…I havne…I havne been…been right. In me…in me head. Me heart. I dunno how tuh…tuh ‘splain it properly.” I said, shaking and stuttering all the while. “Some…some days, I’ll be…fine. E’en happy. It’ll feel like…like I’m swimmin’ in clear water. But then…somethin’’ll happen an’…an’…an’ suddenly I’m treadin’ water or swimmin’ through sand…all these terrible thoughts come in. They…they remind me I’m not…not…that I’m a monster. That I doona…that…an’ some days it’s like I’m barely keepin’ me head ‘bove the water. Like I’m fightin’ ‘gainst mud…I doona wanna leave the house. Or me room. Or e’en me own bed. An’ those times…those are the times when I dunno if it’s worth tryin’ tuh keep meself from drownin’…if lettin’ meself sink woodne be better…” Deep breaths were needed to stop dry heaving again. To stop the tears from coming. To keep going. “It hasne been tuh bad the last few months, but e’ery time I say that…it…it has a way a’ just…just…I love ye Annie, I do. I truly, truly do. But…but I doona want ye tuh be stuck with…with whate’er this is goin’ on inside a’ me. Ye…ye doona need that burden…” No one would have blamed Annie for leaving. Not after all that. Gods Above, why did I tell her? She didn’t need to know how broken I was. “You don’t deserve that burden either.” Annie said quietly. It was enough to make me cry. “I want to be there, Colm Arcadi. For your good days and your bad days. You’d be there for me. You have been there. Let me be there for you.” “This isne yer mess tuh fix…doona think ye have tuh.” “I love you, Colm. I want to help any way I can.” “I love ye tuh, Annie.” I leaned in for a kiss. She pulled away. “Oh, Colm, no. Not with sick on your breath.” We both laughed. We needed it. It felt great. Refreshing. I felt light as a feather as the doubts receded. If only for the moment. knock knock knock “Colm, you alright?” Cassidy asked from the other side of the door. “Everyone’s, er, waiting.” “…Are you alright?” Annie asked as we fixed our clothes. “Aye, believe so.” I replied after an intense gargle. “Canna get any worse than admittin’ alla that.” “You ready to greet your loyal subjects, My King?” I looked into her eyes. Her beautiful, hopeful, confident eyes. And saw myself reflected in them. Maybe that would be enough. Enough strength to face the future. Enough to be by her side. “As ready as I’ll e’er be, Me Queen.”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 20

