My Authentic Self
By Jeff, a Benefits Consulting Pension Specialist.
Growing up in a small, east Texas town, I was bullied for being gay before I even knew what being gay was. I was told that I was disgusting, vile and not worthy of respect or compassion. I taught myself how to walk, talk and carry myself so I could “fit in” as best as I could. I tried my best to not rock the boat, not draw attention to myself in any way, shape or form. Thinking back, it’s a little jarring at how my story is not unique. In fact, I would say that most people that are LGBT+ have a similar background. We all, at one point in time, have tried our best to simply be overlooked rather than be called out for being different. Where my story becomes a bit rare is that I, unlike most of my friends and to this day my boyfriend of 7 years, had the support and absolute love from my parents. I believe whole-heartedly I would be in a different place now if I hadn’t had that support and unconditional love, to fall back on when the world got tough.
Moving to the Dallas/Fort Worth area after high school, I proceeded into my college years with extreme caution. Through finding friends and pushing myself to meet new people and try new things, I gained self-confidence and more importantly, learned to love myself the way that my parents always have.
I can remember my first day/week at Fidelity. I was terrified. All I had heard from anyone I had talked to was how much of a community atmosphere the Texas site has. While that may sound good to any one reading this, to me it was pretty intimidating. I knew that the support from my family was rare and fully expected any interactions with anyone would need to be carefully scripted. I remember the dread when the trainer, who is now a close friend of mine, was going around the room and asking each of us to tell everyone a little bit about themselves. I don’t exactly remember what I said because all I can remember is thinking about how I sounded, my hand motions, etcetera. It was either that day or later that week that I got bold and mentioned “my boyfriend.”
I was expecting a pause, uncomfortable tension or broken eye contact when I said it. I had accepted the fact that this would forever change how I interacted with this group of individuals. Thankfully, I was only semi-correct. This did forever change how I interacted with them, in that; I FINALLY realized that I shouldn’t be ashamed. There were no pauses, the air didn’t get heavy and everyone kept listening. That one seemingly tiny interaction, I believe, changed my entire career. Over the years and moving through different groups within Fidelity, I’ve never felt that my voice needed to be subdued or that it would be better if I hid any part of my story. I think a big part of that is the leadership here at Fidelity being one of the most supportive I’ve ever seen. I strive to ensure anyone I come in contact with understands that this is a safe space where no matter what, we accept you for who you are and want you to do well in your career. Working for a company that is proud of you and pushes you to succeed is one of the best things I could have ever asked for. Here’s to being your authentic self!