Flavoracle

I'm Dave. Husband. Father. Writer. Inventor of Vorthos Volleyball. Founder of the Flavorum.

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CUT MY LEAF INTO PIECES

AND THEN WE DRAG AND SORT

FERMENTATION

AND SEEDING

CAN’T EAT A FUNGUS IF I’M NOT FUNGUS BREEDING

[patrickat]

THIS IS MY INSECT FORTE

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‘CAUSE I’M USING MY BITE

CHEWING THIS SLIME

WISH THE PROCESS DIDN’T TAKE SO MUCH TIME

USING MY BITE

CHEWING THIS SLIME

TOOK ME MONTHS TO COME UP WITH THIS RHYME

THE TASTE IS ALRIGHT

THE SCENERY’S SUBLIME

I’M RUNNING UP A VINE

[flavoracle]

The original post gets lots of attention (which is great) but it makes me sad how many people miss out on the whole thing.

So here it is 🤓🐜

[flavoracle]

The original post has been making the rounds again, so I thought I’d put this at the top of my posts for anyone who checks out my blog after seeing the original. 😁🐜

[pietriarchy]

[asexualgeorgecostanza-deactivat]

[joey-wheeler-official]

[piss-bong]

[canopycapers-deactivated2022111]

[schmendrick-lamar-deactivated20]

[journeymanfool]

[dowereallyneedthis]

[favoritefightingfrenchgoth]

[disorderfaking-deactivated20200]

[goofballproximitysurveyor-deact]

[wilburian-deactivated20221116]

great job everyone lets hit the showers

[testosteronetwink]

[pinkthinkspalistineshouldbefree]

Not again

[cool-way-to-die-deactivated2022]

gentle reminder that you can’t get this kind of nonsense from any other site

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This thread is almost eight years old and it has damn well earned its place among the Tumblr pantheon as a Heritage Post™️

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“You know, I can’t help but notice that you’ve got skin on the front of your body too.”

- me, as I finish rubbing my partner’s back with lotion

[dunsparcee]

I sneeze

[internetwes]

[hotlikeaspicymeatball]

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

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Her: “You were really tossing and turning in your sleep last night babe. What were you dreaming about?”

Me: (singing) “It’s the eye of the tiger, and the wings of the bat, and the mouth of the hippo, and the tail of the rat, and the teeth of the walrus, and the skin of the cat, and the cards in the wallet, and the ink in the tat, and the…”

[preserving-tiktok]

[flavoracle]

When people ask how my mental health is going

[markrosewater]

I've been seeing a lot of use of "Kindred" as referring to deck archetypes/synergies rather than just the card type, from a lot of content creators and online discussions. Could you reiterate how WotC uses "Kindred" and other related terms just for a quick rehash?

Here’s the terminology we use in R&D.

Typal - Using subtypes or supertypes, usually creature types, as a mechanical theme.

Kindred - The card type that allows you to put creature types on a noncreature card.

It’s important for our jobs that the two concepts be clear, so we understand what exactly we are talking about. This was especially true in Lorwyn Eclipsed as it used typal and kindred.

[tumblhurgoyf]

Generally less important players get this right, though it could be useful. Mostly I think context allows you to figure out what someone means and the successful design of a set doesn't rest on your average player using the right word.

[flavoracle]

This is good info to know! And I’m glad they are now using terminology that is more precise and less problematic than the old “tribal” terminology.

[targetedknowledge]

[flavoracle]

Well I mean, I am NOW

🧠😶‍🌫️😈

[titheabsolution]

*sacs you for a death trigger*

*recurs you*

*sacs you for a death trigger*

*recurs you*

*sacs you for a death trigger*

*recu

[flavoracle]

You know, in the old books and stories about Magic: the Gathering, it seemed to me that planeswalkers were always these out of touch godlike assholes who didn’t care about how many lives they destroyed or worlds they ruined in their pointless ambitions to compete with each other.

But y’know, after reading this post from the perspective of one of the creatures I so casually summon, sacrifice, alter, and who knows what else, I take a look at myself and go, “Ohhhhhhhh…”

[flavoracle]

I'm Dreaming of a Wet Christmas

The first time I ever moved away from home was when I lived in Arizona for two years as a Mormon missionary. The hot and dry climate of the desert really made me miss home sometimes, especially my first Christmas away.

With that in mind, I wrote these alternate words to the song “White Christmas” (with apologies to Bing Crosby.)

I’m dreaming of a Wet Christmas Like those I knew in Oregon Where the carolers fizzle Downed out by drizzle And no one ever sees the sun

I’m dreaming of a Wet Christmas With every soggy card I get When you’re from there It’s hard to forget That all of our Christmases are wet

[flavoracle]

I posted this exactly ten years ago, when I was just starting out on Tumblr, so it makes sense that it only has eight notes at the time of this reblog.

Man, what a different period of my life that was! Time is a crazy thing.

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What do you get when there's a zombie outbreak on Christmas? 🎄🧟‍♂️🎄

Jingle Bell Rot

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rot 

Jingle bell dread from jingle bell dead 

Moanin' and groanin' in back of a hearse 

The whole jingle world has been cursed 

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rot 

Jingle bell smell like jingle bell hell 

Peein' and fleein' the jingle bell horde 

So you don't get gored! 

What a fright time in the nighttime 

From rot and from decay 

Jingle bell crime in the daytime 

As we panic in a rioting way 

Giddy-up jingle corpse, pick up your teeth 

From your cemetery plot 

Bit from a single zombie through a wreath 

That starts jingle bell rot! 

[flavoracle]

Teaching My Kids to Play Magic – Five Things I’ve Learned

Around this time of year you may be thinking about gift ideas for the kids in your life, and you may be wondering if now is a good time to teach them to play Magic: the Gathering. 

Magic is a complex game that adults play at all levels of skill, from beginners to professionals. But despite the fractal-like complexity of the game, the basic rule set and premise of Magic makes it an excellent game to share with kids too. Just keep in mind that introducing young children to Magic can be very different from teaching it to a teen or adult. 

This year, my oldest daughter (age 7) and son (age 5) asked me to teach them to play Magic. It’s been a great experience and we’re having a lot of fun. We’re all learning a lot too. Below are the top five lessons I’ve learned while teaching my kids to play Magic. 

Keep reading

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I can’t believe this post is now over five years old.

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I can’t believe this post is now exactly TEN years old!

That is bonknuts.

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For anybody in the MTG community who wants a refresher on the story and setting of the original Lorwyn/Shadowmoor blocks before Lorwyn Eclipsed comes out next year!

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When your friends need emotional support, but you’re just barely holding your own shit together

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The car in front of me and @zoyogrl has a “I ❤️ My Grandogs” bumper sticker. And I have SO many questions!

Are those her dog’s children? Are they her children’s dogs? Is there a new breed that I’m unaware of? And why is there only one D?! What is going on?!!

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Mental Health Self-Care Announcement:

I was today years old when I learned that you can just listen to music from The Great British Baking Show anytime you want.

You don’t even have to watch an episode!

Great British Bake Off

Great British Bake Off

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I used to think I had friends. Then I learned that the 2000 movie adaptation of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (starring Jim Carrey) has a SWINGERS scene as part of a flashback to the Grinch’s origin story. AND NOBODY TOLD ME?!?!