#fictional weapon game

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I am currently experiencing loneliness, fatigue, a headache, and more than a little anxiety (much of it related to how absent I’ve been from Tumblr and whether I’ve isolated myself from all you awesome people on here.)

Would anyone be willing to play an Inbox game with me today?

Here’s what I’m thinking:

Send me an ask with a made-up word and a ⚔️ (or just #weapons if you don’t have emoji) and I will reply with the description of a fictional fantasy weapon with that name.

What do you think? Anybody want to play?

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Zortswoggle ⚔️

What an amazing way to start this game! 🤩

A zortswoggle is a specialized weapon made famous (or infamous) for its popularity among goblins living in humid wetlands near the equator. It consists of two hooks made of bone or wood, and is typically attached to a riding harness on aquatic mounts like crocodiles, giant frogs, and giga catfish. (Though some particularly aggressive fighters who are also adept swimmers will sometimes wear the zortswoggle themselves.)

The hooks are primarily used to snag enemies by surprise, dragging them into the murky water before they have time to recover.

It is generally agreed that the best counter to a zortswoggle is simply avoiding it in the first place, which led to the regional idiom “blocking the zortswoggle,” meaning to rush in to a hasty and ill-fated decision.

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Mattadella #weapons

The Mattadella is a set of practice weapons used to train individuals with telekinetic magic and abilities. It traditionally consists of 24 objects, including blades, hooks, and various blunt objects. Training with a mattadella is generally intended to gradually increase how many objects the trainee can effectively manipulate simultaneously.

Because music is often used to help individuals focus while training with a mattadella, there is a common superstition that it’s bad luck for parents to interrupt children who are zoning out to music.

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Slurmp #Weapon

Slurmps are used almost exclusively by imps who find glee not only in the pain they cause, but also the sounds they make. It is essentially a toilet plunger with a long spike on the inside.

Prolonged discussions regarding the slurmp have been tied to mass hysteria and loss of santity, so we’ll conclude our definition here.

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⚔️ a flibertygibbet

A flibbertygibbet is a small throwing blade that has been enchanted to ricochet wildly around a room until it hits its intended target. It is generally regarded as a specialized weapon since it often causes excessive collateral damage as well as significant losses on both sides if used carelessly.

Flibbertygibbet has also become a slang term to refer to someone who is flighty or unreliable, and/or someone who seems to constantly leave drama and chaos in their wake (though not necessarily on purpose.)

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#weapons Karalumpus

Dwarven mace with a heavy striking end on one side, and flat counterweight on the other. (Often described with ridiculously exaggerated proportions when included in stories.)

The considerable mass of the flat counterweight is well suited for dropping on enemies who may try pop out of the ground at a moment’s notice.

Almost in direct contrast to our expression, “dropped the ball,” which implies missing an opportunity, the expression “dropped the karalumpus” implies quick thinking and decisive action in a stressful situation.

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Talvick! ⚔️

The Talvick is a ceremonial dagger used by elves who live in northern Dragon Country during the final stages of a wedding/joining.

Materials used in the construction of talvicks varies wildly, but one characteristic they all share the lack of a handle. As wielding a talvick is the only way for someone to object to the union at that late stage of the ceremony, it is seen as fitting that anyone wishing to disrupt it must be willing to cut themselves when they grip the thin blade.

When someone is said to “still be carrying a talvick,” it implies that they have yet to let go of an old love interest who chose someone else.

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⚔️ Clearent, perhaps?

The Clearent is a woodwind musical instrument that can switch to acting as a blowgun when a certain note is played. It can typically hold only a single shot (often a poisoned dart of some kind) which is why it is used more for targeted assassination attempts, rather than battles.

The United Guild of Bards and Musicians (UGoBaM) has condemned the use of clearents for decades, due to the distrust it has caused for anyone performing with a woodwind instrument. Use of, or even possession of, a clearent is grounds for immediate termination of UGoBaM membership.