He had never heard Wei Wuxian's voice so venomous. Not even when his demonic cultivation was bone deep and he was surrounded by his fierce corpses. Not when he was torturing Wen Chao. Not until now.
"You fucking coward. How could you Jiang Cheng? You lead a siege against us and then you drag me away as your men slaughter everyone? They were elders, children!"
Wei Wuxian took in a deep breath. His chest heaved and his eyes were fiery red.
"You could have at least killed me like you said you would, you fucking hypocrite! Killed me and let me die with them, and be hailed as a war hero, as a righteous leader!" He snarled, baring his unnaturally sharp teeth. Akin to a predator's.
He glowered at him, still on the ground from Wei Wuxian ripping himself away from him and shoving him down. He held Wei Wuxian's gaze, his expression blank and flat. It only served to fuel the rotting, all consuming hatred in Wei Wuxian.
"Well? A-Cheng?" A syrupy, mocking voice.
"Do you even regret it? Do you regret saving theYilling Laozu at the cost of so many lives?"
cw body dysmorphia, depersonalization ie. (in this context) feeling a sense of detachment from your body (closest definition I found for Wei Wuxian's discomfort in Mo Xuanyu's body, might not be entirely accurate)
.
"Wei Wuxian."
"Hm."
"Talk to me, won't you? Usually you never shut up, why are you starting now?"
Wei Wuxian turned on his side to look at the man beside him. His dark hair was spread over the sheets and his tan skin glowed in the moonlight. He looked relaxed. Content. More than he had been in years. Yet his eyebrows were furrowed with concern, a look Wei Wuxian didn't think would ever be directed at him again.
"Tell me what's bothering you."
Wei Wuxian reached out to twist his nose. "Aww A-Cheng! I knew you cared about little old me!"
"Wei Wuxian! Stop it, you fool!" Jiang Cheng angrily batted his hands away. Wei Wuxian cackled as he kept shoving him to the edge of the bed. "Eeek! A-Cheng! I surrender! ACK- Don't push me off!"
They scuffled on the bed, pushing and shoving each other while giggling like children. Eventually they settled down, limbs tangled together and small, giddy smiles on their faces.
The giddy atmosphere, didn't last, however. The palpable discomfort which had made Jiang Cheng worry slowly crawled back under Wei Wuxian's skin.
"Well? Tell me what's the matter. And don't think you can get away with changing the subject! Or humming like those dreadful Lans!"
He snorted despite himself. Then sighed. "Ah, Jiang Cheng..."
Who knew opening up would be this hard?
"It's this body. Mo Xuanyu's. It.. well, it-"
Shit. Opening up was so hard. Why did he try again? Oh right. Those stupid, concerned eyes.
"It.. uh-"
Jiang Cheng moved closer to him and slid an arm around his waist. "Is this alright?" A breathy, soft voice in front of Wei Wuxian's lips.
It was more than just alright. It was comforting and grounding. There was a lump in his throat.
"Yeah.."
Concerned eyes begged him to continue.
"This- this skin feels tight. You know what I mean? It's small and uncomfortable and, it's-its suffocating. I can't breathe, A-Cheng. This hair is too thin, this voice isn't- it's too high.. I-I don't sound like- This face- I mean, it's a c-cute face! Don't get me wrong! But it.."
"It's not you." Jiang Cheng finished.
"It's not me." Wei Wuxian repeated. "But it's the body I've got, it's what Mo Xuanyu sacrificed.. so I shouldn't feel this bad, right?"
Wei Wuxian couldn't look at Jiang Cheng. Not while he was being this pathetic. He avoided his gaze and tried to focus his eyes on something else. Anything else.
"No."
"What?"
Jiang Cheng took Wei Wuxian's jaw in hands and turned his head towards him. His eyes were blazing.
"I said no. You're allowed to feel bad. You're allowed to feel uncomfortable. You didn't ask for this. You didn't ask to be put in a body that wasn't yours."
Oh.
"But I still have to live with this body, don't I? How am I supposed to do that?"
"We'll work on it. Together."
Jiang Cheng took his hands in his and kissed them softly. He looked into Wei Wuxian's eyes and smiled with so much gentleness and sincerity that it made Wei Wuxian gasp.
"This body you have, it's not something hideous or ugly. It's beautiful. Perfect. Whole."
"Because it's you. It's beautiful because you are beautiful when you laugh, when you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. It's perfect because you're perfect when you care about others and look after everyone while trying to disguise it as your usual mischief. It's whole because you're whole. Because you break into a million pieces but you always get back up. You always push through and come back stronger, whole. Every. Single. Time."
Wei Wuxian was weeping. How could Jiang Cheng say such things? How could he look at someone as broken as Wei Wuxian, as weak, and see so much?
Jiang Cheng wiped the tears from his cheek. Gently. Oh so gently.
"We will do it. Help you feel better. Love yourself as much as l love you. Together."
Fuck. This stupid, wonderful man.
Wei Wuxian laughed wetly. "A-Cheng, who knew you were such a softy! No one will ever believe that the cranky Jiang-zongzhu spouts poetry to his shixiong in bed!"
"Oh, shut up." Jiang Cheng snapped. But he was grinning and his eyes also shone with emotion. Wei Wuxian ducked his head and continued to giggle in his shoulder.
"So. Together, then?"
"Yes."
Always.
.
Bonus:
Jiang disciple: Umm... Zongzhu..
Jiang Cheng: What is it? Tell me quickly.
Jiang disciple: There's this girl in the village..
Jiang Cheng: So? You want to get closer to her? Go ahead, why are you coming to me?
Jiang disciple, sweating profusely: Well.. I thought you might have some advice? Romantic advice? Maybe?
Jiang Cheng:
Jiang Cheng: WEI WUXIAN! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL MY DISCIPLES?
Wei Wuxian, cackling: Just how much of a romantic their zongzhu is, A-Cheng!
Jiang Cheng didn't look at the man in front of him. He continued to go through the correspondence from the other Sects.
"Jiang Cheng."
He didn't look up.
"A-Cheng."
Pale, clammy hands gripped both sides of his face and lifted it. All of a sudden he was looking at blood-shot, bugged out eyes filled with desperation.
"Please. I'm begging you. I'M BEGGING YOU! Let me die."
Jiang Cheng pushed him away and gathered up the paper work. He stood up and made to leave when the man grabbed his robes tightly, nearly tearing them.
"A-Cheng. P-please. I-I can't stay here."
Jiang Cheng snatched his robes from his hands. They tore from the force and fluttered uselessly, but he didn't care. The man collapsed to the floor, tears and another dripping down his face, but never once reaching the ground.
"I c-can't stay here and watch Shij- her son grow. A-alone. Because of me. A-Cheng, please. You've got to understand. I CAN'T DO THIS!"
Jiang Cheng paused his movements towards the door and turned around. He looked in the man's eyes without betraying a single hint of emotion.