dA link

Chapter 20: New Offers, Old Pains

The day before the coronation would be a long and exhausting one. I’d barely gotten my first cup of coffee and things were already piling up. “First things first, the revised final plans for the mansion.” Cassidy said as she laid the blueprints on my desk. They were hard to read at first. It took a moment to realize how everything would be moved around again. It was Cassidy’s idea to rework the plans: she feared what Lydia might have said or would say about the inner workings of the new castle. “They’ll need your final thoughts and approval. Erm, again.” It had been the High Council’s idea. New place to go with the new names. At first, they merely suggested a Glamour. A superficial covering to match the superficial changes. I’d been all for it until Bridget spoke up. “Why not make it the real deal?” she’d asked innocently enough. “Heh. Can ye imagine the time needed tuh construct a new castle after demolishin’ a historical landmark like the mansion?” I’d asked in return. The deadline seemed so far ahead while we were at Auntie Mel’s house. Truthfully, I hadn’t been as scared of it while I was there. Maybe because I was trying so hard to ignore it. Maybe because of all the people to talk it over with, Bridget didn’t seem as…savvy about the implications. “I don’t mean demolish, I mean…look, I’m still trying to wrap my head around how Magic works here so correct me if I’m wrong about this, okay?” “I’ll do me best.” “What I mean is, why not, uh, transplant Castle Scáth to where the mansion is, and vice versa? Then the mansion can be like the family summer home or something.” “I dunno…” “Oh! No, wait, even better! Why not just Transfigure or transmute the mansion? Swap out the wood and siding for stone and masonry and all that crap?” “That’s not entirely impossible.” Auntie Mel cut in before I could. It was a genuine surprise to see her poolside. Even more so at the thought of Imelda agreeing to the idea. “Might have to move a few rooms around, maybe even add some. The interior wouldn’t have to be changed as much as the outside. Stone walls to protect a modern interior. Hmmm…there’s something poetic about that.” “Aye, but do ye think it’s necessary? I doubt the rest a’ the Council would-!” “I’ll bring it up next we meet. We could even start looking for the needed Master Magicians and architects before then!” And with that, it was out of my hands. I’d tried to grumble about the cost, but the Council found the funds and the team. It was decided for me. Again. “Least it’ll still be called Castle Arcadi…” I mumbled as I looked everything over. “Er, I doona s’pose there are…ah…any secret rooms in’ere?” “There are 3 different safe rooms, marked by the stars. Each one will require a password to enter and seal.” “Alright that should be good ‘nuff. Fer now. If we needed tuh change anythin’ later…?” “The Master Constructers are under contract for a minimum of 10 years. They’ll be on call if need be.” “Good tuh know. Sigh. Is there any way we can stop callin’ it the throne room?” “But…that’s where the throne will be. It’s where Grievance Day will be held from now on. It makes sense.” “Aye, but so would callin’ it ‘Crown Hall’ since that’s where the crown’ll be!” “HA! Good one!” Cassidy giggled. It took her a moment to compose herself. She explained once she saw my confusion. “Sorry, that was just a good pun.” “What pu-OH GODS DAMNIT. Crown Hall, Town Hall, I get it.” It took only one quick glance at each other. “Crown Hall it is.” we confirmed in unison. “Alright, I think I’m ready to start.” I said as the blueprints were rolled up and sealed away. I kept my list of appointments on hand to check off names. And prepare myself for the worst. The first hour was spent accepting resignations. Most were resigning in protest to the changes. Trying to tell me they didn’t believe I was doing the right thing. Like I hadn’t already had relations coming out of the woodwork to say the same thing. Like I didn’t already have those same doubts hounding my thoughts for years. Some, however, were resigning for the usual reasons. They’d found another job, changing careers, or going back to school. “We’ve actually decided to move out of the city and into the country, M’lord.” Kateri, a financial clerk, explained as she handed over her letter. “My wife and I think a little peace and quiet will do the baby some good.” “Oh? Congratulations! I dinna know ye an’ Monique were expectin’!” I said, offering a smile. It was good news to hear. Her blush made it worth it. “We only got the news a few days ago. I’m ah…a little surprised you remember her, M’lord…” “A’ course, she’s a baker, right? Made those, ah, lil’ fudge swirly things fer Cassidy’s birthday. I swear she could start a business on those ‘lone!” “That’s the rest of the plan, actually. Monique’s going to take over her uncle’s bakery in West Clearton, outside of Felbarrow. Thank you for understanding, M’lord.” “It’ll be hard tuh see ye go, but if it makes ye happy so be it. I wish ye the best a’ luck. Ye have a place here if ye e’er need it. I’ll be sure tuh visit someday, promise. Those swirly things were bloody fantastic!” I made sure to mark her name with a star as I checked it off my list. It would be my personal way of knowing who was leaving in good standing and who wasn’t. The way a person left a job was more telling than their work record could ever be. The bits of levity and genuine sincerity helped get through the rest of the resignations. I’d barely the energy or resolve when the interviews started. Dorian arrived on time, of course, with Kenzie on his shoulder. I’d made sure there was a chair and end table waiting at his size. As usual, I had to tell Dorian to sit once he got closer. I loved the man like a brother, but the Gods forbid he should take the initiative to be comfortable. Kenzie had to be asked the same. The facial scars weren’t the only thing they had in common. “Is this something I should be worried about, M’lord?” Dorian asked right out of the gate. “Maybe, maybe not. But either way, ye can drop the ‘M’lord’s’.” I said with a huff. “An’ that includes ye tuh, Private.” “Yes’sir.” they both said at once. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes or grumbling. It was probably the best I was going to get from them. “First an’ fermost, I wanna congratulate ye both on jobs well done. Fer the other night, an’ ‘cordin’ tuh these reports, the last few months. It’s clear yer Human Integration Initiative has worked wonders. Ye an’ yer teams will be gettin’ commendations.” “Thank you, M’…sir.” Kenzie said. Dorian nodded his gratitude instead. I could see the beginnings of a grin he was desperately trying to hide. “An’ promotions tuh go ‘round as well, Cap’n McKenzie. The rest a’ yer team will be promoted tuh Lieutenant an’ Second Lieutenant at yer discretion.” “Ye…yes…yes’sir. Thank you, sir.” “I ‘sume that woona be a problem, General Stryfe?” “I don’t see why…excuse me?” Dorian began. It was a guilty pleasure to catch him off guard that easily. The look on his face was priceless. “Did you just…?” “If ye’ll ‘cept it, a’ course. General Hannigan has been ready tuh retire an’ after the ‘nouncement he thinks the time is right fer some ‘new blood’. I’ve been lookin’ fer replacements e’er since.” I informed them, pulling out a file. “He gave his own recommendations an’ they come highly decorated. Hells, Dorothy is up there tuh. But yer me first choice, Dorian.” “Why…why me?” he asked after a moment. “Isn’t it showing a bit of favoritism promoting a friend?” “Aye, no doubt ‘bout that. An’ it is one a’ me reasons. Yer one a’ me best friends an’ yer more’an qualified fer the job. Ye woona e’en have tuh give up bein’ a City Guard if ye wanna stay. Knowin’ ye, ye will.” “And the other reasons?” “‘Cuz…I doona have this all planned out mind ye, but I wanna expand the Human Integration Initiative. Get more squads in other cities, even some in our standing army. If all goes well, maybe intuh the Navy an’ Dragon Riders if need be. Given time, a’ course. I know yer squad hasne had an easy time uv’it an’ it’s only been a few months. But I have faith in it, an’ I have faith in ye. The both uv’ye.” There was a quiet moment as both contemplated the idea. Ideas, really. I’d honestly expected an answer right away. This seemed like something the both of them would have jumped on. “I…I think this is something we need to discuss further…” Dorian finally said. Kenzie nodded in agreement. “A’ course. If’n ye can get back tuh me by tuhnight, I’d ‘preciate it. Fer now, I give ye permission tuh recruit more fer the Human squad. Squads, if need be.” Dorian and Kenzie left before I could offer them a drink or a chat. I couldn’t blame them, really. I put more on their plates than they were expecting. “Alright Cass, ye can send the next one in.” I said over the intercom. I took a moment to stretch while I could. It really was going to be a long day. I took my seat again when the door opened. Instead of my next appointment, in walked Cassidy with a basket. “Cass, what-?” “You’ve been in here all morning and you need a break.” Cassidy explained once she set the hamper down on my desk. “Not too long, mind. You do still have a line out there.” “Okay, but what’s with the basket?” “Annie sent it over. Apparently she thought you wouldn’t give yourself a break without some intervention. She wasn’t wrong.” “Heh. No, no she wasne.” I said, taking the note off the lid. Seeing her neat but quickly written handwriting was comforting. Less so when the note explained she’d be too busy that night entertaining the honored guests in the hotel. “Think we can send somethin’ o’er since it seems like we woona be meetin’ tuhnight?” “Anything in particular?” Cassidy asked, notepad quickly in hand. “Wine? Flowers?” I took a moment to think it over. Taking that night and the next day into consideration, I jotted down a note for Annie. “Flowers, aye. Red or pink camellias, forsythia, and…if coral roses arne in season, red roses will do. Small bouquet, doesne need tuh be a room-fillin’ affair. I think she’ll ‘preciate the Pep-Up potion, Riisserland chocolates, an’ chamomile tea blend more. If’n ye doona mind, Cass.” “Consider it done.” Cass said, taking the note as well. “Now relax. I’ll warn you when your break’s over.” The smells from the basket were enticing enough. According to her note, my Crosby room password would open it. "Didn’t want to take any chances" she’d written. I was grateful for the caution. More so for the food. As I unpacked everything, I found the real reason for the security. “Miss Malone, how scandalous indeed!” I chuckled as I took in the picture. Annie could be covered head to toe and I’d still blush. Gods, how I loved her smile. tap tap tap “GAH!” I yelped. Instinct made me reach for a weapon. “Bloody hell!” the voice yelled when I turned to face the noise. “‘Melia?!” I asked, once I recognized the figure sitting outside the window. It was the only person it could be, of course. What other Human could have trained a Wyvern to land outside a Tergaian office window? I opened it for her and Biscuit after I set my “weapon” down. “Er, sorry ‘bout the, ah, lamp…” “Yes, well, if I was blown out my window by my personal assistant, I’d be a little paranoid too.” Amelia said as Biscuit hopped onto my desk. I made sure to share the sandwich and pack the rest away before he chose any more for himself. “Oh, ye know ‘bout alla that?” “I find a paper whenever I can. Helps to be up to date.” she explained after dismounting. Biscuit was happily chomping away. “So, ah…how are you holding up?” “We’ve had better days. Bridget’s at home, still restin’. I have a full day ‘head a’ me though. How ‘bout ye? Dinna think ye’d be showin’ up after…well…” “Neither did I, but I figured after what happened it wouldn’t hurt to check in. Everyone else is doing fine. Bill was thinking we’d have to move after that ruckus. Thought they’d kick us out or try to round us up. Not that we canmove yet, but still.” “I’m so sorry. If I hadne…ye woodne be…!” “We’re not. Your girlfriend? The redhead who runs the hotel?” “Annie, aye, that’s her.” “Well, she was so grateful we helped that she’s offered us permanent residency. On the roof or inside. And even gave us an old wireless for the hell of it. Bill still hasn’t made up his mind about it. I think he’s waiting until-!” “‘Til Rosalind has’er baby?” You could hear a pin drop in the sudden silence. “H-how…how do you…?” Amelia asked, wide-eyed and confused. “Er, Private…well, Captain McKenzie’s report was thorough. I looked it o’er so I had some idea how tuh thank ye an’ yer group.” I half-expected Amelia to fly away into the city when I had my back turned. I’d spooked her more than I intended. It was a shock and a relief to see her still standing there. “These are fer alla ye…if ye can carry’em all, that is.” I explained once I opened the box in front of her. Amelia wasn’t scared to take a closer look. “I mean, ye can make ‘nother trip or tuh if need be.” “I’m pretty sure Biscuit can handle all these backpacks and…extra rucksack?” Amelia said as she inspected one by opening it up. She laughed as she saw the contents. “Jesus Christ, what’s in here?” “I coodne decide what was best so…e’erythin’ I could thinka.” “…What?” “Let’s see, there’s winter gear, sleepin’ bags, individual tents that can snap tuhgether, though I guess ye woona need’em if ye take Annie’s offer. There’s a set a’ standard inoculations fer each a’ ye, some basic campin’ an’ survival supplies…oh! An’ the rucksack is fer the baby, supplies an’ clothes tuh, an’ I put extra shots in there in case she’s expectin’ more’an one kid.” I informed her, trying to remember everything I’d put into each bag. “There’s more but I canna recall e’erythin’. Oh, an’ if anythin’ should happen, ‘specially tuh the baby, there’s an emergency Jumper stone. The instructions are in there. Ye can get tuh a doctor or me, anytime, day or night.” Amelia was speechless. “Oh, an’ the bags are enchanted with Spacious. Ye shoodne have tuh worry ‘bout how much ye put in there.” I was starting to get nervous. Amelia continued to stare at the bags, not saying anything. Even Biscuit had stopped eating. “If it’s not ‘nuff, I can-!” I began carefully, only to be cut off by her laugh. “Not enough? You…you think…” Amelia finally said. She wiped something away from her eye. “This is…this…Jesus Christ, this is too generous. I don’t…don’t know if we can…” “The ‘lotta ye helped save me life.” “All we did was-!” “Help me e’en when it put yer safety at risk. An’ inna way, ye helped Bridget tuh. Ye deserve more’an I can e’er give fer that ‘lone. Truly. Please…I insist.” Amelia nodded, and got to work attaching the bags onto Biscuit’s harness. It was a hodge-podge of cloth and leather pieces, but it was deftly crafted despite it all. The rucksack got a special place behind her saddle. “There’s, er, one last thing befer ye go…” I said, stopping her before she could fly out. “I knew there was a catch.” Amelia grumbled. She started trying to detach the bags before I interrupted her. “No, no catch. Just…an offer. How’d ye like a job as a Wyvern trainer?” Speechless, yet again. “I, erm, think you can find a falconer quite easily…” she eventually answered. “Not with the skills ye have or fer the purpose I have in mind. Yer a great trainer an’ it shows. Did ye used tuh do this befer?” “…Horses. I used to train horses. Never flown before in my life. Not until I found Biscuit’s egg.” “Really? I saw a Human horse the other day! It was ‘mazin’!” “What breed was it?” “It…had spots. I dinna think tuh ask.” I chuckled. “But I think the Human Guards woodne be ‘gainst havin’ Wyvern mounts, least uv’all learnin’ tuh fly from one a’ their own.” I’d overwhelmed her again. Damn it. “It’s a big decision, I realize that. Ye doona have tuh answer right ‘way. Hells, I still need tuh work out all the details. Ye can take yer time thinkin’ it o’er. Just…promise me ye’ll think it o’er. That’s all I ask.” “I…will. Think it over, I mean.” Amelia clarified quickly. “I do have one last question for you.” “Aye?” “You’re going to be a king now, right?” “Come ‘bout noon tuhmorrow, aye.” “And you’ll still be working at City Hall?” “No, unfortunately. I’ll be doin’ most a’ me ‘kingly duties’ at the man…castle now.” “Does that mean I still have to worry about being shot out of the sky over a bagel?” The question hurt. And maybe it was for the best that it did make me uncomfortable. I’d need that pain. To remind myself. No complacency this time. “It’s me greatest hope that ye’ll ne’er have tuh worry ‘bout that ‘gain.” “Good!” “Oh?” “Stealing a king’s meal makes for a better challenge anyway!” Amelia exclaimed just before she urged Biscuit to fly. I was still laughing hard, long after Amelia had gone. The tears were a relief really. It was nice to cry from joy after so many days of stress and doubt. Cassidy had been right. The lunch break was a good idea after all. Cassidy had taken to her promotion reluctantly. Didn’t feel she had enough experience to deserve it. Thankfully it didn’t stop her from doing her best. She was a better fit than she realized. It was something we both needed to know. And others still needed to find out. “Colm, I’m sorry. I just…I can’t accept.” Tim had gotten off on the wrong foot that afternoon. He learned the hard way that my office was newly sealed from most Teleportation spells. Even his. He almost broke his glasses walking into the door. Not that he wouldn’t have been able to fix them, but the insult still stood. I needed to do some damage control. “Tim, yer the most qualified person I know. Why in all the Hells would I choose anyone else?” I explained as best I could. “There is literally no one else I’d wanna be the official Court Magician.” It was true. Tim was a friend, practically a brother. He was one of the most talented, powerful, and selfless people I knew. Whoever existed. I was equal parts jealous and in awe of Tim. He deserved a higher status, at the very least, for all the hard work he’d done. There was no one else I would consider to stand by my side. “I’m sure that’s not true in the least. There are plenty more qualified than me. With better reputations. With…with…” Tim tried to counter, but trailed off. He took a moment to steady himself. “I just…I can’t…I can’t face…” “Tim, ye doona have tuh face anythin’ ye doona wanna…I promise. Ye woodne e’en have tuh give up university work or personal projects. Hells, ye woodne have tuh move if’n ye-!” “Why do you think I moved in the first place?!” Tim exclaimed in an instant. