Title: All of the Internet’s Effects
Drabbler: thegreatphan
Doodler: kiroujiswonderland
Beta: hotlikealaska
Summary: Dan and Phil decide to go through the phan tag.
WC: 992
Warnings: It says the “f” word twice and that’s it.
It was a boring Saturday afternoon when all this started… and where else would you expect me to be but tumblr. Yep. Phil and I had claimed our comfortable positions on the sofas facing each other after a quick episode of Sword Art Online, both of us with our laptops propped open.
It was eleven in the morning and I could already tell it was going to be one of those days where your thoughts are on a separate realm of existence- where all the hypothetical “what if’s” are brought to life and there’s no relative connection between one tangent and the next. Phil always had an adorably funny habit of referring to them as “internet thoughts” but this time, it felt like a little more than that. This time, the tangent prompted me to go through the phan tag.
Before I continue, I feel the need to remind you of how terrifying that tag is and how bad of an idea this was, but I forgot in the spirit of the moment… I suppose.
The first post on the tag was semi-decent; a drawing to represent the sim series on danandphilGAMES- however it heavily implied that Phil and I are married. Moving on. Next in the tag was a text post reading, “Dan has more chins than I have friends”. Now, I thought this was hilariously true, so I called Phil over so he could see.
“Phil?”
“Yeah?”
“You wanna hear something funny in our tags?”
“I thought we weren’t gonna care what the phandom does!”
“I got curious!”
Phil then- reluctantly- got out of his comfortable position on the sofa across from me and I teased, “Besides, if the phandom writes smutty fanfiction about you and I, wouldn’t you want to know?”
“No, because I’m not a creepy ogre like you.”
I got a good chuckle out of that and by then, Phil had found a nice spot on the couch and settled in.
Next on our list in the voyage through tumblr was, you guessed it, a post addressing heart-eyes-howell. Of course this was the first thing Phil saw when he came over (well done Dan). As I later found out, me looking at Phil is the majority of what the phandom talks about, so it seemed mandatory for me to pull off an infamous “no homo” in order to compensate for the situation, but because this is Dan you’re talking to here, I ended up enforcing it.
The post caused Phil to develop a pretty weirded-out expression, so as quickly as I could, I leaned over and whispered, “Phillu senpai” with an emotionally compromised look on my face.
This lead him to playfully say “Dan-kun.”
He saw some humor in that.
Thank God.
After that, we saw some lovely, creative submissions for Draw Phil Naked (despite him discontinuing that segment) and I ever-so-flirtatiously complimented him with the phrase, “It must be such an honour to be depicted as an incredibly attractive naked man”.
“How do you know that’s not how I actually look naked?” Phil remarked.
I snorted softly in reply and that was that.
Fast forwarding through a few hours and more short bants, we were both staring at the screen in silence- scrolling along- thinking many things and saying nothing.
For the sake of honesty, I will mention that I have thought plenty about what it would be like if Phil and I ever dated. It was inevitable- surely- that after all these years of being in constantius close proximity with my best friend, that I hadn’t at least toyed with this idea. Of course, simply “toying with the idea” isn’t where I drew the line; 2009 had everyone thinking we were a couple, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t head-over-heels for him then, but I thought I had become a master of repressing those emotions. Well, I “thought”, because the entire next conversation proved me wrong.
“Hey Dan?” Phil asked, looking at me curiously.
“What?” I nonchalantly replied.
“Are you in love with me?”
What the fuck.
How the fuck am I supposed to reply to that.
I managed to squeak out a flustered “W-what the Hell, Phil?”
Phil let out a full and pure laugh, which I would’ve thought was endearing if I weren’t just asked that question. Fortunately, Phil had spared me a few extra moments to think by continuing with his idea.
Well, you make it incredibly obvious.” Phil added. “The whole ‘heart-eyes-howell’ thing isn’t exactly baseless.”
“And?”
“You get jealous when I’m around anyone else for extended periods of time.”
“That could just be completely platonic!” I justified.
“Yeah, it would be… if you weren’t shaking right now.” Whoops.
“Erm-” I started before Phil interjected, “Don’t get me wrong, if you did, not much would change between us. I mean, we’re pretty much dating already, everything in the universe seems to ship us- the only difference is that we’d be more affectionate. I’ve been wanting to express this for years, but because you were young, I thought I should wait it out a little.”
I had to just stare at him and blink for a few seconds because my mind was still trying to comprehend everything. It’s a bit hard to think if your heart’s thudding in your ears and you can feel a lump in your throat tbh.
“Wait Phil… is this your way of asking me out?”
Phil hesitated before answering, “Sure.”
I inhaled sharply and ranted, “So I’ve struggled with a massive crush on you for years and you’re telling me YOU KNEW THIS ENTIRE TIME, FELT THE SAME, AND DIDN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.”
Phil nodded, “That’s what I’m saying.”
“You’re lucky I love you so much.” I sighed, embracing him.
Phil whispered, “I really am.”