Noemata and Exomemories
I don’t really get much exomemories. Not from other lives at least. Depends on when and how you or I count lucid dream world, it’d be a toss up for me to call all of them exomemories, but I also wouldn’t say some of them aren’t. It gets fuzzy at time whether it truly is just made up chaos from mind, or if it has been a view into a different world. Sometimes they felt like that.
The dream I talked about last day has a bit of element of exomemories in there. How much? I do not know.
Other moments where I have exomemories are from vision. This was me doing a group guided mediation, and I sort of fell asleep, but then.
Thunder booming, flashing, the storm raging. The sky is dark, and the ocean is wailing. Peeking through the clouds, a sliver of form, a white dragon darting in and out of the storm clouds.
I don’t actually know if it was indeed my kardiatype, but there is a inkling of it being true, so I’d like to think so. And based on that, I do think they have a storm based power. Just like your typical generic east asian dragon. (You can see I have a lot of gripe of my kardiatype being seen as Haku)
You can say the rest of the thing I figured or theorized are based off of the exomemories, I would call some of them noemata, even if a bit wobbly. Because how am I sure my kardiatype was a prince of the ocean? To be honest, I’m not certain either. Sometimes there are just things we don’t or can’t know about our identitype, and that’s okay, their significance and for the identification ones, our self identifications, do not diminish just because we end up having created element within. After all, the phrase “to make memories” is not just a metaphor. You are “living, doing, creating, experiencing.”[1]
Talk about created memories vs exomemories. I also had a flash of vision with my hearttype that confused me to no end, because while it is a possible headcanon of mine, my mind was no where near thinking of a headcanon to even get there.
Laughter. A kid with bright blond hair running towards a village, a house. A pair of eldery couple came out to greet the young child.
I know that’s not Konoha. And I know that kid is me/not-me/Naruto.
It’s really interesting how I can remember it so clearly, compare to my dream memories that are faded at the edge, blurry. I think that’s why I see that as a exomemories. There’s too much other sensation, the sight clear, the sound loud, and maybe scent? You also see I had momentary confusion between the self pronoun there. That was the spark for me to ponder if it may be a kardiatype that was later disregarded, as while important to me, my Naruto hearttype wasn’t a foundational building block of who I am. I also don’t know if Kurama was with that Naruto. But here is where noemata comes in.
I have a lot, and a lot of noemata. Things I just know in my gut. Maybe for my fictomere they are influenced by the source material as well as fandom interpretation. But still. Headcanon and imagined story in my head had this ethereal feeling, like they are not all there, much more pliable, but also more distant from me.
My Naruto hearttype has a Kurama with him. And has a far strong tie to Uzushio. I don’t know if Uzushio was around, maybe that’s why that little bit of exomemory, that Naruto wasn’t in any place recognizable. It look like a random village, all wood hut. Maybe those are Uzushio people.
I think that is true.
A lot of the times, noemata just pops out of nowhere. Or sometimes, I ask questions, and something within me will answer. And I will know. It is why when I assist others in self discovery, I will ask questions, and the “no”’s and “maybe”’s are just as valuable as “yes”’s.
Sometimes you don’t even have to ask questions, something external will trigger and you had that lightbulb turning on moment. Like how I realized that three-tailed kitsune is specific is my Naruto hearttype’s paratype, and how my Aurelion Sol is the 5th concept version that people dub the “unbounded” form. Or that my kardiatype’s guarded village was one that was in ancient Japan, not one of the well known period people likes to talk about.
My own style of self discovery is very lax, “follow the flow” style, however. I got a lot of noemata jumpscare this way.
Like how out of the thousands of pokemon, it was Mew that resonated with me and become a archetrope, instead of say, dragonite or ditto.
Like I somehow figured out I’m not neccessary flying so much that I’m floating. Like how Mew does. Or that I don’t breath any elemental attack. Or the various detail discovery with each and every one of my forms, how the aquatic form have far more different physics than many of my other forms (shark head, sonar receptive ears, quill feather on back though that’s more from phantom shift than pure noemata, turtle flipper though that’s more a empathy moment from playing Ark Survive Evolved and seeing how the magmasaur’s hind leg moves), how I’m just certain that the dream dragon kintype is a present thing, current life thing.
It gets harder and harder to tell if some noemata are purely random, or maybe born from the churning of internal contemplation that always accompanied the discussion on alterhumanity within the community. Like when I figure that I do not eat physical substance, or how I know I as a dragon is a spirit, sort of like youkai and kami, sort of a energy being, sort of a pokemon like creature, a rpg monster.
Regardless of exomemories, noemata that are from random chances or from deliberately triggered knowledge, or created memories or personal “canon”, these are all the breadcrumbs of one’s alterhumanity, all important, all precious.
[1] You’re Here to Make Moments, Not Memories
https://medium.com/mind-cafe/youre-here-to-make-moments-not-memories-249970eed41f