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard Tim yell. “Tuh…be closer tuh Cork University…?” I asked once the shock died down. “To get far away from Arcadia! To get…to get farther away from…from you…” “From…me?” I shouldn’t have been surprised. I’d hurt others I’d considered a friend. Intentionally and accidentally. It still stung, nonetheless. “I’m sorry, Tim. Truly.” I choked out. “I dinna realize…if I knew I was bein’ so awful tuh ye…” The chuckle threw me off at first. I figured Tim didn’t believe my apology. I wouldn’t have blamed him. He continued laughing until he sobbed. I braced myself for whatever came next. “Gods, it’d make this so much easier if you were, wouldn’t it?” Tim eventually said. “Hells, that’d just make this whole thing worse…” “What ‘thing’?” “I had…I had to leave because…it was easier working near Molly. At least it would be only one reminder of what I couldn’t have instead of two…” I’m embarrassed to say the light took longer to click than it should have. “…Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. What to think. It seemed Tim felt the same way in that moment. Several minutes passed before I could say anything. “Fer…fer how long?” I asked cautiously. He didn’t owe me an answer. I didn’t think I was really expecting one. “Secondary school. Maybe there around. It’s…a long time, that’s for sure.” he replied. “A long time fer me tuh be so blind.” “Not really your fault. Even my father doesn’t know. I kept it hidden. Had to. Wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was true or just…I don’t know. When I realized how I really felt, well, you and Annie were getting serious.” “I wish ye’d’ve told me sooner, Tim.” “Would it have changed anything?” Tim scoffed. “Aye. Ye woodne’ve felt like this fer so long.” I said, coming around to Tim. I offered a hand, which Tim rose to accept. I pulled him into a hug instead. “I love ye, Tim. I’m sorry I canna love ye the way ye want me tuh.” Tim stayed for a long-delayed talk and much needed crying session. For both of us. Everything fell into place the longer Tim talked. Why he was always willing to lend a hand when asked. Why he was so eager to drop everything for us. For me. I cursed myself for being so thick-headed. “So are ye…seein’ anyone?” I asked, perhaps not as delicately as intended. “No. Not…really…” Tim replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean, there’s this guy in my department but…I can’t tell if he’s flirting or just oblivious.” “Canna be any worse’an me!” I chuckled. I was glad to hear Tim laugh too. “Listen, I was serious befer. There’s no one I’d rather have as Court Magician. Are ye willin’ tuh think it o’er at least?” Tim was quiet for a moment. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “Do I have a deadline?” he asked. “Anytime befer noon tuhmorrow would suffice.” “You’ll have my answer before then. I promise.” I didn’t want to finish the day after all of that. A part of me wanted to spend time with Tim. He deserved more of my attention after that revelation. Anything to make up for all the neglect. For being so…inconsiderate. For being such an awful friend. Duty called, however. My grin widened to the point of hurting as I read the next name on my list. There was a need to put on the “Kiss Me I’m Fathish” cap I’d worn all week. It took all I had to resist laughing aloud as they entered the room. “Well, well, well! Mr. Jackson Arcadi! What a surprise!” Even after the interviews and appointments petered off, there was work to do. There was so much that still needed to be taken care of. I’d put off a lot of it hoping I’d never really have to face it. Which, admittedly, wasn’t helped by being blown out of my office and running across the country for a week. We’d gotten most of it done before Cassidy kicked me out of my own office. “You’re making history tomorrow. You need a good night’s rest!” she stated as she packed up my briefcase. She practically put me in my coat as well. “Captain Stryfe volunteered to escort you home.” “Cass, there’s still-!” I tried to counter, only to have my case shoved into my hands. “With all due respect, there’s not much left to do. I’ll take care of it.” “…Cass, ye already have the job, ye doona need tuh o’er do it.” “Ditto.” “Alright, alright. But doona ye stay tuh long either. Ye’ve gotta big day tuhmorrow tuh.” “Hahaha yeah, just…coordinating a coronation at the last minute and showing the world what I can do. What’s to be worried about?” The look on Cassidy’s face was frozen in a smile, but her eyes said it all. Mainly because they had glazed over, like her mind was a kilometer away. Or worse, she was deep inside her own doubts and insecurities. “Cass. It’ll be fine. Ye’ve been doin’ so great. Remember that.” I reassured her. She snapped out of it once I squeezed her shoulder. “I mean it. I doona think I can e’er thank ye ‘nuff.” “Well, there is one thing you can do for me…” Cassidy said, glancing around. I looked as well. There were only a few interns and salaried employees still there. We’d been working on various minutiae since sundown. Cassidy gestured me to come closer, easier for her to whisper in my ear. “GO GET SOME SLEEP!” Or so I thought. I left laughing. Maybe it was the emotional roller coaster of a day. Or the one the next day would surely be. It didn’t matter which, really. It just felt good to laugh. Dorian was waiting outside the door. We walked mostly in silence until we reached the pavement. I’d expected a full regiment and heavily guarded carriage. It came as a surprise to see nothing of the sort. “I figured we could walk instead.” Dorian explained, leading the way. “It’s a nice night out. We can…talk.” “I’ve got at least 3 pots a’ coffee in me anyway. I could stand tuh walk it off.” I replied. The main streets were bustling and crowded. Full of tourists and countrymen come to see the big event. Temporary booths had cropped up full of souvenirs and “traditional” Fathish snacks. More than a couple of them did smell enticing, to say the least. We veered off onto the side streets before I could suggest stopping for a bite. “I’ve talked it over with Lorelei. I’ve decided to accept your offer.” Dorian finally said once there were less people around. “That’s great, Stry-!” “Under certain conditions.” I should have figured as much. Dorian had been doubtful just hours before. I could only hope the concessions wouldn’t be too drastic. “Oh? An’ what conditions would these be?” I asked after a moment. There was the occasional drunken group or tired worker on their way home to avoid. “First and foremost, I want you to have bodyguards. Proper ones.” Dorian stated. “A king should have protection at all times.” “I have me Shield charm now-!” “A Shield charm that can be tampered with again?” “Surrounded by people who could stab me in the back?” It was a quiet, awkward moment as we waited to cross the street. “You know I’d make sure only the best were chosen.” Dorian eventually stated. “Aye, like that trigger-happy Avilla?” I snapped. It came out before I could stop myself. “…I’ve offered ‘Melia a job, by the way.” “Who?” “The Human Wyvern rider. Thought yer squad could use some trained mounts. Dunno if she’ll ‘cept though.” “I’ll welcome her gladly is she does.” Dorian said without hesitation. “And far away from Avilla.” “Heh. I’d ‘preciate it if ye did. Any other conditions?” “Were you serious about Humans in the military?” “If they volunteer fer it, like yer squad did. I woona pressgang anyone intuh service, Tergaian or Human ‘like.” “Good. Ever since you mentioned it, I couldn’t help thinking of forming a Human squad for…discreet missions.” We only stared at each other at first. It didn’t take much imagination to wonder what he meant. It was something else I had despised about being High Lord. Would continue to despise as King. “…I hate spy work, ye know that.” I told him once we got to Sorley Bridge. I stopped to take a look at the swirling river underneath. It was calming to watch it flow. I’d wondered how easy it would be to jump off. Wondered how quickly it would end. “You’re about to catch the eye of several nations with their own spies. You’ll need more as soon as possible.” Dorian stated as he watched with me. “Every monarch needs to know what goes on outside the country.” “Gods help me, I hate world politics.” We stood there for a while, watching the water. There was a great temptation to take the plunge. Dorian would follow, if not stop me. I knew he would. I finally gave a nod of approval. “I doona feel right callin’em ‘spies’ though. Maybe…infermation gatherers? Intelligence officers? I’m sure we can come up with somethin’ later.” I said as we started walking again. Home was within sight. There were sure to be people at the gate, even at this hour. “Was there anythin’ else ye had in mind?” “I’m not wearing the damn hat.” Dorian growled. “…” “Caduceus Himself would request it and I still wouldn’t wear it.” “…” “I’m serious, Colm.” “I know ye are. That’s what makes it so great. Fine, no damn hat.” As expected, the gate was crowded. Mainly by tourists and random Fathish citizens come to see the mansion, and the High Lord, one last time before the big day. Dorian and the gate guards got me through and to the front door without incident. Plenty of pictures were taken nonetheless. The house was fairly quiet as I walked up to the second floor. Boxes were stacked neatly waiting for tomorrow. I took my time and soaked everything in. Walls with empty spots where pictures used to be, waiting to be hung up once more. So many things were going to change the next day. I could only hope I had the strength to bear it all. The door barely creaked as I slipped into my room. That was something else I wasn’t accustomed to just yet. I hadn’t the need to sneak into my own room since secondary school. Let’s just say there were a lot of late night study sessions with Annie and plenty of chances to be caught back then. It wasn’t necessary after all. There was a light shining from a box in one corner of the room. Bridget was awake and in her bathroom. “Colm, that you?” she shouted. The curtains parted to reveal her familiar, miniature silhouette. “Heh. Aye, just me. What are ye still doin’ up? Thought ye’d be sound ‘sleep by now.” “Oh, you know how it is. Just last minute panic about what to wear to a coronation even though god only knows who’ll notice you anyway!” I chuckled as I headed to my own closet to change. After all that happened, it was nice to know Bridget still wanted to be in the coronation party. It would have been devastating if she chose to stay at home, but I wouldn’t have stopped her. I was having my own doubts about showing up. I wonder if she’d be up for another week away from civilization… It felt good to get out of the suit. Like I was letting all the troubles from the day just fall away. My pajamas never felt more comfortable. Bridget had her own pajamas and rabbit slippers on by the time I headed for bed. I offered an open palm to help her bypass the stairs set beside my mattress. “Nah man, I need the exercise.” Bridget explained as she waved me off. “Heh. After the week ye had, ye’d ne’er need tuh exercise ‘gain.” “The week we had. I still…man, I still can’t believe you were following me the whole time.” “Not the whole time, exactly. I was off by a few hours.” I reminded her. I was already lying down by the time she reached the night stand. Her armchair sat near the lamp. It was easier to talk when we were both comfortable. “Still. The whole time. I…I can’t…Colm, I can’t tell you how scared I was. I thought…I thought I’d be lost forever. That I was going to…to…” Bridget choked out. It took her some time to talk again. It was oversized to her, but I offered a handkerchief anyway. “I appreciate it more than you can ever know.” “Ye’d ne’er have been in trouble if it werne fer me. I can ne’er ‘pologize ‘nuff tuh ye.” “Probably not. But the effort is welcome.” Her chuckles were refreshing. It was great to hear her laugh again. To have her safe and sound again. I’d make it up to her no matter what. Even if it took me the rest of my life. “Did you finish your speech?” Bridget asked. “Or are you just going to make shit up as you go along?” “Aye, ye got me. That was me plan all ‘long. How did ye e’er guess?” The King’s Speech. Good Gods, how many precedents would I be setting tomorrow? How many hearts would I win over? How many enemies would I make? Would I survive the day? Would I want to? “You alright there, Scruffy?” “Hmm? Oh, aye, I’m alright.” I said when I snapped out of my thoughts. “Just thinkin’ ‘bout tuhmorrow.” “I’m all ears, Scruffy.” “It’s nothin’ tuh worry ‘bout, Runt.” “Colm, remember the balloon?” Bridget sighed. “If you fill it up too much…” “…it’ll pop. Aye. Just doona think it’s a ‘poppin’ kinda thing.” “Your face says otherwise.” “…Ye canna say I dinna warn ye.” I needed to collect my thoughts. There were quite a lot of them to sort through. I didn’t want to overwhelm her. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m worried I’m not doin’ the right thing. That tuhmorrow is gonna be me last day on Tergaia. Whether that means someone assassinates me or I break me neck walkin’ down the steps or I throw meself in front uv’a cart. Is Maureen Arcadi herself gonna start hauntin’ me fer doin’ this? What would me ancestors think? Me descendants? Am I e’en gonna have descendants? What if the Alliance ne’er ‘cepts us? What if I’ve just made an entire nation hate me fer a ‘vanity’ project? What if this is the end a’ the Arcadis? Will Queen Letitia attend or will she be her typical stick-up-the-arse Boudish self an’ skip out? Was invitin’er in bad taste? I thought it would be a good way tuh show Fathach’s sincerity but now I’m wonderin’ if it wasne seen as an insult. Will the family Mutiny befer I e’er get crowned? What if the crown doesne fit? What if it gets lost? How will people react tuh me speech? What if none a’ that happens an’ it all goes well but then it feckin’ rains?!” There was more but getting that much out was a relief. It all still sounded so stupid aloud but…I needed it off my chest. It felt…better. Not great, but better at least. Until I turned back to Bridget. “…I o’erdid it, dinna I?” I asked softly. She hadn’t responded. I was half-worried she’d fallen asleep. Not that I would’ve blamed her. “No, no Scruffy. You didn’t, I swear. It’s just a lot to process, especially for a ‘not popping kind of thing’.” she said with a chuckle. “Would it help if I said I know what it’s like to feel that anxious?” “It would. If I thought anyone could be as…paranoid as I’m feelin’ right now.” “…I did. Still do, in a way. I…I think I’m ready to tell you the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” “Bridget, ye doona have tuh-!” “Colm if I don’t do this now, I don’t think I ever will. Just…just listen. Let me tell you.” I nodded and waited patiently. She needed time and I wasn’t thick enough to rush her over it. “It started about 2 years ago.” Bridget began. “About half way through August, I started getting these pains in my side…”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 19

dA link

Chapter 19: Confrontations

I was sincerely dreading the moment. The wait was agony in and of itself. There was so much I had on my mind, so much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to scream. But I knew I had to be calm. For a while anyway. I wanted to hear her confession first. They brought her into the interrogation room soon enough. The guards were dismissed as soon as she was shackled securely to the table and floor. They weren’t in the mood to take risks. Neither was I. It should have been odd to see her in a prison uniform or to see the manacles on her wrists. Any other person, maybe. But there was no sympathy for the woman who tried to kill me. To kill Bridget. Who was willing to hurt others in her attempt. Someone I thought I could trust with my life. Not even one day behind bars and she still looked calm and collected. Like she was out for a day trip or unexpected holiday. I half expected her to check an itinerary to make sure she was still on schedule. It only made my blood boil more. “Is this your attempt to get a confession?” she asked after a few minutes. “Did you think staring me down in person would be what it took?” A part of me was hoping that would be the case. It wasn’t really needed at this point. We had the Carmichaels’ confessions and stacks of evidence from TETH headquarters. A raid of her office and her home provided the last pieces we would need for a conviction. Alongside a decade-long secret. “…It’s not going to work. You might as well just let me go back to my cell. I’ll need time to prepare for my trial and it takes time finding a barrister willing to defend someone accused of treason.” I almost smiled at that. “Accused”. This wasn’t come unsupported allegation. We had her dead to rights. There was no possible way she thought she was in the clear. “Who knows? This might just overshadow the coronation. It’s what you’d want, isn’t it? To take the attention away long enough for people to forget you and your incompetence?” She really liked to talk, didn’t she? It was always her job, of course. Talking, spinning, and explaining everything away with a few words. Why hadn’t I really listened all these years? It seemed so obvious looking back. This, or something like it, was a long time coming. Maybe I just never expected her to have gone this far. “Gods Love, will you just SAY something already?!” she screeched after a while. She wanted to pretend otherwise but I was finally getting to her. We still had that in common at least. Good at pretending in our worst moments. I didn’t say anything. Not at first. I merely took out the book and laid it down between us. Her expression barely changed, but she kept her attention on it. Maybe she wasn’t expecting it to be found. Or maybe she was and hoped I wasn’t the one to confront her about it. It didn’t matter. I needed answers. “Why?” I finally asked. “Why have ye been hidin’ me Dad’s planner from me, Lydia?” It was her turn to give the silent treatment. Fine. I was ready to do some talking. “I coulda considered it an o’ersight if ye’d given it tuh me sooner. Maybe, oh, I dunno, a few weeks after his death. Hells, maybe e’en after Mum died. I prob’ly wooda been tuh distraught tuh give it much thought why it took so long. Maybe ye coulda said it was in Mum’s possession. That she hadne the heart tuh hand it o’er yet. Lied an’ said Mum wanted tuh keep it fer’er own. As a way a’ rememberin’ Dad. I wooda believed it. Swallowed it hook, line, an’ sinker. We all wooda, most likely.” Lydia continued to sit there in silence. Her eyes were still transfixed on the book even as I took it back. She followed it when I held it up. “Not now, though. There’s no excuse why ye’d keep it in a locked safe in yer office fer almost a decade.” I gave her a chance to talk. Waited for her explanation. I had some idea what was on her mind but wanted to hear it from her. When she kept quiet, I put forth my theory. “Now, this is just me guess a’course…” I mentioned, flipping through the pages. “But I think ye dinna want me tuh see some a’ the things Dad wrote. He had plenty a’ notes in here on ‘lotta topics. People, tuh.” Still no response. It was starting to irritate me. Not that I was exactly calm about any of this beforehand. “Ye’d think someone who dinna want anyone tuh see this wooda got rid uv’it long ‘go. Burn it, maybe. Throw it in the river. Maybe just toss it ‘way an’ hope no one found it. Or maybe if ye were feelin’ really ambitious, ye wooda sold it off tuh someone wantin’ tuh hurt Fathach. Tuh hurt Dad. Tuh hurt any Arcadi. But that wasne possible was it Lydia?” I fought back the urge to start yelling. Barely. “‘Gain, this is just me guessin’ here, but this is spell-locked an’ heav’ly enchanted. Ye coodne get rid uv’it cuz it’s Indestructible. Has a Return charm on it in case it gets lost tuh. S’posed tuh send it right back tuh the owner’s desk if it gets tuh far ‘way. His desk. Currently me desk. An’ a’ course, ye dinna want me tuh see it. Not after what ye read. Not sure how ye did that, though. No one else has been able tuh e’en open it ‘cept fer me, Liam, an’ Molly. Closes shut fer e’eryone else. Are ye secretly a Master Magician or did ye just get lucky?” The silence was finally broken by her laughter. “‘Lucky’? You think I was lucky?” she asked once she caught her breath again. “I didn’t need to ‘get in’. I was his P.A.’s assistant when he was still alive. He told me about his ideas. Me, the fresh out of school intern hoping to make her way up the ladder. How privileged I thought I was to be his ear. Gods, how idiotic it all sounds now. Hownaïve I was.” I didn’t have to dig for answers now. I’d hit her sore spot. “I thought you’d be different, of course. With Cuculhain gone, you didn’t really know the day-to-day routine. We were there to help. Before my predecessor retired. You remember Arnold, don’t you?” “…Van Cleef. Retired a few months after Mum died.” I recalled. The name didn’t come back right away. “Arnie was a good man.” “He was an idiot. Coddled the bloody Hells out of you. I didn’t used to think so, of course. Just thought you Arcadis were…eccentric.” “I’m not sure why ye thought-?” “YOU MAKE COFFEE RUNS FOR CADUCEUS’ SAKE!” she yelled, turning it into another fit of laughter. “You, the leader of the damn country, going to the local coffee shop! For your staff! Who the HELLS does that?!” “It’s only fair to chip in from time to time, Lydia. E’eryone-!” “But you’re NOT everyone! It isn’t your job! It isn’t your PLACE! Gods, you damn Arcadis are the worst, aren’t you? One of the few ruling families in the world to consistently stay in power and you act like it’s nothing. Like it wasn’t hard or unusual.” It was unusual. It was difficult beyond comprehension. If there’s only one thing we Arcadis can share, it’s our delusion that we weren’t going to crumble one day. We were lucky to have ruled as long as we have. It’s a bloodymiracle. But we pretend to ignore it. If we got too full of ourselves, we would fall one day. It was one of the biggest fears I had. Once I became King, how long would I last? “An’ that’s why ye decided tuh kill me? Fer bein’ ‘eccentric’?” I asked as calmly as I could. This…conversation was starting to frustrate me. More so than I figured it would. “You weren’t my target. But yes. It was because of your newfound oddity.” Lydia stated with a sneer. “You just HAD to get a Human, didn’t you?” I blinked. She didn’t really say what I thought she said, did she? “Are ye tellin’me…ye did this, alla this…‘cuz a’ Bridget?” “If you wanted another damn pet, we could have set something up! Gone to a local shelter, find another dog like Barlowe! I know how much you loved that damn thing! Could have made a sizable donation, get some good publicity from it! Hells, we could have gotten you a damn purebred from an allied country and made ourselves look even better before the Alliance!” Lydia ranted. Her chains shook with each word and gesture. “But no. Of course not. You decided to run away for a week and come back with a Human. A wild Human. Couldn’t even go to a shelter or alleyway, had to go out and away! And look where it landed you!” “Closer tuh bein’ in the Alliance than e’er befer?” “NO! Gods be damned even now you think that rat had some sway in all of this! Who do you think had to set everything up? Had to make the right noises, say the right words, cajole and connive to make sure Riese would even consider looking Fathach’s way?” “Yet despite yer efforts, King Gerwulf changed his mind thanks tuh Bridget.” Gerwulf told me and Liam himself. That night at the Spring’s End Ball, he’d asked for the both of us. He wanted a private chat, away from all the eyes and ears. The drawing room seemed the best place. Gerwulf’s guards kept watch outside the room, at the doors and the veranda. He cast his own Silence spell before we sat down. The only other person was Mr. Livingston but he left after serving drinks. I hated not having Mr. Livingston bustling about; it felt too serious otherwise. “Have ye been enjoyin’ yerself, yer Highness?” I asked once we all had a glass in hand. I could have had a whole bottle to myself if it meant not having to go through the conversation. “Very much so, thank you, my lord.” he replied. He took a sip of whiskey but politely set it back down. Gerwulf’s cane stayed in his hand instead. “You must come to Riese someday for a season’s end festival. Winter’s End is usually quite lovely.” “We’d be happy tuh take ye up on that, yer Highness.” Liam replied automatically. Liam was our main diplomat after all. Chances were high he’d be the one to go. I hadn’t left the country since…since Dad died. I hadn’t the heart for it. Especially after Mum passed. “Please. We are alone and away from the crowd. There is no need for such formalities. Gerwulf, please.” he’d said with a stroke of his beard. “Nor for the niceties. Allow me to ah, ‘cut the chit-chat’.” “A’ course yer…Gerwulf.” I said. I already knew what was going to be said. I just wanted it done and over with. “About your Alliance proposal…” “I ‘pologize ‘bout that. This was s’posed tuh be a night fer fun not business. There’s no need tuh discuss it any-!” “Oh, but there is. Your assistant, I believe, has been badgering me about it every chance tonight. Not outright, mind you, but I am old. Not a fool. I’ve been around the block, so to speak, with these things. Fathach is not the first or last country to seek sponsorship from Riese.” I wasn’t sure if I should strangle Lydia for disregarding my orders or give her a raise for setting us back. “Frankly, I thought I had my mind made up already. The last few days in your country have been…nice. But I’d barely gotten the chance to know you, Colm. Of you, yes, but not directly. I’d hate to pass judgment before doing so.” No, it would have been fine. I sincerely didn’t want the deal to go through. Not yet, anyway. Maybe in another century or two. “Then I talked with your Human friend.” “Er, aye?” I gulped. I could only imagine what sort of international incident I’d have to resolve before the night’s end. Hopefully there was enough liquor to pull me through it all. “And I changed my mind. I believe Fathach might have what it takes to be in the Alliance.” “What?!” Liam and I said at the same time. “I’ll not discuss what she told me. I made that promise to her in earnest. I will say it showed me something I was trying to find all night: a chance. Hope.” “A-aye?” “I’m a Vigilant, my lords. And I hold true to its most popular yet overlooked saying: ‘Those who mistreat the least of us do not deserve the best the Heavens have to offer’. You are not perfect. But you are trying. There are too many who don’t even have that.” I could feel Liam’s eyes on me. We were probably thinking the same thing. No, I knew we were. What the Hells did Bridget say? “I will stand for you at the next Alliance meeting. That will be during the first week of October. You have only a few months, I know. There isn’t a good chance you’ll be accepted right away. But you will be known.” Gerwulf explained. He kept fidgeting with his cane as he spoke. It was a little annoying, to be honest. “You must also realize Boudan will be against you. They want to know you can ah, ‘play by the rules’. That should the time come, you’ll name aking.” We’d worked and fought hard for our independence. Boudan knew we resisted establishing a monarchy. It was one of the things Maureen Arcadi herself avoided. Fathach didn’t need royalty. They needed leaders. “Thank ye, Gerwulf. We ‘preciate it. If there’s anythin’ I can do tuh make it up tuh ye, name it.” I said, putting on my biggest smile and shaking his hand. “I’m sure there are some trade agreements to be made, but I think for now I would appreciate directions to the nearest toilette.” With that, the king was gone. “So that’s it.” Liam said after a while. He finished off his drink in one gulp. “We’ve got the chance we’ve been workin’ fer all these years.” “Aye.” I took my time with my own glass. “Doesne mean we’ll be in, a’ course.” “Aye.” “Ye werne thinkin’ it’d happen, aye?” “Aye.” “…Ye were hopin’ it woodne.” “Was it that obvious?” “Not really. Took me a few years tuh realize yer heart wasne in it.” “I just…I thought it wooda been somethin’ Dad wooda tried tuh do…” I admitted, still swirling my drink. “Then it all got outta hand an’…an’ I coodne back down after ‘while…” “I know that all tuh well. Why do ye think I became your deputy magistrate an’ diplomat?” “…What?” “I thought Mum would want us helpin’ each other. An’…an’ I always thought bein’ High Lord would be a burden. I was…was scared fer ye when Dad made his choice. If I had tuh do this ‘lone? I’d go mental, that’s fer sure.” Liam explained, refilling and downing his glass in an instant. “Good thing that dinna happen, aye?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him how wrong he was. “So what do we do now?” he asked. “Now…now I’m off tuh me study. Maybe start lookin’ fer good arguments tuh make fer the rest a’ the family. Hells, maybe just hide fer the rest a’ the night. This is…this is bigger than I thought it’d be.” “It was always big, Colm. It just looked smaller from further ‘way.” Liam added with a pat on the back. “If yer gonna get plastered on yer own, least doona try tuh break anythin’ this time, aye?” “When was the last time that e’en happened?” I asked. I could be a belligerent drunk if I had too much in me, sure. I’d never deny that. But I couldn’t recall being destructive. “…Elizarbeth’s terrarium.” Liam said cooly. “Oi, fer the last damn time, that wasne me! Yer damn lizard wrecked’er own damn tank!” “She would ne’er have done that!” “Elizarbeth was a four foot long Unicorn Iguana an’ could get out on’er own!” “She only e’er got out once! “SHE GOT OUT ALL THE TIME AN’ WAS STALKIN’ ME! She used tuh watch me sleep, Liam. In me own bed. I nearly threw’er intuh the wall the night I caught her sittin’ on me!” I said. “I woodne be surprised if she’s still livin’ in the walls somewhere waitin’ fer the right moment tuh strike!” My heart nearly stopped when an unexpected CREAK came from a corner of the room. It turned out to be the door to the liquor cabinet. “…Liam, if I die from any mysterious causes tuhnight…” “Now yer just bein’ paranoid.” “Ye say that now, but just ye wait! Yer damn lizard’s playin’ the long game!” I laughed. I had to. I’d forgotten all about that conversation. Bridget and her friend Tyrese had been in trouble soon enough. Completely slipped my mind until then. “What’s so damn funny?” Lydia demanded, taking me out of the memory. I’d almost forgotten why I was there. “Just…thinkin’ how that was the night ye met each other.” I said. It wasn’t a lie. There were many reasons I’d avoided the office and work before that night. Lydia was one of them. “Was that when ye decided she needed tuh die?” “I didn’t want her to die. Not…not until the next day. When she…gloated about Gerwulf. All those years, all that careful planning, everything scheduled down to the last damn detail! ALL A WASTE OF TIME BECAUSE OF THATTHING! It was ridiculous! Preposterous! DISGRACEFUL!” “As disgraceful as needin’ an Explosive letter tuh get rid uv’er? Puttin’ lives at risk fer one Human? Conspirin’ an’ commitin’ Treason? An’ that’s not e’en touchin’ the obvious assassination ‘tempt.” Lydia didn’t have an answer. I, however, still had more on my mind. “…Why Bounce? What was the point a’ casting on that on a charm meant fer me?” “Because I knew it wasn’t for you. When you asked for that spare it was easy to guess who it was really for. I’m the one who has your supplies reenchanted, remember? You wouldn’t need a spare. I was biding my time, waiting for a reason to send the damn rat out in the middle of nowhere and hope it’d die in a ditch. The letter from TETH was…it was an idea they suggested, not one I thought they’d follow through with.” “But one ye still went ‘long with when it arrived.” “I…I didn’t…you weren’t…you weren’t supposed to be there when it…” Lydia stammered, stopping to compose herself after a moment. “It doesn’t matter. We both know I’ll be out of here soon enough.” “Oh? An’ why’s that?” I asked as sweetly as I could. “Because I know too much. Every dirty little secret that never made it to the papers. Every thought and feeling you don’t want anyone else to know. You want to keep all of that covered up as much as I want to be out of these chains. You think you’ve found all my hiding spots? Not even close. I’ll never have a trial and you know it.” I laughed. I laughed long and hard. I was in tears by the time I ran out of breath. Lydia was right to look unnerved when we made eye contact again. “Yer…a heh heh…yer wrong ‘bout so many things, Lydia. So very wrong. There isne anythin’ ye think ye have on me that I’m not willin’ tuh admit tuh the public. There’s no way ye’d be let off just ‘cuz ye think ye can blackmail me. But most uv’all, an’ this one is the most important, yer wrong ‘bout facin’ a judge. This was yer trial.” The stunned look on Lydia’s face almost made me regret the laughter. Almost. When it contorted back into her negotiating smile, all sympathy was gone. “It seems the High Lord truly is inept if he thinks he can throw someone into prison without their right to trial by a jury of their peers. With a high profile prisoner like me, no less? Even the lowliest criminal can-!” “The Iagan Act of 1817.” I reminded her. “A rarely used but legal precedent set down for extreme cases. When a criminal proves they are too dangerous for a public trial, a private trial is allowed.” “I am NOT a-!” “Ye just confessed tuh usin’ a dangerous an’ excessive spell tuh destroy a single Human in a buildin’ full a Tergaians. Iagan Arcadi tried tuh rid his house uv’a spider by tryin’ tuh burn it down. I doona see the difference.” “You can’t just-!” “Lydia Angana Patel, as the highest law a’ this land, I hereby pronounce ye incompetent tuh face a public trial. With yer confession-!” “NO! I HAVE CONFESSED TO NOTHING! YOU CAN’T JUST-!” “With yer confession an’ state a’ mind, I have no choice but tuh sentence ye tuh life in prison. Parole will only be considered after a minimum period a’ twenty years or based on yer good behavior.” “YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! I HAVE RIGHTS! I KNOW YOU, ARCADI! I’LL TELL ANYONE WHO’LL LISTEN ALL YOUR SECRETS!” “Goodbye, Lydia. May the Gods have mercy on ye.” The guards tried their best to wrangle Lydia in, but she was screaming and fighting too hard. It took her trying to bite one before she was gagged. I had to stop the other from using her baton to settle Lydia down. Even as she was dragged out of the room, she was trying to scream at the top of her lungs. It was more painful to watch than I thought it would be. Only after her screams stopped echoing did I let out my true frustrations. I don’t know what I hated more: the loss of someone I trusted for a long time…or using an outdated law to punish them. Either way, I felt horrendous. Sick. Like I truly was a great big dumb monster. “…Feel better now?” Dorian asked once all was said and done. He stepped out of his corner and made me sit down. Against the wall, it turned out. “Not in the least.” I mumbled. My hands felt like fire and I was out of breath. I just wanted everything to be numb again. If only for a little while. “Well, at least the table and chairs will think twice before messing with you again.” “Is this what it’s going to be like now?” “Only if you have a thing against pine.” “Am I gonna have tuh watch me back all the time? Second guess people I think are friends? Just…hide meself e’enmore?” The quiet said it all. At first. Dorian’s sigh was expected. His sitting down next to me was not. “I wish I could tell you. I wish you didn’t have to worry about these things.” he said softly. “But we both know you can’t ignore them either.” “I may be daft Stryfe, but I’m not that daft.” “It did seem to slip your mind that the Iagan Act has always ended in an execution, not a life sentence.” The words ran through my mind but never made it to my tongue. How could I explain it properly? Who’d be able to understand? Lydia may have tried to kill me and one of my best friends but…I just…I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sentence her to death. “This’ll come back tuh bite me in the arse, woona it?” “Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.” Gods Above, what I wouldn’t give for more time. “Speakin’ a’ time, I’ve other places tuh be befer tuhmorrow.” “Don’t you mean Sunday? Unless you’ve moved the coronation up a day?” “No, tuhmorrow I still need tuh interview people fer new an’ ol’ positions. Includin’ ye.” “Me?” Dorian asked, flustered. It was another rare sight but one I enjoyed experiencing. “An’ Private Kenzie. But fer now, I’ve a date with a lovely lady who’s been entirely tuh patient ‘nuff with me already.” It wasn’t a date. Not exactly. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure what would happen when I arrived at the Relax Inn unannounced. I came prepared as best I could. The basics I had down pat: flowers, in her preferred bouquet; her favorite wine in good vintage; and the much needed apology lamp. It was the largest I could find on short notice. But most of all, I was preparing myself for the break-up. In case this was the last straw. Annie couldn’t be blamed. It was all my fault. It always was my mistake. Annie deserved better. And if this was what it took, then I wouldn’t fight it. “Colm? Is that…it is! COLM!” I nearly jumped at the voice. The lobby of the Inn was usually a crowded, loud place. Today was no different. The queue was longer than I’d ever seen it. Many turned to look, most whispered, waved, or took a picture when they recognized me. Good Gods, I was going to have to deal with this more, wasn’t I? “IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR PLACE IN LINE THEN KEEP YOUR PLACE IN LINE!” Audrey thought to call out when a few tried to make their way to me. She ran out from behind the front counter once all was settled. I was in a hug before I knew it. “Colm, thank the Gods! You’re alright!” “Aye, Audrey, I am. It’s good tuh see ye tuh.” “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home resting or getting ready or something?” “Erm, ah, I came tuh see Annie…if she wants tuh see me. Does…do ye think she…she’d wanna…?” Annie was the first person I called once I got inside Castle Scáth. I’d asked Bridget to take over the memo pad and list duties. Most of the Humans knew where they needed to go. Some didn’t. A few, I think, were seriously considering making the castle home. It took a while to get through, even longer to get Annie on the line. The Inn was the most popular hotel in Arcadia after all. With a historic event around the corner, it was no surprise for it to be busy. Or hear Annie so frazzled. I didn’t need to get much into the conversation. The moment I’d said her name, she went off. Several minutes passed as she screamed and berated, sobbed and choked, and eventually calmed down long enough to ask how I was. Gods, it really was one of the reasons I loved her. She was never afraid to speak her mind. The look on Audrey’s face made me think I’d made a mistake. Wouldn’t be the first time, obviously. Just as I was about to cut and run, one of the attendants waved for our attention. “M’lord? Miss Annie says to meet her upstairs.” the attendant said once I walked over. “In the Crosby Room.” “Alright, thank ye very much.” I was nervous as I climbed the stairway. There were no others on the stairwell, thankfully, but the feeling remained. I wasn’t sure what to expect. More yelling, for certain. The coast was clear by the time I reached the correct landing. A well-kept secret of the Inn and it had the most simple of protection spells. Illusion to hide the door, reinforcements and passwords specific for certain people. People who’ve used the room once cannot enter again with the same password. Unless you’re family. Or close enough to it. “Gressleweed Casserole.” I whispered. The door revealed itself in an instant. There was a compulsion to knock on the door. It creaked open at first, but swung wide in an instant. “Colm, thank the Gods!” Annie exclaimed once she got her arms around me. We stayed there in the doorway long enough for it to automatically close behind us. And push us in forcefully. “There goes that lamp…” I said while we got up from the floor. “I’ll get ye ‘nother one, promise.” “I’m just so glad to see you.” “Really? I dinna think ye’d wanna…” “Colm, the last time I saw you was in hospital after you knocked yourself out. I’m just…it’s a relief to see your face and not just hear your voice. I missed you so much, Idiot.” “Aye, missed ye tuh. An’ I’m sorry fer…fer e’erythin’. I dinna mean tuh run out ‘gain. I shooda told ye in person at least an’…an’ I’ll make it up tuh ye anyway I can.” “You can start by telling me what happened.” And I did. I spent the time laying by her side and telling her about my frantic week. All the incidents, all the things I learned, the thoughts that came across my mind. Well, not everything. I didn’t want to worry her with all the details of close-calls or…or the depressing realizations. Annie let me talk for the most part, but asked questions every now and again. I thought for sure I was boring her. I was never a great storyteller. I didn’t lead an exciting life. Her polite attention was appreciated nonetheless. “Where’s Bridget now? How’d she take the news about Lydia? They were never on best terms…” “She’s at home, restin’. The Bouncin’ took more out uv’er than she thought. But she ranted up a storm befer passin’ out. Had more tuh say ‘bout Lydia than I thought.” “And you? How are you handling all of this?” That was a good question. One I still thought needed more deliberation. “…I thought I knew’er. We werne best friends or anythin’, but…I canna believe I dinna see it comin’. We got on each other’s nerves but I coodne imagine’er goin’ so far just ‘cuz…‘cuz a’…I dunno. ‘Cuz I’m tryin’ tuh do better?” It was hard to explain. The words didn’t sound right. Nothing about the situation seemed right. “I just wish I werne such an idiot…” I muttered as I pulled Annie closer. Gods, how I wished I could stay like that forever. Quiet and serene as I cuddled with the person I loved best in the world. Life didn’t get much better than that. “You’re not an idiot, Colm. You can’t blame yourself for this. No one could have seen this coming.” Annie tried to reassure me. She snuggled closer, holding me tighter. “I mean, Bridget’s not my favorite person either, but there’s such a thing as going too far.” “She…isne…?” “Of course not. She just gets to hang out with him.” It took longer to catch on than I’d like to admit. “Oh. Oh! I’m yer favorite person, am I?” “Hmm. Maybe a bit on the slow side, but I wouldn’t trade you for all the gold in the world.” The sentiment made me feel better. A little bit. But in the back of my head, there was still a little part of me that feared the worst. I kept it as silent as I could. I didn’t want to ruin the moment. “I don’t suppose you’d be up for a quickie before the real world catches up again?” Annie asked after a while. “Mmmm…doesne have tuh be all that quick, does it?” I asked as I leaned in for a kiss. Just as we got each other’s shirts undone, the phone rang. Of course. “Gods damnit!” Annie yelled as she reached for the bloody ringing thing. “This better be a Gods-damn emergen-! Oh? What? How did that-? No, they weren’t supposed to be here for another hour! No, it’s fine, I’ll be right down.” “E’erythin’ alright?” “There’s been a room mix-up and now I need to avert an international incident. You know how it is.” “A lil’ bit.” We got dressed and left the room quickly. Something else came to mind as we started down the stairs together. “I almost fergot: yer still comin’ tuh the coronation, right?” “…No Colm, I think I need to wash my hair that day. Yes, of course I’m coming!” “I just wanted tuh know if ye wanted tuh sit up on the stage with Liam an’ Molly an’em or if ye’d prefer a front row seat or somethin’. I know ye doona like bein’ the center uv’attention at big events like that.” I almost crashed into Annie when she stopped. The look on her face told me everything in an instant. It terrified her. “I…that’s a good question…” she said after a moment. “Can I get back to you on that?” “A’ course! Though I think we’d change it fer ye at the last minute if need be.” “‘We’?” “Oh, aye, Cassidy is still plannin’ e’erythin’ out.” I explained while we continued down. “She’s handlin’ it all sobeautifully. She did have a different question though…if ye were on stage, with us, what would we call ye?” “My name, I’d assume.” “Heh. No, I think she meant yer title or relation. I said why not call ye the King’s Consort but ‘parently that’s more like ‘wife’ not ‘girlfriend’.” “I thought it could mean both?” “That’s what I thought tuh.” “Well, I’m fine with Consort if need be. Girlfriend is fine, but I get why it doesn’t sound so…‘dignified’.” she said when we reached the bottom. “I’m not sure how bad this’ll be. Can we meet up later? Or tomorrow?” “Dunno ‘bout tuhmorrow. Got a great big heap a’ day interviews. But if I’m free tuhmorrow night…?” “I’ll call you to make sure. Good luck out there, Colm.” “Aye, ye tuh Annie.” The kiss seemed to last forever. At least, I wanted it to last. But, yet again, we were interrupted soon enough. “Oh! Sorry!” the man blurted as he opened and closed the door. “I hope it woona always have tuh be like this…” I grumbled. “Just think, with the crown comes a new castle. New castle means…new secret passages and hidden rooms.” Annie said playfully. “Who knows the kind of mischief we can get up to!” “Gasp! Miss Malone! How scandalous! Think a’ the rumors sure tuh go ‘round!” “You know you love it.” “I know I love ye.” The real world laid behind the door, but there was still time for one more kiss. “OH!” And one more pinch. “Miss Malone! How ferward!”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 18

dA link

Chapter 18: Divine Observation

They never felt like dreams. More like…memories trying to remind me of themselves as I slept. They mostly came in flashes. Nothing seemed to last. But it all came back in an instant. The light was so warm. Bright. Comforting. I finally felt safe. I wanted the feeling to last forever. It wasn’t to last. I awoke in a field, laying against a tree. The sun felt dull somehow. Nowhere near as warm or bright as it should have been. Nothing looked familiar. The grass went on for miles. Mountains were far off in the horizon. What buildings I could see were a fair distance away. “Mmm…where am I?” I murmured to myself. My body felt light but weak. I was afraid I’d float away if I tried to move. “Can you not guess, Colm Arcadi?” My heart nearly stopped at the voice. It was sweet and calm and seemingly came from nowhere. A glance around found no one nearby. Or so I thought. “Behind you, Colm Arcadi.” She was reading a book while sat on the tree. The lady was comfortably lounging on a thick, heavy branch. She was concentrated on the pages before her and paid me no mind as I stood up. “Er, pardon me ma’am, but where-?” I tried to ask politely. “Take a look around you and try to remember. The answer may yet come to you.” I tried. I sincerely did. It all looked the same to me. Nothing to be seen, to recognize. Indistinguishable, to put it nicely. “Perhaps it would help if you tried to recognize me first, Colm Arcadi.” she suggested after a while. I wasn’t sure how it was supposed to help. Her face didn’t look familiar, not right away. I’d seen plenty of Visdian women in town who wore the veil and sari. Or was it the langa vani? I got them confused sometimes. The blue hues of her clothes were nice. The colors all seemed to swirl in and out of each other. Her book was heavy and leather-bound. No title could be seen. She finally looked up from its pages. Her eyes were like the sky at noon. A blue so bright and clear that I thought I’d be lost in them forever. I almost thought I could see…every…thing… It finally clicked. “M’Lady Kismet!” I was on bended knee in an instant. It was the least a person could do when confronted by the Goddess of Fate and Destiny. “Fergive me, M’Lady! I dinna know an’ I ‘pologize deeply. Spare me, M’Lady, an’ I’ll-!” “Worry not, Colm Arcadi.” Lady Kismet said, returning to Her book. “There was no wrong to right. You could not have been expecting me.” “Erm, no, M’Lady. I wasne.” “Perhaps now you might know where we are?” I wracked my hazy brain for an answer. Lady Kismet was here. But it didn’t feel like any of the Heavens. There was no overwhelming sense of joy or happiness the Tome always described. Nor any of the despair or pain associated with the Hells. It felt like neither of them yet both… “Are we…is this…the Medius, M’Lady?” “Correct. Please do get up, we’ve places to go.” Lady Kismet stated once She hopped off the branch. Her book was closed and held tight against Her chest. “Walk with me, Colm Arcadi.” “Aye, M’Lady.” We walked along a paved, well-worn path. Our footfalls against the stone were the only sounds for a while. I gave M’Lady the occasional nervous glance. She was tall, taller than me. Trying to guess what was in store was agony. Looking onward proved worse still. Flashes came back. The explosion. The Wyvern. The blood and pains and grief and crawling numbness as I had to watch-! “BRIDGET!” I blurted out. “Is she ‘live? Did it work? Is she…?” Lady Kismet didn’t turn to face me. Nor did She consult Her book. It was said everyone and everything’s destiny was written in its pages. Maybe I was expecting too much that a Human’s life was worth recording in Her book. Her silence was devastating. “…I cannot say.” Lady Kismet said after a moment. It was more than I could bear. My legs gave out under me. I was sitting in the middle of the road before I knew it. She was supposed to make it out. Bridget was supposed to live. What was the point of anything now? I’d as good as failed. “I cannot say…but you might find your answer elsewhere.” Lady Kismet gently said. She placed a hand on my shoulder when She leaned down. It was tender, but strong. Almost…reassuring. Or threatening. It was hard to say. “But the only way to know is to go forward.” “A-aye…aye, M’Lady. As ye say…” The landscape didn’t seem to change as we walked. Nothing got farther from us nor did we get close to anything. As expected of the Medius, of course. It was the middle road, so to speak. Neither a Heaven nor a Hell, only a place of isolation and contemplation until a soul was allowed somewhere. It terrified me. Lady Kismet seemed not to notice. She walked as if She knew where She was going. The silence was starting to make me more and more anxious with every step. “I…s’pose me bein’ here means…I’ve died?” I quietly asked. I braced myself for Her reply. There was a greater fear of upsetting a Goddess with stupid questions than if I had passed on or not. “Perhaps.” Lady Kismet answered simply. “An’ bein’ here means I…I havne done ‘nuff tuh get intuh one a’ the Heavens or the Hells?” “Perhaps.” “Shooda guessed as much. I’ve ne’er done anythin’ worthwhile with me life anyway. Deserve no more than it, really.” “There are those who’d think otherwise, I believe.” M’Lady suggested. She stopped and gestured toward the side of the road. I followed her hand and my heart nearly stopped. Again. The impulse to run was only tempered by M’Lady’s presence. Before I could even ask, in case She needed me to stay with Her, she smiled. “Go. You’ve time enough for this, at least.” I had to contain my excitement. I didn’t want to crash into them. I didn’t wasn’t to overwhelm them. As I got closer, I realized… I didn’t want to disappoint them either. It was too late. They were turning to face me. It felt like an eternity as they took my face in, and I theirs. I thought I’d never breathe again at the sight. “Mum? Dad?” “COLM!” they proclaimed together. Tears came as quickly as the hugs. Laughter and sobs continued on for ages. They felt so…solid. So real. Like they’d never left. It was a feeling that should have lasted forever. But we broke apart soon enough. “We…we’ve missed ye so much…” I choked out between sobs. “Liam an’ Molly an’…an’ e’eryone! Ye…ye were…” “Oh, oh Gods, we’ve missed you too, luv!” Mum chuckled with tears in her eyes. “Look at you! You…you’re so…oh Colm, my baby!” I didn’t realize how much I missed her grabbing my cheeks. She was so short, it was the only way she could “bring me down” to her. Her hands were so warm and small. The tears weren’t going to stop anytime soon. “It’s good tuh see ye ‘gain, Lunkhead.” Dad said as he pulled me into a hug. Strong, large, comforting. A little hard on the ribs. No one could say so much in one embrace like Dad could. “I’m…I’m so sorry, lad.” “Dad, it’s…it’s not yer fault I’m here!” “Isne it?” he said, pulling away so we could see each other eye to eye. Dad and I were the same height but…a part of me would always see him taller. Stronger. A better person. The tears held no bearing on those thoughts. “I was s’posed tuh be there by yer side. Tuh help ye. Ye were ne’er s’posed tuh…tuh be thrown intuh leadin’ a bloody fookin’ country. I wanted tuh stay. I wanted tuh, with all me heart. I…I let ye down an’…an’ there’s nothin’ I can do tuh make it up tuh ye…” The words caught in my throat. There was so much I wanted to say but couldn’t. Just looking at him, hearing him say those things…how was I supposed to respond? “Ye’ve been hurtin’ an’ it’s all me fault…” Dad whispered as he turned away. “No, no stop, it isne…Mum, Dad, it isne yer fault!” I tried to explain. Their smiles were gone, the tears stopped. I couldn’t bear to see them like this. I’d found them again. There was supposed to be happiness, not distress. “Ye coodne’ve known. No one could’ve! It’s not yer fault I’m…I’m just…broken inside!” I didn’t mean to say it. Not to them, not to anyone. No one was supposed to know. Yet…it came as such a large relief to finally say it. To finally say it to them. “Colm, don’t say that!” Mum stated in an instant. “You’re not broken! You’ve grown so much and done so well. You should be as proud of yourself as we are!” “PROUDA WHAT?!” I yelled. I didn’t mean to say it that way. The newfound panic in their eyes made me want to stop. To run. Like I always did. I didn’t have it in me to face them with this. But I kept talking anyway. “No matter what I tell me’self or others try tuh say, I’m not proud a’ meself. Or me life. I…I just canna like me’self…or what I do…what I did…an’…an’ I just…how can I be all that an’ not have somethin’ wrong with me?” Their silence said it all. I was wrong. This wasn’t the Medius. This was my own personal Hell. A hand on my shoulder scared the life -or death- out of me. The tension broke as I turned to see who was there. “You have had your say, Colm Arcadi. I must ask you to come now. Time is short.” M’Lady Kismet stated quietly. I turned to Mum and Dad, trying to say something. Anything. No words came. There were none I knew that could fill the void. “They may come as well, but only if they obey my words.” “Aye, M’Lady, a’ course.” Dad agreed, taking Mum’s hand. “I must ask you not to speak out of turn.” M’Lady began. “Nor will you step out of place. It is important that you do not interfere in any way.” “What…what are we tuh do, M’Lady?” I asked. Anything to pretend my parents weren’t thinking about their disaster of a son. Anything to keep me from thinking the same. “‘We’ are to witness a decision. A judgment will be made. A sentence given. A fate decided.” “Whose fate, M’Lady?” “We shall see, Colm Arcadi.” The landscape disappeared before our eyes. In its place stood temple columns and marble floors. Light shone through the glass and crystal that hung above. We were not the only ones wandering among the temple. They barely acknowledged us as we walked closer. Some bowed or nodded when they saw M’Lady Kismet. Others were quick to step out of Her path. No one wanted to get in the Queen of the Gods way. We were gestured to stop when we came closer to the center of the building. It seemed empty for the most part. A pedestal with a ball stood in the middle. It glowed softly as it hovered serenely beside a cloaked figure. “Is this who we’re witnessin’, M’Lady?” I whispered. The solemnity of the place reminded me of a library. Or a graveyard. “No, Ankou is here to witness as well.” She replied quietly. A quill appeared in her hand after She opened Her book. The sudden movement caught my eye by instinct. I turned away in embarrassment as M’Lady chuckled. “Only I can read from the book, Colm Arcadi.” “‘Pologies, M’Lady. I dinna mean-!” “My husband is far worse than you in that respect, I assure you. It is quite alright, Colm Arcadi.” “Er, ye can just call me ‘Colm’, M’Lady. That is, if ye like.” “You’ll forgive me if I can’t. There are many Colms. Many Arcadis. Your name keeps me in the here and now. You are not the first Colm Arcadi. You will not be the last.” M’Lady Kismet turned back to the center towards the ball and its pedestal. A new pair of figures had arrived. Ankou seemed to know them, as He only nodded His acknowledgment. “Do you recognize them?” M’Lady asked. It took a moment to identify the figure in white. His plaits were hard to make out but His bearing and His toga gave Him away. “That is M’Lord Caduceus.” I answered. The woman next to him was a mystery, however. She looked like no Goddess I knew. Nor did she seem like a Demi-Goddess. A child of the divine, perhaps? Maybe another mortal brought as a witness? “Who’s the woman with’im, M’Lady?” “The one who’ll be making a monumental decision today. You know her, Colm Arcadi. Look harder. Say her name.” Who the Hells is she? I wondered as I stared. Brown hair, in pigtails that looked a’shambles. Rather portly and a head shorter than Caduceus and Ankou both. Glasses, as well, as far as I could tell. I’d seen plenty of faces each day, how was I supposed to know who-?” “GOODS GODS IS THAT BRIDGET?!” I blurted out, louder than needed, when it hit me. The others, including M’Lady Kismet, glared at the interruption. “…sorry.” “Who’s Bridget?” Mum asked, trying to get a better look at her. “She’s me…she’s a Human. We were in the same accident. I doona understand how she’s here. Or how she’s so…tall?” “Makes sense tuh me.” Dad said nonchalantly. He only blanched when the three of us turned for an explanation. “Er, well, death is s’posed tuh be the great equalizer, isne it? Why should our souls be restricted tuh the heights we had in life?” “A very astute and philosophical observation, Cuculhain Arcadi.” “But what decision is she gonna make? Or canna we know that yet?” “She will choose if she wants to go home, and how, Colm Arcadi.” “I…I donna think ye need me here fer this. Her answer’s gonna be tuh go home.” I said, staring at Bridget. Gods, how hard it was to look at her face. There were more details, everything was easier to see. No guessing at obvious expressions. Like happiness. Anger. Relief. Sorrow. “She…she deserves tuh go home.” “Perhaps. But you will stay nonetheless.” “As ye wish, M’Lady.” A hush fell over the crowd as we all strained to listen. We needn’t have to, as Caduceus’ voice carried through the rotunda. “-need do is touch this ball to activate the spell.” M’Lord explained, concentrating on the orb. The glow and colors swirled and pulsed beneath His gaze. Do it. I thought. Touch the ball. Go home. Go back to the life I stole you from. “But…you said you couldn’t send anyone back.” Bridget said, focused on the sphere. Hypnotized, maybe? “Good Gods, e’en now she’s questionin’ the Gods…” I murmured. I gasped as the conversation went on. “An’ insultin’em. Great. Nice tuh know death hasne changed’er, at least.” “Oh, I think I like her already. Er, no offense, M’Lady.” Mum said after a moment. M’Lady Kismet merely nodded. She was too concentrated on the scene before us. Her quill scribbled steadily across the page. “How do you know her, Colm?” “I…she…she’s…” I tried to explain, but choked. The words refused to be said. Or maybe I felt sick just thinking about explaining to my parents. They already thought their son was a lost cause. Why make it worse? “-unlucky Tergaian who sits on the edge between life and death who would probably find themselves in Ankou’s realm soon enough anyway.” “Ach. Canna say I feel sorry fer the poor sod who’s gotta sacrifice’is soul.” Dad commented under his breath. “Must’ve done somethin’ awful tuh deserve this.” A cold chill ran down my spine at his words. Everything seemed to only get worse with the explanation. “W-who…who are you talking about?” I barely heard Bridget say. She didn’t need to ask. I already knew. “Lord Colm Matthew Alexander Brian Arcadi, Magistrate of Arcadia, High Lord of all Fathach, High Commander of her forces, Defender of her peoples, by the grace of the Gods, long may he reign.” I heard the gasps. Felt the stares. I couldn’t turn to look at my parents. I already knew what they thought and how they felt. They didn’t need me trying to deny it. “M’Lady, please! There must be some mistake!” I heard Mum say. She sounded so far away already. “Something we could do!” “It is not my choice to make, Samantha Willikins.” M’Lady stated. “It is not your mind to sway.” “Then take me ‘stead!” Dad said, stepping in front of me. He tried to step past the columns and into the center. He was ready to confront a pair of Gods on my account. My hand shot forward to stop him. Another hand was already there. “It is not your choice.” M’Lady stated as She pulled Dad back. Something had changed in an instant. M’Lady Kismet was…harder, somehow. Taller. More imposing. There was a storm brewing in Her icy glare. “It is not yourplace.” “We’re not ‘bout tuh let this happen!” “…stop.” “There must be some other way!” “Stop.” “He’s our son, we canna just-!” “STOP!” I couldn’t take it anymore. The glares, the gasps, the judging; I could have handled it. But hearing my parents defend me was…it was too much. “Bloody Soddin’ Hells, just stop! Ye doona e’en know what I did tuh deserve this! Just…just let it be!” I exclaimed, finally turning to face them. Mum and Dad were shocked. It was clear. But I swore I saw disappointment and shame as well. I know I would have felt the same. “I…I kidnapped Bridget from Earth. Knowing she coodne go home. Thinkin’…thinkin’ nothin’ uv’it ‘til she…’til she got hurt. An’ I still kept it a secret. Lied tuh’er. She woodne be’ere if it werne fer me. She’d still be ‘live if it werne fer me!” “Colm, baby, it’s-!” Mum tried to say. I turned from her before she could say anymore. This was my own personal Hell. My parents would know how horrible a son they had. “If me soul is what it takes tuh get’er home, than so be it.” I told M’Lady Kismet. She had returned to a calm demeanor. Her writing was frantic once again. “I…I woona…fight it. It’s…Gods ‘Bove, I wish there were more I could’ve done fer her befer…befer the end…” I don’t know what I expected really. A slow painful disintegration? A quick blast into nothingness, perhaps. Whatever I thought, the hands of my parents gripping my own wasn’t on the list. “We’re right with you, son.” Mum sniffed. “You won’t be alone.” “Ye…ye doona…” “Aye, Lunkhead. We do.” Dad confirmed. The entire temple had gone silent as we waited for Bridget to make the choice. Memories flashed in and out of my head. Liam. Molly. Tim. Mr. Livingston. Dorian. Annie. Oh Gods, Annie. I wanted to do better by her too. She deserved so much better than me. Maybe with me gone, she’d find someone worthy of her. “Is…is there still a chance he could live?” Annie as a last thought would have been a fine way to go. “Colm Arcadi has an even chance of living or dying. Just as you did.” Annie Malone, I love you dearly… “If that’s true…if it’s not certain he’ll…he’ll die…then I’ll have no part of it.” What? Bridget stepped away from the pedestal. Stepped away from M’Lords. She was walking away from her only chance. “What…what is she…?” I asked aloud. The shout died in my throat. My feet moved on their own, trying to keep pace with her. Bridget was already heading down a staircase by the time I stopped. “What did she just do?” “She made her choice, Colm Arcadi.” M’Lady Kismet stated, appearing at my side in an instant. “But why? Gods damn it, why did she…she could’ve been home by now! She’d ne’er have tuh see…see any a’ this ‘gain!” “A moment.” M’Lady said, gripping my shoulder. M’Lord Caduceus was now walking towards the staircase as well. He stopped and turned to stare at us. Or rather, at M’Lady Kismet. Caduceus paid me no mind. They exchanged nods before M’Lord made His way down the stairs. “Do you wish to know why she made her choice, Colm Arcadi?” “A’ course!” “Then you must come with me. I am sorry, but they cannot come this time.” M’Lady said once my parents caught up with us. “I’ll be right ba-OOF!” I tried to say, only to have Mum barrel right into me for a hug. “It was so good to see you again, Colm…” “Heh. It was Mum, it really was. But I’ll be right back. I promise.” Dad joined in before I could pull myself away. “Yer stronger than ye think, lad. We know ye are.” Dad whispered as he leaned in for the hug. “We love ye, Lunkhead.” It was comforting to have then again. I almost didn’t want to leave them. Almost. “I promise, I’ll be back.” I reassured them. M’Lady Kismet led me down the stairs. I gave one last glance back. “…I hope.” M’Lady Kismet made no comment. The only sounds for a while were our own footsteps. I began to doubt we were going anywhere. Like we were on a never-ending staircase. Another part of the Medius, perhaps. Bridget and M’Lord shouldn’t have been that far ahead of us. I was about to share my doubts when I finally heard the voices. “-give a straight answer, huh?” I heard Bridget ask. M’Lady held me back when I tried to go further. She put a finger to Her lips. We were only to witness again, it seemed. “So what happens to me now?” “We could ask my dear Kismet what fate awaits you, but I’m afraid she is…attending to business of her own.” M’Lord replied nonchalantly. It took only a second to realize what He meant. “Me?” I whispered to M’Lady. She nodded but kept Her attention on the voices. “No, I meant am I heading North or…you know what, never mind.” We continued to follow them in silence. The desire to run ahead and confront Bridget was strong. I was desperate to know why she did what she did. Or didn’t do. Not wanting to upset the Gods, Kismet especially, kept the urge down. “There was another reason, wasn’t there?” Caduceus asked, bringing sound into the world again. There was a moment of surprise as Bridget sat on the steps rather than continue down. “…Yes. Yes there was.” she said. “May I hear it?” Even M’Lady was leaning in to listen. I waited with bated breath, hoping against hope that Bridget wouldn’t be overly blasphemous. Swears and insults were sure to come quickly to her tongue. “Because…because if I did what you wanted me to do…if I took Colm away from his friends and family and the life he knew…just for my own needs…it’d be no different than what he did to me.” To think my heart couldn’t be broken by mere words… “Is that not what you wanted? To make Colm pay for his deed?” “I didn’t want revenge! I didn’t want to take his life! I just…I just wanted him to understand how I felt, you know? To know what he did was wrong! How would he learn that if he was…was eradicated from existence?” …Only to have it shattered twice within a moment. It was my turn to sit down. Everything was starting to feel numb again. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Not the voices, not my death, not my life. I just wanted to fade away and stop existing anyway. “Were you listening?” M’Lord asked after a while. I kept quiet, not wishing to distract the Gods from their conversation. I wished to be somewhere else, to drown in my sorrows in peace. I thought nothing more of it until M’Lord raised His voice. “I said, were you listening?” “A-aye, M’Lord.” I replied, jumping to my feet. I bowed as best I could despite the steep stairs. “And you heard everything?” “Aye. Aye, M’Lord…” “Do you know what must happen now?” It didn’t take much imagination to figure that out. I was dead. I was in the afterlife. It was, as Bridget had just put it, a matter of where I was headed. “Aye, M’Lord.” I replied, my eyes cast down in shame and fear. The Heavens were probably closed to me. One of the lesser Hells, at least, had me on their list. It would be a bit of a surprise if a greater Hell awaited me. Worse still would be wandering the Medius for an eternity. The Medius was always supposed to be the “waiting” place. Perhaps it would be my final punishment instead. Neither evil nor good enough to be anywhere else. “I deserve whate’er punishment I have comin’ tuh me, M’Lord.” There was an instant chill in the air. I thought I heard thunder crash around us. A particular loud crack made me jump. It was in that split-second that I was grabbed. Caduceus was pulling me closer. Whatever comparison I might have had was gone when we locked eyes. There was nothing that came close to the cold, hardened rage I saw in His face. “Yes, I quite think you do. Glad to know we can agree on that.” Caduceus hissed. A gentle touch from Kismet was the only thing to calm Him down. “But that can wait. For now. There are things you must do first.” “A’…a’ course, M’Lord. Anythin’!” I spluttered. My mouth was too dry to say much else. “Firstly, I want you to understand. What you witnessed here today. What your…‘friend’ did today, and why. And why what you saw and felt was more important than you might be thinking right now.” I nodded, too frightened to answer. “Secondly, and more importantly, I want you to remember this. All of this. Even if you think this was a dream.Remember.” Another frantic nod. “And lastly, if you can’t accomplish these simple tasks, the least you can do…is wake up.” He released his grip. I fell. I struggled in the darkness. Grasping for a ledge, gasping for air. I thought for sure I was going to fall forever. It truly was my own Hell. Until I saw the light. It was a struggle to move. To even open my eyes. But I did. And sitting there, waiting for me…was Bridget. Talking still took an effort. What few words I could get out were a jumbled mess. She reassured me I wasn’t dead, that I wasn’t being tortured. Yet the tears came anyway. “Im…sew srry, Burrjtt. I nair…nair mnt tuh…tuh…” It was hard to hear her, but I followed her advice. Sleep washed over me once more. Dreams kept their distance. I was glad of it. The days were like a slow blur. I still needed time to recover and everyone did their best to keep me company. But every time I glanced at Bridget, I knew I’d have to face the inevitable. No matter how much shame I felt. Even when we returned to Arcadia and the mansion, it was agony. We barely acknowledged the other’s existence. Kept to ourselves and away from each other. A lifetime seemed to pass before I found a need to leave. Even for a little while. Anywhere but stuck in that room with someone I couldn’t bear to face. Someone who hated me with all her heart and soul. Someone who had every right to be. Someone who…should have said something by now. “Maybe it isne her after all…” I said as the epiphany struck. How could I be so sure it was Bridget? I’d just had a…vision of sorts, from the Gods. Maybe. It could be just as possible that the Human in my home wasn’t who I thought they were. What I needed was a test. But what? “M’lord?” “Hmm? Sorry, what was that?” “I er, asked if ye needed any help, M’lord…” the man asked. I’d apparently wandered into a store without realizing it. “Oh, erm, sorry, I doona think…” I began to explain, until something caught my eye. There was a sale going on and plenty of the products covered a shelf. “Actually, can ye tell me what ye do with the, ah, defective or old cages?” It was brilliant. Simple but effective. It was sure to set Bridget off or at least prove something was wrong. I’d stake my life on it. Again. I was both wrong and right in the end. It didn’t exactly set her off, but it got her talking at least. Got us talking again. It hadn’t been easy. Those months had been as much a struggle for her approval as it had been for Fathach’s acceptance. “Caduceus fergive me, how could I have fergotten alla that?” I asked myself. “Um, forgotten what?” Bridget asked. “What, did you have a trippy-ass dream too? I barely remember mine, if it helps.” “I…we can…we need tuh talk ‘bout it later. When we’ve a roof o’er our heads an’ some real food in our bellies.” “I second that, at least!” one of the Humans yelled. Many laughed in agreement. Some were napping, or trying to, by leaning against each other. The trek didn’t take long. A half hour, give or take, thanks to my purposely slow pace. I swore it used to take longer as a kid. The path was the same: overgrown with life and rocks and sounds of the forest. I chuckled when I realized why it took longer back then. I remembered stopping every few meters to point out things and ask Dad questions. They were never fast trips. Castle Scáth appeared soon enough. Its stone walls and high towers were oddly welcoming after the week I had. It seemed only right to have at least one last day in the place as High Lord. I’m not sure what compelled me to head for the kitchens rather than the front door. Probably because I needed a real meal. Because I had 44 mouths who’d like the same. Or because I didn’t want to feel too presumptuous or self-important. Heh. So says the First King I thought as I rang the bell. It opened within a few minutes to reveal an irritated but lively Mrs. Applegate. She was the castle’s groundskeeper and unofficial curator. An unpleasant woman when something rubbed her the wrong way. I was glad to see her wrinkled, cranky face. “AH!” For the split-second it appeared before the door slammed in my face. My shock didn’t last long. “MRS. APPLEGATE IF’N YE DOONA OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR I’LL TEAR IT OFF ITS HINGES, I SWEAR TUH CADUCEUS!” I yelled, pounding against the solid oak door. “Gods be praised, yer alright!” Mrs. Applegate said as she opened the door again. She nearly knocked me off the stoop with her rugby tackle of a hug. “They said ye were in hidin’ an’ I thought ye’d hide out’ere but ye ne’er showed up so I thought the papers were lyin’ so no one…no one knew ye were…were…!” “I’m fine, Mrs. Applegate, I promise! But we’d like tuh get inside while we can…” “‘We’, M’lord?” she asked. She saw Bridget on my shoulder and made her usual sour face. Which turned to surprise when she saw the bundle under my arm. “Oh me Gods…are ye feckin’ kiddin’ me?” “Mrs. Applegate-!” “Are ye tryin’ tuh infest me castle now?!” “Mrs. Applegate, they’re not-!” “You know, I always wanted to live in a castle!” one of the Humans chimed in playfully. “Think it has a stacked larder?” “Must be freezin’ in the winter though.” “Naw, place like this must have a fireplace in every room.” “When can we move in?” Mrs. Applegate slammed the door in my face, again, with that last question. “Sigh. This is gonna be a long day, isne it?”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 17

dA link

Chapter 17: Overwhelmed

There were voices in the dark. They were hard to make out. Some whispered, some shouted. It was hard to tell who was saying what. They faded away the harder I tried to listen. It was almost like they knew I was eavesdropping. How was it eavesdropping if it was going on inside my head? The silence that followed was peaceful. Comforting. It was the most restful sleep I’d had in days. For a time. Aches and pains made themselves known soon enough. A concerto played against my skull. Stings pricked along my limbs. Whatever comfort I had felt was gone. But I was still too exhausted to move. Sounds eventually pierced the fog again. The rustling of leaves and the calls of birds made themselves known. A shudder ran down my spine at the chilly breeze. Gods I hope I’m not in someone’s garden I thought to myself. Parts of me were trying to wake up. Some more slowly than others. Don’t need that picture in the papers now. I groaned as I tried to move. Everything was either aching or stiff or both. There was a temptation to fall back asleep and try again later. Nothing seemed important. The world could wait. At least I thought so. “-nd here we have a very rare species.” Until I heard the voice. “The Scrufficus Arcadicus. Known for its unnecessarily tall stature, unkempt appearance…” the voice continued happily. “…and thunderous snoring.” “…I doona snore…” I mumbled. Smiling hurt, but I couldn’t help it. “Yes, you do.” the voice insisted. “Like a bear with a cold ate a rock tumbler.” “Oh, so no worse than ye do.” “…I do not snore.” “Oh aye, ye do.” “No I don’t.” “Like yer tryin’ tuh warn ships ‘bout sharp rocks an’ shallow waters.” “…The other thing the Scrufficus Arcadicus is known for is their atrocious and sometimes delusional hearing.” I laughed. It hurt, but it was worth it. Hearing her voice again was a relief. The snark and bickering was something I’d sorely missed. It was almost enough to take the aches away. Almost. “It’s good tuh see ye ‘gain, Runt.” I said once I willed my eyes open. It was great to see her again. It honestly, truly was. Her hair was loose and in a shambles, her clothes worn and tattered in places. Her glasses were missing, I’d noticed, when her face came into focus. The bag she wore was in shreds and kept together by some unknown force. Bridget was a damned sight better than I could have ever hoped. “You look like shit, Scruffy.” she said with a smile. “Heh. I feel like…like…” I tried to quip, but couldn’t. The tears were too hard to hold back anymore. “Yer…yer ‘live…yer ‘live an’ alright an’…an’…” “Hey, hey…it’s okay, I’m okay…” she said in a cracked but comforting tone. “You don’t have to…look, stop, or I’m gonna start…sniff start cry…sniff…ing oh goddamnit Scruffy!” It felt good to laugh and cry. Just knowing Bridget was alive and well, seeing her with my own two eyes, was a weight off my mind. It put my heart at ease, if such a thing was possible. Everything felt light and bright again. It took several more minutes of sobbing and chuckles before either of us could talk. “…I’m sorry. So, so sorry…” I began eventually. “Dude, it’s not your fault. Hell, how were you supposed to know that one stone could do a mass Jump like that?” she countered. Bridget held up what was left of her bag. “Good thing I wasn’t holding on to it, huh?” “That’s not what…Good Gods, aye, canna imagine what yer hand would look like after that.” “Assuming I’d have a hand left in the first place.” “I mean…I’m sorry I coodne reach ye last night…that I yelled befer the…the ‘splosion…that…that I’ve been draggin’ me feet ‘bout…’bout anythin’. ‘Bout e’erythin’.” “Stop. You…you were freaking shot last night, I’m surprised you did what you could. You’re right though, you shouldn’t have yelled. But…but if I learned anything this week, it’s that…it’s going to take time to fix this whole damn mess.” Bridget said. She sat down and made herself comfortable. “Second worst week of my life, I swear to god.” “I can guess yer very worst…” I muttered, looking away in shame. It wasn’t a hard guess to make. Those first few days here, with me, had to be the worst of her life. Especially when she found out the secret…no, the truth I hadn’t told her. I didn’t deserve her as a friend. I didn’t deserve her as…anything. But she still wanted to know me when even I couldn’t stand myself. She deserved so much more than I could ever possibly give her. I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t try though. “…No. No, no you really couldn’t guess…” she said absently. She was fiddling with something on the ground when I glanced her way. “But if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking…I’d say it’s dropped to third worst.” “Oh aye, this week’s been all the Hells fer ye from what I’ve been hearin’. The bloody soddin’ Hells were ye thinkin’ takin’ on a spell hound all on yer own? With a feckin’ lil’ umbrella no less?” “What was I going to do, just sit there and-! Wait, how do you know about that? Did it really make the front page or something?” “Dunno. Heard the story from the two old fellas at the Rathcullan Arms.” I explained. “I was only a few hours behind ye.” “What do you-?” “Trackin’ spell onna compass an’ a Jumper Stone. Tim cast’em at Auntie Mel’s. I think I used up me stone last night though.” I said, trying to chuckle. I stopped when I noticed her wiping her eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry, I dinna-!” “You…you’ve been trying to find me?” she said through a sob. “This whole…this whole time?” “A’ course! Ye think I woodne try tuh find me best friend? Woodne move the Heavens an’ Hells ‘til I found ye safe an’ sound? If…if anythin’ had happened tuh ye…” I let the sentiment drift off, not wanting to think about what could have happened. What almost happened only a few hours ago. I tried to move my arm, so I could offer a hand for support. Just because I couldn’t give her a hug at her size didn’t mean I couldn’t try. “No! Wait! Don’t move!” Bridget yelled, frantically waving her arms at…well, it looked like she was waving at the trees themselves. I was confused as she turned her attention back to me. “Colm, listen, you need to just…notmove. For now. Okay?” “Er, not that I canna move much anyway…why?” “Because…well…you’re kind of…a giant target right now.” “What?!” I yelped. Without moving, I attempted to look around. All I could see were tree trunks and sunlight. “By who?! Why?!” “…I’ll explain but you have to promise not to do anything rash, alright?” “Not do anythin’ rash? I’m a sittin’ feckin’ duck’ere!” “Do you promise?” “I doona think I’m comf’table sayin’-!” “COLM. Do. You. Trust. Me?” It was her stern voice. I hated her stern voice. I’d heard more severe attempts from others and never came close to blinking. But with her it was instant. A mix of guilt and regret always made me back down when she used her voice. It didn’t help it always made me feel like an idiot. Or a rowdy child being punished. Even if I was acting like it. Didn’t mean I appreciated the tone. I had to concede. “Aye.” It wasn’t a lie. It would never be a lie. The least I could do was trust her. I still needed to rebuild her trust of me. If it was ever possible. “And you won’t get mad after I explain?” “…Aye. No gettin’ mad. Now…why am I a target?” Bridget looked around at the tree line. She waved at someone or something, trying to stop them from coming closer. They were out of my sight for the moment. Bridget needed a deep breath before she began. “See…when we, I mean the other people in that cage and I, and well, obviously you, too, Jumped…here…turns out we ended up in a…Human forest…uh, village? I guess? Not sure what else to call it.” “I’m with ye so far.” “And, um, giants aren’t a uh, very common sight in these parts. Rare, even. So rare seeing one pop out of thin air kinda puts them…on edge.” “Aye, s’pose it would.” “So there’s at least a dozen…or three…people hiding with ah, homemade bows and arrows. And a couple of dust bombs.” “Makes sense. Ye’d wanna distract someone long ‘nuff tuh let others get ‘way or just ‘noy’em ‘nuff tuh run ‘way. I still doona see why-?” There was a moment as Bridget fidgeted with her hands. Adjusting her bag and looking at everything but me. “The uh…the arrows and bombs…” she said, clearly nervous. “…they, uh, they have Gressleweed on them. Or inthem.” I almost panicked. I admit it. Gressleweed was powerful in even a small dose to give me a bad reaction. A dozen or so splinters wasn’t something I was looking forward to experiencing. “…Wait. Gressleweed isne poisonous…” I said once I calmed down. “It’s only bad if-!” “If…someone told them you were allergic to it…” I was dumbfounded. It was like a smack in the back of the head with a brick. “WHY THE BLOODY SODDIN’ HELLS DID YE GO AN’ DO THAT FER?!” I erupted, promise forgotten. Maybe if I made a run for it I could avoid most of the projectiles. Pretty sure I had spare syringes in my backpack. Could I get to them before a reaction? “BECAUSE THEY WERE READY TO CUT YOUR THROAT LAST NIGHT ALRIGHT?!” Bridget countered, jitters replaced with her own fury. “TELLING THEM YOUR ALLERGY WAS A BETTER BARGAIN FOR YOUR LIFE!” “OH AYE! ‘CUZ A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH IS BETTER, I S’POSE?!” “AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CHANCE NOW, YOU JACKASS! DO YOU THINK I WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DEATH AGAIN?!” “WHAT?” “WHAT?” “…What do ye mean ‘gain’?” I asked once we calmed down. I took it as a good sign an allergic reaction hadn’t happened yet. Maybe the snipers were standing down. Or waiting for a better shot. “When…that night with…and your…our coma…things…” Bridget said slowly. She needed time to get herself together before she continued. “It…it was…if I…you almost…” “Oh…oh, no. No, stop, doona…doona think that…it wasne yer fault, I shooda waited fer…I shoodne e’er brought ye…brought ye here…” “That’s not…okay, I mean, yes on that last part, but I don’t mean…it’s hard to explain.” I deserved that. I’d said it to her too many times. And I wasn’t about to push the issue. “Well…whate’er happens now, at least I’ll die knowin’ yer alright…” I murmured. “…Though that’s ruined somewhat knowin’ me corpse will be found havin’ pissed me pants, ‘parently.” “Oh, ha! No, you didn’t wet yourself…I think.” Bridget chuckled. “That was the um, other thing: when you fell, you knocked over their water supply.” “Oh, thank the Gods!” “…” “Er…I mean…oh. That ‘splains that. Think they’ll let me fix it ‘stead a’ killin’ me?” “Frankly, that still remains to be seen.” a new voice stated. I didn’t dare move my head to see. The owner of the voice moved into view soon enough. “But yes, we’ll ‘let’ you ‘fix it’.” She was an older woman, just barely shorter than Bridget. Slim on the verge of starvation. A bird skull covered her head and one end of her staff had bramble thorns attached. It seemed her clothes were made from fur or skins as well. “I ‘pologize deeply fer any disturbance I’ve caused, ma’am. It wasne me intention an’-!” “HA! You think I care about your ‘intentions’?” she spat out acidly. “All I care about are your actions, boy. And they haven’t exactly shown the best side of you, have they?” “…I like tuh think me backside is one a’ me better features, really.” I tried to chuckle. It died quickly when I saw her face, however. “Quick to anger and slow to sympathy, more like.” she continued steadily. “The only reason I haven’t had you shot yet is because I still haven’t decided if it’s worth having to dispose of a corpse so large.” “Would ye believe that’s the second time this week I’ve been told that?” “…The Wyvern cave?” Bridget chimed in eventually. “The Wyvern cave.” I confirmed. It took a moment to realize something important. “Wait…ye dinna tell’em who I am, did ye?” “I…didn’t think name dropping would help at the time.” she said awkwardly. “I didn’t want to seem like you were a threat. Or at least, not a bigger threat than they already thought you were.” “Have you been keeping something from us, child?” the old woman asked. A pair of…guards, or so I assumed, appeared beside her. They both held spears and wore skull helmets. “Why should his name matter?” “It…it doesne matter.” I interjected. “But ye woodne want yer part a’ the woods full a’ other…giants lookin’ fer a missin’ person, would ye? ‘Specially a dead one, right?” It wasn’t much. I knew that. It was the farthest I could reach at a moment’s notice. It probably didn’t hurt that Dorian would raze the forest to find me again. The elder took a moment to consider my word nonetheless. She stepped forward, paying no heed to her guards. I closed my eyes and braced myself when she raised her staff. “Ow! Oi, what was-?!” I yelped when I felt a pinch on my chin. The elder was inspecting a green-tipped splinter. Or rather, a Human-sized crossbow bolt. “Oh. Heh. Guess Harita made’er shot then.” “…What’s your name?” she asked almost absently. I braced myself when I felt her staff move along my cheek. As the stick touched my skin, I winced. It was highly likely the thorns were still poisonous. The bramble barbs faced skyward as she traced my Caduceus Lines. I kept my eye on it the whole time. “Colm, ma’am. Pleased tuh make yer ‘quaintance, Miss-?” “Einin. Why should your name matter to me?” “It shoodne. Just…thought knowin’ me name might keep ye from killin’ me. Harder tuh kill someone when ye know their name. Right?” I replied. It was the only thing that came to mind quickly enough. Mostly because it was the truth. Or so I hoped. I couldn’t help glancing Bridget’s way for a quip. “Yer manners are ‘trocious, Runt.” “Could be worse, Scruffy. I could’ve stumbled like a drunk over a community’s only water tank OH WAIT.” she replied jokingly. Gods, how I’d missed her. “You’re hiding something. I don’t like secrets and I don’t like liars.” Einin said, tapping her staff on the ground. “But you care about her, do you not?” “She’s one a’ me best friends. I’d do anythin’ fer’er, ma’am.” “Good. She should provide proper incentive then.” “HEY!” One of the guards tried to grab Bridget. She was quick to give him a smack. But she was too busy nursing her hand to notice his second attempt. Something snapped. Several things happened at once. My hand rushed to create a wall between Bridget and her assailant. He and his cohort were up in arms. Bridget had her own fists up and ready for a fight. I was too focused on Einin’s face to realize she had her staff raised like a hammer. The thorns were ready to pierce me if needed. “Lay a finger on’er like that ‘gain an’ I swear I’ll break e’ery Gods’damned bone in yer bodies.” There was a tense moment as everyone stared each other down. “I am fully capable of making my own death threats Scruffy, thank you.” Bridget reprimanded softly. She did, however, attempt to crack her knuckles threateningly. “You heard the man. Back. Off.” “Quick to anger. As I said.” Einin stated as she made her guards move away. “Quick tuh defend, more like.” “At least that ‘display’ before was genuine after all. Didn’t think either of you had it in you to act so well.” “We’ll take that as a compliment.” Bridget chimed in. “Your giant is well-trained, child.” “He’s not my-!” “I am NOT well-trained.” I huffed, now that my rage was fading away. “I’m exceptionally trained, thank ye very much.” “That…was…BRILLIANT!” The hoots and hollers were unexpected, but they helped relieve the tension at the moment. Everyone was confused until Einin looked away from my face and towards the rest of me instead. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!” Einin screamed. I tried to pretend it didn’t hurt to hear. It was a common occurrence with Bridget despite the numerous reminders of how close she was to my ear. “GET OFF HIM RIGHT NOW!” Wait. “Him”? “But Granny Neen! When’s the next time we’ll ever see a-?” one of the voices tried to argue. “GET DOWN OR SO HELP ME I’LL TAN YOUR HIDES MYSELF DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN!” There were collected sighs and groans as the voices all conceded defeat. It came as a genuine surprise to feel movement along my back. Even more so as a few figures slid down along my shoulder to the ground. I held back a chuckle when I realized they were children. “Now get back inside before I change my mind about beating you lot silly.” Einin growled, pointing with her staff. “Off you get!” The trio of children was slow to follow her advice. It wasn’t hard to notice them trying to get final looks at the “big’un”. One even waved before they were shooed away. “There’s a well your size, not far from here. Not far for you, anyway.” Einin explained once the kids were gone. “Your…friend stays here. Tristan will show you the way.” Tristan turned out to be the same man who tried to grab Bridget. His uneasiness showed as I glared at him. “…Bridget ye doona-!” I began, but she stopped me with a gesture. “If it keeps everyone from killing everyone else, I’ll stay. For now.” she said. “But try anything again and I swear you’ll wish you had him to deal with instead of me.” “Grab the water, fill the tank, then you can go on your way.” Einin continued. “Hopefully without any more incidents.” “Does that mean I can move now or do I still have tuh worry ‘bout yer fellas in the trees?” Einin used her staff to raise a signal of some kind. She gestured for me to move after a moment. It was rough at first. Everything still felt stiff from the night before. Laying on the rocky forest floor didn’t help either. Groaning and stretching was needed right away. After I had to pull my hand out of the ground, at least. “…Were ye tryin’ tuh tie me down while I was ‘sleep?” I asked as I pulled the thread and pegs out. “Yeah, they tried to pull a Gulliver but there wasn’t enough rope apparently.” Bridget supplied. “What’s a ‘Gull-’?” “I’ll explain later.” “Bridget, do ye still have a pen or pencil in yer bag?” I asked once the kinks were worked out. “Most were lost when the bag erupted.” she said, searching through the tattered bag. “Or stuck in pockets I can’t reach right now. I wish I knew if my sketchbook survived or not…” “It did! I have it. They found it last night after yer lot Jumped.” “Colm, I swear to god if you’re playing with my emotions right now, I’ll-!” “It’s right here. Promise.” I said while I dug it out of my front pocket. She took it when I offered and looked it over, just in case. I laid the memo pad on the ground beside her as well. “Listen, do me a favor an’ tell Tim we’re alright.” “…Colm. That’s paper. Not a phone.” “Paper with a spell that’ll let ye write tuh each other in real time.” “Oh, awesome, instant messaging. Got it.” “…What?” “I’ll explain later. Again. Go fetch that water already before they decide to make good on their threats.” Bridget had a point. As much as I hated to admit it. Tristan and Einin were talking until they noticed me watching. I made slow, grand gestures as I retrieved my bandana and explained how he would travel. They were reluctant to move closer when I offered an open palm. “If it helps, with ye on me shoulder yer closer tuh me jugular, arne ye?” I suggested. Memories of that night in the castle came to mind. Laying helpless from an allergic reaction as I waited for the ointment to work. Bridget had been joking at the time, but the thought of her slitting my throat stuck with me. The day might still come when someone gets the same idea. The day may come when Bridget does it herself. I may still hope it happened. The thoughts disappeared when I felt little fingers dig into my skin. It wasn’t startling, but I still growled. Tristan ended up gripping tighter when I stood up. The stroll was awkward, to say the least. Tristan only talked when it was needed. Mostly barking directions. “Ye doona need tuh yell, me ear’s right there.” I had to remind him. It was odd. Knowing Bridget was alright, that the chase was at an end…it was a huge relief off my mind. The world didn’t seem as hopeless. The air felt cooler, tasted and smelled sweeter. Nothing seemed scarier than never seeing her again. Nothing could have assuaged my guilt had I failed. “There it is!” Tristan yelled, earning a disgruntled huff. I was ready to remind him again but stopped once I saw the well. Or what was left of it. The stones were half-fallen and worn by nature. Various plants grew among the cracks. I recognized most of them. They were harmless, thankfully, and not likely to contaminate the well. A squirrel scampered away as I got closer. The dilapidated bucket still hung from a rusted hook. “This…this is yer well?” I asked. A look down the shaft proved there was still water. “This is yer well.” “Yes.” Tristan confirmed nervously. His grip was tight whenever I moved. The look down the well almost made him pierce my skin. “This…is YER well.” “I just said-!” The laughter probably scared Tristan more than my presence could. His little nails were practically embedded at this point. Wiping away my tears made him flinch. It was several more minutes before I caught my breath. “Oh Gods…oh Gods, sorry ‘bout that…” I explained once I composed myself. “I dinna…dinna think…” “It’s not much but it’s the only well we have.” Tristan said with a huff. “Heh. That not what I mean.” I knew this well. On closer inspection, the area started looking familiar too. I’d been here several times before, when I was a kid. Whenever he had the time, Dad and I would camp nearby for the weekend. Or as part of my Faol Scout training. This well was our water source too. The first time we’d come out there, Molly and Liam came as well. Dad and I had a great time…until we thought Molly had gone missing. She’d gone on one of her infamous “treks” and showed up with an armful of plants and animals she’d found. It was the weekend we found out Liam and nature outside of our back garden didn’t get along. It still ended up being one of the best trips of my life. As the years went on, we camped less and less. Mostly because Dad was called away at the last minute more and more. I tried not to mind when it happened. He had his work. A whole nation depended on him. He had chances to make it up to me…up to us later. Didn’t help make us miss him less. Make me miss him less. Mum did her best when it happened. Camping in the back garden with all three of us were great times too. She never risked being too far in case something happened. Forest trips weren’t for her. Mum told better ghost stories than Dad could anyway. Sleep was harder to find after one of Mum’s infamous tales. Sleepless nights were worth it if it meant spending time with her. I wondered if Elias, Elma, and Ellie would be up for a camp-out. The question was put on hold when I arrived back at the village. Settlement? Even without any visible homes it seemed the right word to use. A large group of Humans were talking to each other. Or more accurately, yelling at each other. I only caught bits and pieces of their conversation at first. “No way am I staying in some damn forest-!” “I have children at home, I can’t be-!” “My hidey-hole is well stocked compared to this shit!” “Harold’s probably worried sick to death!” “I can’t survive out here! They don’t have the medicine I need!” “GUYS ENOUGH! I CAN’T HEAR YOU ALL AT ONCE!” Bridget yelled. It was enough to keep them down to a low grumble. “Look, I’ll ask him when he gets back but I can’t guarantee anything!” “Ask who what, Ru-Bridget?” I asked, setting Tristan on the ground. He was quick to rush off and find his partner. Einin stood by the fallen water tank. She was overseeing others sorting out various bits and pieces. It looked like she was trying to salvage what water she could. She barely nodded in acknowledgement when I set the bucket down. “Guess what? I know where we are after all!” “Somewhere near Castle Scáth.” Bridget said when she reached me. “How’d ye-?” “Stryfe told me. Wrote me. You know what I mean. It took some convincing to keep him from Jumping here with a freaking legion. He is extremely pissed at you, by the way.” she explained, gesturing toward the enchanted notepad. The group of Humans started to advance only to stop when Bridget frantically waved them away. “We…also have a bit of a situation.” “They doona have tuh leave if they doona wanna.” I stated automatically. My focus was on fixing the tank. I waited until everyone was far enough away before setting it upright. It needed a good cleaning before anything. A quick Cleanse spell would do the job. Anything to avoid making eye contact just then. “An’…an’ that goes fer ye tuh.” “…What?” “Ye…ye doona have tuh come back with me. Ye…ye ne’er had tuh stay with me…” It wasn’t a lie. It took almost losing her to notice what choices she had. Bridget didn’t have to stay with me. Or around any Tergaian. I would miss her with all my heart. But I’d rather her be happy. Any way she could. Even if I never saw her again. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Though I wouldn’t miss the yelling. “Are you trying to pull this shit again? You think I don’t know that?!” Bridget said, taking a second to actually kick me. I barely felt it but the sentiment got through. “IF or WHENEVER I decide to skip out, you’ll know for damn sure! And you won’t have any say in the matter! And you constantly bringing it up isn’t helping either of us, you overgrown jackass!” “But ye have more choices then ye e’er had befer!” I exploded. “Ye’ve got…ye’ve got this place’ere or that house in Cork or…or…or so many places that have more Humans than Tergaians! Ye’d ne’er have tuh deal with us…withme…’gain…” “I know! And that hasn’t changed my mind! I have a LOT of reasons for not…not…” Bridget needed a moment to compose herself. She kept turning away from me only to look back. Just as I was about to tell her she didn’t need to explain, she spoke up. “I…think it’s time I told you the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” “…Bridget, ye doona-!” “Not right now. Later. With less ears around. Anyway, that’s not the problem. The problem is nobody wants to stay here!” “WHAT?!” Einin and I exclaimed in unison. “What do you mean ‘no one wants to stay’?” Einin asked before I could. “No one has to leave with this brute if they don’t want to.” “Aye, that’s right.” I interjected, ignoring the remark. “No one’s makin’ ye leave folks, least uv’all me.” “Not that he’d get far if he tried. You’re safe here.” Einin promised. She tapped her staff on the ground as a warning. Or a signal. I still wasn’t sure. “No offense lady, but I’ve got a fully stocked hide-away back in Tiptoft where I don’t have to worry about freezing to death in the winter!” one of the group stated as they got closer. “Can you say the same thing?” “And I’m not leaving my children behind!” another said. “I’d rather stay a pet with them than ‘free’ without them!” “Ernie needs someone to remind him of his pills!” said yet another. He started to fiddle with his hands as we looked at him. “I…I live in a house and the poor bloke’s a nice guy but forgets his meds sometimes. I make sure he remembers…” The words caught in my throat as they all tried to make their cases at the same time. It was unbelievable! Unexpected, to say the least. “SO ANYWAY…” Bridget shouted above the fray. The crowd settled down with a gesture from her. “They’d very much appreciate it if they could hitch a ride with us.” “Hitch…a…ride…” “To, uh, the castle if we’re close enough…we could always sort out the particulars later.” The confusion must have shown on my face. The group started looking anxious. Even Bridget looked on edge. They were waiting for an answer. What was I supposed to say? “I…I meant what I said.” I eventually stated. “I woona take anyone who doesne wanna leave. So…so while I’m fixin’ this, the ‘lotta ye make sure ye know what ye wanna do. An’, er, please do a headcount. Just tuh make sure.” I tried to distract myself by cleaning the water tank. The inside needed more than one Cleanse spell before it looked suitable. Looking at the grime made me wish I remembered more household spells. Most of the ones from Home Economics were too weak from lack of practice. It would have to be another thing to learn when I…when we got back. I wasn’t going to bother cleaning the outside. There were patches of mud and leaves attached along the exterior. It didn’t take a genius to guess it was to dull the once bright color. Made sense. Couldn’t have an obvious “landmark” or target for others to spot. That was when I saw the name tag. “Einin, ma’am?” I asked, clearing dirt and grime away from the label. It was barely there, but it was enough to make out the handwriting. “How…how’d ye come ‘cross this?” “Does it matter?” she asked. “Aye, that it does.” “It was…a gift. From one of you.” Einin began. “Happened when I was younger. Was on a visit to the well, fell in. A man your size was there for some reason. Helped me out. Decided we needed the tank more than he did. Took us a month or more to realize he wasn’t coming back for it. Or us. Been using it to collect and keep rainwater mostly. Satisfied?” “Do ye…do ye remember what he looked like?” “Tall, about your height. Red hair, blue eyes. Had those same cheek lines like you. Muttonchops too, I think they’re called. Nose was different though.” “Aye, we got our hair an’ noses from Mum, he used tuh say.” I mumbled as I took in the handwriting. “I canna believe Dad ne’er told us ‘bout this…” It took all I had to finish fixing everything. They’d remade the funnel and pulley system while I was gone. I replaced everything as instructed, even the makeshift steps they used to reach the top. They tested the spout and make-shift hoses just in case. There was an odd joy to see them so happy to have water again. After two more trips to the well it was almost overflowing. Then there was the other problem at hand. “An’…ye all wanna go back?” I asked as I looked the crowd over. They’d been huddling nearby as I worked. They either nodded or responded with a yes. “No one wants tuh stay’ere?” A few head shakes and a “no” here and there. “No one at all?” They shook their heads again. “An’ ye know yer not bein’ ferced tuh come, right?” Nods all around. “An’ there’s…how many uv’ye?” “43!” they shouted in unison. “43…” Bridget seemed nervous as I glanced at her. Was it from the situation or from wanting to be out of here? Was she worried about how I was taking it or…? “I realize it’s a lot of people, Scruffy…” she said eventually. “Maybe if everyone walked instead of…?” “No, no, it’s maybe a quarter-hour by foot tuh the Castle grounds from here. We’re better off with me doin’ alla the heavy liftin’.” I replied, reaching for my backpack. “I just…need tuh figure out how we’re gonna do this.” “Maybe if we went in groups?” someone from the…Good Gods, the group of 43 Humans. “Take a couple of trips?” “Erm, no offense, but I woodne feel right leavin’ anyone behind in case somethin’ happened.” My mind wracked with possible solutions. Would I be able to carry them all in my arms? Would they hold on for long if they needed to? Why didn’t I have pockets? Pockets solved everything. Most things. Maybe if I somehow had the toy wagon we had as kids. A wagon in the forest would be bumpy though. Too bumpy. Maybe if I had a box or something with handles. What good was there being a Faol Scout if I couldn’t-! “I got it!” I blurted out. “I just need somethin’ flat an’ strong.” I rifled through my bag, looking for something that’d do the trick. Almost everything that looked viable was too small and spell-locked. No way to Enlarge them to the size I needed. Except for my day planner. Leather-bound and thick, it was the only thing that could do the job. It was a somber thought as I slipped my family picture safely away. I’d have to tell Bridget eventually who was behind the explosion. It would have to wait until later. It took a few minutes to secure it but I had a makeshift bag in no time. It was one of the helpful tricks our scout master taught us early on. If we needed a way to carry things, we could turn an extra long-sleeved shirt into a sling. The only one I had was the one off my own back, but it would do. It needed a quick Cleanse and Enlarge to make room for the planner. The book would serve as a solid bottom for those who would ride inside. I’d still have a hand holding it up nonetheless. I wasn’t about to take the risk with so many people in my hands. Literally. Bridget seemed ready to chance it. “Dude, I’m taking a shoulder.” she said as I waited for her to get in with the others. “I’ve got questions and I’m not in the mood to yell them.” “…Should I trust you’ll not come back?” Einin asked. She had tried her best to persuade the 43 Humans with no success. Her irritation was obvious. “Ma’am, I canna come back tuh a place I’ve ne’er been.” I left it at that. There was a queasy feeling as I walked away, 43 Humans in a makeshift carrier under my arm. An expectation of being shot from behind made itself known. Of dying in the forest right then and there. That fear was going to stay with me when I was king, wasn’t it? “So, uh, did the coronation already happen or…?” Bridget asked eventually. It was an odd comfort to have her familiar weight on my shoulder again. “No, no, we’ve still a few more days.” I replied. “No king a’ Fathach yet.” “What day is it anyway? I’ve lost track a bit.” “Erm…it’s the 27th. Happy Birthday, Bridget.” “Ha! Some birthday, am I right?” “Heh. I s’pose. 23 now though. How does it feel?” “Like I better have another dream about smacking Caduceus tonight to make up for this week.” “Oi, that isne-!” I started, but stopped in my tracks. Something suddenly came to mind at hearing His name. Pieces were put together as I struggled to remember something. Something…important. “Fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that.” Bridget said after a moment. “It’s something stupid from when…when we…” “We were in a coma?” I whispered. “Uh, yeah…actually…” “Ye mean ye had that dream tuh?!”

[ffhseries]

FFH: TTA - Chapter 13

dA link

Chapter 13: Quiet Conversations

What was the point anymore? I’d been Jumping for days. Always hours behind Bridget. Always too late to be of any real help to her. If I was even any help to her. Of course you weren’t. You can’t even help yourself. How are you supposed to be of any use to anyone else? The Jumper stone was taking longer to recharge. It was taking more out of me than I wanted to admit. Hunger and exhaustion were hand in hand after each Jump. A carriage nearly hit me when I landed near a street corner. I’d barely dodged out of the way in time. A part of me wished I hadn’t. The tuck shop didn’t have much, but I bought as much sugar and caffeine as I could hold. “What yer major?” the counter clerk as he rang up the sweets and pop. “Sports Med’cine…” I mumbled absently. The thought of shoving everything down my throat was overtaking everything else. “Dinna think that needed an all-nighter session but what do I know? Ye’ve time ‘nuff fer the library, at least.” “Li…br’y?” “‘Cross the street lad, remember? Ye need more sleep if’n ye canna remember e’en that.” Pleasantries were exchanged before I claimed my bag and left. I was ready to find a park or a bench but once I caught sight of the library I stopped. It was large and impressive. Probably one of the higher-end university buildings. There were at least three floors to get lost in. To get lost in…and find some quiet. Who would expect to see the High Lord in a school library after all? The interior was certainly posh, that was for certain. It took me a moment to figure out where I should go or what to look for. A textbook? No, they’d want a specific name or edition. I couldn’t pretend to guess without looking suspicious. Or worse, coming off as a terrible student. The woman at the checkout waited patiently as I tried to think. “I’m sorry, I’m tryin’ tuh remember the name…” I stalled desperately, reaching for the first title that came to mind. Most of Mum’s books popped up, but I felt that might be a bit too obvious. The perfect one hit me suddenly. “Do ye…do ye have ‘The Travels a’ Bickerstaff’ by Lemuel Drapier?” The librarian double-checked before she wrote down the book number and directed me to the second floor Classics section. I was grateful for the solitude. The few students there were nowhere near the spot I chose. It was nice to find the book and settle in. It was a cover of course. I had plenty of questions I needed to ask Tim. Writing notes for a book in a library seemed less conspicuous than trying to do so in public. Less eyes, more privacy. I began to wander in my own thoughts as I waited for Tim to respond to my note. The memories, thankfully, weren’t as painful this time around. Mainly because they had to do with Annie. Beforethe lamp. The first time I met Anastasia Malone was on my way to rugby practice. I was worried about team captain tryouts and last year electives when she pulled me into a classroom. It was one of the Home Economics rooms and the smells of something freshly baked hung in the air. She needed a taste tester and I was the first person she saw. I didn’t think she knew who I was. Or if she did she didn’t care. Annie had been more concerned with her Shepherd’s Pie. For one brief moment I thought I’d been poisoned, since she was attempting the family recipe. The only time I’d had the Relax Inn’s Shepherd’s Pie was shortly after I’d found I was allergic to Gressleweed. This one was delicious even without the potentially fatal weed. She thanked me with a kiss on the cheek before running off to help the Drama teacher. That kiss, and that pie, convinced me to take up Home Ec. and Drama. I never regretted it. Especially when I ended up being her station partner in Home Ec. And was cast as the Narrator in the school’s production of “The Lost Knight of Buckshire”. Annie made that last year of secondary school fantastic. I got to know her better. Know myself better. We became friends, best friends. Something I’d missed when Dorian graduated the year before and entered the Guard. Liam and Molly were better at making new friends than I. They never had to worry about being let down or taken in or anything like that. If they did, I couldn’t tell. They’d never mentioned it and I was too much of a coward to broach the subject. Friends were harder with me. Teammates were easy to get along with, sure. But I’d always felt awkward being invited out or to a party. I’d find a spot, people watch, then find an excuse to leave early. Or just sneak out and hope no one noticed. How weird it had been when I realized my want to be invited out as a child disappeared as soon as I’d hit my teenage years. Not that it seemed to matter: I always got the impression people were as intimidated by me as I was by them. Conversation was difficult when you had to be careful what you said and what was said to you. I guess that’s why Annie and Dorian stuck to me more than anyone else. They had a higher tolerance for me than I had for myself at times. “The Travels of Bickerstaff” started something I didn’t think would happen. Annie was talking about it during class one day, reading it for her Literature class. She was in love with it. Couldn’t stop gushing about it. “I havne read it.” I’d told her when she asked. “You have to!” I remembered her saying. She shoved her copy into my hands. “Tell me when you’ve finished so we can discuss it!” And I did. By the Gods, I read it as soon as I got home. I took days to finish it. And we did discuss it. Talked about the good points and the slow parts. Of the satire aimed both outside and inside of Fathach. We went in-depth at our study sessions. As we did with the next book. And the next. And the next. It took being our own personal book club to realize how I truly felt about her. Telling her was one of the most nerve-wracking days of my life. I’d invited Annie over to the mansion to study and practice our Home Ec. mid-term project. We were to prepare a dessert based around a pair of ingredients we drew from a hat. Upside-down chocolate banana cake was one of the luckier combinations in our class. The kitchen corner was ours for the most part. Mrs. Livingston and her staff came and went, but we were by ourselves. It was when we were cleaning up that I decided to speak up. “Annie, can I tell ye somethin’?” I began cautiously. “Of course, Colm.” she’d replied. “I just…I wanna say somethin’ serious but I doona want ye tuh freak out or anythin’, alright?” “Colm, I won’t freak out.” “It’s just hard tuh ‘splain an’ I want ye tuh know cuz yer…yer one a’ me best friends an’-!” “Colm, it’s okay. I’m fine with your being gay.” I choked back my laughter at the thought. I didn’t want to be discovered by the others in the library. Or worse, kicked out. I laughed back then too. I had to. I thought her reaction would be worse. It helped my nerves, it really did. “No, Annie, no! I’m not gay!” I told her, wiping away tears of laughter. “Gods ‘bove, that would make things so much easier if that were the case…” “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to presume…” “I mean, I guess blokes are alright…I ne’er really gave it much thought so I woodne say ‘no’, persay…” I pondered for a moment. “Look, that isne why I wanna talk. It’s…it’s hard tuh ‘splain an’…an’ I havne told anyone else. I think…I think I’m comf’table ‘nuff ‘round ye tuh tell ye…but I doona wanna scare ye off either…” “Colm, do you want to go somewhere else to talk?” Annie asked as she glanced behind her. A couple of servants were cleaning the table and counters but were otherwise in their own worlds. “Somewhere quieter?” “…I dunno. I might chicken out if we go anywhere else…” “Okay. Then…then take your time. I’m listening.” It really was hard to explain. Harder, I guess, to figure it out myself. It was tough researching something when you didn’t know what was wrong with you in the first place. Or how to describe it properly. Especially when you knew you were missing something and just wanted a word, any word, to fill the void. “Befer…befer ye say anythin’, I want ye tuh know that…that no matter what, yer still me friend first. I’ll always be yer friend fer as long as ye want me tuh be. As long as ye…as ye can stand me.” “Why do you have to say things like that? I’m not ‘standing’ you.” Annie replied with a frustrated huff. “I like you just fine but you really need to stop doubting yourself.” “It’s nice tuh hear. It really is. But sometimes…sometimes it’s hard tuh believe. ‘Specially when it feels like e’eryone’s treatin’ ye with kid gloves like yer fragile. Or they only stick by ye cuz a’ yer family name an’ not who ye actually are.” I said before I could stop myself. Again, it wasn’t what I wanted to tell her but by the Gods was it something that held me back too. “I’ve always feared tryin’ tuh make friends ‘gain. It was somethin’ that happened ‘lot as a kid. I’d try tuh be one a’ the gang only tuh find out they dinna care or e’en like me. Lotsa noble kids playin’ kiss up with me an’ Liam an’ Molly while their parents did the same tuh Mum an’ Dad. Liam an’ Molly seem better at sortin’ out who’s a better friend. I wish I knew how…” “We all have that fear, Colm. You’re not alone with that. Putting yourself out there is hard to do. It hurts at times. I know how you feel.” Annie said after a quiet moment.  “Every relationship is like that, even if you don’t think so at first.” “Aye. Aye, it is. I just…I think I like ye, Annie. An’ I mean like-like. It took gettin’ closer tuh ye tuh realize that, ye know? B-but it doesne have tuh be that way. It really doesne.” Annie had gone silent and my stupid mouth wouldn’t stop. “I wanna stay yer friend. I do. We can still be friends. These are stupid feelin’s an’ I dinna wanna say anythin’ if ye were gonna take it the wrong way an’ I think ye did an’ Gods ‘bove this is goin’ pear-shaped why did I think I had tuh tell ye an’ I’m sorry so sorry please doona hate me fer-!” “Colm, stop. You’re fine. It’s just…just a lot to process, that’s all. You can get a bit garbled when you get flustered.” Annie explained with a soft laugh. “I think you should know…I’m not ready for a relationship yet.” “Oh Gods, I dinna mean right now! Or e’er! I dinna mean tuh sound like it was an ultimatum or anythin’!” “It didn’t sound like an ultimatum to me. Really. It’s…normal to feel like this with close friends.” “Oh. Huh. I…I ne’er had ‘nuff close friends tuh feel like this befer. Not fer a long time, at least.” I explained. “I still think yer an amazin’ person either way. I’d love ye all the same as yer friend. That’s all.” It took a moment to figure out why Annie had been blushing so hard. I followed suit when I realized I’d said “love” and not “like”. Both feet were finding places in my mouth at that point. “Gods, if only my last girlfriend had the same outlook as you.” Annie finally said after a while. “Girl…? Oh. Oh, did I o’erstep meself with that lil’ confession?” I asked, my face as hot as the sun in embarrassment. “No, not really. I like birds and blokes all the same, that’s all.” “Oh. Alright. Heh. Who was yer last girlfriend?” “You know that front row blonde in Home Ec.?” “Mara…Panagakos?” “Her.” “No way! Wait…is that why she tried tuh kiss me at Ronny Sitwell’s party last month?” “Probably to make me jealous.” “An’ make me uncomf’table! I ne’er get that far on most dates, let ‘lone with a complete stranger!” “What, really? Not even a goodnight kiss or anything?” “…I…It ne’er…it ne’er felt right…tuh me, at least…the idea uv’it’s fine but…I dunno how tuh ‘splain it…” “But you’d be fine kissing me?” “Heh. Maybe. Cuz I already know ye, ye know? I’m not nervous ‘round ye an’ somethin’ like that’d be-!” “That was a hint, doofus.” It was our first kiss. My first kiss. It was unexpected and awkward and all too short. But it was great. “I wasn’t kidding though. I’m not ready for another relationship yet.” “An’ I meant it. We ne’er have tuh be more than friends. I’d miss talkin’ tuh ye tuh much.” “This does explain a few things though.” “What things?” “I thought you started hanging out with me because you had…ulterior motives.” “Well…I do still kinda have one…” “…Oh?” Annie asked coldly. “I still want that damn Shepherd’s Pie recipe. Without the Gressleweed, a’ course.” We stayed friends despite my fears and my rambling confession. And we didn’t get together, at least not right away. We went on dates with other people. I even managed to open up a little more with classmates. It was still hard going, but lifting that weight really helped. Annie and I were going steady by the end of senior year. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect. No relationship is, and I learned that the hard way. We’ve had our ups and downs, and even taken breaks. Through it all however, we stayed friends. We were always there for each other when either of us found a new partner, or lost one. We still invited each other to important events, or even double dated. The last few years have been far less rocky, almost stable. I truly thought we were meant to be together. I just hoped I was worthy of being the one for her. The nostalgia and depressing thoughts died when I glanced at the notepad. Tim had seen my message sooner than I thought. Plenty of news to tell. Where should I start? Tim’s words read. Any new leads on the explosion? I wrote back. There was a moment while an explanation wrote itself out. They suspect it might be an inside job. The source of the explosion was somewhere near your desk. Either in or around the right-hand side. The custodial staff has been questioned, but no suspects. I tried to remember what I kept in my desk drawers. Stationery and pens, mostly. The occasional crisp pack or other snack. Photos and notes. Most of my good liquor was in its own cabinet for guests. And long days. I still needed to get extra film and paper for my typewriter. When I couldn’t decide what was most likely, I threw out a theory instead. It’s possible to curse a common object to explode, right? Tim took longer to reply. Yes but it would need to be activated through a keyword to keep it stable. Most destructive curses are instantaneous. At most they could be Delayed an hour, give or take. I’d been at my desk all day. If something was slipped into a drawer, I would have noticed. Or would I? Amelia and her near crash had been on my mind. Focusing hadn’t been easy. The most excitement I’d had was tearing up that letter and arguing with…with… You said the curse might’ve interfered with the Jumper stones, right? I needed to confirm. Something did at least Tim wrote back. It could have been that Bounce spell too. Ask Stryfe to look into the mailroom. I had a letter from TETH that I tore up and tossed into my rubbish bin that morning. Could have been the letter or the envelope or the stamp, whichever. Good Gods, if that was the case then it would have exploded shortly afterward anyway! If the mailroom gets cleared, tell Stryfe to look into TETH next. Do you have a name? Anything specific? No. I tore it up without looking. There was a longer pause before Tim replied. I’m not sure Stryfe can make the connection based on that alone. I wanted to scream. To punch something. To tell Tim everything on my mind with a surplus of swears. It took a large effort to restrain myself. Tim, whoever caused that explosion injured a great deal of people and nearly killed me and one of my best friends. If I have to turn over every damn rock to find her, Stryfe can turn over every damn lead he has if it means finding the culprits. The Gods help those responsible if I ever get my hands on them. Another question popped to mind as I finished writing. What do you know about Professor Mendes' personal project? Tim was excited to talk about that, at least. He was told to keep it secret until the right time. Was hoping to surprise me and discuss it in person as we toured it together. He was astounded to know I’d seen it already. Bridget was there. For a little while at least. I’m not sure how much longer the spell will carry on. I wrote. Any idea on that? Or how long my Jumper will last? I snuck an energy bar while I waited for Tim’s reply. The unwrapping went unnoticed but I was still wary. Food and drink were prohibited after all. Didn’t need a reason to be kicked out just yet. There was a good chance of a nap too if I was careful enough. I’m not certain how long either will last. There are too many unknown variables to take into account. Does the stone look different? Has it affected you yet? Tim eventually wrote. The stone did look different. What was once a bright white stone now looked dull. A light gray, perhaps. Thankfully there were no visible cracks yet. I wasn’t sure if I should tell Tim about my exhaustion. It could just as easily have been due to the stress of the situation or the lack of sleep. For all I knew, Dorian was at his elbow reading all this. He’d be on my arse the moment he thought I was in any sort of trouble. The stone looks gray, no cracks. Need sleep but that could be from worry. Does Stryfe know about this thing yet? Do you want him to know? That wasn’t the question. After a moment the words Yes I do appeared in Dorian’s script. I couldn’t decide if I was happy or angry about this development. For how long? Since Tim returned after your visit to Lady Imelda. Dorothy also called about your stopover in Borulaigen. I’ll apologize the next time I see her, I promise. She’s more worried than offended, Colm. How are you holding up? Are you tracking me? The delayed response wasn’t reassuring. Even if Lydia hadn’t insisted, I would have cast the Tracking spell anyway. You’re the High Lord, for the Gods’ sakes Have you written down where I’ve been? Yes. Are there any patterns or connections between them? Not that we can tell yet. Why? Was hoping you could predict where Bridget might turn up next. We tried Tracking her too but you have the strongest personal object of hers. Surprised you haven’t sent someone after me yet, Stryfe. Dorian would be leading the charge if I got into trouble. He’d done it several times before. Dorian was there when I tried to rescue Bridget from the Krugerrand. He was the first on the scene after the Lokai cart exploded and the Greater Wyvern attack. I was told he insisted both Bridget and I were brought back to Castle Scáth. No one else thought she had made it. No one else had cared. Dorian would rip me from Ankou’s arms if need be. In some ways, he had. This is the rare time I’ll say you’re better off without an entourage. For now. Gods help me, I will drag you back myself in time for the big day. Knew it. Whether you find Bridget in time or not. That was unexpected. Stryfe I’m not coming back without her I wrote back. She’s lost and I’m not giving up on her. I don’t expect you to. Most everyone here knows how much she means to you. “Most”? Let me guess: Lydia? Yes. She’s been screaming how there are more important things to worry about than a…well, I won’t say the word but you can probably guess. Of course. Bridget is important. I know this. You know this. But so is Fathach’s future. How horrible a leader was I that I was tempted to tell Dorian that no, no it really wasn’t? If it comes down to it, I promise you: we’ll find her together. Through all the Hells and back. Dorian would. I knew he would. But this was supposed to be my quest. Alone. Do me a favor and look into TETH anyway? Even if there’s no leads that way yet? Any particular reason? Besides the obvious? I want them dissolved. Or at least disgraced. They’ve gotten away with too much for too long and I’m tired of hearing the rumors. But I want it by the book. Legal. No damned loopholes for them to manipulate. I didn’t bother waiting for a response. An excuse was written to end the conversation. Need to find a place to stay for the night, I’ll write again later. Take care. That damned letter. If it really was cursed…Gods, how did it even get into the building? There were a multitude of spells protecting City Hall. There had to be, when the High Lord or Lady spent most of their days in there. Even more so for the people who worked beside them. It was one thing to attack the top, but innocent people didn’t deserve to be caught in the crosshairs. If an Arcadi had to suffer, it was alone. Gods. How accurate those words sounded now. How much I felt they applied to me. I wondered if Liam or Molly ever felt that way? Or Mum and Dad? There was so much I didn’t know. So much I wished I’d asked. So much I wished hadn’t happened. “The Travels of Bickerstaff” had lost its flavor. The words were barely recognizable as I read them. Everything seemed so…so… “OI! You!” “Gah! Wha-?” I yelped as I woke up. Seemed I was more tired than I thought. “Library closes in 10 minutes. Don’t forget to checkout your books before you leave.” the voice continued as I stretched. “Mmm right, a’ course…thank ye…” I mumbled sleepily. I tried to find the source, but shrugged it off when I found no one. Other patrons needed to be told, I supposed. The book would have to wait another day. No library card and no inclination to reveal myself over a borrowed book. “Oi! Leave it be!” the voice called out when I tried to put the book back. “Let the library staff earn their keep.” “Sorry, dinna-!” I replied after I set it back on the table. When I turned around, there was only a shelf against the wall. No one could have seen me unless… “…Oh.” It was hard to make out but there was something on the top shelf. Or rather, someone. The Human offered a nod but was content to ignore me otherwise. “Do ye…live here?” I whispered as I got closer to “their” spot. “That I do.” he said, his voice slow and gruff. “You’ve got 9 minutes now.” I threw my snacks into my backpack and grabbed one of the stepping stools. “Does anyone know you’re here?” I asked once I was at his eye level. “The librarians. A couple of students. You.” He was older, what remaining hair gray and thinning. An old footbag served as his chair. A thick volume -at his size- was in his hands. He was more interested in the pages than the staring “big’un”. “Are ye…safe here?” “Is anyone truly safe anywhere?” he replied with a turn of the page. “8 minutes.” “Are ye happy here?” “I’ve all the books I can read alongside peace, quiet, and no disturbances.” he said, sparing me a glance. “Usually.” “Do ye miss the books from home?” It was a stupid question. I knew that. But it slipped past my lips before my brain could stop it. I braced myself for the barrage that was sure to come. Or at least the insults. The insults I could take. “Considering these books are the ones from ‘home’, I’ll have to say no.” “Er, I meant from Earth. The Human world.” “Wouldn’t know. Never seen the place.” It shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise as it did. I’d seen enough in the last few days to realize that there were Tergaian Born Humans. But something about not knowing about your world just…struck me. “Read the theories, of course. Accounts from the few who’ve Crossed Over and seen it. I take those with a grain of salt though. Can’t really trust a Tergaian view on a world they don’t comprehend. No offense meant.” “None taken.” “You’ve 5 minutes now.” “Do ye always warn people ‘bout the time or am I just a special case?” “The librarians forget to come this far back for students sometimes. I hang about to warn stragglers and get to read any Diminished book I like. I also enjoy the solitude. Usually.” “Sounds like a good deal.” I chuckled. A granola bar was grabbed from my bag and laid beside him. “Sorry tuh take up yer time, Mister…?” “You can just call me Dewey.” “Sorry, Mr. Dewey.” “No apologies needed. Now get gone before you’re kicked out.” “G’bye Mr. Dewey. Enjoy the book.” I don’t know what it was about the library. Maybe the nap had done me some good after all. Maybe it was talking to Dewey about something so…heartbreaking. It was something I knew. Or at least something I should have figured out myself. Of course there had to be books by Humans for Humans. If someone Crossed Over with one, what were the chances it’d last long enough to be read by a Tergaian? If they took the time to consider the idea? If they didn’t just toss it away like yesterday’s rubbish? “I really need tuh do more, doona I?” I asked the stone lion guarding the entrance. I took its cold silence as confirmation.